credit to the owner of the pictures and video i use

This is the last update for this year, obviously.hehe The Christmas and New Year chapter will be in the January. I know it may be late but I just really want to include it here. Thank you again. And for my gift to all of you, the next chapter will be the talk and the make-up between them.

I dedicate this chapter to MINDARA, who create my cover photo, I was really thankful to her. And she also give me the idea of Taeyeon’s song in this chapter.

Thank you readers…..

JIYEON'S POV

I was preparing a dinner date here in Sica's pad, Krystal informs me the time of their departure, I miss her so much. I called her every day and also when I have free time in every schedule. I always check on her to know if she was okay.

I decide that I won't give her up until she wants me to. I'll fight for her in every possible way I know. I want her to be mine. I won't let Taeyeon ssi hurt her and win her back.

 I was preparing everything when I heard someone open the doors, who was that? I look at the time on my watch and I saw that it’s not time for Sica to be home. I quickly run on the front door and saw that SNSD was there, all of them, and they were shock as me.

“W-what are you doing here?” I ask them

“What are you doing here?” Taeyeon ask with an angry tone

“I was waiting for Sica, you’re not allowed in here.” I was controlling myself not to be angry when I remember again the mark in Sica neck that day

“And you are?” Taeyeon with a mocking tone

“Yes, because she give the rights.” I counterback

“WHAT THE?” Taeyeon was about to walk towards me if she wasn’t held back by her members

“Unnie, don’t.” Seohyun

“A-re y-ou two d-dating?” Yoona ask, I can the pain in her eyes, and then I realize that she was in love with Sica. What is the right answer, we’re not official but she give me three months so it means we are kind of dating, right?

“ Yes and No.” I answer to her

“What do you mean by that?” Tiffany ask carefully

“Yes because I was courting her and she give me three months to make her fall for me and no because she didn’t give me the official answer YET because I have 56 days left.” I really emphasized the YET because I want to be confident in front of them

“It’s not official so you still didn’t have an official right.” Taeyeon said with a smirk

“Yet! Because she already said that she likes me so eventually she will say that she loves me.” I said with a smirk also, I won’t let her see that I was afraid on her because I know she was Sica’s first love

“Jiyeon ssi, can we wait for her also here because we want to talk to her again.” Sooyoung ask with a respect

“O-okay. Just make yourself at home; I’m just at the kitchen cooking.” I bow to them, even though I don’t them to disturb my surprise dinner I can’t drive them away.

I walk to the kitchen and continue my preparation, I have to change my plans now that they are here, I can’t make this romantic now because they are here, but still I can be sweet to her right, I’ll have to prove to Taeyeon ssi that Sica will be mine now.

After an hour her phone rings so I rush to the living room where I left it. It was Krystal

“Krys…. Is she coming already?” I ask her excitedly

“Hello to you too unnie, yes we’re going to drop her now so be ready for your surprise.” I was smiling all the time she was saying that Sica was on the way here

“Don’t worry Krys, I’ll make sure she’s going to be surprise.” I said to her, Sica is for sure going to be surprise if she sees who’s waiting for her.

“Make sure of that, just a minute or two she’ll be there so bye. Goodluck.” She said with a a teasing tone

“Thank you for the help, I own you a lot, I don’t know how I can repay you.” I told her seriously

“Just make my unnie happy and don’t hurt her.” She replied seriously aslo

“I won’t hurt her, it’s not on my vocabulary.” I said to her seriously again

“I know, even though we just got close recently I know you won’t so I trust you.” She chuckle

“Thank you for your trust I won’t disappoint you.” I heard some click on the door

“Hey Krys she’s here already I think. Bye.” I hung up and run to the door, I saw that they also stand up from the couch

I saw her and when she looks at me, she smile and I smiled back. She runs to me and hugs me. I hug her tightly also.

“I miss you Yeon ah.” She said sweetly

“I miss you too Sica ah.”  She back away slightly from the hug but her hands still on my shoulder

“I thought you have schedule when I call you last night. You lied to me.” She pouts, I just chuckle and kiss her forehead before I hug her again, I remember that she likes being kiss on the forehead than to her lips.

“I’m sorry for lying Sica ah, I just want to surprise you, I ask Soojung for help.” I look at her in the eyes

“Tsk. Also about that, you two are getting close and I don’t like it.” She pouts even more

“Are you jealous?” I slightly back away and look at her with a grin of my face but she didn’t look at me

“I—I---” I was smiling widely

“Ehem.” Taeyeon

That’s when Sica realize that there was someone other than us, she back away from me and look at them with some expression I can’t read

“W-what are y-you doing here?” She was staring at them particularly on Taeyeon ssi or is it Tiffany ssi, they are side by side

“Unnie, can we talk?” Yoona

“No, so can get out now.” She said emotionless

“Sica Please…” Taeyeon ssi,  but Sica still have a blank look

“Di---“

 I was about to talk and told them to get out when I heard my phone vibrate, I was about to ignore it but it keeps on vibrating so I answer it

“Hello.”

“Unnie, I’m sorry if I disturb you this is important.”

“Okay spill it.” I was looking at Sica but her gaze on them didn’t falter

“Unnie, can you convince Sica unnie to talk to SNSD because it was the best way for her to heal and reduce her nightmares.”

“-----“ I was shock to hear what she wants me to do, she was mad at them as far as I know

“Unnie, it was the best and possible way to help unnie, Sica unnie listen to you. So can you please help us convince her?”

“Y-yeah.” I was force to agreed

“Thank you unnie, that’s why I want you for Sica unnie. Continue your date now. Bye.” She hung up

“Yeon ah, who’s that?” Sica look at me and I can see pain in her eyes, did talking to them can help Sica

“It was Soojung.” She pouts I chuckle even though I don’t like it

“Tsk.” She was jealous in her own sister, how cute

“I told you she was just helping me, and you know you’re the only one my eyes can see.” I smirk at her when she blush

“Sica ah, I prepare dinner and I hope you hungry. And you SNSD sunbaenim you can join us. I cook plenty.” I offer them politely

“WHAT? Yeon ah what are you doing?” she was taken aback on my offer

“Sica ah, they are here already it will be rude if we drive them away so let’s invite them for dinner, okay? Also I invited already Dara unnie and Hara unnie.” I whisper to her

“But---“she was about to whine again but I cut her off

“Sica ah…don’t be rude, it’s not so you.” I look at her with a puppy eye

“Tsk. You know I can’t say no to you.  Come eat with us. Let’s go.” she told them before she holds my hand and drags me to the kitchen

When I said that I change my plan earlier I mean I cook plenty because I don’t want to be rude even though I don’t want them here, they are Sica’s friends after all even though she was mad on them it doesn’t change the fact that they treat each other a sister, family and friends.

“You cook all of this?” Sooyoung ssi

“Ah y-yeah. Feel free to eat.” I told them

“Let’s eat. I miss your cooking Yeon ah.” Sica told me while eyeing all the dishes, I cook all her favorite Korean food

“I know, that’s why I came up with this idea, but next time can you cook for me again. I also miss your cooking.” I ask her cutely

“Eh? You want my cooking when yours was ten times better.” She said

“But I still love you cooking. Why don’t we grab all of these foods and eat at the living room, we won’t fit here in the dining area but on the living room, some in the couch while some in the floor.” I suggest it even inside I don’t want it.

I want to help Sica but I’m afraid that if I did let them talk she’ll forgive them especially her and where do I put myself if in happens.

We all prepare the foods in the living room, then Sica and I prepare the plates and utensils.

YOONA’S POV

We are eating in the living room of Sica unnie pad. I thought it was a good idea to agree with Jiyeon ssi to this because we want to talk to her but after seeing what’s in front of me, I can’t act like it doesn’t hurt me but it is.

“Unnie, do you know what makes someone stupid?” Hyunnie ask me, I turn to her and I can see her worried look

“No.” I ask with no interest at all

“It’s when you know the one you love are with someone else but you keep on staring.” I was taken aback on what she said

What she said is true but I can’t look away, even it hurt me I keep on looking at her, she was laughing and doing sweet things with Jiyeon ssi. I wish it was me, but it won’t be me. The doorbell rang suddenly

“Maybe it’s them. I’ll just go get them.” Jiyeon ssi stand up and open the door. After a minute or two Hara ah and Dara ssi was behind Jiyeon ssi.

“Unnie, are you okay now?” Hara run to Sica unnie and hug her.

“I’m okay now Hara ah. Don’t worry.” She pats her back

“How can we not worry if you fainted in the middle of your performance?” Dara ssi said worriedly

“I’m sorry Dara unnie, I know you’re the so worried most because you saw it.” Sica unnie told her

“I should be the one to apologize because I was the one you’re with you before it happen, I could have prevented it if I insist you to not perform. I knew you were not feeling well that night.” They are settled beside Sica unnie, they didn’t realize that we are here

“It’s not your fault, I insist to perform that night even you told me not. Let’s just forget about it.” She hugs Dara ssi

”Let’s eat okay?” Jiyeon ssi, then they are about to get some foods when they notice us

“Oh, unnies, you are here?” Hara ah said with a shocking tone, of  course who wouldn’t be shock seeing us here when everybody knows Sica unnie doesn’t forgive us yet

“Hello.” Dara ssi greeted us

We greet her back and they continue to talk and Sica unnie didn’t even talk to us and just continue to interact to them like we don’t exist.

JESSICA’S POV

I was talking to Dara unnie, Hara ah, and Yeon, I didn’t bother to talk to my former group even though I know 8 pair of eyes is staring at me now but I make sure not to look at them and busy myself talking to the 3.

“Sica ah, what are they doing here?” Dara unnie ask, but she whisper it only

“I don’t know, they are here when I arrive, I didn’t even realize they are here if Taengoo didn’t interrupt my talk to Yeon ah.” I whisper back

“Hey you two, what you two are whispering to each other?” Hara ask at and looking at us with suspicious look

“Nothing Hara ah, I’m just asking her about her rest on LA.” Dara unnie

“Oh okay, why don’t you tell us all about that Sica unnie, I’m curious about that also because when I call you said that you’re parents force you to do meditation.” She ask teasingly

“Yes they did Hara, it’s a good experience actually, and it makes me relax a little. But…..” I look at everyone before I continue. “It doesn’t help my situation.” I mumble it

“How are your dreams Jessi?” everyone look at her including me

“D-did everyone k-knows about it?” I was shock knowing that everyone knows now, I know Yoona and Taengoo know it because they sleep with me but the others

How? But I realize, what I expect of course they’ll know about it the other two knows

“Y-yes …” She gets nervous

“I told them Unnie when they ask me about your condition. I’m sorry unnie.” Hara said with her head down low, that give more shock that she was the one that told them

“Unnie, we just worried about you so we ask Hara ah about you and ask her for help, it’s not her fault, she also didn’t agree to help us so don’t be mad at her.” Seohyun said but my hand was turning into fist, I don’t want them to know it in the first place because it makes me weak on their eyes.

“Sica ah.” Yeon holds my hands then Dara unnie put her hands on my shoulder, it makes me calm

“Unnie, I’m sorry. You know they are my friends too.” Hara walk towards me and hug me

“Is it you that gives them my number?” She stiffen because of my question

“Y-yes, Fany unnie beg me and I just can’t say no to her because she really wants it especially because there’s a tears in the side of her eyes. I’m sorry unnie.” She hugs me tight, I understand her, I also can’t say no to her before but not now because the pain I feeling right now because of them makes me numb for all theirs cries.

“It’s okay; just inform me next time okay. You know I can’t bear to be mad at you longer.” I look into her eyes when I back away from her, I smiled at her

“That’s favoritism Sica ah.” Yeon ah interrupted us and pout cutely

“Eh? Wae?” I ask her

“Don’t you remember when you got mad at me because I prank you about cucumber, you don’t talk to me the whole day.” Yeon ah said, she cross her arm in her chest

“Because I consider her like a sister, and you’re not.” I told her, it was true I didn’t consider her as a sister because I like her

“So what am I?” she teases me while grinning widely

“Don’t show off Jiyeon ah. Tsk.” Hara said seriously but I can see her smile that she hiding

“What? What do you mean unnie?” Yeon ah ask nervously

“She mean don’t ask something like that and act lovey dovey in front of us, you know she rejected us both.” Dara unnie also said, they making fun of her

“I’m sorry.” Yeon said with a guilty face and Dara unnie and Hara ah laugh after suppressing their laugh for long

“*laughing* It was a joke Jiyeon ah.” Hara

“Hey, stop laughing both of you; don’t make fun of my Yeon.”

“My Yeon?” Tiff/Taengoo/Yoona yelled at me, I just glared at them, and then I pat Yeon’s head

“Unnie, did you decide to date her officially?” Hara ask curiously

“Huh? I ---“

The doorbell ring, yes, save by the bell, my stupid tongue. I walk on the door and open it. It was my manager unnie.

“Unnie, come in, what are you doing here?” We walk to the living room

“You have company.” She eye everyone

“Yes unnie, we’re just having dinner.” I told her to dismiss her questioning look

“Manager unnie, why don’t you eat first.” Dara unnie offer politely

“It’s okay I ate already, I’m just here to inform JJ her schedule. I know you just arrive but because you already delayed your schedule for the week we don’t have a choice but start it tomorrow a.s.a.p., is it okay with you? Is your condition okay already?” she ask me with a concern tone

“Yes unnie I can start tomorrow, what is my schedule?” Everyone just remain silent while unnie and I are talking

“You have a full pack schedule for the whole month, tomorrow at 9 am you have a fan signing on Seoul Lotte Cinema Avenual mall for your album and we also include your brand B & E. Then after that you’ll proceed to the photo shoot for Next + One magazine at 1 pm, the last will be the guesting in You Hee –Yeol’s Sketchbook, you’ll be singing two songs, one is your single and the other was a English song as they requested, I know it was sudden but we can’t do anything about it. You have to tell me the song you’ll sing so for the preparation. Then the next day you’ll be flying to Japan for the preparation of your Japanese album, but before you go, you have an appointment on your family doctor told by your mother. It was going to be thrice a week said by Mrs. Jung, and the first day will be the day after tomorrow. And I’m also here to ask you about a guesting on radio show.” She pauses and eyed again the living room.

“Unnie, I told you that Uncle will decide everything about my schedule because he knows what I want.” I told her the fact

“Yes, he informs me about that but he’s the one asking to ask you this, it was a guesting on FM date with SNSD Sunny with her member that means all of them 8? The producer said that it was a netizens request and they just asking if we can grant it.” She looks at them then me nervous

“Oh…” I side glances on them and I can see that they also want to know my answer.

“So?”

“ Unnie please accept it, I miss guesting with you.” Yoona ask me but I give her a blank look, I can see that she was hurt by my given look

“Until when they are waiting for the answer?” I ask my manager

“Until tomorrow.” Manager unnie

“I’ll give you the answer tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, so I’ll better leave and be back tomorrow before 8am to fetch you. Text me the song before you go to bed okay?”

“Okay unnie, thank you.” I usher her to the door before I came back to the living room

“Sica ah, is it really okay for you to be back with that hectic schedule?” Yeon ask me with a bothered expression

“Yeon, I told you already, I’m okay so I can handle it smoothly, so don’t worry okay?” I assured her

“But---“she was about to say something when I cut her

“Yeon ah, I told you don’t worry okay, you heard that I have an appointment with a doctor because of my condition so it means it’s going to be okay.” I pat her head

“Okay, I won’t worry anymore if you can grant me a wish.” She look at me and I have a bad feeling about this wish

“Your taking advantage of me.” I just told her even I really feeling nervous of what she’s going to ask me

“And you’re willing to be taken advantage Sica unnie if it’s Yeon.” Hara tease me, and I blush suddenly

“No I’m not.” I denied it

“Really? Prove it. Don’t grant her request now.”Dara unnie teases me also, they are dead later

“Hey, don’t say it to my princess, she may not grant my favor.” Yeon ah said like she was agreeing with them

“Don’t worry Yeon, I’ll do whatever wish is that.” I told her and smile

“Tsk. Tsk. I knew it. Sica unnie is always whipped.” Hara laugh

“No I’m not.” I glared at her but she doesn’t flinch

“Yes you are Sica, remember when you’re still together with Taeng.” Hyoyeon interrupted with a laugh and I stared at them blankly so she stays quite

“Tell me what you want Yeon.” I ask her to change the atmosphere

“I—I –can you- talk to them already?” she nervously ask me

“WHAT THE?” I shouted at her because of shock

“K-krystal inform me about y-your condition and I know talking to them and face your fears will help you a lot for those stupid nightmares of y-ours.” She was nervous, I can see it because she can’t look at me

“No, she gives you false information.” I told her coldly

“Sica ah, don’t lie, I know it already, so please for me can you just talk to them and get this over with.” She ask me and her voice is pleading

“Sica, if it’s going to help you talking them and hearing what would they tell you, why don’t you try it?” Dara unnie also pursue me

“-----------“

“Unnie…” Yoona approach me but I back away

“Sica ah, please. I’m here so you’re not alone and be afraid.” Yeon walk towards me and look me in the eyes with her smile

“I told them already and I will told you also my answer to that, I won’t hear anything about them or any explanation, so don’t push it. I was tired already so I rest first you all know the way out so feel free to go.” I walk towards my room and lock it but my tears falls again.

TIFFANY’S POV

Jessi walk out on us again, what do we have to do just for her to talk to us, I understand what she said to us on hospital that she was afraid but if she keep on being afraid it will not going to be okay, nothing will be okay.

“Jiyeon ah, what did Krystal told you about Sica?” Dara ssi ask Jiyeon ssi

“She ask me to ask Sica to talk to them because it was the best way for her to overcome the nightmares, she didn’t say anything except that. She asks me this because she knows Sica will listened to me but I failed in this.” I can see Jiyeon ssi really love Jessi

“Jiyeon ssi, we thank you for helping us talking to her.” Sooyoung ah said respectfully

“I’m sorry SNSD sumbaenim but I didn’t do it for you but for her, if you’ll ask me if I do it if not because of her condition, no I won’t because she doesn’t deserve what you have done to her, I was thinking before of helping you when Yoona ssi was here when Sica was drunk but right now, no. But if talking to you guys and probably forgiving you will help her, I’ll do my best to make her sure she’ll do it even I know it can risk my future with her.” She eye Taetae, and I can feel her madness towards her and us

“Unnies, I think we better leave her alone for now; we know she won’t come out in her room if we are here.” Hara ah told every one of us

“Yes, we better go for now and just talk to her next time, we’ll help you talk to her if it’s the best way for her nightmares.” Dara ssi

We just nod because we know we can’t do anything for now. I want to go to her and hug her because I know she was crying there, it’s her hobbit to cry when she was mad. I’ll call her later. When she was in LA with her family I call her the first time and declare that I won’t give up even she always push me away.

 I’ll do anything just for her to forgive and love me back because I believe she won’t kiss me back if she doesn’t feel anything for me. Since the day I knew her number I always txt her and call her even I was rejected or didn’t receive any reply, I’m just showing her that I’m serious in everything I say.

We arrive at the parking lot, Taetae, Sunny, and Hyoyeon’s car was our ride coming here. I was in the car of Sunny’s, the members said that I should be in Taetae car first but I insist to be in Sunny, we grow apart after I declare that I’ll be courting Jessi. We are close on cam but we are not the same off cam anymore, yes we chat but it’s not the same anymore, we hang out if we are with other member, even a one or two just not alone not like before that we always hang out with or without members because we click and wants the same.

Taetae and I relationship is as deep as my friendship with Jessi, we are best friend so it was really hard on my part making that decision to pursue Jessi. We are comfortable with each other and I know Taetae let her guard down when it comes to me, not everybody can make her do it, she was a reserve person, she doesn’t want anyone to know that she was hurting or anything, she always keep her emotion intact within herself. But I just want to let myself be happy with the one I love, is it bad?

When we reach the dorm I went straight to my room. I grab my phone and decided to call Jessi even I know she won’t pick up because of what happen earlier, I still tried. It just rang over and over again, I knew it. She really won’t pick up, I tried it in the nth times until she turn in off.

I decided to let it rest and call her tomorrow. I step out on the room and go the bathroom when I bump into Taetae, I can see her swollen eyes.

“Are you okay?” I ask her, she still my best friend so I’m worried about her

“Yes. I’m okay.” She said sarcastically

“Taetae, i’m still your best friend.”

“If you consider me as your best friend, you’ll not do this.” I know she meant about Jessi

“I j-just want to be happy.” I told her, I was hurting we are like this

“B-but you know I still love her.” She said and look into my eyes, I can see that she was also hurting because of this situation

“And I love her also, I already give way before, can’t I just chase what I love this time? Is it bad to fight for my love?” I ask her and I can see she was taken aback of my question

“--------“ She stay silent until she just walk to her room and leave me there.

The tears falls, but I continue to walk to the bathroom and do my business there, before I decided to rest. I hope someday will be okay again like before.

JESSICA’S POV

I was on my way to the Fan meeting in Lotte Theater. Last night really drain my energy, I can’t believe Yeon will request that and then I also learned that it was Krystal favor to Yeon to ask me. Why do they gang up on me when it comes to this, can they understand me that I can’t because I was afraid.

The event is almost an hour late before we start because of some problem but it was okay. I was shock for the fans that came to the Fan meeting, it was huge number of people and it was also fans coming from different countries like China and State that came to Seoul just to see me and have my autograph. I was really thankful for them for coming, they also made me cry because in the middle of the fan sign they shouted “Sica ah let’s be happy.”

And raise their slogan banner that every one of them has it. I was so touched that made me burst into tears, they all did this just to cheer me up after my departure from my former group. When the event came to end, I thank all of the fans before I proceed to my next schedule which was the photo shoot for the magazine ONE.

I was practicing my vocals while I was in the way to my next schedule. It takes an hour to arrive on my next destination so I have a time to hear the song I decided to sing later. The photo shoot was on going for the last three hours already and I was now in the break.

I was checking some picture when I heard some familiar voice.

“You really are beautiful in that picture. You really are the best when it comes to this kind of things.” Taeyeon

“What are you doing here? And how did you know that I am here.” I ask her taken aback of her presence

“I just drop by to give you this. And I have some sources.” She have a big grin in her face before she handed me a paper bag which I think a takeout food from one of my favorite restaurant because of the logo printed on the paper bag.

“I didn’t need it so just take it back.” I handed it back to her

“I know you’re lying because I bump into your manager when I’m going in earlier and she said that she’ll buy you some food because you still didn’t eat lunch but I told her not to because I already brought you some before I go here.” She held my hand and handed me the foods again

“I’ll just eat later so you better get this back.”  I handed back to her again

“No, I won’t take it back because you’ll eat now.”

She held my hand and drags me to the dressing room I occupy and lock the doors before she usher me to sit and she prepare the foods. I was about to protest when she push some foods on my mouth so I couldn’t talk and chew the food she feed me.

“Sica ah, I have to go for my schedule so you better eat this entire food okay, you are so thin. I don’t want my girlfriend to be thin. Bye.” She gives me a chase kiss on the lips before she immediately step out on the dressing room and before I can retaliate to what she said and do.

“ARHGHHH. KIM TAEYEON.” I shouted and my manager unnie appear on the door

“JJ, are you okay?” I calm myself down before I answer her yes

! I was so occupied to when she feeds me that I can’t prevent what happen and it was so fast. And Girlfriend? When did I agree to be back with her? ARGHHH…. I just continue to eat because even I don’t want that it came from her I was already starving with my long schedule for a day.

The photo shoot was taken another two hours before it came to end. And when it ends I bow and thank everyone for their hard work before I proceed to the dressing room and change to some usual attire. I have my last schedule for today in 8 pm which Sketchbook, I didn’t practice for this but because I have to retrieve my absent I have to do this even without a practice, I select a song that I know was easy for me to learn.

When I arrive at the studio I immediately put on the dressing room because in 30 minutes times it was my time to get up there and sing.

I was in the backstage waiting for my turn. It was quite long when I last step on this stage; it was for the promotion of my last album with them which is Mr. Mr. then I was called by the emcee I walk graciously on the stage.

I really want to sing this song for the person who wants me destroyed which probably most the SM. Because even my PI was investigating about the picture I have a hint that it was from them, that they actually put some person to follow her former group and take that picture. The way photo was taken it was not a member who shot it because they were complete on the photo so she was sure it was not them and they also didn’t about it. The music start

 Skyscraper

Skies are crying
I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence, as it's ending, like we never had a chance
Do you have to, make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

[Chorus]
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper