THE RESET

[ɹiːˈsɛt; Eng
1. To set back to the initial state.
2. To set to zero.
3. To adjust again after an initial failure.]

Jongdae returned from Kyungsoo’s room dejectedly, carrying the same bowl of fruits and roasted mushroom in his hand, still untouched. Some of its contents spilled on the table when he smashed it harder than intended, and for a second, there was a fleeting regret in his eyes. He tried to clean the bowl back but Baekhyun waved him stop.

“Leave it. It’s not like we don’t have enough food here.” Like everything else, even their food storage wasn’t free of The Reset.

Jongdae sighed in slight disagreement but he didn’t do anything against Baekhyun’s wish. His light had been dimming ever since Kyungsoo began to shut himself in, his mood foul, and Jongdae didn’t really want to pour oil onto the burning fire.

“Can’t we do anything about Kyungsoo? It’s been days since he had anything but water. I mean…” Jongdae scratched his hand. “He’s not exactly in the loop, isn’t he? I saw him shave the other day. If he’s not resistant to hair growth, then he’s not impervious of sickness, isn’t he?"

Chanyeol sighed. He looked tired and worn out since he remained in his Mature Form for days. Kyungsoo always refused to even look at them in their Natural Form, and Chanyeol had always been the one who would volunteer to talk or bring stuff to him. He stood up, sticking his hands in his pocket.

“I’ll talk to him,” he said, his voice deep and somber. “This time, I will make sure he’ll listen.”





Kyungsoo was still curled up in his bed, the exact same position he had when Chanyeol left him earlier this morning. He lifted his gaze only slightly before closing his eyes once again, a small sob escaping but loud enough for Chanyeol to hear. He hadn’t stopped crying for days; his eyes were puffy and red, cheeks hollow from sleepless nights. He said nothing but he is obviously being haunted by the worst of his memory.

Chanyeol sat by his side, resting his hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, and his friend flinched at his touch. “Kyungsoo, I know this is a lot to hear, but please...you can’t stay like this.” He said gently, while Kyungsoo’s arm in slow, steady rhythm that matched their breathing. “It’s painful, I know. But I have to ask you to think about us, too. You’re not the only one suffering. Can you imagine us living with the memory of the Reset day in our heads? Can you imagine Baekhyun’s feeling to lose Jongin? You remember Jongin, don’t you? Can you… can you at least understand as much?”

Kyungsoo shifted so that he’s lying on his back, Chanyeol’s hand on his chest. “How could I have lived without remembering any of this? How can you—” He choked.

Chanyeol offered him a smile, before lying down spooning Kyungsoo, as if gauging his friend’s reaction. “It’s not your fault, really,” Chanyeol said as he began carding his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair. “Everything was catastrophic that day.”

Kyungsoo continued to cry for another while and Chanyeol allowed him some uninterrupted time to himself until he had calmed down. “Tell me…,” Kyungsoo began, mumbling his words in between subsiding sobs. “Tell me everything about that day. Please? I remember flashes, fragments...but that’s all to it. I need to know, too, about our life—before.”

Chanyeol sighed because recollecting the memory would be painful for him, too, but he couldn’t deny Kyungsoo’s right for the truth. He adjusted into a more comfortable position, propping his back on a pillow against the wall as he pulled Kyungsoo into a hug.

“There were twelve of us,” Chanyeol began. “We stayed together and traveled to so many place for the longest time, that none of us remembered how we met or where we came from. But it was Junmyeon who brought us together.”

“I remember Junmyeon," Kyungsoo said. "He was the one who scolded all of you for picking on me.”

“Yeah, that was him," Chanyeol laughed apologetically when Kyungsoo pointed it out. “You were the smallest ever since we were children.”

“We...we weren’t always children forever, were we?” Kyungsoo asked. “I remember Jongdae falling in love with a girl from the village and spending his days to stare at her from afar. I also remembered that you—” Kyungsoo blushed. Some of the most vivid memories that he managed to recall by himself was those that consist of him and Chanyeol only. That time, he could especially remember those parts where Chanyeol pinned him under the tree and bent down to kiss him. "That you... uh, you were k-kissing me. The first time you...kissed me. Under the tree," he mumbled shyly.

“Oh...that,” Chanyeol momentarily pulled his hand away in embarrassment. There was an awkward chuckle before Chanyeol sighed. “Yeah, that happened too.”

There were others fragments, actually, of him and Chanyeol together. But Kyungsoo couldn't bring himself talking about it, because they spoke of them in various degrees of intimacy and they make him feel awkward. They were images of Chanyeol's hair, long and swept over Kyungsoo's chest, his fingertips digging into his hips. He remembered Chanyeol lying on top of him, his hands around him. They were things that Kyungsoo had only heard and never done before (or at least during the time he had spent outside The Zone as a normal human being), things that he never dare to even think about.

There was an awkward pause when as they grew aware of the closeness of their bodies. Kyungsoo’s realization of what they once were had changed the dynamics of their friendship. They became more sensitive of each other’s bodies, their heat, their scents—freshly mown grass and damp earth that of Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol’s scent of burning hearth. They both shifted at the same time, awkwardly creating a small distance between their bodies.

“We were…you know, all over each other, weren’t we?” Kyungso asked bashfully. It felt weird to speak of it when he still had to catch up with the details of the episodes he shared with Chanyeol before. And it actually broke his heart how he talked about them as if it was a thing of the past.

“I still am…crazy about you, you know,” Chanyeol whispered. There was an underlying desperation, a silent plea, in his voice. “There wasn’t a day that I didn’t wish for your return. Imagine how I felt when we met again after so long, and you forgot everything.”

Kyungsoo felt his chest tighten. Throughout the years he had been living in the Outside, he always questioned himself why he couldn’t feel any attraction towards anybody. And if he ever felt like he was close to falling, he would always be hesitant. Now, lying next to Chanyeol, although he hadn’t fully understand, he finally knew why. He couldn’t have given his heart to someone else, when Chanyeol had been claiming it all along, could he?

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo said, his hand fisted around Chanyeol’s shirt. He pulled himself closer to Chanyeol, desperately seeking for comfort—and perhaps, forgiveness—in Chanyeol’s warmth. He felt guilty pressed against his chest, for not being with them through all that had happened and for his failure to remember it all, especially Chanyeol. “I shouldn’t have left, I’m sorry.”

“I told you it’s not your fault. All of us were so scared. We panicked at the creation of The Zone. You strayed further than you should, but remember—that time, we reverted to our childhood.”

It finally dawned on him, the reason why there were no family pictures of him and his parents in his house back in Seoul, or memories that he could associate with them before he was four. His parents always said that Kyungsoo was so sickly as a child, that all they cared about was his health. In reality, he was not their real child; that he was a stray they picked by the forest, and cared for him as their own. The truth about him being adopted would have been shocking. But the past days had been too overwhelming and enlightening, something that he deemed more important to care about.

“How did it happen though--The Zone?” he asked again. “How did you guys remain inside but me?”

Chanyeol swallowed and his eyes darkened. His hesitation was apparent, as if it was such a sore subject he’d want to avoid. But Kyungsoo looked at him intently; he was serious about getting the answer and Chanyeol couldn't say no. He sighed to himself before mumbling.

"Kris left." His voice was somber, heavier. Kyungsoo noticed. “Like Jongdae, he met a girl. But in Kris’ case, he was brave enough to actually come and talk to her. She was a visitor from the country across the sea. She showed him so many wonderful new things, and when she said she was leaving, Kris wanted to follow her. But things wasn’t… it wasn’t easy, you know, for us.”

Chanyeo’s voice was shaky before he stopped, his expression showed an apparent struggle. He was right; it wasn’t easy, and Kyungsoo felt sorry for putting Chanyeol through it. Kyungsoo found himself reaching to lace their hands together, and if this would help Chanyeol get through recalling the past, they could keep their hands together. It was an honest touch. When Chanyeol smiled appreciatively as he pressed their hands against his cheek, Kyungsoo knew he'd done it right.

“We’ve lived longer than any human ever lived. We didn’t really age much and that was only because the twelve of us stayed together. Our Mana, they were like an almighty machine that protects us from anything—diseases, pain...even age. But it didn’t protect us from emotions—and that was exactly what took Kris from us. When he left, the balance was broken...”

Kyungsoo felt his hands grew cold, but he forced himself to ask. “What happened?”

“We grew old—rapidly.” Chanyeol stared at his hands as if the feeling of aging still haunted him. “In order to fill the void created by Kris, we exerted too much of our Mana, and it took toll on most of us. You have to understand that some of us were stronger than the others. Sehun was the first to... leave,"

Chanyeol trailed off, drowning his voice. Kyungsoo was aware of that fact but it didn't stop him from giving him goosebumps. Kyungsoo wasn't sure if he should be grateful for Chanyeol's euphemism; they were easier to hear, but still tearing a wound inside his heart nonetheless. He was looking into Chanyeol's eyes, and somehow he just knew that Chanyeol must had even the tiniest of hope--hope that sometime, whenever it might be, they will come back. It hurt more because somehow Kyungsoo hoped, too.

They exchanged empty glances before Chanyeol continued. "He... left because his wind was the closest to Kris' power. Jongin was next. He used too much of his Mana to search for and persuade Kris. Baekhyun was broken when Jongin returned, because it was the last time...we saw him alive. They were together, if you remember.”

Kyungsoo nodded; how could he not? Baekhyun used to be so jealous of him for having Chanyeol around, until the day they met Jongin—the bright smiled vagabond who trespassed the boundaries of space with only a flick of his fingers. They were inseparable since then, as much as Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were.

“Luhan and Minseok followed him soon,” Chanyeol continued, “and after that, Junmyeon said we should do something.We were all weak and Yixing and Tao sacrificed themselves to save the four of us. They gave their powers to Junmyeon so he could create a seal to protect us. He planted it on the earth and we all helped him create The Zone. We used too much Mana that we were reverted to our Natural Form. In your case, since the seal was planted on earth, you used more Mana. You lost your memory, got thrown out of The Zone. ”

“Why…” Kyungsoo asked breathlessly with something squeezing in his chest. “Why didn’t you find me sooner.”

“We did,” Chanyeol smiled, “You just didn’t remember. You visited us once or twice a year...wandering like a lost boy at the edge of the forest, and we would come to you. We played together, but none of us brought the topic since you seemed to forget, and you were so small. We tried, though, to talk to you about it, when you were twelve, but maybe you weren’t ready, because you started to move the earth to swallow us down, accusing us for lying, and we had to knock you down.”

So that was what happened, Kyungsoo thought, finally having all the conundrums in his life answered. Everything made sense now, after all the pieces of the puzzle fell in its place, and the loose ends were tied. He felt suddenly exhausted; the days that he spent without food and proper rest had finally taken a toll on him.

“Chanyeol,” he shifted closer. Chanyeol’s body was always warm, and somehow Kyungsoo felt especially cold at the moment, “do you ever think of how your life would be if...you know, you weren’t trapped in The Loop?”

“I’ve thought about it so many times.” Chanyeol sighed, pressing his cheek against the crown of Kyungsoo’s head, “I imagine how it feels like to live normal too, you know, without my Mana or everything. It sure is tiring to live for so long, especially with so many memories that I wish I can forget. Sometimes, I felt so angry and sad that—” he paused, hesitating, “that I tried to—end it...in so many ways. I know that Baekhyun and Jongdae ever tried too. But at the end of the day, The Reset would restore me.”

“Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo pulled himself up that their face were level, “please don’t ever try it again…”

“I won’t, not anymore, Kyungsoo. Now that I’ve found you.” Chanyeol rolled, bringing Kyungsoo along with him that they were now in reversed position; Kyungsoo was on his back on the bed, and Chanyeol above him. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here, and you’re remember. That’s all we need.”

Kyungsoo felt his heart grew warm when Chanyeol’s hands tightened around his. The pain of having back all the memories of the tragedy was still there, lurking in his mind, ready to jump out and haunt him whenever he would close his eyes. He knew it wasn’t going away anytime soon, but for the first time, he felt complete. He felt ironically happy of no longer having to live with questions he couldn’t answer, and miseries he couldn’t understand.

Chanyeol, too, might have to wait for another while, for Kyungsoo to absorb the new light in their relationship. Kyungsoo knew that it would call for hard work and effort, but it wasn’t something that he felt reluctant about. Because he was no longer alone. Because finally, he belonged somewhere—tosomeone—to Chanyeol.





It had been a rough time for all of them; Kyungsoo went out of his room, and judging from his look, Baekhyun and Jongdae knew that Chanyeol had told him everything. They spent some times huddling together, the four of them, and cried out the years of grief they had kept inside.

They brought Kyungsoo to visit their friends’ grave the next day. Kyungsoo felt like he had cried enough for a lifetime already, but he still couldn’t hold back his tears before the sight of seven graves, humbly marked with planks, each with their friends’ name burnt on it. For the first time, Kyungsoo tried to use his Mana; he summoned seven pieces of stone, and—with Jongdae’s help—craved them into seven identical headstones to replace the planks.

They walked home quietly, their expression somber, but for the first time ever since they entered The Loop, they no longer feel cursed or trapped inside the protection their deceased friend had put them in.

“I need to go back to the town.”

Kyungsoo broke the news on the breakfast table few days after. Three heads looked up from their bowl and choked on the food, and Kyungsoo avoid their gaze in guilt.

“I know I’m selfish.” he whispered, “We’ve just reunited after so long and all, but...I have a life outside—somehow. My parents must be worried because I left them for so long, although I’m still sending them text whenever I could. Their replies have been more and more urgent and demanding, and they said they would send a rescue team to the forest if I’m not coming home soon.”

Jongdae and Baekhyun exchanged nervous glances, but refrained themselves from saying anything, and silently allowed Chanyeol to make decisions for them. After all, Kyungsoo’s departure would affect him the most. Kyungsoo became aware of his friends’ stance, and focused on Chanyeol. He took his boyfriend’s hand, and squeezed it gently.

“Chanyeol, I promise I will return. I swear in the name of my Mana.”

Chanyeol nodded, although he still refused to meet Kyungsoo’s gaze. “I understand. It’s just that—I wish we could have stayed together longer.”

“We will…” Kyungsoo smiled, “but not now. You know I have to do this right? Besides…” Kyungsoo glanced at his friends nervously, “I...plan to find Kris.”

The statement managed to grab his friends’ attention. The activity around the table stopped at once, and all eyes were staring at Kyungsoo.

“What for?” Baekhyun said bitterly, “his return will not bring back our friends. Nor will it help us to forget.”

“I know that...what I’m going to propose might sound crazy to you. But I’ve been thinking…” Kyungsoo hesitated, “Chanyeol told me that...everything began when Kris left, right? What if we could end it with him as well?”

“You mean…” Baekhyun asked carefully, “we should kill him?”

Kyungsoo gaped, “No! God, of course not!” he laughed nervously, noticing the faint excitement in Baekhyun’s eyes, “It’s uhh...well, Chanyeol told me that Mana returns to the earth when its vessel dies, right? Then how about if I summon our friends’ Mana, and with Kris being here, that will make us twelve. Is it possible?”

“That’s…not entirely impossible.”Jongdae said carefully. “I mean, we can try it out.”

“But then it means that you will no longer be immortal.” Kyungsoo added quickly. “I mean, it can only works in The Zone, right? And with The Zone being gone—“

He didn’t manage to finish his words, because Baekhyun quickly cut him off. “Kyungsoo, after all the years, really…I’m grateful to our friends’ effort, but I—I just wish to continue my life as a normal person. I’m tired…we’re tired.” Baekhyun ended in whisper, followed by Chanyeol’s and Jongdae’s nodded. "My concern is that it probably will do you harm…I mean, summoning such amount of Mana—it can’t be an easy task.”

Kyungsoo shrugged. “I’m not worried,” he smiled, staring deeply into his lifetime friends’ eyes, “I have you guys with me."