It has been a while since she last saw him. How many weeks past? Or maybe it has been a month? She lost count already. Or rather she stops hoping him to show. She knew that he had some issues with company, he kept saying that he is tired, saying that he miss his home but being a high-demand idol that time, he was forced to stay at Seoul. And finally he was sick, so sick that their parents take an action and ask the company to let him hospitalized at his hometown, Beijing.

Some days before, he insisted that they should meet. He even waited for her to finish recording to just drag her forcefully and agree to talk. She actually knew what happened with him and the company, since he always told her everything. She just put a façade in order to keep her feeling toward him buried. She knows that he will leave soon.

 “I heard you stay in Beijing for you are so sick? Why are you here now?” she brace herself to break the silence.

“I’m doing some final discussion with members and company. Actually I’m ninja-ing to be back here. So people don’t start a fuss.”

“So how is it going?” She carefully glanced to her side but she was welcomed by his bowing head. And she knows how it is actually going.

“I don’t know.” He look up and intended to steal a glance at her, instead he was surprised to found her already stare at him.

“Then, are you going to take the same thing that Kris do?” He is not sure if he is seeing right. Her crystal-like eyes are already b with tears threatening to spill.

“In any worst scenario, yes. This thing already includes my parents in it. And I can do nothing.” He wanted to hold her hands and said everything will be alright. But he can’t since it will never be alright.

“Go ahead then.” She can’t help but disappointed in him. Her tears finally spilled to her cheeks.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know that everything will turn this way.”

“You aren’t supposed to say sorry to me.” her icy-glaze voice ring to his ears. He knows that she is so disappointed.

“I hope everything will be alright for you soon. And people will hurt no more.” She gets up from the sofa and heading to the door but he was faster and blocking her from going anywhere.

“I know that it disappointed you so much. I know Hyun. But I’m hurt too. A larger part of me still wants to stay here, with members work to our dreams, with fans to show how grateful we are, and with you to show how much I admire you.”

His last sentence is enough to make her heart fell. She bit her lips, held the sobs that threatening to out. She remembers the times that he always looks out for her, surprisingly take care of her from afar. His smile when she caught him staring at her direction. And his supportive pat whenever she was tired and down.

“Stop hurting me Han, you keep saying sweet things that keep my heart hoping, but I know soon you will be everywhere but here. You keep saying that you like me, care for me but you no longer will be around me to hold my hand when I fall and all. Just stop it.” She finally sobs. Her shoulders going up and down vigorously for she sobs hard.

“I always like you Hyun. I will always tell you that you are gorgeous even when I’m not around. And I know everyone will always take care of you so without me it doesn’t matter.” But the things just make Seohyun sad. He just said it lightly, like it never had any effect for her heart.

“I know you will finally found your man. But someday I will be back here and tell you that I love you, that I deserve to have your heart too.”

“Don’t say it lightly like that! Do care for my feeling too!!” she finally bursts. She pushes him hard, and closed the door with a loud bang.

The latter just starred at the door sadly, hung his head low and a stream of tears finally escape from his deer-like eyes.

She kept going everywhere with her sisters, jumble up with people and try not to stay alone. His face keeps appearing in her mind, and she keeps pushing that mind away. A part of her feels guilty for not letting him know how her true feeling until the end.

“In the end I should move on. He no longer here and it will make everything easier Joohyun ah.” She said to herself as putting make up on her flawless face. She’s been busy with preparation for TTS upcoming album. And she never been so grateful that their packed schedule can lessen the intensity of imagination of him appears.

I already reach Beijing.

I want to see you once again but I guess you are so busy.

So let’s meet someday soon.

Ps. I already miss you.

She tightens the grip on her smartphone upon reading his text. Her heart clenched. The wall that she already built just shattered.

“Why you did this to me?”

So everyone already knew that SM is a mess this year. I will include some of the issues to this story, but since I don't know How are they really happened so in this story those thing will happened as how I imagine it to be happened. So don't take those thing seriously.

also, I intended not to make the story exactly like the lyrics, I will only take the story from that song and write it on my own imagination :)

I hope you all enjoy the story. Please do comment, subscribe and vote hehehe

ps. I miss Luhan. I miss SH moment :(