the world is ours - tokimonsta

Sehun thought he knew what love felt like. He’d been in love before, or so he imagined, it had been at the start of his senior year of high school and it had been fast, hit him like a ton of bricks. Sehun had been young, he had been dumb, when his boyfriend first told him he was leaving to the other side of the world for school he had been ready to drop all his goals just so he could chase the love of his life. It was finally his acceptance into the school of his dreams that made him think twice about his decision, that and his boyfriend absolutely forbidding him to give up on his dreams.

Sehun sometimes doesn’t remember his old boyfriend’s face as much as he maybe should. Back then Sehun thought that he would never forget his name or his face, he thought he would always have the taste of his kisses on his tongue, thought that all he would ever want would be him but now, five years later, Sehun has a difficult time remembering if his eyes were blue or green, can’t remember if his name was Sebastian or Santiago, he was sure it was something Spanish. But maybe all of that was never love, maybe it was just he being a teenager, he’d seen it happen to everyone. Maybe he’d never tasted love, maybe he never would.

Luhan is introduced to him at a mutual friend’s birthday party, he’s light, airy, bubbly, like the really nice expensive champagne he’s sipping on, and Sehun can’t keep his eyes off him the whole night. He doesn’t really try and communicate with him as his first try ended with him slobbering his mouthful of red wine all over his expensive YSL jacket. Zitao, their friend, eyes him like he’s gone crazy and thankfully saves him by ushering him into his bedroom so he can change into something clean.

Zitao hands him a pressed white shirt and immediately shoots questions, eyes suspiciously more alive than usual, and hands fidgeting at his sides.

“So do you like, Luhan? He’s nice, right? Really smart too, he’s almost made partner in Yifan’s company.”

Sehun starts at the question, hands slowing down were they were rapidly buttoning up his shirt. He easily fixes his composure and clears his throat, he makes sure his breath is even and his voice is steady.

“Who’s that? Ohhh Luhan, uhm yeah he’s nice.”

He cringes at his tone, he can practically hear Zitao rolling his eyes, and he wants to join in as well but he keeps himself steady.

“Yeah he’s nice, single too.”

Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes, Zitao is just too transparent. Zitao pats his back as he makes his way out back to his party, he turns around once to look at Sehun and the look he shoots his way has Sehun’s mind reeling. Zitao is planning something and Sehun doesn’t even want to guess what it is.

Sehun thinks it’s really working, whatever Zitao is doing, the whole night Luhan is always somehow in his line of vision; laughing, smiling, and Sehun can’t stop looking. Sometimes, Luhan looks up at him and Sehun always looks away, red as a ripe tomato. Sehun imagines this is what falling feels like, as if he cant breathe, as if he wants to dance and sing. Sometimes he feels Luhan’s hot stare on him and Sehun doesn’t want to look up but he does anyway and he expects for Luhan to look away but he doesn’t. He keeps him locked in his stare for what feels like a lifetime, Yifan is explaining the mechanics of his breakthrough deal but now it just sounds like a sweet melody linking him to Luhan. He feels like if the whole room is buzzing with it, as if the whole world has become this sweet melody of just Luhan and him, of he and him.

A couple of weeks later as Sehun is arriving to his weekly dinner with his best friends, he feels an odd sense of nostalgia, he’s in the back of a taxi almost nodding off, when he suddenly gets a flash of blonde hair, big eyes and a face crinkling laugh. Sehun shakes it off as he hands the taxi driver a bill, he says his thanks in a numb manner trying and dreading the escape of his fantasies.

The crew at this particular restaurant knows Sehun by name and face and he easily says hello and slips past the waiting patrons and into the farthest most private table in the establishment. Sehun can already see Zitao sipping on his glass of coke and rum with a pinky high up in the air, can see Yifan sipping on his scotch and furiously typing away on his phone with one hand, he notices the rest of the gang laughing away at something Chanyeol’s said. And at the end of the table, right next to the last empty seat, is his big eyed, dashing, handsome, beautiful -Sehun shakes his head- Luhan, Luhan’s who is laughing the hardest, almost wheezing and Sehun is sure he’s never seen anything more beautiful than that. Everyone is yelling their hellos over each other and he can hear Jongdae out screaming the rest of his friends but even so all his mind has space is for the quiet hello and small smile Luhan sends his way. Sehun tries to smile at everyone but he’s sure only Luhan can see it.

That night Sehun doesn’t slobber all over himself, that night Sehun actually makes conversation, it’s suppose to be his once a week catch up with his friends but he can’t focus on anyone else. Luhan is telling him all about himself and Sehun stores every single word, every single letter in the folds of his mind. He makes note of the way Luhan touches his chest, right above his heart, when he talks about his mother and little brother, whom he only sees once a year. He notes the way the tips of his ears turn a shade of pink as he talks about himself and the buzzing in his heart is back, being helped brought about with the bottle of Hennessey they’re splitting. He finds out Luhan is a few years older and is related to Yifan and he learns that Luhan prefers reading from actual books, instead of audio or digital books.

Towards the end of the dinner they’re both more on the tipsy side talking about whether a new Pirates of the Caribbean movie is welcomed or not. Finally he notices the way Zitao and Yixing are whispering to each other and staring intently at them. Sehun suddenly stands up and Luhan is blinking up at him, eyes boring into his and Sehun reaches for him. Both standing up, Sehun sends a wink at Zitao and mentions something about taking Luhan out for pizza, completely disregarding the fact that they just ate more than they ever should, and they’re out the door before Zitao or anyone else can say anything.

The cold October air is biting into him and it is slightly sobering him up, and he almost retracts his hand from where it’s clutching at Luhan’s. Luhan smiles bright at him and Sehun relaxes again and he leads them into a neighboring ice cream parlor and orders two large scoops of ice cream, strawberry for him and chocolate for Luhan. Luhan readily digs in and Sehun watches the way his lips turn wet and pink with the coldness of the ice cream. Sehun hasn’t touched his half of the ice cream when Luhan finally notices, and when he quirks an eyebrow, Sehun immediately reaches for a spoonful of his treat.

“Whoa, slow down, tiger, you’re going to get a brain freeze.”

Sehun blushes at that and he takes another bite, a much slower, much smaller bite.

After they’re done Luhan invites him over to his apartment, which is a twenty-minute walk from where they are now, Sehun accepts the invitation and as he’s walking he’s thinking about all the possibilities, all the outcomes. He’s not really a one night stand kind of guy and can’t even possibly imagine having that with Luhan, although he’s only really known him for a day, he feels as if he wants to have everything with him. And maybe it’s because the alcohol has hindered his brain to mouth filter, but he tells him so, thankfully not the last part.

“I feel like I know you too, all of you.” Luhan responds and Sehun feels warm and happy and he wants to jump for joy, he wants to run a hundred miles, wants to curl up beside Luhan and breathe him in but instead he tightens his hold of Luhan’s hand as they take the stairs up to Luhan’s place on the fifth floor.

Luhan’s apartment is homely, plants in every corner, used coffee mugs in random corners, a fleece blanket folded neatly on one end of the sofa. It has a spectacular view of downtown and Sehun loves the feeling of everything, how he feels perched up on the moon with Luhan by his side, the city lights twinkling like bright stars.

He turns away from the view towards where Luhan is fumbling with the dirty cups he spotted earlier. “Sorry about the mess, I’ve been working double shifts with Yifan, usually he’s not as productive but since we have that big deal and that coupled with Zitao being out of town the last week has him high strung. At least Zitao is back.”

Sehun has moved over to the couch, hands twitching in his lap as he can still feel Luhan’s ghost fingers intertwined with his, he watches as Luhan settles next to him, body facing him and Sehun doesn’t know what to do with himself. Luhan moves an inch closer and Sehun gets the strongest urge to run his fingers through his hair, he wants to tighten his hands around his nape and pull him into himself until they don’t know who’s who and what is what.

As if Luhan has read his mind he inches a tad closer, hands reaching to settle on Sehun’s thigh. “I hope I’m not being too forward but….” Luhan’s suddenly half on his lap, kissing him like he’s never been kissed before, the sweet taste of chocolate on his tongue and Sehun is sure he’ll never order strawberry again, the bitter after taste of alcohol and nothing has ever tasted so beautiful.

Sehun loses all his inhibitions and pulls him closer, Luhan has his arms around his neck mouth working frantically over his, pulling away his every breath until Sehun feels he is going to lose it. Right at the brink of that Luhan pulls away and kisses him on the cheek, trailing more kisses towards his ear. “Been thinking about doing that since I first saw you.”

Sehun can’t remember his first kiss and he can’t remember the first kiss he shared with his first love but this one, this one he’ll remember forever. Every single thought has flown right out his brain and all he can think of is Luhan, Luhan’s finger dancing across his nape, Luhan’s mouth leaving scalding kisses alongside his jaw, Luhan breathing against his ear, Luhan’s eyes searching for his, pinning him down until he’s sure that heaven doesn’t exist because there can’t be anything more glorious than what he finds in those brown eyes. Sehun’s hands don’t know what to do, they’re everywhere one moment tracing up Luhan’s torso another pulling Luhan by the neck closer into him but then Luhan links his finger with his and Sehun is sure that Luhan is all he’s ever wanted, not only what he’ll ever want but everything that he didn’t know he was looking for. A day he’s known him but Sehun is sure that he’ll remember that he smells like mint and coconut, that he tastes like sunlight and happiness, that he feels strong but pliant against him. Sehun is sure that he will remember Luhan.

this was supposed to be up last night but i guess i fell asleep. thanks so much for reading this it was really just my way of coping. i wont get into it about luhan but i do wanna say that ill keep reading/writing hunhan. theyre my og otp and i cant/wont stop with the feels. again thanks.

p.s. still unedited/sorry <3333