the girls are already back in Korea, everyone was really tired. Yuri who was still hurt from that fall. the manager told her that she should be more careful, sighing she lays on her bed, burying her body in the mattress, she can feel her heart breaking really hurts, how much she wishes she had not witnessed the painful scene, repeated in her head throughout the flight to Korea.

Yuri's POV

"i loved you too" i heard jessica said but my curiosity killed me so i decide to take a look, i never expected to see taeyeon there still with her "so much, you never did something who are you trying to fool here now, if theres something i noticed was, one, you are in love with her...." i can feel my sica voice cracking more and more with every word she says "you've always been in love with her why are you doing this to me?"  it pained me to look at jessica's face tears were in her eyes but no one has fallen

sica ah i whispered if only she could hear me, i'm dying inside seeing her this broken, i was glad they haven't seen me i heard taeyeon begging her to dont go. 

sica please no, was the thought i had in that very moment. i have always known, jessica always look at her in a special way she never told me but you can tell by the way she looks at her

"just don't mess up " Jessica said pulling taeyeon closer to her kissing her

in that very moment i closed my fist so hard, i was with rage, and left silently i wasn't going to cry not there not where the members are there happily playing and enjoying.

If I were to go, If I were to go close to you
What would you think? Just thinking of this breaks my heart

thinking about that again really hurt me, i start to cry silently in this dark room, where are the others i dont know either do i care. i hold my mickey mouse pulling it closer to me. i cant help but to think about her, she's my weakness. sobbing hard i think about what would she do if i did what taeyeon did, but she would have never let me, i'm stupid, she doesn't think of me in that way . Taeyeon is her loved one,  the thought of never be able to have her in my arms breaks my heart.

Every day that passed by,i can feel their closeness in every perfomance we do. fans think is fan services...laughing dryly inside my head if they only knew.  but not even the members know...

If you were to leave, if you were to leave my side
How would I ever let you go? I’m always fearful of this

"yuri ah" i heard sica said and hug me wrapping her arms around my waist, i missed her her scent everything. do you hug her like this too? was all i could think of

"umm..." i just mumbled i'm still hurt but i never could be mad at her, because she's my everything...

"yah you're not paying attention to your wifey!" she pouts, her cute lips and cuteness never fails to melt my heart i smile

"of course i do sica ah...." i said wrapping my arms around her shoulders and she lays her head on my shoulder

"seobang i'm sleeping" she yawns

"i'll be your pillow" i said and she smiles making me smile too, it has been so long since she smiled just for me. i can feel someone's gaze over us, looking through the corner of my eyes i can see is taeyeon, i smile inwardly

maybe they had a fight

"thanks yuri ah" she whispered " i can always count on you"

tell me, tell me how can i stop loving her. even though it hurts i would never let her go, because that's my biggest fear.

pulling her closer i run my fingers through her hair, sighing. i lift up my gaze to see taeyeon in her own world with tiffany. so that's why you came to me i thought looking at jesica.

Because I was like a fool, I could only look upon you. Most likely
Because I was afraid of how your heart might change and we might grow farther apart

i'm just her second option, it really hurts me. i'm such a masochist for loving her, a fool in love. but this way i can at least hold you for second, and don't grow farther apart. i'm afraid of your rejection,i'll be happy as long as you are, even if it is not me whom makes you happy, i dont want to lose you sica ah

"jessica " i moved her lightly

"waee..."

"go to sleep in your bed, i'm tired" i said . she squeezed her eyes yawning 

"why?...  seobang" she whines "carry me"

i knew she wasn't telling me it was more like an order

sighing again, god you'll drive me crazy sica but i must do this to keep your friendship at least but what came out of my mouth wasn't what i was planning to say

"i'm not your servant" i said sharply, sometimes i hate my big mouth

"either i didnt want to." she said mad getting up going to her room

not even  minutes passed and i heard a door opening, must be taeyeon going to sica's room i thought bitterly. every time we fight she goes to taeyeon and it goes on

I was such a fool, not able to tell you I loved you. Most likely
Because I was afraid of the hurt and sadness I would receive after we meet

i dont know but i have the feeling that jessica is more masochist than i am, doesnt she get hurt every time taeyeon prefers tiffany over her. taeyeon is blind so is jessica and i. if i had money for every time jessica  would come to me hurt, it wouldn't be necessary for me to be an idol, i would be rich enough.

she never tells me what makes her sad but i know it is her

"taeyeon is my wife right boo?" said tiffany hugging taeyeon, everyone laughed, even the staff of the show we were recording. i was just pretending to laugh. this was really uncomfortable. jessica was stiff in her seat. i didn't know taeyeon would be so stupid but i was wrong

"ne and she's my phany" through the corner of my eyes i looked at jessica expression she was trying her best to keep calm, i shouldnt care about her, but she's really idiot. i know i cant go and confess to her, but at least she should trust me, i have waited enough for her to tell me about taeyeon

---------------

all the way to the dorm she was quiet and exited the van slamming hard the van's door before she could go inside i stopped her grabbing her wrist

"are you that idiot  sooyeon? do you like to get  hurt that much?" i shouted at her she bit her lip and lowered her head

"just leave me" she said trying to go

"i won't never, i'm your best friend. you should know by now that i would never let you suffer alone" i said  lifting her chin so i can look at her and wrapped my arms around her and she rest her head on me

"she's an idiot" she said sobbing

"i know" i whispered to her, rubbing her back.

If you were to come, If you were to come closer to me
What would I do? I really do now know

i'll always have a soft spot for her, it doesn't matter how many years pass by, seeing her so broken and lost, i feel like is my need to take care of her. having her close to me she needed me, but as a friend because jessica jung was someone I love very much the way some people are to be loved - from a distance

A/N nah this was not good enough, sorry.