Chapter 13

She looked at it intently, then closed her eyes and looked at it again.“Oh gosh, Yong... Oh no...” Seohyun exclaimed, as she covered with her palm, looking very shocked.

Flashback 

July 12, 2015 - 7:58 p.m.

“I don’t want this anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Yonghwa frowned.

Shinhye sighed harder and looked sideway, avoiding Yonghwa’s gaze for a while. 

They were in the law firm where Shinhye’s office is. For two nights, Shinye has not been answering Yonghwa’s calls. And for the past months, they continuously have arguments every single day.

Shinhye looked at her desk while sitting, while Yonghwa was standing across her. They were silent for a few moment. 

“Yonghwa Oppa, this is not going to work anymore.” She said, almost in a whisper. “It’s better if we just call off the wedding.” 

Yonghwa chuckled bitterly. “Are you kidding me?”

“No.” Shinhye shook her head. She stood up from her seat and approached Yonghwa. “Oppa, can’t you see? We’re not the same people anymore. We're not the same college students who depend on each other in a foreign country just to survive. This relationship is not working anymore!"

Yonghwa just looked at her intently. 

Shinhye massaged her temples, thinking of the right words to say. “Yonghwa Oppa, do you really believe that we’re in love with each other?" She asked.

Biting his lower lip, eyebrows are furrowed, he stares at his fiancee, “What kind of question is that?” Yonghwa asked.

Shinhye continues to avoid eye contact with Yonghwa, she sighed, “What if, what if we just depended on each other when we were in New York, but we're really not IN love with each other?" She emphasized.

“We’ve been in a relationship for five years and now you’re telling me that we don’t love each other?” Yonghwa asked in sarcasm.

“Can’t you see?” Shinhye insisted. “We’re just plainly civil. We might be in a relationship for our name’s sake only because we both belong to well-off families. Maybe because we grew up with that kind of mentality, that we should be surrounded with influential people and that's what we do... our families benefit when we're together. But love? Do we really have that?"

Yonghwa stayed silent. 

“Yonghwa Oppa,” Shinhye continued, “I’ll ask you one question and I want you to think about it carefully... Why do you want to marry me?"

They stared at each other for a long time. Words got caught on Yonghwa’s throat. And while he was looking at Shinhye, he saw mist in her eyes. He starts to well up too, but slowly, he saw a slight smile curving up Shinhye's lips.

“You see?” Shinhye said with a teardrop, “You can’t even say that you want to marry me because you love me.” She said almost in a whisper, letting out a a little chuckle.

“Shinhye-ah...”

“No Oppa...it’s okay.” Shinhye said as she touches Yonghwa’s arm and comforts him. “I understand. Because if you’re going to ask me that same question, I don't know the answer too."

Yonghwa didn’t say a word anymore. 

“Oppa, we can’t marry each other if our reason is to make our family richer or to have more connections. Let’s not do that.” Shinhye said.

“I care for you Shinhye-ah...” Yonghwa said. “I know that I loved you in my own way. I don’t understand your logic.” 

“You care for me and loved me, Oppa...that’s given. I know that. And I feel the same way for you, too. But I realized that we feel that way only because we need each other. Especially when we were in the States. But that love and care we are giving are not those kinds what should make us marry each other." Shinhye tried to explain.

Yonghwa sighed. “Just tell me Shinhye-ah.. Let’s get this straight.” Yonghwa said while breathing hard because he knows there's something more than what he's hearing from her.

Partly, what Shinhye told him was true. When they were in New York, it’s true that he depended on Shinhye too much that he got used to having her all the time. And when they're back to Korea, their families easily agreed for them to get married for it will be for the best for both of their families.

All of Yonghwa’s life revolves around making his parents happy, especially his Father. He grew up with a mentality that he can’t be like any other normal kids who can get what they want or who can play freely.  And this is all because he is Jung Yonghwa, an heir. And what he says won't matter, but what his father does. 

That’s why when he met the boys, that’s the time he started to feel free. When they were playing as a band, that's the first time he felt really happy. But when he was thrown to New York and forced him to study a course he doesn't want to take, he realized that his life is mapped alread