“Do me a favor please.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“Oh God, what is it?”

“Go there. Go to the place where we met.”

He looked at the latter with wide eyes, “Why the hell do you want to me to go there? Why now after all these years?”

“I need you to help me find something.”

“I’m sorry for burdening you this much, Soojung. Sorry.”

She was just about to speak but as he had already walked out, she became mum.

It was an early Thursday morning, and it could’ve been the start of something new. If she wanted it to be. It could. But no, she could only be thankful. For someone who gave her his genuine feelings, all she carried with her was an end. A thank you.

Somehow, even though she tried not to, the smallest mistakes she would indicate in a person were becoming weary.  Small mistakes that should’ve been nothing became bigger.

Her heart felt cold.

The book in front of her was no longer to her interest; it was laid down on the table, creased.

Her mind went blank.

Forcing herself to walk out and carry her books carefully, her face was stoic as she saw students around her chattering amongst themselves regarding the previous event.

The right thing for her to do was at least cry to show him that she still cared, but her tears were empty. Her limits were torturous.

Driving by the foggy road, she couldn’t help but overthink. She couldn’t help but listen to her thoughts becoming louder than the sounds and the cars around her.

The sun was already hiding behind the clouds, and she hadn’t even recognized.

Soojung drove all the way to a certain place she hasn’t been to, in years. This place carried her heaviest memories, her thickest confusions, yet her lightest laughs and her strongest emotions.

Sunchon orphanage.

As she arrived, she stared at the building in front of her and heaved a sigh. She didn’t even understand why she was where she was.

Soojung’s footsteps shook as she walked down the brown pavement to main doors.

As soon as her hand grazed the silver door handle, she blinked.

A baby girl was unconscious and sleeping, wrapped under a soft blue blanket that was in the cautious arms of a beautiful middle-aged woman in a white dress. The woman’s face was frowning as she rushed in the building.

Reminiscence the day when she was first here, she braced herself as she smiled softly.

Opening the door as it let out a creak, she ambled down the hall as she was immersed in the sight of the place. It changed so much compared to what she remembers as a small girl. The walls used to be antique and brown, the floorboards would creak and there should’ve been ancient paintings scattered allover the place. Now though, it was more modern. With comfortable sofas and more toys around the big house, it looked like 2014 painted itself allover the building.

She was happy with how successful this place was growing; it deserves to be adulated. Orphanages weren’t always scary and dull; this one was full of life.

The maids saw her enter as they scattered around her and did a polite bow.

Soojung bowed respectfully afterwards, “Hello.”

“Hello! How can we help you?” a bubbly maid spoke out first.

“Oh, it’s alright. I’d just like to visit the children.”

“Ah! They’ve actually just finished lunch. Go ahead and play with them.”

Soojung bowed gracefully again to the seven maids each until she reached the last one. One of the oldest but most loyal maids of this orphanage.

“Hyojin eonnie!”

“Huh? Oh my god. Soojung?” the maid widened her eyes as she tried to register who was standing in front of her.

“Eonnie, you’re still like a hamster. An older hamster.”

“Seriously. It really is you. You have grown so much!”

Soojung giggled and wrapped her arms around the lady, “I missed you. I remember that you were only nineteen when I first came.”

The lady hugged her back, jolly.

They walked together, chatting and telling each other what has been happening in their lives.  

Spending her time with her old friend and some really adorable children, the day went by fast and before she knew it, Soojung felt like she was home.

At one time, Hyojin had to help the other maids cook the children’s dinner, so Soojung was alone with the young bunch. She told them stories and offered to let them sit on her back and treat her like a horse. They told her their dreams and wishes, with Soojung assuring them that if they work hard, they’ll reach their dreams.

Her phone rung and she excused herself from the children as she went outside to pick up the call.

It was just Suji, asking about homework.

After the small conversation, she walked timidly to a small park not far from the orphanage. Back then, there used to just be a swing set and flowers. Now it was more upgraded with all the play equipment and the small pool with fishes.

“Soodul! Come ‘ere, there is a really pwetty park! Letsu play!” a soft and demure young boy jumped up and down as she tugged on a fragile girl’s arm.

The girl was quiet; she didn’t say anything. But she let herself be dragged and joined the latter. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and she was wearing a yellow sundress. Her eyes were full of life, even if her expression was gloomy.

Together, the boy leading, they played out their imaginations. Time passed by as the sun and their hearts had set. The young boy grabbed a baby blue rose from it’s root and placed it above her ear.

“That suits yu. Yuu look pwetty!” he giggled, making her cheeks tint red.

Then he lay down as she lay down beside him. They counted the stars in the sky and shared penniless amount of laughter. Talking in their own language as the other understood and comparing the smallest things.

After a quiet silence, the boy spoke up first. Using his best attempts.

“Suugu-Sujong-Su-Soo- Eh! Soo-twins," he laughed,"Soojong-ah."

“Soo. Jung.”

“Yeh, Jungjung-yah. Letsu be fwends forever, promiseu?”

The girl looked at the boy with a soft smile and she felt touched, no one had ever been this nice to her, “Promish.”

“Child, what’s your name?”

Soojung almost jumped as an old lady tapped her shoulder. Her question was rather straightforward but by the looks of it, she trusted that the lady would do no harm, “Uhm, Soojung. Jung Soojung.”

“Soojung?”

“Yeah.”

“Jung! It’s really you!” the ahjumma walked up to her and started to cup her cheeks, “You grew up pretty well.”

She was shocked that this stranger knew her nickname.

“Jung. How old are you now?”

“…Nineteen.”

“Really?” the old woman huffed, “It’s your last year.”

“Last year? What do you mean by last year? Ahjumma, do I know you?”

“Ah! I shouldn’t have said that. Never mind,” the old lady did a gesture as if to shove the thought away.

“Huh?”

“Anyway, Jung, how is everything going on?”

“Uhm, good?”

“Anything strange?”

“I don’t think so. Not that I know of. No?”

“Oh?”

“Is there something that should be strange?”

“No! No. I didn’t mean it that way. Uhm, I’ve got to go. My grandson is probably looking for me, bye Jung-ah! Good luck!”

Soojung was about to follow after the old lady but she heard a voice call out her name from behind.

“Soojung!”

She squinted to see her friend standing on the steps of the entrance door. Her ears were starting to get strained after constantly hearing her name.

“Kris?”

“Yeah it’s me,” he spoke coolly, his hands in his pockets as he was chewing on something.

“Oh hello.”

“Hello. Who was that oldie?”

“Yah, don’t be rude.”

“Pft.”

“I actually don’t know who she is.” Soojung had a fuzzy memory, but she felt somehow connected to the lady she had just encountered. Although her past was too messy to remember, she could still catch on to the bits and pieces.

“Ah kay. So what are you doing here, anyway?”

“I could ask the same thing.”

He chuckled, “Right. I’m just… helping out.”

“You and help? In the same sentence? Wow.”

“Hey, I’m not as bad as you think.”

“As if,” Soojung scoffed, sniggering. Yifan wasn’t – couldn't possibly be – that type of guy.

“I’m serious. I’m not.”

“Okay then. Let’s go in.”

“You’re staying?”

“I guess so, why?”

“I got somewhere I need to go and I was going to hitch a ride. My car is in service. I thought that I’d ask you, but never mind bro,” Yifan shrugged and walked off, “Bye.”

“Wait, you can go with me if you want. But just wait for a bit okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Soojung went back in the building for a while and did a few farewells to the maids and the children. They were all pleading her to stay and it hurt her heart to see them like that, but she eventually walked back out promising that she’ll come back soon.

On her way out, Soojung passed a room and gritted her teeth.

A young girl walked by with her teary eyes wide. She passed a room that had a cross sign underneath the peephole; it was the nurse’s office. Where people would treat the sick.

The girl peeked in to see her only friend on the bed shrieking and gasping in pain.

He was coughing out blood and clutching his hair.

He was in agony.

And it hurt her to see him like this.

Suddenly he stopped struggling, and lay still.

Soojung shook her head harshly and rubbed her eyes. Looking away and walking faster, back out. She bit her lips as she threatened to herself that if she cries over that again, she’s betraying his feelings.

She felt selfish.

She started to run back to Yifan and suddenly grasped and hugged him tight; ignoring the latter’s looks of confusion.

“Sorry. Heh. Let’s go.”

Yifan didn’t say anything as he simply followed her, he was used to her random outbursts.

As there were both in the car, a figure had just arrived at the doors of the orphanage and looked back. The person suddenly fell to the ground.

Soojung started the car engine and knew where to take Yifan to, without asking. It wasn’t like he’d go anywhere else. She was the only one, who knew of Yifan’s secret. 

“So, how was your day?”

“Like every other.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he scoffed, knowing her too well.

“What?”

“You don’t go to that orphanage like every other day.”

“I guess so?”

“Just tell me, what happened?”

Soojung steered to the right side of the road and stopped, looking wide-eyed at Yifan. “Zitao confessed to me today.”