Author's POV

April, Year 2017

A young man with neat side swept bangs, dressed in casual acid washed torn jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt was causally walking along the crowded streets of Myeongdong. Beautiful almond shaped eyes; sharp nose; fair complexion, he literally screamed perfection. Girls on the streets were busily checking him out, but he was oblivious to their actions, just like how the love of his life was and still is oblivious to his feelings. 

"You're the best brother ever!" That sentence just caused his heart to clench everytime he heard it. Brother, brother, brother. That was all he could ever mean to her. He never got the courage to confess to her, fearing that she would fear him, that one simple confession was enough to destroy their precious friendship, which equates to him never getting to be close to her ever again. Oblivion- that was what frustrated him the most. Facing heartbreak after heartbreak yet never leaving her side, yet never taking a step further than being her guardian angel. No matter how much it hurt, he had already given his heart away, and there was no way he could get it back. 

The young man's train of thoughts was broken as a huge microphone was literally stuffed in his face. He was still in the middle of the streets of Myeongdong, but this time he was surrounded by cameramen and a petite reporter donning dark spectacles. Still confused, he shot the reporter a quizzical look. His confusion was soon transformed into understanding as he heard the reporter's explanation.

"Hi, I'm an MC for this new variety show and could we ask you a few questions?"

"uh...sure yeah..."

"Okay, this variety show is about collecting the dreams and aspirations of as many koreans as possible. We are going to pick a few special dreams and show them on a special broadcast. So sir, what is your biggest dream as of now?"

"My biggest dream as of now..?"

"Yes sir, it could be anything under the sun. As long as it's something you really want to achieve. Oh, and do introduce yourself and state your age."

"Hi, I'm Luhan and I'm 23 this year. My biggest dream is to be born a year earlier."

"Oh, that's interesting, why a year earlier?" 

"I wish that I could have been born a year earlier, so that the most beautiful woman in my life would care about me, look at me, think of me in a different way- not as a brother, but rather as a man. And most importantly, give me a chance to prove that I am capable of caring for her, and that I could be man of her life. I would be given a chance to further our relationship, tell her how much I love her, so that I can mean so much more to her, so that I can be so much more that just a silent guardian angel."

"Would you like to tell her something through this interview?"

"Minhee ah, would you give me a chance too? I love you..."

Minhee's POV

August 18 2017

There was a knock on the door at 9am in the morning. Opening the door, I realised that it was a postman. Someone had sent this parcel for me? After signing the receipt, I set the package down before switching on the television. There was still about 20 minutes till the morning news ended. 

While waiting for the news to end, curiosity got the better of me as I picked up the parcel neatly wrapped in brown paper. I kind of liked the sound of the brown paper being crumpled in my hands as I tore the wrapper apart, revealing a notebook with a purple velvet cover. As I flipped over the first page, a yellow post it note was seen. 

"For my one and only Jung Minhee."

Luhan's POV

3 January 2010

It all began when I transferred from China to Korea in high school. My parents have decided to start a new fashion business branch in Korea, given the good entertainment market and ever changing fashion trends. High School students in Korea and China were just plain different. Girls in China were extremely hardworking and were enthusiastic in their learning. Even though they cared about their appearances and still had secret crushes here and there, they never dolled themselves up to impress, or rather, they were not allowed to do so in China's high schools. Education was always the first priority- physical appeal didn't really matter much. Hence, it all came as a culture shock to me when I first stepped into the classroom in my new high school in Korea. Girls had their faces caked with makeup, their conversations were revolving around new make up products in the market and their personal opinions on guys in their classes. Guys had their hair styled up and hardened with gel and hairspray, and several students were in inappropriate messy uniforms. What seemed to intrigue me the most was that these guys were the ones who gained the most swooning from the girls anyway. Even though I was a stark contrast from the other guys, the occassional compliments I received (or rather eavesdropped) from the girls kind of boosted my ego quite a bit.

As usual, I did my introductions in front of the whole class by regurgitating the lines I memorized the night before. It probably sounded as if I spoke perfect Korean, but actually those were the only lines I really knew. I was later appointed to sit beside a girl, whose face was as usual caked with makeup, her lipstick was so red I nearly thought she had rashes. She introduced herself as Soojin and tried really hard to start a conversation with me, to which I tried to ignore her as much as possible. Why? 1. I needed to concentrate on the lesson to improve my already horrible standard of Korean. 2. She looked really scary with that makeup and her constant attempts to wink at me has not gone unnoticed. 3. I can't really reply her questions given my quite limited vocabulary bank. Hence, once classes ended, I quickly attempted to escape from the grasps of this woman. I dashed to my next class. 

Much to my disappointment, I was in the same literature class as Soojin as well, just my luck. I did my introductions once again in front of the class, until I got distracted by this girl by the window. Her long brown hair was fluttered by the wind as she gracefully read her literature text. Never in my life had I seen someone read so beautifully. She was different from the others - her face wasn't caked in makeup, she didn't look as if she wanted my attention. In fact, she gave off a vibe that she wanted to be left alone. "Where would you like to sit?" Unknowingly, I had already made my way to the empty seat beside the new girl. Pale complexion, cherry lips, beautiful eyes. Her features captured my attention once I stepped into the classroom. Sitting beside such a pretty lady made my heart beat a little faster. Maybe, just maybe, we were meant to meet all along. 

"Hello, I'm Luhan, what's your... name?" 

"Jung Min Hee. Just call me Minhee." 

This moment would forever be etched in my mind. I just got to know this really beautiful girl. And just at first sight, I have already decided that she was going to be my one and only lady. I was going to fight for her, get to know her better, make her fall for me. No matter what. I, Lu Han, had secretly pledged myself to complete mission impossible. 

6 November 2010

Days, weeks, months passed by. I tried my best to always start small talk between us, and her melodious laughter never failed to make my heart skip a beat. I must be really smitten by her beauty, and yes, I wouldn't deny that. I have tried to drop hints regarding my feelings for her but she always seemed to brush it off, or act as if she didn't understand what I meant. Well maybe, she's just one big blockhead I guess. A blockhead who I have fallen head over heels for. I often brought her some homemade lunch, claiming that I couldn't finish my food, when actually I had bothered my neighbour to teach me a few recipes and burnt at least a week's worth of food. Well, at least my efforts did not go to waste when she complemented me, though not generously. A single smile from her could light up my day. Keeping my feelings and emotions to myself was kind of hard and I even considered creating a blog just to write about her but later decided that it was just way too cheesy. 

-

5 February 2011

Once again, I was at my neighbour, Kyungsoo's home learning how to make a simple  egg roll. I had always used the excuse of learning how to cook for myself to make Kyungsoo teach me some of his secret recipes, but I guess Kyungsoo somehow got to know about the situation and got a little suspicious. After failing to make the 5th egg roll, Kyungsoo shook his head and stopped me by grabbing the ladle. 

"Why, Luhan? Why are you so persistent?"

"Persistent about what?"

"It seems like the reason why you're learning how to cook isn't that simple. I even caught you trying to make a heart shaped egg salad sandwich!" 

"Well... I wanted to try making different shapes..."

"Stop lying. Who is the special lady?"

Kyungsoo was this formidable. I've only known him for a month or so and he had already gotten a sense of the whole situation. Everyone else could feel it; Everyone else could sense by sincerity; Everyone else knew. Everyone but you, Minhee. Were you really oblivious, or were you just trying to brush me off? You were the only thing that never made sense. 

I told Kyungsoo everything about Minhee, her pretty little self, her beautiful personality, her warm heart. She captured my attention at first sight, but it seemed to me that I never caught hers. Kyungsoo had officially diagnosed me with love- sickness. And yes, as much as I would like to deny it, I had fallen head over heels over Jung Minhee, and as much as I wouldn't want to, I was helplessly plunging further into this immense darkness.

-

20 April 2011

I countinued to do everything for Minhee, fetching her to and from school everyday, making lunch for her, teaching her math, taking notes for her when she was sick, even sending her to the hospital once when she fainted in school from a fever and stayed there for 2 days straight. 

Yet she still took me as a brother. And all I could do was to accept and wait silently. 

It's my birthday today but it seems like Minhee forgot about it. But it's okay because I still spent the day with her anyways. A genuine smile from her was enough to brighten up my day.

-

9 September 2011

I've been waiting patiently until I got my hopes up one time when she told me she had a secret to share. My heart was palpitating irregularly, my palms got sweaty, my eyes were filled with anticipation. Minhee led me to a garden and we hid behind a tree. She then revealed the secret she had kept to herself for years.

"Luhan, I want you to listen carefully to what I'm going to say."

"Uhm ok, what is it?" I thought I was going to hear what I had always wanted to hear.

"Do you know who's Byun Baekhyun? He's a year younger than us. He seems to be very nice and..." Why was Minhee talking to me about that guy? Of course I knew who he was. Not becuase he was popular. It's because he was notorious. Notorious for being a jerk. Don't tell me...

"I like him, Luhan. I wrote him a confession letter this morning and told him to meet me at that park bench... Ah! There he is oh my god..." The ugly truth just punched me hard in the gut. Minhee... she didn't like me. She liked another guy. Her first love was a jerk. Despite the aching pain I felt in my chest, I had to interfere. Minhee can't get together with such a useless jerk. No, she can't, I have to talk her out of it. I have to.

"Luhan, I'm going out there to confess to him. You must cheer for me like how a brother would okay!" 

"I- Minhee, look-"

It was too late. Minhee had long ran down the dirt path towards Baekhyun, just like how she was going down the wrong path towards the wrong person, yet I couldn't do anything to stop her. All I could do now was just to crouch behind this tree and watch her confess. Her confession was obviously a success as they were embracing each other. My heart had shattered into a million pieces, but who could help me pick up the pieces? As my tears threatened to fall, I ran away. I needed to escape from this heartbreaking scene. Minhee was happy. But I wasn't happy for her. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I couldn't be.

-

9 January 2012

Throughout the duration of their relationship, I masked my emotions from almost everyone. Whenever Minhee and Baekhyun were together, I escaped. That was all I could do, and exactly what I did. I escaped from reality; I escaped from the fact I liked Minhee. I hated myself. If I truly liked Minhee, shouldn't I give her my blessings like how everyone else did? I was probably the worst friend. Ever.

From then on Minhee changed. She was no longer the cheerful and natural girl I first got to know of. Because of that jerk, Byun Baekhyun, my lady changed. Wait, she wasn't even mine in the first place. Jung Minhee started to care more about her looks. She started putting on makeup, started wearing shorter skirts, started dieting. Jung Minhee was no longer the Minhee I used to know. She went to parties more often, went on outings with people I never knew. We were drifting apart from each other, but am I the only one feeling the pain?

-

5 February 2012

Minhee and Baekhyun's relationship lasted for about 3 months, with Baekhyun initiating the break as he claimed that 'Minhee was being bossy as hell' and that he 'had fallen for another better girl'. These two mere sentences of course left Minhee in a crying mess and she came crying to me one Saturday night. It was Minhee and Baekhyun's third monthsary the next day so when I saw a drenched Minhee crying at my doorstep, I panicked a lot. 

"Luhan ah! I got dumped..."

"WHAT?" 

"Don't be so surprised...it hurts so much, Luhan. What do I do now?"

"Tell me everything. Just cry your heart out, Minhee. I'm here for you."

"Really?"

If only you knew, Minhee. I was always here for you, regardless rain or shine. Love hurts, Minhee, I'm hurting too. Did you even know?

"I thought Baekhyun was the man I had always been waiting for, Luhan. He had the looks, he was actually really kind hearted. I fell in love with him when I saw him playing with kids during our community service project. Maybe I had a soft spot for guys who are kind. I was really happy when we got together, but I had to admit that he was getting more and more childish as time went by. Probably since I'm older, I got annoyed easily when I saw him doing things I disapproved of. when he finally broke up with me for those obviously fake reasons I just- collapsed. Maybe it was one-sided admiration after all."

"It's over, Minhee, come on, you have to move on. I will be here to support you."

"You know what, Luhan, I lost my first love to a man who I thought was trustworthy. I used to think age didn't matter, but it seems like age does matter. No matter how much I try to deny it, its a fact. It was our difference in age and maturity levels which caused this painful heartbreak. I made up my mind Luhan, I won't look at another guy younger than me again. I'm trying to find someone reliable here..." 

Minhee broke down again.

So did I. I was just denied the chance of loving her when it wasn't even my fault. It was all because of someone else I tried to warn her against.

-

16 May 2012

Minhee has gotten a little better after a few weeks. Fortunately, Minhee is transforming back to her old self and is starting to take things in her stride. Minhee got over her painful heartbreak and moved on. I'm really happy for her. She never looked at another guy (at least for now I guess) But it never eradicated the pain in my heart when she rejected me before I could even ask.

24 October 2012

It was the end of the school year, and we had to choose which college we wanted to enrol in. Minhee and I had passed the college exams together through sheer hard work and mutual encouragement. We always studied together at the neighbourhood McDonalds outlet, and hogged the seats everyday from 8am to 10pm. Despite the daily fatty diet and ice cream, we never got obese, probably due to the stress I guess. I thought studying was hard. But I'm wrong. Choosing college was an even harder decision. The fact that Minhee and I had different interests just bugged me even further. We might not end up in the same college, and distance might be another factor which could separate us again.

26 January 2013

College results are out. Minhee got into the Seoul College of the Arts, majoring in vocals, while I got into Seoul National University, majoring in engineering. Our interests were vastly different, and hence the different schools. Although both schools were in Seoul, they were quite far from each other and both of us happened to enrol in our dorms. We no longer really met up, but still made it a point to call or skype once every few days. I will miss you, Minhee. But would you? I wish you happiness.

30 June 2013

College is getting hectic and I seldom have time to write here anymore, neither do I have the time to call and skype Minhee too often, but recently Minhee got a really bad sore throat so I guess I shall send her some herbal tea via post. A pretty lady shouldn't lose her beautiful voice if she wanted to become a singer right?!

1 January 2014 

It's Minhee's birthday today, and yes she's literally considered to be one year older than all of us, hence the reason why she still looks at me as if I'm her brother. I bought her an ice cream cake and made a bracelet for her, for which I lied that it was storebought. She was becoming more beautiful as the years passed by. Eventually, we separated due to college matters, but still met up occassionally. Minhee remained single after the Baekhyun incident, despite the countless admirers she had. Of course, I was jealous whenever another guy tried to get closer to her, but I was glad that none of them really succeeded, except this Kyuhyun guy Minhee was telling me about. I think she's wavering but please Minhee, don't...

3 April 2014

I must have been dumb to think that entering a different school from Minhee would give me time to get over her and move on with another girl. The engineering course is freaking filled to the brim with guys and the rare few girls are almost all taken or tomboys, given the overpowering raging male hormones in the sector. Another day spent thinking about Minhee... was she thinking about me? I must be crazy.Take a chill pill, Lu. 

11 November 2014

Dad called today to ask me to return to China as soon as possible. He said that Grandpa is in a critical condition and I needed to go back and see him. I left Minhee with a voicemail that I was leaving on an urgent trip to China, and informed my school. I then left for China for I don't know how long. 

3 February 2015

Grandpa passed away. The man who was my role model, my beloved grandfather who never failed to always encourage me, give me advice on almost everything ranging from studies to aspirations to love. He was one of the most important persons in my life. Yet he had left me alone, in this cold and cruel world, to face reality all by myself, all alone. My heart had almost lost all of its warmth. It hurts so bad. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Because grandpa always told me that a real man never cries, even if he is feeling really miserable, he overcomes it with his strong mind, and with will power, he must move on. And so I tried. 

There is still a glimpse of hope in life which I haven't lost yet. That's none other than the star of my night, Jung Minhee.

26 April 2015

"Is it okay if I fell in love again?" 

That was the first sentence which I heard when I picked up the phone. Checking the caller-ID, it was none other than Jung Minhee.

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"So should I accept his confession?"

I stopped short there. Minhee found love again. And it wasn't me. 

I must be that stupid to have always kept silent about my emotions. I'm going to hurt again and I have a feeling that this time round my sky is going to become pitch black. 

"Who...who's that special one?" I managed to force out these words after much hesitance. 

"It's Kyuhyun. The guy I mentioned to you before. He's currently part of a really hot band! You know? Did you hear of Super Junior?!"

"Oh... and..."

"Yeah? Luhan you there?"

"Uh... yeah I'm here. Are you happy around him?" I could feel my heart literally tearing apart for the second time. There was a dying question I wanted  to ask. But I couldn't find the courage to do so.

"Of course, Luhan! He treats me really well!"

"Is he..." I was going to ask this question no matter what.

"Is he younger or older than you, Minhee?" The question had popped out of my mouth.

"He is older than me, by two years. Have you forgotten my promise to never date someone younger than me again? Oh and talking about Baekhyun, I heard he got scouted into an entertainment company too you know... I heard..."

The rest of the sentence never registered in my mind. Of course, I knew it. She wouldn't look at another guy younger than her again. She was that stubborn. I let out a bitter chuckle. 

"Then you must introduce him to me after you accept his confession then. Beware of scandals alright!"

"Sure Luhan, you're my best brother."

My heart had shattered into smithereens as soon as the line cut off. Seems like she forgot my birthday again.

15 November 2015

I met Minhee and Kyuhyun today. They were such a sweet couple. I envied them, but this time, I was truly happy for Minhee, I truly was. I may never match up to the way Kyuhyun treated Minhee. Minhee was a princess, as always. 

20 March 2016

It was another usual morning as I got up from bed and collected the newspapers from my doorstep. After preparing my usual kaya toast, I packed my bag and got ready to go to town to do some research for suitable engineering jobs. After reading the main sections of the newspaper, I had the urge to pick up the lifestyle section as well. Flipping open the front page, to my ultimate surprise, there was a picture of Minhee in a musical costume at a musical performance downtown, saying that she was an up and coming musical actress. So proud of my princess.

It's not a bad thing that Minhee became a celebrity after all, at least I could know her whereabouts through the lifestyle newspaper. I read the newspaper daily from then on.

16 October 2016

I read the newspapers again today and this time when I flipped open the first page of the lifestyle section, my mind went blank.

"Kyuhyun of Super Junior rumoured to be in a relationship with same company's rookie"

Did that guy just take Minhee as a joke? What is he trying to achieve? That son of a , he's going to get it from me.

I called Minhee up to ask about the news but she never picked up, so I sped on the roads to her home. Meeting me at the door was a tired and teary eyed Minhee who cried her eyes out upon seeing me at her doorstep.

"So the science expert soon to be engineer reads the lifestyle newspapers too huh?" She tried to joke but her voice just ended up cracking even more.

"Tell me honestly, Minhee, did you know about this?"

"Can we not talk about th-"

"NO MINHEE HOW CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS. THIS IS DARNED SERIOUS DON'T YOU GET IT?"

I just raised my voice at Minhee for the first time, ever. And it pained me to see her masked emotions emerging as soon as I shouted at her.

"I knew." She looked down at her feet as her fingers started to clench.

Then why didn't you tell me?  

"I saw them when I visited him at the company. But I refused to accept it. I ran away as soon as I could."

"Why didn't you confront him? He's your boyfriend after all? He shouldn't even be doing this!"

"I can't!"

"WHY NOT?"

"Because I love him. I cannot afford to lose him! I will swallow everything I don't mind, as long as I'm by his side I don't mind... I already lost my first love and this time I don't want to-" Minhee started babbling stuff which didn't make sense and bawling her eyes out. I could sense her pain, but what could I do to mend her heart? If only you looked at me too, Minhee, I swear I would never leave your side. 

17 October 2016

I went to confront Cho Kyuhyun at his company and he obviously tried to act innocent in front of that rookie until I showed the rookie whose name was Seulgi a photo of Kyuhyun and Minhee together. Seulgi burst into tears and ran to who knows where and that sent Kyuhyun into a rage. 

"What's your problem?!"

"You're the one who should be answering that question! Who are you to toy with Minhee's feelings!"

"Ah... you're that defensive brother of Minhee's huh?" I flinched at the word brother.

"Minhee and I are over. Long over. It's just that Minhee doesn't want to accept it. And now you come and confront me over a finished relationship? Get your facts right before you come right here and destroy my relationship! You obviously still have feelings for Minhee huh... after so long. Why not you just go and confess to her instead of being here trying to be-"

I couldn't take it anymore and I sent a full forced punch over to Kyuhyun's powdered face which left his cheek swollen and lips bleeding. Who said I didn't want to confess to her? I was afraid of heartbreak too. I was already rejected because of a decision I had to choice in. All I could do was be her guardian angel and protect her, which I couldn't even do. I was only human, I had my limitations. After that, I was obviously dragged out of the building by the sercurity guards. I was thrown onto the hard concrete ground, with my body hurt, ego burnt, heart shattered. 

What could I do for you, Jung Minhee, when all other things fail? I'm a loser, really, and I can't face you again. The biggest regret I ever had was not being able to be born earlier than you. Even if it was just a year earlier, maybe you would spare me a thought right? Even if it was a year earlier, I would have the courage to make my feelings known, only then, would I be spared the relentless heartache I've had all these years. 

1 January 2017

It's Minhee's birthday today but I can't bear to talk to her or see her again. At least, I need to get my emotions right after all these years. I need to make a decision. To confess or to move on. Once I've made this decision, I will come and have a casual talk with you, Minhee. Then there would be nothing else written in this book, and this diary shall remain as a momento of my first and deepest love. 

8 April 2017

I was walking down the streets of Myeongdong trying to find a suitable gift for my best friend in the new workplace when I was approached by this huge group of media students trying to interview people about their greatest dreams or aspirations. They were filming for a new variety show and seeing how hard the sudents were working and sweating, I decided that participating would at least help them. I don't know whether to feel regretful or happy about this but I just truthfully told them my dreams. What if it gets broadcasted on TV? Then I would literally be confessing in front of the whole of Korea. Well, but at least I did something about making sure of my emotions. Even though I never got to confess to Minhee by myself, well at least she would know how I felt about her all those years when she sees the broadcast. It's a great relief for my heavy heart after all these years.

Author's POV

20 June 2017

BREAKING NEWS: An accident on Gyeongbu highway involving a total of 8 cars has taken away the lives of 5 drivers and 8 passengers, of which including an up and coming engineer in the homegrown car company KIA yesterday afternoon, as he was test driving their newest model...

18 August 2017

9:20 AM

"The drama series: My love from another star will be delayed till 10:00AM due to a special broadcast brought to you by the Media Faculty of SNU"

Minhee was still reading through the purple velvet diary and tears were threatening to fall, just like how the sky was overcast.

"This is a special broadcast of the collation of the dreams of koreans, from all walks of life, all in one show which would last for about 40 minutes. Special thanks to the interviewees. The first stop was Myeongdong Street."

"A young man with neat side swept bangs, dressed in casual acid washed torn jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt was causally walking along the crowded streets of Myeongdong. Let's ask him for an interview."

"Hi, I'm an MC for this new variety show and could we ask you a few questions?"

"uh...sure yeah..."

"Okay, this variety show is about collecting the dreams and aspirations of as many Koreans as possible. We are going to pick a few special dreams and show them on a special broadcast. So sir, what is your biggest dream as of now?"

"My biggest dream as of now..?"

"Yes sir, it could be anything under the sun. As long as it's something you really want to achieve. Oh, and do introduce yourself and state your age."

"Hi, I'm Luhan and I'm 23 this year. My biggest dream is to be born a year earlier."

Minhee looked up from the book in shock.

"Oh, that's interesting, why a year earlier?" 

"I wish that I could have been born a year earlier, so that the most beautiful woman in my life would care about me, look at me, think of me in a different way- not as a brother, but rather as a man. And most importantly, give me a chance to prove that I am capable of caring for her, and that I could be man of her life. I would be given a chance to further our relationship, tell her how much I love her, so that I can mean so much more to her, so that I can be so much more that just a silent guardian angel."

"Would you like to tell her something through this interview?"

"Minhee ah, would you give me a chance too? I love you..."

On the last page of the diary, there was another post it, in another handwriting.

"I think Luhan will want you to have this, Minhee. And I wish you happiness."

Sitting alone in the living room was a girl with long auburn hair, crying her eyes out on her couch, but it was all too late. He wasn't there to wipe away her tears, he couldn't protect her from harm anymore. She was left all alone in this cruel world, to fend for herself. 

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Word count: 5508

End of my first ever completed fic! Hope you all enjoyed it :))