I slowly laid myself down on the bed with tears still streaming down my flushed cheeks. What Jongin said was still fresh in my mind and it stabbed my heart everytime I replayed his words like a broken record. Oh Lord, why did it hurt so much? I felt like dying because my heart was hurting so much and it was hard to breathe as my breathing was heavy. 

I didn't know Jongin disliked me that much. Or maybe he had hated me from the very start when his mother introduced me to him? He could've said it straight to me instead of pretending he liked me because that's worse.

"She annoys me so much with her questions if I liked her dresses or her shoes or the hair clip she has on her hair and blah blah blah." 

No wonder Jongin always refused to look at me when I asked him if he liked my outfit. I just wanted to look pretty before him. Was that wrong? 

"Gosh, I don't have time to go on stupid dates at stupid cafes with her." 

One day when I dialed Jongin,

"Hey Jongin!" 

"Oh, hi Se-Na" His voice sounded tired.

"I'm kind of craving for the red velvet cheese cake near the cafe to your dorm. Maybe you could accompany me this evening?" I heard his sigh at my question. I started to worry if I bothered him so I quickly continued, "But if you're busy, that's okay! I was just asking anyway." 

"Yeah sure, why not" Although he didn't sound very enthusiastic, it was good enough he's going with me right?

"Alright, meet you there. Bye, Jongin!"

I waited in the cafe at the seat by the window waiting for Jongin to appear. I smoothed my white cotton dress and I had a white scarf on my head to match my dress. Before me, there were two small plates of red velvet cake with one cup of hot chocolate for me and another cup of black coffee, Jongin's favourite. Suddenly, I heard the bell in the cafe chimed. I lifted up my head to see Jongin walking through the door and smiling back to the workers with a small "Thank you" when they greeted him a warm welcome. I waved my hand up, smiling brightly to him and he returned the same. Only it was a smaller one. 

I was asking him questions about his day, th