Sometimes, I just need a little love. 

I know people won't like seeing me, a cheerful and jumpy girl suddenly getting so emotional, but I actually ain't as strong as I seem to be. Sehun was the first guy I pursued so bravely. After seeing his passion for dancing and his devotion towards Krystal, I fell for him. Before I actually asked for his number that day, no one knew how much I hesitated. They all thought I was a cheerful girl, the happy pill in our group, and even if that was true - I'm a girl too, and sometimes it gets really hard to constantly open my mouth first.

I feel sad too, when I see his blank reactions. Occasionally he'd smile a little bashfully and sometimes, people even said they saw him blush. I liked seeing his shy actions, but sometimes, I really don't want to see them forever. Using the silly plan, ignoring him for days so he'd finally realize how much my presence meant wasn't what I planned to do, really. Maybe I just got tired and needed to see his longing gaze as I walk pass him without a word and expression. 

Today, we have a gathering with the boys at the school's rooftop which had pretty much became known as 'our turf'. I mean let's be honest - we were idols among all the others in school, the so-called most talented ones in the place. And sometimes I'd think, am I not pretty? Aren't I rather popular in public? I'm quite hardworking too, I focus on my studies too. But perhaps it's because of these little things - I'm not extremely good-looking, not the most popular among the group members, not hardworking without being lazy at times, and I'm not intelligent too. 

It's always an average of everything, there's nothing I stand out in. Perhaps that's why I try to be cheerful and make the people around me happy. And that's why I'm grilling the meat tonight together with some others, a huge smile on my face. The others were singing to a song, seating in a circle and clapping the hands to the beat. It was a warm night even though it was the winter season. We had friends, the whole school to ourselves to keep us from the stress accumulated from being public figures.

The night was still young as we munched on the meat, forgetting about our controlled calorie intake. After eating for a whole hour, we took out the chips, popcorn, soft drinks and decided to slowly eat them as we play games.

"Truth or dare?"

"No, game of kings!"

In the end we decided to play both games and found out pretty interesting things. Kris and Tao admitted to have touched each other when drunk, Baekhyun admitted to having a crush on someone in the company, and Krystal was dared to kiss Kyungsoo (but obviously Kai strongly objected to it and the girl had to drink a bowl of the spicy ramyun soup as punishment).

"I'm the King!" Kris threw his card smugly and eyed every one of us carefully, as if he'd could see what numbers our flipped cards held. "Number 5 and 6 hug for one minute on this stool!" he pulled a stool over as everyone flipped their cards one by one. Catcalls and whistles flew out our mouths as Suho and Luna made their way to the middle of the circle. The game continued after Luna and Suho hugged awkwardly for sixty seconds, making ugly faces at the others who tried to create a couple name for the two of them.

For some reason, I might've wished that was Sehun and I, but for some reason, maybe it shouldn't be us.

"Alright, stakes up now! I'm the King," Amber