Колыбельная
(Kolibel’naya; Russian), Lullaby
 

The dark, heavy cloud that hung low this morning turned into hard rain as soon as Kyungsoo disembarked from the ferry that brought him to the island. His raincoat was puny under the sharp droplets, and he felt chilled to the bones in no time. He sighed in relief as his mother called him toward a car that turned out to be his uncle's. After the compulsory greetings and bone-crushing hug, he happily tossed his backpack into the luggage compartment of the old Ford Ranger, and jumped into the passenger’s seat as he was instructed.

The trip to his grandfather’s house wasn’t long but it gave Kyungsoo enough narrative of what he missed during the years since the last time he visited the island. The pier was still bustling mostly with fishing boats, but the fishermen were older than he recalled. Houses were the same plain squares squeezed closely one another at the valley that was the only inhabited area of the island, but now they were painted in an assortments of colors. Apart from meager touch of life-improving technology here and there, the town was pretty much the same.

The knowledge somehow gave Kyungsoo a sense of assurance; that no matter how long he had been away, the island seemed to have waited for him. It was unfortunate that the reason of his first visit after almost a decade was his grandfather’s funeral. However, Kyungsoo was glad that he came; for him, it always felt more like home here in the remote island at the southernmost part of Korean peninsula than Seoul.

Later that night, when his mother checked on him after the preparations for his Grandfather’s funeral the next day, Kyungsoo casually asked her.

“Mom,” He called. “Didn’t we used to go here every summer when I was a kid? How come we never came again these years?”

His mother sighed, keeping her attention on the pile of clothes she unpacked from the luggage. “Didn’t you say this place bores you?”

“I did?” Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows. He couldn’t recall ever making such statement.

"You told your father you wanted the cool, exciting places like Jeju or Hong Kong because your friends would always go there."

“I really like this place, though?” Kyungsoo mused.

He still had some questions but he refrained himself from asking more. His mother had enough matters to worry about. Trying to divert his mind back to the book he was reading, Kyungsoo found it difficult to shake the nagging feeling that there was something significant about the place he had forgotten.





Kyungsoo was restless. Despite the intense physical activity during the funeral procession, he had no proper rest yet all because of a dream.

There were whispers...wordless voices that called him. There were also shadows, formless silhouettes of colorful smokes that inflicted so much pain, but at the same time felt as warm and intimate as home. In the morning, he woke up rested, although his eyes were wet from the nagging ache at the pit of his heart.





“How long are you going to loiter around? It’s about time you return…”

It was windy that morning, the sun seemed to shine brighter, and Kyungsoo was out stocking up firewood for the kitchen when the encounter happened. He raised his gaze from the stack of wood he was piling when he saw a boy around his age perched on the stone wall behind the barn. It was strange how he wasn't aware of the boy's presence before. Kyungsoo couldn’t have been so immersed with his thought to not hear the stranger coming.

“Umm…are you talking to me?” He asked.

The stranger rolled his eyes and jumped down from the wall with catlike grace, noiselessly landing on the ground. Kyungsoo noticed that the boy’s clothes were probably something from the sixties, too old even for the island’s standard. The boy, however, paid no heed to his scrutinizing eyes, his hands kept inside the pockets of his overall while he chewed on a grass stalk.

“Chanyeol’s been missing you. It’s annoying to have to deal with his brood on a daily basis.”

“Excuse me, but—” Kyungsoo asked, confused. “Do we know each other?”

Kyungsoo watched as the boy’s expression turned sour. “Honestly, I have all eternity to stay here and answer your questions. But it will be easier if you’ll just come.”

“Come…where?” he asked dumbfoundedly. Everything just got weirder by the seconds. Also, did the boy's eyes just glow?

“Where else?” The boy laughed, his face was but glimmering crescent and a set of white teeth. “To the forest, silly!”





The bizarre encounter with the strange boy left Kyungsoo’s curiosity agitated. Later that day, during a quiet lunch with his parents and uncle, he braced himself to raise the topic.

“Hey, Mom…” he called with his mouth still half full, earning a distaste look from his mother. “I used to be going out for a walk in the forest, right?”

Everyone fell noticeably silent and Kyungsoo looked around, recognizing the anxious faces of his parents and uncle.

“Did I say something wrong?”

His parents exchanged glances, not even trying to be stealthy. Their expression was of concern, but nothing came out of their mouths. Kyungsoo’s curiosity grew more but he dared not to say anything. In the end, it was his uncle who gave him an answer.

“Kyungsoo-yah, do you remember the last time you visited the island? How old were you that time?”

Kyungsoo thought about it for a second. “Around eleven or twelve, I guess?”

“That’s right.” His uncle nodded. “After that, you guys hadn’t come again, right? Have you ever wondered why?”

“Mom said I started to ask visiting more exciting places. I couldn’t recall ever saying such thing, though.” He shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, mom.”

“The thing is,” His father sighed, putting his eating utensils down in defeat. “During our last trip here, you were lost in the woods. You went missing for a couple of days, and when we found you, you weren’t in exactly prime condition. It took you a while to recover to your usual self. That was why we decided it would be better for you not to come to the island again and have Grandfather visit us in Seoul instead.”

Kyungsoo almost couldn’t believe what he heard. He absolutely had no recollection of being lost or sick. The only memories he could associate with his trips were pleasant ones which didn’t actually make sense if he took his father’s story into account. Feeling honestly confused, Kyungsoo resumed on his meal. His rice bowl was the only one that ended up empty, however, for the mood had changed since the talk about the forest brought up.





“You’ve always been a curious kid, you know,” His mother told him after breakfast the next morning.

They were visiting the wet market; Kyungsoo accompanied his mother to pick some fresh seafood for the hotpot she planned to cook for dinner. His father, whose tolerance for shopping was only as far as driving them around, was waiting at the nearby ttokpoki stall.

The sudden statement easily stole Kyungsoo’s curiosity from a basket of living clam in front of him. “What do you mean?”

HIs mother smiled at him, while her hands continued to carefully sort fresh crayfishes into a plastic bag. “What your father told you earlier last night…” She said, “the same incident actually happened almost every years. You suddenly disappeared into the forest, and went missing for a couple of days.”

His mother paused to pay the crayfish, and took him to the vegetable stall.

“We were really worried. We tried to stop you from going—using so many ways from paying the fisherman to take you sailing, or locking you up in the barn. But in the end, you always looked so sad if we stop you from going. Besides, whenever you returned, no matter how dirty you were, you always had the brightest smile. Maybe, it was jealousy...” His mother stared at a stack of persimmons, but Kyungsoo could tell that she wasn’t actually looking at them. “Because whatever you did in the forest seemed to make you happier than anything we could have done for you.”

“Mom,” Kyungsoo felt his guilt arose, “It’s not like that—”

His mother shushed him, “We know. You’ve always been so keen to make us happy and proud of you. Even as a child you have more conscience than that of our neighbor’s teenage daughter. We’ve never doubted you. But please understand that as parents, it’s our right to be irrational toward our beloved son. Especially when the last time you went into the forest, you practically returned as someone else. It took us years, remember, until we could go back to our normal life. Your dad even came as far as changing job so he could spend more time with you.”

Kyungsoo was torn. He wanted to understand his parents, to avoid doing something that might hurt them. But the force that pulled him so strong, Kyungsoo almost literally could feel the constant tug at the center of his stomach, the forest to be the center of his gravity. There was no way that Kyungsoo could dismiss it as something ordinary.

“Dad, Mom, I’m sorry, but...I think...I will take a walk into the woods tomorrow.” Kyungsoo said,

His eyes carefully observing any change in expression on the elders’ faces. Kyungsoo felt like talking only to his parents. That was why he brought up the topic when they stopped at the ttokpoki stall to pick up his father.

Having said everything before, his mother only released a long, heavy sigh. She absentmindedly ate pieces of rice cake, her gaze was on the crowd. His father on the other hand, recognizing the determination in his son's voice, only nodded and resignedly mumbled.

“Be careful, and return safely.”





Kyungsoo left the house resolutely the next morning despite the remaining apprehension from his parents. He overheard the muted conversation between his parents the night before, hushed words about how they shouldn’t have allowed him to leave. His mother cried a little when his father told her that it’s about time. Kyungsoo couldn’t even think of what his father meant by it. Again, going into the woods seemed to be the only thing that could probably shed some light into the matter.

The morning was cold, windy and slightly misty. Kyungsoo zipped his parka up to his chin as he walked into the denser part of the forest where the amount of sunshine penetrating the trees slowly receded. It was strange how despite not knowing the direction he should be heading toward he felt the lack of doubt on where to go. It seemed like his feet navigated themselves into taking the steps and turns. Though there is a need to regulate his breathing, Kyungsoo felt strangely lighter.

A couple miles into the wood he reached a shallow creek with ice-cold water. He carefully squatted and gulped the water greedily until he felt some splash on his cheek. Looking up, Kyungsoo was surprised to see the boy from the day before standing right across the creek.

“You’ll choke if you drink like that.” The boy smirked.

“What the—” Kyungsoo stood up, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment as if the boy caught him doing something bad. “How did you find me?”

The boy pouted. “You don’t exactly conceal yourself, you know. I knew you were coming as soon as you stepped into the forest. But that’s not important!” He said happily like a squeal. "Chanyeol will be very happy!”

It was the second time Kyungsoo heard the name. It irked him how this strange boy kept bringing up someone he hadn’t known before. “Ok, who’s Chanyeol? And who are you?”

The boy didn’t answer the question and said,. “Rather than explaining, why don’t let me show you?” he waved. “Come here.”

Kyungsoo debated whether or not he should listen to the boy. But then he looked around in hesitation, and for the first time noticed how the atmosphere at the other side of the creek seemed more alive. The tree branches swayed lazily with the nonexistent wind, and Kyungsoo saw how tame the tiny forest animals like squirrel and birds were. A brave waxwing even came as far as pecking on the boy’s ear playfully.

In the end, the curiosity got the better of him. Kyungsoo decided to take the boy’s invitation and jumped across. It wasn’t like he had a particular destination anyway. He stepped backward all set to jump, and although not without little difficulty, he managed to get across. Unfortunately, the spot where he landed was slippery from moss, and Kyungsoo wobbled. The boy managed to seize his hand, saving him from falling into the creek.

“That was close!” Kyungsoo laughed nervously, “Thanks, Baekhyun!”

Kyungsoo’s heart skipped. It was strange how the name rolled out of his mouth naturally like he had said it countless of times before. He didn’t know where the knowledge of the name came from but he didn’t have any doubt that the boy was indeed called Baekhyun.

Baekhyun smiled cheekily, unable to hide his own excitement.

“See? I told you!”





It turned out that ‘Chanyeol’ was a tall, hyperactive four year-old boy with bushy brown hair and wild eyes. As soon as he saw them, the boy ran toward them and pounced on Kyungsoo, his extremely oversized clothes flapping against his body.

“Kyungsooo!” He squealed. “What took you so long?!”

“This is Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo eyed Baekhyun questioningly. He didn’t recall having made friend with such a small boy before. Besides, if the last time he went to the forest was when he was around twelve, then the boy hadn’t supposed to be born back then.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and hit Chanyeol’s head with the side of his hand. “Yah, who told you to appear like that?” he said. “You’re confusing him.”

“Oh?” Chanyeol looked down at his body, and smiled sheepishly. “Right, sorry…let me adjust.” He meekly went behind a tree trunk, stretched his body, and—Kyungsoo didn’t know how it happened—came back as a fully grown-up young man probably around his age.

“So...hi again, I guess.” the older Chanyeol grinned. The change on his body also affected the way he sounded. His obnoxiously high-pitched voice turned deep and low.

“How…” he gasped, pointing at Chanyeol. “Why…?”

“It doesn’t matter how.” Baekhyun said, half-impatiently took Kyungsoo’s wrist and dragged him toward a slightly descending path, “As for why, well…” Baekhyun shrugged. “It’s safer for us to remain small.”

“Safer how?” Kyungsoo questioned, while trying to catch Baekhyun’s surprisingly quick stride. “Logically, having bigger body will be an advantage if you want to...say, hunt, or survive against wild animal, perhaps?”

“The thing is,” Chanyeol said, “We don’t exactly need to hunt. As for survival, well...we have to survive against something else, and we don’t really need bigger body for that—”

“SHHH!” Baekhyun suddenly stopped, “Be quiet!”

He winked at them, particularly at Kyungsoo, who remained oblivious until Baekhyun pointed to a patch of bald land under a flock of tree. At least, it was bald before. Kyungsoo rubbed his eyes. He was pretty sure he saw tiny buds of grass and flower bulbs emerging from the ground. It felt like he was watching a timelapse video of a growing plant.

“That is...not possible. It can’t be happening, right?” Kyungsoo stepped backward, outside the path and onto the forest ground. He put down his backpack and took a moment to breath, recovering from the shock.

What happened was quite the opposite, however, because as soon as he looked down, Kyungsoo shrieked in horror. The soil around him moved; it wasn’t the kind of movement like that of an earthquake but more of a gentle wave that gave him the same sensation as standing on water bed. It didn’t stop at that yet—it was just the beginning—because the next second, loose grains of earth started to float, moving upward slowly and spinning around him like a hollow spire. He thought it was beautiful yet it was frightening and he was screaming hysterically. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were forced to swallow their laughter when Kyungsoo fell on his to the ground.

“What exactly is happening?” Kyungsoo looked like he wanted to cry. “What’s wrong with this forest?”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanged glances in silence. They didn’t look bothered by the question but Kyungsoo couldn’t help but notice the fleeting sadness in their eyes. Chanyeol came and helped him to stand.

“It’s not the forest, Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol smiled, putting a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “It’s you. The earth welcomes you back. They’ve missed you.” He paused, hesitating, but decided to just go with it, taking Kyungsoo into his arms.

"We missed you."



-tbc-