Hyukjae’s face was flushed, caused by the sudden tears that rushed down his cheeks. A certain sweet memory they shared together passed by Hyukjae’s mind, but somehow it felt so hurtful that he was too scared to recall that memory again.

“Prince Hyukjae and Prince Donghae thought that nothing could break them apart. It took a lot of time to muster all the courage and they decided to tell Prince Donghae’s parents. Their relationship was becoming more serious, day by day. They were afraid of their reaction and yet, Prince Donghae and Prince Hyukjae believed in what they had; strong, powerful love for each other.”

“Umma,” Donghae muttered softly as he clasped Hyukjae’s hand.

“Appa,” he took a glance at his lover before turning his gaze to his parent. Mr and Mrs Lee were seating at the couch in the living room, resting. Since Donghae’s parents were always busy with their business and work, he barely spent time with his parents even though they lived in one roof.

Donghae and Hyukjae thought that it would be the best time to reveal their relationship to their parents. They had been friends for so long and Hyukjae spend most of his time at Donghae’s house. Donghae’s parents treated him like his own son, Donghae’s brother.

They were glad that Donghae’s parents accepted their friendship and yet, Donghae and Hyukjae weren’t sure if they could handle the truth; their relationship was beyond a mere brotherhood.

Although they already felt two pairs of curious eyes observed their linked hands as the walked to the living room, they ignored it and remained strong.

“What is it, dear?” Donghae’s mother asked, raising her eyebrow.

“I need to tell you something. No, we need to tell you something.”

“Yes?” Mr. Lee added as he looked at his trembling son.

Donghae bit his lip while Hyukjae caressed his hand gently in a comfort way as if saying that he’s there for him.

Taking a deep, needy breath, Donghae blurted out, “Umma, Appa, what I’m going to say will affect my life, our family’s life. I know this would probably be shocking for you both and I’m ready to face what ever your reaction will be. Hate me if you want but this, this thing that I will tell you has changed my life and I hope, no, I beg you to accept my decision.”

“What are you talking about?” Mr. Lee asked, his voice was stern and it made Donghae and Hyukjae even more scared, if it was even more possible.

“Me...” Donghae said softly.

“And Hyukjae...” he pulled Hyukjae closer to him.

“Are dating.”

No other sound was caught by Hyukjae’s ears afterwards except for the sound of a loud slap. Before he could even register what was happening, Mr. Lee’s voice echoed through out the house and his eyes were getting misty, hearing the middle aged man’s words.

“HOW DARE YOU, YOU-GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SON! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? INSULT ME WITH THOSE WORDS?”

Donghae had his head bowed down and his palm was placed on the cheek that his father just slapped, looking so hurt and lifeless. Mr. Lee’s eyes were blazing of anger and what hurt them more was the disgust look on the old man’s face.

“DO YOU EVEN THINK BEFORE YOU SAID IT?”

“Perhaps I don’t know what I’m doing, or maybe, I’m just being self-centred, but one thing’s for sure, I love him, Umma, Appa,” Donghae begged softly, “I really do, I love him so much and I don’t want to let him go.”

“DO YOU REALIZE WHO AM I? I AM AN OWNER OF AN ENORMOUS COMPANY, A BUSSINESSMAN! I WON’T BE ABLE TO FACE ANYBODY WHEN THEY KNOW THAT MY SON IS GAY! DON’T YOU HAVE ANY PRIDE, YOU BASTARD?”

Donghae’s father was insulting him, right in front of their faces and what surprised Hyukjae more was that the fact that Donghae’s mother didn’t even try to stop his husband. Instead, she eyed her own son disgustingly as if he’s a creature that just crawled from under the rock.

Hyukjae didn’t know what to do or say when he saw the scene that was playing in front of him but when Donghae’s father started to hit the younger man, Hyukjae impulsively stopped Mr. Lee and shielded his lover.

“STOP! PLEASE, DON’T HURT HIM!” Hyukjae shouted out, loud and clear.

There was no movement for a moment as they were too shock to respond. “You...” Mrs. Lee voiced out finally as she pointed at Hyukjae.

“IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU TURN HIM TO THIS! I TREAT YOU LIKE MY OWN SON, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? HE WAS A GOOD SON, BEFORE YOU CAME INTO HIS LIFE AND RUINED EVERYTHING!”

“I was a good son in your eyes but I was dead on the inside! Did you know? Did you notice? No one noticed, not you guys, not anybody, but him! We understand each other deeply and he loves me although he sees and knows all my imperfections. He loves me, for me, not because of my money like all the girls you introduced me to!” Donghae howled, his heart was in so much pain because of his parent’s objection.

Holding his last bit of pride, he walked away while dragging the dazed Hyukjae with him. He was one step to get out of the house but he stopped abruptly when he heard his father’s stern voice.

“TAKE ANOTHER STEP AND YOU’RE OFFICIALLY NOT MY SON ANYMORE.”

Donghae gritted his teeth at those words, holding himself from bursting into tears. He barely had a sweet moment with his parents as they were always busy with their works since he was still a child. They left him alone, letting him play by himself and he could still remember how often he used to cry everytime his parents neglected him.

At some point, he even thought that he wasn’t their son anymore. He hoped that his parents would at least understand his decision as he never voice out anything against them. 

Donghae ignored it and walked out of the house. He just chuckled at the idea that the world was always being cruel to him; he was left out, lacking of love but when he found his love by his own, his parents objected him.

“Donghae!” Hyukjae yelled out, seeking for his attention as Donghae continued on dragging him by his wrist, heading to nowhere. They were walking without having proper intention for almost half an hour.

The moment Donghae stopped walking and let go of Hyukjae’s wrist, he sank to the ground and covered his mouth with his palm. Hyukjae felt his heart break as he looked at his lover who was crying in silence, still trying to control his emotion from bursting out as his tears flowed down from his cheeks.

Hyukjae reached out for Donghae and hugged him tenderly. He the other’s back and kissed his forehead as he did so. Donghae’s sobbing became louder when Hyukjae whispered a sweet promise to his ear.

“It’s okay, Hae. It’s going to be just fine because you know what? I promise I’ll be right by your side to take care of you. I love you. I love you, my Lee Donghae.”

A trail of tear after a trail of tear rolled down Hyukjae’s cheek, wetting his already flushed face. He just couldn’t take it anymore as the pain was too unbearable for him to handle.

 It was supposed to be a meaningful and sweet memory; a promise that proves their unconditional love for each other but somehow, deep, inside they both knew that it will be nothing more than just another comforting words.

He burst out with tears as he kissed Donghae’s hand that he was gripping and buried his face onto the soft mattress. His loud groan turned into muffled noise as he clutched on the younger’s hand. He didn’t want to look weak because Donghae’s there and yet, his effort seemed worthless.

“Hyukkie...”

The soft voice from Donghae made him stiffen a little. Hyukjae kept his mouth shut.

“Hyukkie...”

Hyukjae tighten his grip with his face still buried onto the mattress. He didn’t want to see his lover’s expression, his attractive brown orbs and if it was possible, he didn’t even want to hear Donghae’s voice, calling his name weakly because he didn’t want to hurt the other more, seeing him in this condition.

“Please, Hyukjae, let me go,”

Those five words shattered Hyukjae’s heart, breaking it without mercy. The older guy felt as if he had lost his tongue that the only thing he was able to do was shaking his head lightly. His grip on Donghae’s hand tighten each time he sobbed hard. Donghae returned the grip tightly, as if telling Hyukjae that he was okay.

“Please...I want to see you happy, Hyukkie, even if that means I have to let you go, I will,”

This time, Hyukjae shook his head vigorously while still keeping his mouth shut tightly. He couldn’t understand why the younger man was still stubborn although Hyukjae insisted. Happy? What does he meant by happy? Being happy without his lover by his side? Hyukjae didn’t even want to imagine how it would be like.

“Please...Hyukjae, I love you and if you love me too, please,”

Hearing his lover soft plead, Hyukjae was in an agony; whether to cling onto him and ask him not to say such things, or let Donghae go to comfort him on how much he loves him. He knew that he was being selfish, but he needs him, more than anyone or even himself, could imagine. He didn’t want to hurt him, of course, and yet, preventing him from going also means that he’s hurting him, physically and mentally.  He had to decide, although he knew that his decision would rip their hearts.

Taking a deep breath, Hyukjae cleared out his thought to focus his heart on saying one, simple, yet, hurtful sentence.

I’ m letting you go Donghae, not because I’m intended to hurt you, but because I love you so much that I don’t want you to get hurt

Hyukjae gasped when Donghae’s grip on his hand loosened, but he remained calm. He stood up weakly while avoiding Donghae’s face from his view without letting go of the younger man’s hand. He didn’t want to see him, not even a glance because he’s terrified, terrified of the reality.

Gently, Hyukjae placed his head on Donghae’s chest to hear his heartbeat. Although, the evidence was clear, he still didn’t want to believe it.

Why aren’t your heart beating, Hae? You said your heart beats for me, only for me

Biting his lip to the point it was almost bleeding in order to hold back his tears, Hyukjae gathered his strength only to look at his lover who was laying on the hospital’s bed. His eyes observed every inch of the younger man, knowing that he won’t be able to look at him without shedding tears anymore after he step out of the hospital’s room.

Donghae’s face was no longer bright and cheerful, but he looked happy, perhaps, because his lover was by his side when he was dying.

He would no longer hear his Donghae bounce in joy when he’s excited and smiles with that charming smile of his that always make Hyukjae forget all his burden and worries, no more.

No more.

He wanted to yell madly, scream his lungs out but he simply couldn’t. Rather than crying or howling, Hyukjae took a step closer to the younger man. With eyes closed, he let his lips met Donghae’s tenderly.

Yes, he’s kissing a lifeless person, a dead man, but this man was the same man who shines his world, his life, the same man who was always be by his side. Donghae loves him when he thought that no one could see the real him, no one love him, so what’s there to waste, kissing a dead man who brings out his life?

Hyukjae’s kiss was an innocent but a pure one, a hint of love was very clear. In fact, it stood out than the rest of the emotion he was feeling; sad, lost and helpless. Hyukjae kissed the unresponsive one with a single whisper of Donghae’s voice echoed through out his mind.

Hyukkie ah, when I die, promise me that you’ll give me a magical kiss so that I can wake up again, just like in those happy ending fairytales

Another tear escaped the corner of his eyes and he instantly pulled off and walked out of the hospital’s room without taking another glance.