Eleven
Shin Hye

Saying I've been on my toes the whole night is an understatement. Every time a new song starts I jerk, thinking he might come now and take me to the dance floor. I don't have a problem with dancing, not at all! On the contrary, I really enjoy it, but the problem here is the Jung Yong Hwa factor. I mean, yesterday was weird between us the whole time and today when he arrived it was also weird because the moment he closed the distance between us I stopped being aware of the people around us. That can't be normal, that his proximity clouds my senses in that way. It's intimidating and unnerving and it makes me wary of having him around, whatever the reason is.

And as if that wasn't enough, let's add to the pile of worries that I don't even know how he dances or what he might make us dance. What if it's a slow song? Or what if he has this magnetism about him that some people possess? I am scared of what my reaction might be when we are on the dance floor.

But no matter what I imagined, nothing could prepare me for what really happens and I have to admit my opinion on him is far more better now.

Just a normal occidental pop song is playing when he comes to me, grabbing my wrist and scaring the living days out of me. "I like this song," he says and I look at him with wide eyes. It's still fairly early so we just have a few clients, regulars that will stay almost until the end and just a few are dancing. "Let's go now," he urges me and it's not like he gives me a chance to refuse, he just drags me to the dance floor and I just stand there for a minute, just staring.

And then he starts moving.

He's not gracious or magnetic, but I can't take my eyes off of him and I don't know if he's being serious or if he's just joking. I cover my mouth to muffle the giggles but there's a point when I can't stop and I laugh out loud. He doesn't get offended, in fact I see the smile on his lips before he makes another awkward move that only makes me laugh harder.

"Dance! I'm totally smashing it now!" he exclaims over the music and, still laughing, I start following him. I don't know why he was so against dancing before, this is not much different from what his band mates were doing before. Now I see why Min Hyuk was so excited to have Yong Hwa join them. I should've insisted back then.

We dance like idiots together, laughing and moving at the rhythm of the pop song and completely oblivious to the rest who are probably staring at us. I love dancing but I had never had so much fun on the dance floor. He comes up with weird dance moves and there's no way he's serious, not even a little bit and that's what makes me actually like him right now.

I like better this version of him, goofy and happy, with an amused smile on the lips. It makes me feel at ease and have a good time and he looks even more handsome with that toothy smile that's ever so dashing. When he touches me to make me twirl or something else I feel a jolt in my belly and all my nerve endings coming alive, but it doesn't scare me, in fact it feels pleasant. I enjoy the contact instead of yanking away, I crave it instead of fearing it.

From all the times we've interacted, this is the best one and I wish it were always like this. I would gladly give into what I feel when I look into his eyes, into this irrational attraction that consumes me from within. He should be like this all the time, things would be a lot easier.

The song ends and he stops but the smile is still on his lips. I also stop although a new song has begun, but we won't dance it, that's for sure. Not a chance because this song is slower and all things considered I believe it's pushing too far and too fast.

"Now you can tell why I'm the dance king," he says in a light tone and I chuckle again.

"I can totally see. You taught those other two all your moves?" He nods at my answer, gaining another chuckle from me. "You're more fun like this," I add next and for a second he loses the smile. I wonder if he understands that I don't mean dancing but relaxed, in this goofy mood that I didn't expect of him, especially after how he dared me to dance.

Yong Hwa doesn't say anything else, he just bows his head lightly before turning on his heels and walking away from me, back to the DJ booth. I sigh and do the same but in the opposite direction. And during the rest of the night we don't talk again but when they perform my eyes are always on him. He is not magnetic when he dances or captivating, but when he has a guitar with him he dances a very different song, his body moves in a special way that is magnetic.

Tonight they leave as soon as we close and don't stay to help, and for what I hear—meaning what Min Hyuk tells me—it's because Yong Hwa is taking care of his family's music shop on his own so it's too much work for him and not enough sleep. Appa and I don't say a word and let them leave. Min Ha stays to help and whilst Appa does the accountable part, my friend and I clean the bar.

"It seems like today you didn't have much problem with the vocalist," Min Ha says and I nod absentmindedly.

"I think we're learning to stay away from each other," I say but for some reason my heart feels heavy when I say that. Yesterday was annoying and very difficult, but it was more interesting than today.

"That's good, if he kept being rude to you I was gonna kick his ," he replies and I look at him with wide eyes. Min Ha is not the violent type but he sounds really serious this time. "I don't like people who don't treat you like you deserve."

For some reason I feel like defending Yong Hwa, even if I have no reason why, all the contrary, but I don't like the idea of him being threatened.

"It's okay, you don't have to worry about that. He won't bother me anymore," I say instead, hoping it doesn't sound as strangled as I feel it.

My friend looks at me suspiciously as if he could sense something is off, but I won't tell him about how I thought I had fallen in love at first sight with Yong Hwa but then got disillusioned when we actually interacted. I don't want to explain how I feel when we are close and when he stares into my eyes. I definitely don't want to explain how he makes me feel when he's on stage. All those things will make me look like a silly teenager in his eyes and I don't feel like humiliating myself tonight.

"Please, Shin Hye-yah, don't fall for a guy like him," he pleads, surprising me. It's not like he knows Yong Hwa or anything.

"Why? He's got a weird and changing personality, but he's not done anything to label him as a bad person," I surprise myself by saying that and Min Ha looks at me with shock and course he would, I've just stood up for Yong Hwa. "Anyhow, I won't fall for him," I assure him but Min Ha doesn't look convinced.

I don't insist on the matter, I continue cleaning until we are done and we close for real, finally going home. Yesterday I felt exhausted but at the same time full of energy and I couldn't fall asleep. Today I feel drained, unmotivated and I fall asleep without even noticing. That doesn't mean my dreams are as boring as how this night was, on the contrary, out of all the dreams I can remember, certain vocalist was always present in some way, which of course doesn't go unnoticed. Still, I decide to ignore all that, as he and I ignore each other at the bar during the following days, which, contrary to what I first thought, is not what I really want. I was wrong about that after all, I don't want him to stay away and pretend we don't know each other. I definitely don't want that. However, I'm not sure exactly what I really want either.