A couple hours later Jonghyun and Key were sitting in Jonghyun's back yard, an empty tub of vanilla ice-cream sitting on the grass between them. The sun was setting and there was a cool breeze running through, ruffling their hair and creating a pleasant atmosphere.

The day was turning out to be a very long but enjoyable one. After leaving Key's house, they'd gone to the store and picked up some ice-cream and some other not-so-healthy snacks.

They'd nearly missed dinner, having a little too much fun at the store (they nearly got kicked out because of their little shopping cart joyrides), but they managed to make it home right on time. The second they stepped through the door, Sodam got a hold of Key and nearly cut off his oxygen supply with her bone crushing hug. She ruffled his hair and mumbled something about knowing that he'd always turn out taller than Jonghyun. She may have thrown in a marriage proposal, much to Jonghyun's irritation, babbling on about how handsome Key had become.

Dinner was a lot more pleasant than he had anticipated, Jonghyun's dad making good conversation. Mr. Kim had always had a soft spot for Kibum, treating him as if he was his own son. Jonghyun always loved to see their interactions, happy about how easily they got along. Jonghyun had his suspicions that both his parents knew about the feelings he had for Key, but he was thankful that neither seemed to object.

"Do you have any plans for us this weekend?" Key was the first to break the silence, and Jonghyun was quite glad for it. His thoughts may have been drifting a little too far into a future where they'd hold hands under the kitchen table as they had dinner with his parents.

"Oh, um- I actually don't have anything major planned. I want to go to the park, though."

"I'm not letting you take your guitar." Key's response came out sounding a tad bitter, but Jonghyun couldn't blame him. They had gone to the park a few weeks prior and it hadn't turned into a very pleasant experience for either of them.

Jonghyun had taken his guitar and whipped it out to play a nice song by the fountain after a while of just sitting there and people-watching. Before the first song was even over, there was a small crowd surrounding them and it was all becoming a little too uncomfortable for Kibum.

He stood up form his spot next to Jonghyun on the side of the fountain and wove through the small crowd to sit on an empty bench elsewhere. He had to admit, he was considerably pissed that it took Jonghyun nearly fifteen minutes to go after him. Call him selfish, but Kibum didn't want his Jonghyun time to be interrupted by a horde of swooning girls and ahjummas. Jonghyun had apologized (giant puppy eyes and all) and bought him shaved ice with the money that had been tossed into his guitar case.

As nice as the day had turned out to be after they left the park, neither of them wanted to repeat that situation. The only thing Jonghyun had in mind for their day at the park was a walk, but things could change.

"Alright," Jonghyun chuckled, "no guitar."

"And you're not allowed to sing."

"Now that's just unfair."

~*~

Jonghyun couldn't help but look at Key's reflection in the mirror as they brushed their teeth that night.

After they came inside, they'd spent most of the evening playing Mario Kart and Mortal Kombat while lazing around on Jonghyun's bed and eating an unhealthy amount of chips and gummy bears. It had gotten quite intense, their skills almost a perfect match on both games, but Key seemed to have won the most rounds although Jonghyun swore it was a tie.

Key's reflection looked quite a bit sleepy. He was lazily brushing his teeth, his hair flopping into his tired eyes. Jonghyun was sure he had been staring at the pajama clad Key for far too long, but the younger hadn't seemed to notice.

He had to admit, his current sleepy state was quite cute.

As Jonghyun finished up, he caught Key sawing just a little and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Hurry up and lets get to bed, you're already falling asleep." Jonghyun resisted the urge to reach over and sweep the blond locks away from Key's eyes as he turned to look at him.

~*~

After a while, Key stepped into the room and glanced disapprovingly at Jonghyun who was already laying on the left side of the bed. "You're on my side."

"Your side? Last time I checked this whole bed is 'my side'." Jonghyun childishly stuck his tongue out at Key, feeling quite a bit mischievous. Maybe he could have some fun before falling asleep.

"Move," Key said menacingly, "I'll go easy on you if you do."

Jonghyun only snuggled deeper into the blankets in response, not bothering to look back at Key.

That pissed Key off considerably. All he wanted to do was sleep, yet there Jonghyun was, making his life difficult.

"I swear to god, I will suffocate you with a pillow and throw your lifeless body off the bed if you don't move right now." Key was stifling a yawn in the middle of his sentence, so Jonghyun found his threat a lot more cute than it was intended to be. He only hid his small smile in the blankets as he waited for Kibum to make his move.

Key nudged his shoulder and hoped Jonghyun would at least roll over, but he didn't budge. If he had any more strength left in him, Key would've dragged Jonghyun off the bed and claimed his rightful spot.

But, alas, he was weak with sleep.

He yawned again and settled for the next best option when Jonghyun didn't even shift after what seemed like an eternity.

He lifted the covers from the edge of the bed and slipped under them, shuffling close to Jonghyun to keep himself from falling off the bed. Jonghyun had stiffened at the younger's proximity, but quickly relaxed as he felt the comfortable warmth coming from him.

He was so close Jonghyun could smell his coconut shampoo and he didn't know what his fingers were itching to do more: scribble down some overly cheesy lyrics for a song or run them through Key's hair. 

He also thought about draping an arm over him, but that could possibly lead to a lot of cuddling and Jonghyun wasn't quite sure if he could deal with having Key in his arms for the second time that day.

"Are you really going to stay like that just because you want the left side?"

"No because you're going to scoot over and let me sleep on the left side."

~*~

Jonghyun did end up scooting over and leaving the left side of the bed for Key, but only after a lot of whining an poking Jonghyun's chest until his resolve broke.

Kibum was now comfortable on the left side of the bed, but he was no longer sleepy. All would've been well if Jonghyun hadn't fallen asleep more than ten minutes ago. Hell, things would've been better if Jonghyun had fallen asleep facing away from Key.

But there he was, a mess of hair on his pillow and across his forehead. His eyes were closed lightly, eyelashes casting shadows onto his cheeks because of the window at the head of the bed. The moonlight wasn't harsh, it bathed the room in a dark gray rather than black.

Jonghyun's lips were slightly parted, and Key couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss them.

He was only looking at Jonghyun and his heart was already hammering in his chest. He didn't have the courage to actually tell him and have his words change things, but he felt the need to say it out loud.

"I'm in love with you, Jonghyun..."

His heart didn't seem to slow after the words left his lips, but it did start to ache. He knew there was a chance that they could be together, but he wasn't sure if it was worth putting their friendship on the line.

Sure, he was in love with Jonghyun, but it went so much deeper than that. Jonghyun had been next to Kibum his whole life. He was a huge part of it and he didn't know what he would do if he were to step out of his life for good.

Loving Jonghyun was just so different from being in love with him, and Kibum didn't know which love would be the the best for the both of them. Going past friendship could potentially end everything.

If it turned out not to work, Kibum was just scared that Jonghyun wouldn't want him anymore. The more rational part of himself was telling him to give Jonghyun more credit, but there was a self conscious part of him that really didn't think he was good enough for the elder. Maybe he deserved someone better. Someone who could actually have children with, someone who didn't have the issues Kibum did, someone he could go anywhere with and not be judged. There was love between them, but was it worth letting go of one that could potentially end in a catastrophe in favor of preserving another that was sure to last?

Key fell asleep with those same thoughts swirling around in his head much, much later.

~*~

The next morning, he woke up pressed against something warm. It was a nice feeling and he wasn't sure he was ready to let go of it. He snuggled closer, knowing he was snuggling closer to Jonghyun, but he couldn't bring himself to care in his drunk-with-sleep state.

A hand traced circles on his lower back and a soft whisper came a little afterward. "Comfortable, Kibummie?"

"Shut up and let me pretend I'm not cuddling with you," the hand on his lower back seemed to be sending electric shocks throughout his whole body, scaring away any traces of sleep that remained.

If Kibum was being honest with himself, he would admit that he was scared of opening his eyes because he knew Jonghyun would be right there. But that morning seemed to be becoming a morning of pretending, so he blamed it on not wanting the sun in his eyes.

They stayed like that for a while, everything quiet save for the sound of their breathing.

But when Key finally opened his eyes, was met with Jonghyun's and they seemed to erase all of his thoughts from the previous night.

With the way Jonghyun was looking at him, he had to have a chance- they had to have a chance.

He just wasn't sure how they'd get the chance just yet.

"Sodam came in just a while ago, breakfast is ready. We should go down soon..." Jonghyun's voice was just above a whisper, careful enough not to disturb the moment.

Either way, Key couldn't help give out a mortified groan at the thought of Jonghyun's sister walking in on them clinging to each other as they were.

~*~

Breakfast wasn't as awkward as Key expected it to be, although Sodam kept sneaking glances at him with an all-knowing smile that he felt eager to wipe off her face. Jonghyun on the other hand, happily munched on his breakfast next to Key-- oblivious to the exchange between him and Sodam.

Jonghyun still wasn't even sure if his plans for the day, but he had a vague idea of what it would consist of. 

After breakfast, he grabbed a change of clothes and made sure that there was nothing weird Key could find in his room while he was in the shower. He had made sure to keep the t-shirt he had selected out of Key's view and at the mean time hoped that he wouldn't dig around in his bag and find the matching shirt at the bottom. 

Key turned in Jonghyun's desk chair when he heard the creek of Jonghyun's door opening. "You take forever in the show-" Key gaped at the shirt Jonghyun was wearing, unable to continue his sentence.

"Wow- um, you still wear it?" Key looked over the shirt, not missing how the cut off sleeves of the shirt showed off Jonghyun's muscles. 

A wave of different emotions washed over Key when he saw his best friend standing there with the old shirt. He felt nostalgia because that shirt brought back some good memories of when things were a lot less complicated, but also guilt  because, although it was still Jonghyun and it was still the same t-shirt, nothing was the same anymore. Jonghyun was a lot bigger (filling out the t-shirt a lot more than he used to), his hair was now a platinum blond, his facial features were a lot more sharp and there were thousands of other small details in his face that Key had never been able to pick up through their video calls and pictures. 

The one thing that hadn't changed seemed to be the way Jonghyun looked at him and his smile. His eyes were still too big and round, his smile still showed off sharp canines and probably too many teeth, but it was as it always had been. Key was grateful for that. The guilt within him was already constant, he didn't know how much he would feel if Jonghyun looked at him or smiled differently at him. 

After their conversation the day before, Key knew  things were no longer how they used to be, that Jonghyun had insecurities and that he had caused them. 

"One of us has to." Jonghyun chuckled at Key who was still in his pajamas. "I found yours in the back of your closet yesterday." 

"I only got that thing because you wanted it, I wasn't going to wear it and look like an idiot by myself."

"Well, today we're gonna look like idiots together because I packed it and you're going to wear it." 

"Jonghyun, no. That thing is atrocious," Key sighed and stood up from the chair, "we bought it as a joke!" Key was whining, giving Jonghyun the most disapproving look he could muster when puppy eyes were staring back at him.

"You have two options: you wear this shirt," Jonghyun rummaged through Key's bag at the corner of the room and threw it at him once he found it, "or this shirt." 

Key caught the ugly shirt and his cheeks turned a shade of pink when he saw the translucent shirt in Jonghyun's hands.

"I hate you so much, Kim Jonghyun."

~*~

Key ended up wearing the ugly shirt.

Much to his dismay, he was dragged out in public. 

It was early afternoon when Jonghyun finally managed to drag Key to the park. He still hadn't figured out what they could do, but he was sure they'd find something. Key complained about the heat for the first hour and only shut up about it when Jonghyun bought him ice-cream from a vendor. They walked around the park and then it was Jonghyun's turn to complain about not being able to bring his guitar. 

They end up sitting on a bench overlooking a pond as the sun was setting. Key doesn't remember the pond being there before he had left, and Jonghyun tells him that it wasn't. Jonghyun explains that they had only put it in about a year ago, but Key couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling that he should know that. That he should've been there to see that change being made to the park, that he should've been there to see everyone and everything in his life change. He should've seen those changes as they were happening, not off somewhere on the other side of the world trying to change something about himself.

"Everything looks so different now, I'm still getting used to it all. Sometimes I walk into the café expecting it to be the same, but then I remember it's not. It was the same thing with your room yesterday. As many times as I've been in there since I got back, I still expect the walls to be blue and your bed to be on the same wall as your door and every inch of the other walls to be covered in lame posters of groups you don't even really like. You look different, too. Everyone  does." Key sighed and leaned his shoulder on Jonghyun's. He doesn't hesitate to wrap an arm around Key.

"My mom and my dad look older, too. My mom has these tiny wrinkles around her eyes and my dad has a couple of gray hairs. I feel like I was gone a lot longer than I really was." Key's picking at the frayed ends of his shorts, taking threads off and letting the breeze take them away. 

"Minho isn't as quiet as he used to be, Taemin isn't a kid anymore, Onew's in college. Nearly everything changed but the things I wanted to change have stayed the same." Key laughs and Jonghyun thinks it sounds a little bitter.

"They didn't stay the same actually, they got so much worse."Jonghyun knew he wasn't done talking, but he sounded like he didn't want to say any more. 

"Leaving was such a bad idea, Jjong." 

Key can feel his skin burning where he's making contact with Jonghyun and his heart simply refuses to slow its pace. There's also a lump in his throat that he just can't force down. He doesn't want to keep going, but he feels like he needs to. 

"I was running away and it was stupid-- I was stupid to think that I could actually run away. Putting the distance of a whole ocean between us only made things worse, I just messed things up. I'm messing things up even more right now, but I can't even stop." Key's voice cracks at the last word and tears start to fall when Jonghyun pulls him into a tight hug. 

Jonghyun knows all too well what Key means to say without saying. His heart is aching, but there's a warmth spreading though him as he holds Key's shaking frame. He finally has some sort of confirmation about how Key feels about him. 

"Key- Kibum?" 

Finally hearing Jonghyun's voice, Key sniffles and nods his head as best he can with his head nestled into the crook of the elder's neck. Jonghyun grabs his shoulders lightly and pushes him away just enough so that he can see his face clearly-- red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Without meaning to, their eyes lock and Key feels like he's going to crumble because none of what is happening should be happening.

Jonghyun's hands are shaking as he holds on to Key's shoulders, and he can feel his heart pounding against his rib cage. His hands slide up Key's neck to hold his face on either side, stopping him from looking away from his eyes.

"Key, do you-" Jonghyun can't finish his question, but he knows he needs to ask or Key will never say it on his own.

"A-Are you-" Jonghyun was only able to stutter out the first two words before Key cuts him off.

"Yeah," it's all he can manage to say and it comes out as a shaky breath. His eyes shut tightly because he just can't look at Jonghyun anymore. A few tears get squeezed out of his eyes and the next thing he knows, there are soft lips kissing them away.  

All the strength seems to leave his body once he feels Jonghyun's lips on his, and it just feels so right. He feels light and happy and he can't remember ever feeling so complete. Jonghyun doesn't let him go for a long time after that first kiss, occasionally going back and pressing feather light kisses on his face and lips. 

The orange glow of the sunset had faded into a deep purple and Key could feel Jonghyun's hair tickling his neck when the fear started settling in. Jonghyun hadn't said anything yet, and he wasn't sure what would happen when he did say something.

"I love you, Kibum."

And just like that, the fear disappeared.

*evades all projectiles* 

I AM SO SORRY.

OTL 

I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOUR MONTHS. I PROMISE I WON'T MAKE YOU GUYS WAIT THIS LONG FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. 

Let me know what you guys think of this chapter and please don't kill me. I promise I will finish this story! I'm not one to abandon things like this!!! IT WILL GET DONE. Just be patient with me, and kindly remind me that I need to write this xD I literally just forget about it or get discouraged sometimes, and it's nice to get random comments from you guys telling me that you like the story or something like that! 

Until next time, guys! <3