For you the one who keep nagging at me to post this story.. well yeah this is it~ lol no need to mention lah ya, you know yourself :D

enjoy all~

 

Clean Slate

 

“Breaking news! CEO of Blanc & Eclare found unconscious in her apartment”

I heard the newscaster reported in TV.

“The police statement said that Ms.Jessica Jung Sooyeon founded unconscious in her own apartment by her secretary. Right now the Ceo of B&E currently was getting intensive care in Seoul international Hospital. Spoke person from B&E said that they will be held a conference regarding the CEO condition.”

I keep my attention to the TV.

“Morning” said Tiffany before giving me a peck on lips.

“What are you watching Yul?” she ask to me. I smiled to her and grab the remote to change the channel.

“Nothing just random commercial” I said to her. But she keeps staring at me not buying my words.

“hahaha.. what’s wrong Fany-ah? Come on I already prepared our breakfast.” Tiffany obeyed me and taking her sit in the dining table.

I poured glass of milk and served toast with bacon for Her.

“Are you going to studio later Yul?” she ask to me while take a sip her glass of milk.

“uhmm.. yeah I think”

“you think?”

“hmm.. I’m not sure thou.. because Taeyeon haven’t inform me” I explain to her, and Tiffany just nodded her head.

Tiffany and I have been in relationship for 3 years now and not so long ago i decided to propose her, she said yes and now she’s my fiancée. Tiffany is a great girlfriend ever! Sometimes I felt I don’t deserve her love at all, she can get a better person than me, but she still choose me, and I should feel grateful with that.

“Yul..”

“Yul!” she raising her her voice at me.

“huh what?”

“You just spacing out.. did something happen?” worried her.

“No.. no.. Lets we finish our breakfast first and how about we take Prince and Hani for walk after this?” I suggest. I don’t know what happen with myself, maybe that news affected me bit and I don’t want to make Fany worried.

 

-=-

 

 

First love.. yeah I bet everyone have their own first love. Your first love is something that you cannot forget easily, but it’s doesn’t mean you would completely closing your heart to the others. Jessica Jung, she’s my first in everything. She’s my first love, my first girlfriend and even she’s the first one who broke my heart, but oddly she still have these kind of effect on me.

For me hurting Tiffany is the last thing that I want to do. I know I’m not being honest with her right now, yeah the news about Jessica really affecting me but I don’t want her to know. Tiffany knows about my past with Jessica and because of her too finally I can move on and forget about what happen in the past.

“Yuri are you already heard about the news?” ask Taeyeon.

“uhmm.. yes” I answered.

“So?” she asked me again.

I put down my pen and stop what I’m doing. I stare at Taeyeon. I know she worried about me.

“so what? You know right her spoke person already giving the explanation”

“You not gonna take visit?”

“hahaha.. Tae I should ask the same question to you.. after all you’re her ex-teammate rite?” Taeyeon just rolling her eyes hearing my words.

“oh! Then should we take visit together?” suggest Taeyeon.

That’s not bad idea. But I feel little bit uneasy about this idea.

“it’s okay yul if you don’t want to.. I understand” said Taeyeon.

“No no no.. I’m okay with that.. it’s just..”

“Just what?”

“err.. you know right that I never meet with her since that day?” I stated and Taeyeon just nodded.

“don’t you think it’s gonna be awkward?”

Taeyeon just shaking her head and sit up from her seat walking toward me. She put her hands on my shoulder and “No Yul.. Everything gonna be okay” she giving pat on my shoulder.

“you should talk this matter with your fiancée” said Taeyeon while walking toward the door ready to leave the room. I just watch her back walking toward the door.

Suddenly Taeyeon stopped her steps and looking back at me.

“oh don’t forget to finished my songs Yul” she smirk at me then leaving the room with her ahjumma laugh.

“Dork” I mumbled.

Taeyeon, she’s my bestfriend since high school. When we are in our senior year she got debuted. She debut with a trio group, one of teammate is Jessica. From her too I get to know Jessica. Taeyeon have been 9 years being an idol, even thou her group now already disbanded but she’s still pretty much active in entertainment industry. Her other two teammates already pick their own path. Jessica decided being designer and making her own brand company, Seo Juhyun or prefer to be called Seohyun taking the same path with Taeyeon.

I open browser tab on my laptop and type certain word into the search engine then clicked the link open.

I read all the contents that website write. Yes I’m browsing about Jessica accident.

From what the reporter said, Jessica founded unconscious in her apartment by her secretary. The report from police and doctor tell that Jessica suffering from sleeping pill overdose. The media indicate for these past years Jessica already suffering from stress. After she calling off her wedding with some a business man from HK, Jessica business facing a trouble. Jessica rarely showing herself in public and always hide’s from media.

“Sica what happen to you..” I  said in low tone.

Reading the news about her make’s my heart felt so heavy. After these past year she still give this effect to me.

Drrrt.. drrrt.. drrrt..

I felt my phone vibrate throu my jeans pocket. I pick up my phone without looking the caller ID.

“hallo?”

“Yul?” that voice! I know that voice!

I stood up from my seat and I feel my mind went blank.

“Yul? A-are you still in there?” she ask in weak tone

“Y-yeah.. i-I I’m still here..” I don’t know why I’m stuttering right now.

I composed myself and take a lead this conversation.

“How are you?” I ask her softly. I hear she laugh little hearing my question. I can tell from her voice that she’s still in weak condition. Yeah.. it’s only been 3 days since that accident.

“I’m fine..” she answered. Then the line come become quiet.. No one the two of us initiate to talk.

“Yul..”

“Sica..” we said in the same time. “you first..” I said to her.

“I’m sorry..” she said in low tone but I still catch what she said. I don’t know what to respond, because its been long time.

“uhm..”

“really.. I’m so sorry” she said again with a slightly louder than before.

“I know”

“And Yul.. i-I just wanna s-said.. I miss you..” with that she cut off the line.

I still had the phone attach in my ear, my brain still comprehend what she just said.

 

-=-

 

“Welcome home Yul” Tiffany greeted me with her bright smile and her infamous eyesmiles. I smiled back and kissed her forehead.

“Why you back so late?” she ask me while take my coat.

I look into her and ruffling her hair then side hugged her. I think she sensed my weird behavior.

“okay.. I know something wrong with you Yul.. and I think I know what caused it”

I just sighed and take Tiffany into my embrace.

“Just let it out..” she said to me while caressing my back. I take a deep breath and sinking my head deeper into Tiffany neck taking her sweet scent.

“I’m sorry” I mumbled into her neck

“What are you sorry for?” her caress is so shooting.

“Jessica called me..” I confess to her. She broke away from the hug and looking straight into my eyes.

Now Tiffany takes her hand to my face and caressing my cheek softly.

“What do you feel? I guess she still had effect on you huh?” she ask me softly.. I know she’s not angry or disappointing with me. Her eyes… her eyes tell that she’s worried about me.

“I don’t know..” I answered honestly. I felt so guilty toward Fany. We are already engaged, but I still cannot throw away this kind of feeling that I still had for Sica. No! I love Fany with all my heart, Sica is already my past and Fany is my present and my future, But I hate myself for being so weak every time I faced this matter. To be the truth you can said that I’m running away from my past and yes.. I kinda run away from that.

Tiffany grabs my hand and drags me into the couch. She seated close to me with her hands still holding into me.

“Taeyeon suggesting to me to take visit Jessica tomorrow” I open the conversation.

“so what you said to her?”

 “I haven’t giving my answer yet.”

“Yul.. its okay.. no matter what you are still her friends” said Tiffany while tightening her grips. “in the time like this she need support from her friends” explained Tiffany.

I feel so grateful to have wonderful fiancée. She’s so understanding, patience and kind.

I stare into Tiffany beautiful face and smile to her, she’s smiling back to me.

“I love you fany-ah” I said out of blue.

“I know” she giggled.

“okay.. you better wash your face and change your clothes.. I already prepared dinner for us”

“you cook for us?” I .

“meannie! You know that I can’t cook Yul, of course I buy it.” She pouted. She’s looks so cute while pouting, I feel like I want to kiss that pouting lips!

“cute,hahaha..” Instead kissing her, I ruffle her hair and then walk into our bedroom.

“Yulll stop messing my hairs” she whinnied to me.

 

-=-

 

Flashback

“I want to break up Yul” said Jessica without looking into my eyes.

I can’t say any words to react, its feel like I just go mute.

I still keep quiet, not sure what I’m gonna do. I see Jessica fidgeting her finger. She’s nervous?

“why?” finally I gain my voice again.

“our relationship doesn’t work anymore Yul..” I am looking straight into her eyes hoping for some reasonable explanation. I’m not buying what she just said.and she just avoiding my stare.

“Answer me honestly sica.. did you broke up with me because of that rumor?” yeah.. There’s been rumor about Sica who wants to be out from her group to pursue her dreams. I’m aware with her dreams and I’ll support her to reach her dreams but the other rumor said that sica having relationship with a business man that turns out the major investor in her project  brand.

“No..” she answered timidly.

She lies. I know it.

“Ok..” with that I sit up and leave her alone in that coffee shop, our favorite place.

After that night I never heard about Jessica.

Past two days since that night,Jessica informing the media that she’s officially quit from the group.

“So its true” I sighed.

Taeyeon and Seohyun keep calling me since the news out.

“Taeyeon?”

“Yul? Where are you now?”

“home”

“wait I’ll be there in 15minutes” she said before cut off the phone.

I’m doing nothing while waiting for Taeyeon. I just keep staring into the ceiling and my mind seems so empty.

Not so long finally Taeyeon arrive.

“Yul” said Taeyeon while throw herself ito the couch next to me.

“ just got real! urghhh” she grumbled. I look into my right and I see Taeyeon troubled faces.

“oh! Did you still keep in touch with her??” Taeyeon asked me. It’s seems she didn’t know that I already break up with Sica.

“no” I whispered.

“Yul! Why you just sitting here doing nothing?? You know about the news right? She’s freaking cheating behind you! She’s not Jessica! I don’t even recognize her anymore!”

“we already broke up..” I said to her and get up from the couch and walk into the kitchen.

“WHAT ??” Shouted Taeyeon

“since when ?? why you not telling me??” now Taeyeon already behind my back. I grab two cans of beer from fridge.

And then I walk into the living room with Taeyeon trailing behind my back.

“Yul”

“2 days ago” I said to Taeyeon before take a gulp my beer.

“I know it! She’s being so off for these past weeks and I never expected her to be broke up with You Yul”.

I just stare into my can beers and keep quiet. I don’t know what to do.

That night when we broke up is the last day I meet with her. I try to understand her decision but I failed, I felt so betrayed and dejected.

End flashback

 

“so how’s your with fany?” ask Taeyeon while keep focus on the road. Yeah..  two of us now on the way to hospital which Jessica admitted at.

“never been better”

Taeyeon take a glance to me and smile “you must cherish her Yul, or not I’ll snatch her away from you” she then smirking.

“yah midget!” I’m warning her.

“hahahaha.. kidding” she laugh like ahjumma.

“hmm.. but I’m serious thou Yul..” she said seriously.

“I know” I just smiled heard Taeyeon words.

Finally we arrive to the hospital. Even after 4 days the reporter seems still stayed in the hospital to take coverage news about Jessica. When the reporter sees Taeyeon, they throw bunch of question to Taeyeon. Taeyeon only smiled to them and keep walking passing the bunch of the reporter who still try to get some words from her.

We walk into the information table and asking for Jessica room.

As we arrive in front of Jessica room, we see the two bodyguards guarding her room.

After talking with Jessica secretary finally we can get inside Jessica Room.

I see her still lying in the bed with IV drip attach in her wrist.

Jessica knows she just got a guest.

Me and Taeyeon walk nearer her bed.

“Yul..” she said in low tone.

I give her flower and put it into the table beside her bed.

Taeyeon and I both smile.

“how are you feeling sica?” ask taeyeon. Jessica trying to get up but she still looks so weak. I walk near her and help her to sit.

“I’m fine” she smiled weakly. She now look into me and looks like she not believe that its really me.

“Well I see that you’re okay now.. get well soon Sica.. don’t make your parents worried” said Taeyeon while patting Sica head, and Jessica only smiled to Taeyeon.

“okay.. I think you two need some time alone.. I’ll let you two talk.. but remember I’ll be back again” said Taeyeon while eyeing me and giving me a understanding look.

After Taeyeon leave the room, there’s only two of us in the room.

“Yuri..”

“hmm”

“I miss you” she said to me with tears b in her eyes.

She still gives this effect to me, my heart feel aching when I see her in tears.

I came close to her and shed her tears. Suddenly she grab my hands and hold it tightly.

With tears keep flowing from her eyes she stare to me.

I feel so weak right now.

“I’m sorry.. I-I I’m so s-sorry..” finally her cry is broke.

“I’m so sorry Yull.. I’m so stup-pid..” she cried.

I can’t do this.. it’s not fair!

And then without any words I hug her petite body. She’s now crying in my chest.

I can’t deny that I miss this feeling. I miss her. I miss having her in my embrace.

I try to savor this feeling the longest I can. But suddenly Tiffany images flashing in my mind.

Oh god! What am I doing? I felt guilty now.

I let go our hug and checking Jessica condition.

She’s now calming down.

After she gain her composure,  Jessica staring into me intensely.

“Stay with me Yul”

 

 

TBC