//I'm so sorry for starting this story and then completely neglecting it, it was just very different from what I've written before, and therefore quite difficult. 

I slowly sat up in bed, reaching over to turn off the alarm clock. 8:00 AM.

I shook my head to clear it as I blinked slowly, thinking about the dream I had had last night. I couldn’t quite remember it anymore, or anything that happened, but there was a melody stuck in my head. Whatever, it’s probably nothing significant anyway. Better than the dreams I usually have. I stretched a little before moving slowly out of bed, grabbing the outfit I had laid out the night before, pulling it on before walking to the bathroom. On the way there, my eyes had somehow fallen back shut, but it didn’t matter either way. My hand slid along the wall as I walked through the hallway, running over the dent in the wall I had left on one of my bad days, sliding around the potted plant that sat on the floor in the corner, finally reaching the bathroom. I felt the cool doorknob under my hand, and pushed the door inwards. The toothbrush and toothpaste were lined up neatly on the left of the sink, and I managed to crack my eyes back open as I brushed my teeth, after which I bent down to wash my face. Once I was done, I turned around and pulled my towel off from the rack where it neatly hung on the left half to dry off my hand and face. When I had first tried to get ready in the morning, I had nearly broke the mirror in frustration at how difficult it was to handle everything with one hand, but I had learned by now how to manage. After I had put the towel back where it had been hung, I turned back to the sink and gave a little sigh before pulling open the cabinet.

“Oh, Jaebum, are you down? Here, have your breakfast, quickly now or we’ll be late,” my mother said, rushing around the house, gathering her things. I sat down at the table and ate half of my food while watching her. Sighing again, I stood up to put away my plate before going to the door.

“Mom. We should go now,” I called over my shoulder as I slipped out the door. I frowned when the car door opened without me having unlocked it. Deciding to ignore it for now, I sat in the passenger seat of the car, tapping my finger on the armrest as I waited for my mother to come out. I looked out the window to see she had yet to come out, eliciting another sigh from me as the tapping of my fingers increased in speed. 

I saw her finally scramble out the door and tug on the door handle of the car, which must have gotten jammed again. Holding my breath this time, I reached over the help her shove open the door. She was apologizing as she started the car, “I’m so sorry, Jaebum, I know you hate waiting, I promise we won’t be too late.”

“No, mom, I’m fine, just keep your eyes on the road,” I said, merely looking ahead at the road stretching out in front of us. “I’d rather be late than-” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. 

“Oh, honey, please, don’t think about anything like that, I promise to drive safely, okay? Let’s get you to your appointment now, okay?” my mother said. I sat still as she patted my hand, a silence coming over the car. “Would you like to listen to some music?” she said, reaching over to turn on the radio. I didn’t say anything, instead reaching over to stop her, causing another flow of apologies from her, “I’m sorry, Jaebum, I should have remembered-”

“It’s fine,” I cut her off. I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry for doing this to you. The rest of the trip was smothered in silence. 

“Ah, Jaebum! And Ms. Lim, welcome back,” Dr. Choi called to us cheerfully. “Come in, come in, sit down! I’m sorry we had to schedule so early, Jaebum, but there weren’t many time slots available,” she said, gesturing to the chairs as she flitted around the room. She was quite entertaining for someone who had to wok in such a boring workspace. The beige walls and monotonous whirring of the air conditioner, which was always set too low, would always put me in a very drowsy state, but the stiffness of the chair and the stale odor that hung around the whole building prevented me from actually falling asleep, which I would have preferred. Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Choi was quite nice and we were on somewhat amicable terms, but I didn’t really like talking to people for such long periods at a time, especially if it felt like they were trying to analyze me. I just didn’t really like it when people did anything involving me. 

This session was the same as any other, and when I was able to leave, I hurried out the door, blinking away the haze of sleepiness that had settled over my brain while I had been struggling to stay awake. I didn’t bother to wait for my mom as she knew I liked to walk around a bit after such sessions, as I could get quite restless. I decided that maybe I could go get something to eat, but remembered that I didn’t have any money on me. Sighing once again, I needed to get out some of my energy and decided to pace up and down the stairs some. One two, one two, one two… I counted as I put foot after foot, up and down the stairs. While I was on the staircase I heard somebody open the door and come in. Shaking my head, I continued jogging up and down the stairs until I heard them humming a tune. I ran back up the flight I was on before running back down until I reached the voice.

“You!” I said, pointing at him. 

He stopped and turned partially towards me, “M-me? I’m sorry, who is this?” he asked, startled.

“I, uh,” I stuttered out, not quite sure what to do. He gave me a smile, as if to encourage me, and it just made me more frustrated. Who was he to be so happy? “You’re the blind guy, aren’t you?” 

“I, oh! You must be the person I stepped on last week! Nice to meet you, I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself last time, I had been running late,” he said to me. “My name is Youngjae!” he excitedly said, extending his hand a little too far to the left of me. 

I scowled, tugging at my hair. “Why aren’t you yelling at me, I was rude to you and I haven’t apologized yet,” I said bluntly. Had my mother been around, I’m sure she would have given me one of her stretched smiles before patting my shoulder, not wanting to reprimand me but also not liking when I was rude to others. “I wish they wouldn’t do that.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure what I did, wouldn’t do what exactly?” he asked, still giving me that encouraging smile. 

“Oh. I didn’t mean to say that. Whatever,” I responded. Why is he still smiling? I didn’t like when people gave me those strained smiles (like my mother), and I didn’t like this one either but for a completely different reason. It made me feel disappointed in myself. This whole situation just confused me, and I didn’t want to lash out again on this blind kid, so I did what I had been taught to do in such situation. I walked away. 

What I didn’t expect was for him to follow me. “Hey, where are you going? Can I come with you? Maybe we can be good friends. Why are you here anyways?” he asked me, following my footsteps as I made my way down the stairs, out the door. I didn’t understand why he was following me, why he was so curious, so trusting and naive. I wanted to push him away, or get angry and shout. Instead I ignored all of his questions and let him just follow behind me. Maybe if I continued walking far enough from his original destination, he would leave me alone. 

I turned the corner and walked into a small cafe, hoping that the kid would leave me alone, but he only followed after me, continuing his rambling. I don’t know why, but I held open the door as he passed through. It was an automatic response, I suppose. Helping people in need. I decided I had given up by then. In other circumstances, I would have kept up my silence (which I technically did, seeing as I didn’t actually talk) but it seemed I was craving some company after a long time without peer interaction. I helped him into a seat after we had both gotten our orders and sat across from me. I thought he would have started asking more questions, but there was a slight pause as he reached across the table towards me until he was able to touch my hand and see if I was really there. “So you didn’t leave me yet. That’s funny, from your responses so far, or lack thereof I would have expected you to abandon me,” he commented, seeming satisfied at the result of his persistence. 

I hummed a reply that was barely audible, and just looked at him. Apparently he wasn’t so naive. Just persistent, and maybe bored enough to interact with a stranger. Like me, in some sense. 

We stayed in the shop for only about ten minutes, but it seemed as if ages had passed. The kid, or rather, Youngjae I suppose, continued talking to me, and when he received no responses to my questions, he answered them himself. He told me all about himself, yet at the same time nothing. The facts I were told were insignificant details about his life, such as his favorite color, his favorite food, his least favorite color, his least favorite food. While he talked, I watched. I guess that was sort of our differences, he couldn’t see, and I had trouble saying things (saying the right things, the proper things). Then he told me about more specific details, or rather, I learned specific details about him. The way he would start to lean a little to the left sometimes while talking, how his smile never faded, nor seemed fake yet at the same time wasn’t quite… full. How he traced the tiles of the floor with his foot, or drew things with his fingers on the table. Things that nobody could see, except for him. Maybe that was the reason, he wanted to be able to create art that others couldn’t see, because he couldn’t see the world. Or maybe I was thinking too hard again, and he just had a habit of moving his fingers. 

I checked my watch, and told him the time. He seemed surprised, but not at the time, rather at the fact that I had talked. Maybe it was because I interrupted him in the midst of his complaints on cucumbers, or maybe it was because I actually talked to him. I think it might have been because he was surprised I had still been sitting across from him that whole time. I told him I needed to get back, and he nodded, agreeing with me, saying that he did too. I got up from my chair and we walked back together. 

“That was pretty fun, wouldn’t you agree?” he asked me, giggling slightly. “Do you come around here a lot, maybe we can have a conversation with some dialogue next time, no?”

I managed to pull up my lips up into a smile, and nodded, forgetting for a moment that he couldn’t see me. Although, it was hard to say I forgot, rather that I wasn’t thinking. I hadn’t not thought in a while. It felt surprisingly refreshing, so I told Youngjae, “Thank you.”

There was no hint of surprise in his voice as he responded “You’re welcome,” with that smile of his. 

“Jaebum, you seem happy today. Did something good happen?” my mother asked me later in the car that day. 

“No. I just thought I was going to get angry today,” I responded, looking out the window.

“Oh?” she asked, confused. 

“Well, I didn’t get angry.”