This oneshot is inspired by Song Jieun's song, False Hope. Hence, the title. :) I hope you listen to it! The song is really good and the lyrics are...well...direct to the point. :)

Happy reading! :) 

Till the next song OneShot! :)

--

Everything felt real.

That was what I am thinking right now that I am sitting on the floor, leaning on the side of my bed and crying hard while looking at some photos of me and Jongin.

His smile. It seems real. I know. His eyes say it.

I shut my eyes and leaned my head on the bed. This feeling drains all of my energy. This feeling of longing but I actually don’t have to feel that way because I am too stupid to fall for a man like him.

My friends have always told me that he doesn’t love me. He is not capable of loving. I was just like his other girls who he played with.

But can they blame me if I think – even for a split second – that he felt something for me as well? He was sweet and caring and I can’t help but fall no matter how hard I try not to.

Until this day…

I was passing by the janitor’s closet to go to the library to finish my homework before I go home when I heard some squeaks from the small closet.

I was just going to ignore the noise but then I suddenly heard someone say my name.

“Are you going to break up with Eunhae?” It was a voice of a girl. I suddenly felt nervous on the spot. I stopped and tried to listen again.

I was keeping a mental note that there are a lot Eunhae’s in the world, because when I heard it, I felt like it has something to do with Jongin. All the bad things that my friends told me about Jongin are flooding my thoughts now.

I heard someone scoff. “I’m just going to play with her a little bit more.”

I heard the girl giggle. “Why are you so fond of her, Kai?” She asked.

My heart dropped. I felt as if the world broke upon my feet and I was thrown onto the ground. Silent tears are falling from my eyes upon realizing whom the words came from.

Kim Jongin. The man that I’ve given my everything.

I can’t believe I have been defending him in front of my friends who just won’t approve us. I fought for him and fought with my friends because I was so sure that he felt something for me, too.

Well, he did. Just like how he feels for every girl he hooks up with.

I felt degraded.

I can just laugh at the words I told my friends. I was the epitome of all the stupid people in the whole world. I can’t even face them now. They were right all along.

“She’s fun to be with.” I heard Jongin reply.

I scoffed quietly as I heard him. Is this a consolation?

“I’m a lot more fun to be with.” The girl beamed.

Jongin chuckled. “I know.” He spoke. “But Eunhae’s different.”

“How is she different from all of us?” The girl asked. “Is she hard to get?” Her voice was teasing Jongin.

I heard Jongin laugh. “Hard to get?” He asked in disbelief. “Since when did a girl play hard to get with me?”

Lies.

I played hard to get with him. I wasted 3 months giving him attention when I shouldn’t in the first place. I thought that if he endured those three months and if he could wait for that long, he is really determined. Well, he is really determined. Determined to get me and my dignity.

Maybe he was thinking that banging me would boost his self-esteem up.

I shut my eyes when I remember kissing him and making love to him. Turns out I was the only one making love. He’s just satisfying his lust and needs and urges.

I’m such a dummy.

“Indeed, you’re a god!” The girl squealed and then she was by the next second.

I used all the energy I still have to stand up and runaway. I just want to go home and bawl it all out.

To which I am exactly doing.

My phone rang. It was him. Kim Jongin.

I just stared at it ring for a few times as I cried harder. How can he still have the guts to call me after going through that behind my back?

It rang for a plenty of more times but I was just staring at it.

So this is what Mom felt when she caught Dad cheating on her. I had never understood how it felt. I only knew that it hurts but I have no idea that it would hurt this much.

It hurts so much that I would choose dying than enduring the pain. That was that feeling.

I thought it hurt the most when my parents got divorced but this pain is on a different level. At least Mom and Dad cared about me and agreed about joint custody. But this, he never ever cared about me. He fed me with lies. His lies that seemed so true. His lies that sounded really good that made me believe they were true.

I really have to leave him. I don’t even think I could have the guts to look into his eyes again.

I’m ashamed of myself. I was such a fool.

My phone beeped and it was a message from Jongin.

I was shaking as I unveiled the message.

From: Jongin <3

Hey, where are you? Why aren’t you answering my calls? :( I’m worried sick, babe. Please reply to this. I love you. :*

If this was a normal day, I would feel all the butterflies in my stomach and my heart beating really fast.

But it’s not a normal day and all I can feel is disgust on him and on me. How can I be blinded with these sweet words? How is he able to send me these types of messages when he just sees me as a plaything?

I sighed to myself and turned my phone off. I can’t bring myself to talk or at least send him a message. It just doesn’t feel right. I would just make myself more stupid.

I gathered all the photos of me and Jongin and placed them in the box. I pushed the box under my the table and I plopped myself to the bed.

My eyes were heavy. I have never cried this much all of my life.

I can’t believe I would make a jerk like him make me cry like this. He doesn’t deserve a tear. Not even one tear.

I should just sleep it off…and hope that tomorrow never comes.

--

“Eunhae, Lara is on the phone.” Mom’s voice woke me up. “Aren’t you going to school?” Her voice sounded really worried.

I stirred in my sleep. “Mom, I think my body’s going to give up on me if I stood up.” I replied. “Can I just absent myself today? Tell Lara that I’m sick and I’ll see her soon.” I told her.

She sighed and nodded. “Okay, but what about Jongin who’s waiting for you downstairs?” She asked and my eyes widened.

“What is he doing here?!”

I must have sounded really wild that Mom gave me a weird look.

“He said you were not answering your calls and he was worried about you.” She told me. “Did you fight?” She asked in all concern.

I shook my head. “No, Mom.” I replied. “Just tell him to come back some other day. I don’t have the energy to talk.” I mumbled as I pulled the blanket above my head and turned my back from Mom.

I heard her sigh. “Okay. You rest all day,” she told me before I heard the door close.

I immediately pulled the blanket down and stared at the door.

If he didn’t feel something for me, then why is he here? Why is he acting like he is worried and all? He shouldn’t. He should be a jerk to me. That way, I think it wouldn’t hurt much.

I exhaled hard and looked at my phone on the table. I reached for it and turned it on.

There were a lot of messages from my friends who are asking me if I would go to class. From my work that’s asking me why I absented myself yesterday. And more from Jongin who acts really worried.

From: Jongin <3

Babe, are you home? I went to your workplace but they said you didn’t show up today. Are you sick? Please reply. T_T

Babe, are you sleeping? Reply if you read this, please. TT_TT

Babe, is something wrong? I’m worried. Why aren’t you responding? TTT_TTT

Babe, why is your phone turned off? TTTT_TTTT

Babe… TTTTTT_TTTTTT

I sighed and turned my phone