First thing he sees after opening bedroom door is figure of Jonghyun curled up in bed. His brown hair are spread all over the pillow, his hands are clenched over the sheets and he looks just as cute in this position as it's possible for twenty-five years old man. Taemin makes his way towards bed, and not caring about his dirty after work clothes he lays on it next to his boyfriend. 

Jonghyun is breathing slowly, peacefully like he's always doing, and Taemin leans closer to feel this tranquillising breath on his face. It never fails with calming him down, the view of Jonghyun sleeping so quietly makes him forget everything about how ty and scary is the world he just came back from and how many bad things happened to him during the day. Jonghyun mumbles something still sleeping and Taemin smiles warmly and the elder's cheek lovingly. 

He was always bad with words, he never knew how to express what he feels in particular moment, or how he feels towards particular person. It wasn't different when it came to Jonghyun. It took many months for the elder to get closer to him and it took many more for Taemin to believe that Jonghyun truly loves him. First thing Taemin hears from the elder's lips every morning is 'I love you', it's also the last thing he hears before falling asleep. 

He himself is rarely saying that to his boyfriend, not because he doesn't love him, but because he was never good with saying stuff like that. He wants to say these words, he wants it really badly, but his voice always disappoints him, his words get stuck deeply in his throat and he can't say them. He was that odd ever since he remembers, there was something wrong with him since the very beginning. He couldn't change it, he tried. He was damaged and he knew that he'll always be. 

That's why he started to show Jonghyun his affection by gestures. At the beginning they also weren't coming easily to him, he also has problems with being too close to people, both physically and emotionally, but more time passed, more he was getting attached to Jonghyun, easier it was getting for him. So he's always looking at the elder in that way that he hopes shows how much he loves him, he's smiling and he prays that this small gesture is enough for Jonghyun. 

It is.

He heard so many 'I love you's' in respond for his smile, and he smiled so many times in respond for 'I love you'. At the beginning he was counting, scared that he won't have as many of them as he wanted to. He couldn't believe that there was someone in this world who could live with someone as weird as he is. He was convinced that every person must turn away from him at some point, because it's hard being close to someone so different as he is. However time was passing and he was still hearing this lovely voice saying 'I love you' in the morning, so he stopped counting. 

His finger is gently tracing Jonghyun's features not wanting to wake up the sleeping man. He watches his long eyelashes and thinks about the beautiful eyes hidden behind them. They are always looking only at him and it gives him more courage that he could hope for. He looks at his slightly parted lips and remembers