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Spontaneity-sputnik-

story titlefive/five points

The story title fits the story very well. The plot revolves around the meaning of that word and it also gives your readers a slight insight into what your story is about. It’s simple but full of impact, well done!

description, foreword & tagsten/ten points

I really like your description; not only does it give a background to your characters, but it also gives your reader a future direction as to where the plot will likely to end up. You’ve introduced your characters in the short sentences, which saved you from doing so in the main text, which I personally prefer over the very detailed descriptions that are paragraphs long.

For your foreword, you included the definition of the word, which I really like also. Though many readers would most probably know what the word means, it’s nice to have a little reminder of it. It also highlights the importance of the word for your story, which is always a good thing.

There are no problems with your tags at all!

appearance: graphicsone/five points, layoutfive/five points

Your poster is nice, but it doesn’t really suit the story in my opinion. Though it has the title and a quote from the story, I feel that it’s a little lacking. For example, perhaps the main characters can be shown in the poster? I personally don’t really like how the the word is split up into three different lines since it makes it difficult to read. Also, I’m not really sure if the background image is supposed to match the poster or not, so I’m a little reluctant to give it a high score, I’m sorry.

On the other hand, the overall display of your story is very tidy and clean. Though you have used a layout, it doesn’t interfere with reading, which is always a plus.

characterisationfifteen/fifteen points

I feel that you have done very well with defining your characters. Though your story is short, your characters are definitely well written and portrayed. Since the focus of your story is only on two people, there were plenty of time and space for you to utilise to develop them, which you did!

Jongdae is someone who struggles with change, and must go through things in a routinely way or else he’d be extremely uncomfortable. I can feel you have done your research with the Asperger Syndrome. Though it is often difficult to write about certain conditions, especially those that aren’t physical, I feel that Jongdae’s character is a successful one in portraying that condition.

As for Baekhyun, he’s the typical happy-go-lucky guy who doesn’t seem to have a worry in life and does whatever pleases him. Though I’m normally a little ‘meh’ about these characters, I feel that his character is a good combination with Jongdae, the two balancing out well and complimenting each other, despite your focus being on Jongdae mainly.

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