Jaejoong arrived fifteen minutes early for his 10 a.m. appointment.  He wanted to be absolutely certain when that his name was called, he’d be there.  When the long hand of clock hit 10, his name was being called.  “ Mr Jung Jaejoong?”

“I’m here,” Jaejoong answered.

The nurse led Jaejoong down the hall, stopped at a closed door down the hall, knocked softly, and after waited for a few second, she opened the door and ushered Jaejoong inside.  Pointing to the leather armchair, the nurse said,” Please, take a seat.  Dr   Shim will be right with you.”  She left the room as soon as Jaejoong was seated.

After a few minutes waiting, the door opened and Dr Shim came in.

“Good morning,” he said, extending his hand to Jaejoong for a handshake.

“Good morning,” Jaejoong replied with a smile.

Dr Shim returned his smile and then rummaged through the pile of patient filed stacked on the floor and when he found Jaejoong’s, he sat back in his chair.  He looked at the report clipped inside the folder and the look across the desk at Jaejoong.

“Mr Jung,” he began slowly, “Based on the result of your blood test conducted last week, I would like for you to see another doctor, and I think I can arrange your appointment for you to see him today.”

“Today?”

Dr Shim nodded.

“What kind of doctor?”

“An oncologist.  I think you have some form of blood cancer.  I’m not an expert in this area therefore I would like for you to see this doctor.

Jaejoong had so many questions running through his mind at the moment as soon as the doctor mentioned the word ‘cancer’ but he said nothing.  He just sat quietly, bit his lower lip.  Finally, he raised his head, said with a weak smile, “Okay.”

Dr Shim gave Jaejoong a reassuring smile and dialed the number.

“Yes, good morning.  This is Dr Shim Changmin from Seoul General Hospital.”

A pause.

“I’m fine, thank you.  I have a patient sitting with me, Jung Jaejoong and I’d like to make an appointment for him to see Dr Kim as soon as possible.”

“No, three weeks from today is not what I had in mind.  I was hoping Dr Kim could see Mr Jung today.”

The person on the other said something that Jaejoong couldn’t hear.

“I think that’ll be fine but let me check it with him first.”

Dr Shim covered the mouthpiece of the receiver with his palm and looked across the desk at Jaejoong, “Can you make an appointment at 3 in the evening?”

“Yes”

“Yes, that’ll be fine.  Mr Jung will see you at 3 in the evening.  Thank you very much for your help.”

He hung up the receiver and began to write something on a piece of paper.  “Here’s Dr Kim’s address and his phone number.  He’ll see you at 3 in the evening,” he repeated and handed Jaejoong the paper.

“Call me as soon as possible after you meet Dr Kim and let me knows if there’s anything I can do to help.”

As he rose to leave, Jaejoong replied, “I will”. After a quiet “Thank You” and an equally quiet “Good bye” left his mouth and he was gone.

 As soon as he left Dr Shim room, he quickly went to the elevator.  He pushed the elevator button and had to wait for a few minutes.  When the door open, he quickly entered and pushed the elevator’s button for basement after the doors had closed.  When it reached designated floor, he quickly exited and walked into the parking lot to retrieve his car.  When he reached it, he scrambled for his keys, opening the door, he locked himself inside.  He tried to get the key into the ignition but failed.  During second attempt, his fingers lost their grip on the keys and they fell clattering to the floor.  Jaejoong screamed in frustration.

With tears running down his cheeks, resting his head on the steering wheel, he whispered to himself, “Cancer.  I have cancer.”

“This can’t be happening! I can’t believe I have cancer and this is how I’m going to die.”

Jaejoong hugged himself, and rested the side of his head against the window.

“Why is this happening to me?” he whispered.  He sat like that for a long time.  After a while, he brushed his tears with both hands, breathing deeply and with each breath he felt himself began to grow marginally calmer.  He reached down and retrieved his keys from where they had fallen and tried again to fit it into the ignition.  After a few tries, he managed to start the car.  He knew that driving in an emotional state in dangerous, but he headed for Dr Kim’s office nonetheless.