Dear Life,

Hi I’m Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun to be specific [smiles here]. I’m a graduating student in a well-known school here. Everybody thinks that I’m just a 2^nd year student just because my face and attitude doesn’t suit my age.

Well I write this letter to you because I want you to know that you are so unfair.

Look at it first I never get what I want and that is dancing though singing is my thing. Second why the hell should I feel like this just because someone leave me. And lastly why do people always pick on me? Huh! Why?

I will just share this with you okay? So please let’s keep it a secret, could you do that?

First I want to share the story of the person who left me hanging in a fight where I thought we will both face. Well here it goes. His name is Chanyeol were at the same class and his been my best friend for 6 years. And he became my boyfriend for 2 years. Yes, since 8 years we know each other really well. And here is what happened. He first texted me asking if I’m free then I said yes and he asked if we could you know meet each other then I said yes again. At first I thought this day will be like just the same date that we have but it turns out to be not. It was hell. It was hell to the point I can feel my heart broke into a million pieces. He said to me that we can’t be together anymore. I asked why. I don’t get his point on why did he just leave me when he promise me that he’ll fight all the odds that will get in their way. So I just leave him. I don’t care what people may think seeing me crying like I was a kid lost in the big city. I really want to be alone that time but it turns out I can’t because when I pass the playground Kyungsoo and his Boyfriend, Kai, saw me. I said I was ok, I was fine and I want to be alone but Kyungsoo as a good friends never believe in me and say goodbye to Kai so he can be with me. Well I can’t say I that I’m not touch or anything but the fact that my best friend leave his date so just be with me and comfort me makes me less lonely. He asked me what I happened and I told him why Chanyeol break up with me. I cried so much whenever I think about that dumb elf eared person, that Dumbyeol I used to love. I can say that my heart can be fix but I don’t know how long it will take to be one again. It’s the 3^rd day now that my Dumbyeol dump me and I still cry. Yes I do whenever I see the gifts, picture and those moments we shared. It just killed me right inside my chest. But last night he drop a message in my phone saying that we should talk today but I don’t go the meeting place instead I just stared at him far away. Yes I hide myself. I don’t want to see him. Not yet.

Second story is my stress reliever. Yes my stress reliever is dancing. I joined a cover group last 3 weeks and I enjoyed their company. They have a lot of fun though I felt like I’m out of place sometimes but I can get over it. But the problem is my parents doesn’t like the idea of it. I tried to convince them but what do I get? Hatred? Scold? There is nothing I that get but I realized that my parents doesn’t believe in me and they can’t really support me on things that I want. So I promise from this day that when I graduated and finished my study and all I join that group again and live the passion I’m wanting for 17 years though I’ not sure when I was a baby that I could dance so I expect 10 years of wanting instead? Just never mind it anyway. After that my burden, depression, loneliness and even my mood was affected. I become less lively, I can’t show my real smile and it’s always a fake one.

Sometimes I wish someone just hit my head so I can have an amnesia and forgot all of this and even the pain I have now. No memories, no pain. But I will feel incomplete if I didn’t know the story.

Last is that why would somebody give me a life in which I’m a subject of everyday bullying. I know they are my friends but you know it’s still pisses me off. I mean they know I’m a hot headed person and I can get pissed off when I heard just one word that goes out of the belt but then they still pisses me off. Aish! Jinjja?! Why do I have friends that are crazy? But nonetheless I can’t hate them or be mad at them I still love them. They make me laugh when I’m down. They feed me when I can’t feed myself and they hurt me when needed. I love them. I love Kyungsoo, Luhan, Bomi, Eunji, Taeyeon, Sooyoung, Jessica, Sunny, Chorong, Ren, Minhyun and Chanyeol scratch that last one. Yeah I love them all.

That’s all for today Dear life. Until next time.

Yours truly,

Baekhyun