Sehun and Baekhyun had been going out for nearly two and a half years now. They had met in college, and instantly hit it off. Sehun had been studying Business for some unknown reason, and Baekhyun was studying Music.

They really liked each other’s friends, to a point where their friends sometimes forgot that they were originally only friends with the other. They had a lot of fun.

Introducing each other to their families was nervewracking. Sehun had stuttered and lisped his way through dinner with Baekhyun’s family, while Baekhyun had smiled too wide and laughed too loudly when he was invited to Sehun’s mother’s birthday party. Both their families weren’t too thrilled, but had accepted it- they saw how happy the other made their child, and Sehun’s mother really liked Baekhyun. Baekhyun thought his mother would totally baby Sehun if she could, but they lived too far away for them to visit often.

At a year and a half, after Baekhyun graduated, they decided to move in together. Baekhyun had been rooming with his friend Kyungsoo at this point, but Sehun stayed over so much that Baekyun was worried it was annoying Kyungsoo. But Baekhyun couldn’t afford the key money and rent on his own, and Sehun had squealed like a girl when Baekhyun told him that he wished he could live with Sehun.

Now Sehun was studying part time as he took jobs as a male model, and Baekhyun was the singer of a band at night while giving voice and piano lessons at a music school in the day. Sehun would come to every gig, and Baekhyun always collected all the advertisements he could or bought magazines that had Sehun’s face on it.

As Baekhyun watched Sehun’s peaceful face sleeping, he knew Sehun was the best thing in his life. It was morning, and every day he would wake up happy and feeling fulfilled, an arm and also a leg (Sehun's weird habit) draped possessively over him. Baekhyun carefully swept a strand of brown hair off Sehun’s face, careful not to wake him.

Sehun was the light of his life. He completed Baekhyun, and even after all this time they still had chemistry and Baekhyun got tingly when he looked at Sehun sometimes. They both woke up at the same time, and both liked to stay up late playing games on the computer or PlayStation. Sehun was not only his boyfriend, but now was his best friend too.  And totally had an amazing . Sehun was perfect, and Baekhyun still couldn’t believe he had him.

But…

They had never said the word.

That word, that Baekhyun would write and sing about, but had never ever said to Sehun. That word, that… L word. Just thinking about it made Baekhyun break out in cold sweat.

It wasn’t entirely his fault, he thought as he closed his eyes and snuggled into Sehun. It wasn’t like Sehun had said it either.

They had come close before, like after or when the other did something exceptionally sweet.

It wasn’t like Baekhyun didn’t L word Sehun. Baekhyun liked Sehun so much it made his heart hurt. The feeling would swim through his veins when they play fought, both of them giggling deliriously as they tried to squash the other. Baekhyun would throw his arms around Sehun’s shoulders and squash his face against Sehun’s neck to inhale that fresh Sehun scent and he would be so, so in L word.

Baekhyun L worded Sehun with his entire being, And he was pretty secure about Sehun’s commitment to him. Sehun sometimes called Baekhyun his favourite while backhugging him, and Baekhyun would say it too. That was near the L word, right?

Baekhyun once had a rant to Sehun about this before they started dating. That the L word was tossed around too lightly- love meant staying with the other through thick and thin, for accepting everything about the other and genuinely prepared to do anything for the other. Every couple that broke up could not say they were in love ever, because they obviously weren’t. Love to Baekhyun was deep and unconditional.

He hadn’t proven that yet to Sehun, and Sehun that to him. Until he was as sure as the sky was blue that Sehun and him were never going to break up, he wouldn’t say it. He didn’t mind not hearing it, just as long as they showed it. Baekhyun believed in actions speaking louder than words, as he leaned over to plant a kiss on Sehun’s plump cheek.

---

It started off as a sore throat and a cough.

“I think I would rather break my arm,” moaned Baekhyun as he a cough drop and sat on the couch.

“No you wouldn’t. A broken arm might mean you need surgery,” frowned Sehun as he cut up an orange for him on the coffeetable. “You just need vitamin C. Don’t eat or drink anything sugary, you know that the bacteria from the infection in your throat will get worse if it gets sugar. Also no dairy. And no chips, they’ll scratch your throat.”

“Suho hyung,” said Baekhyun. “You’ve finally grown taller.”

“Shut up hyung,” said Sehun, rolling his eyes. “I’m trying to be nice and look out for your health. Stop talking because that will just make your throat worse. Hurry up and get better so we can kiss.”

Baekhyun let out a sad sigh and pouted as Sehun arranged the slices on a plate.

“Feed me, cheep cheep, feed me!” he squawked, his already raspy voice now hoarse making for excellent squawking. He flapped his arms for emphasis.

If this was Kyungsoo, he would have squeezed orange into his eyes. If it was Chanyeol, he would have cracked up, called Baekhyun a parrot and started copying him. Jongdae wouldn’t have been nice enough to cut up oranges in the first place.

But this was goofy Sehun.

“Cheep cheep, come here son,” said Sehun, biting the peel side of the slice and leaning toward Baekhyun. “It’s regurgitation time,” he gurgled. Or at least, what Baekhyun thought he gurgled.

Baekhyun laughed and took the slice into his own mouth before taking it out with his hand.

“Thanks Daddy,” he said, laughing at how Sehun pretended to gag at that word.

And as he leaned on the shoulder of his hot and caring boyfriend who was peppering kisses on his hairline as they watched a Zombie movie, life could get better, but he was happy if they stayed like this forever.

---

Sehun patted his back as Baekhyun gagged in the middle of a coughing fit. It had been a week, and he had gotten worse. He was coughing and choking at the same time, and Baekhyun wouldn’t be surprised if he threw up his entire mucus lining in his lungs, it was bad.

“Want me to call your boss?” asked Sehun when Baekhyun was done. Although Baekhyun had been doing his classes, he hadn’t been singing in them. His throat felt like he had swallowed a pineapple and he prayed that no one would book his band for a while.

“I’ll do it, I sound so sick he’ll have to give me time off,” he croaked, taking his phone off the night stand and flopping back onto the bed.

Today he had felt exceptionally crappy. Not only was the coughing getting worse, but felt so tired. He could feel himself coming down with the flu.

He closed his eyes after calling his boss, who had immediately given him the sick days when Baekhyun mentioned he might possibly be contagious. He listened to the sounds of Sehun getting ready, Sehun humming a song as he packed his bag and moved things around in the living room before he came back to Baekhyun’s side.

“I’ll call you when I have break time, drink lots of warm water and don’t get take out, okay? I bought things for a sandwich, so make one for lunch okay?”

Baekhyun nodded, not even bothering to open his eyes. A flu was definitely coming on. He could feel Sehun hesitate like there was more he wanted to say.

“Take care, my big baby. I’ll be thinking of you all day.”

“Me too,” Baekhyun croaked and he heard Sehun chuckle before laying a kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, and his hair.

One of the things Baekhyun liked about never saying the L word was that they had to think of better ways to say it without saying it. The L word was so overused it lost any weight.  For Sehun, who already struggled with vocabulary, hearing him say all these nice things made Baekhyun so happy. It made it real.

---

“Hyung, I can’t. Listen to me,” Baekhyun said into the phone. Or at least, said without a voice as best as possible.

“You sound like ,” agreed his guitarist Lay.

“You sing hyung,” said Baekhyun hoarsely.  “Or ask Chen. Or Luhan. Or even Chanyeol.  Anyone. All of our friends do music goddamnit.”

Lay laughed and wished him a speedy recovery.

Normally, Baekhyun loved performing, and would do anything to perform. His band was normally booked at least twice during the week, they were in hot demand in Hongdae right now. But the thought of singing and ripping his already fragile throat? Baekhyun couldn’t even get through a sentence without coughing.  And he felt like . All he did was potter around the house.

And now he had lost his voice.

---

“I think you might have laryngitis hyung,” said Sehun as Baekhyun had his head on his lap. Normally this position would have Baekhyun getting all excited, and this would have turned dirty already. But Baekhyun was not in the mood at all.

Poor Sehun. He hadn’t gotten laid in two weeks, not that he seemed to mind. Baekhyun wasn’t surprised though, every time he looked in the mirror he saw a puffy, sunken eyed frowny face looking back. He had been living in his sweatpants and tying his hair back and wearing his glasses. And the fact that Baekhyun was like, really sick. Like gross sick. Like cough up phlegm every hour sick.

Baekhyun just groaned. He had stopped talking a few days ago. It hurt too much.

“You should really see a doctor Baekhyunnie,” said Sehun, pulling the blanket  higher over Baekhyun. “You need like antibiotics or something. ”

Baekhyun weakly nodded into Sehun’s thigh, trying to stifle his coughing into Sehun’s jeans. Sehun took Baekhyun's glasses off for him, playing with them before folding them up quickly.

“I asked Suho hyung and he gave me some propolis, which is in my bag. I think you should take some. They’re like pills.”

Swallowing? Excuse Sehun, Baekhyun’s throat felt like it had been through a cheese grater. No way.  He shook his head, the denim material rubbing his cheek.

Sehun sighed and ran his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. Baekhyun turned around so his face was now looking at Sehun, and held his arms out. Sehun leant down, letting Baekhyun drape his arms around Sehun.

“My Sehunnie,” whispered Baekhyun into his ear, gently Sehun’s cheek. “I would be beyond repair if you left me, my Sehunnie.”

---

Baekhyun sat in the doctor’s office as the doctor put the stethoscope against his back.

“It sounds like there is liquid inside your lungs,” he had said, which Baekhyun wasn’t surprised to hear.

“It’s probably fine, but I want to take a chest x-ray scan to be sure- is that okay with you?” continued the doctor, which he was surprised to hear. “Do you have medical insurance?”

“He wants to take a chest x-ray,” he said into his phone, or hoarse whispered. “It’s pretty expensive, Sehun. Why doesn’t he just give me medicine already? I can’t afford all this .”

“Hyung, just do it,” said the nasal voice of Sehun through the receiver. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Sehun, I haven’t been paid for two weeks. I’ve used up all my paid sick leave, plus I haven’t been gigging.”

“Baekhyun, your health is more important. I’ll pay for it.”

“Sehu-“

Baekhyun started coughing and hacking, doubling up in the waiting lounge’s chair.

“Hyung, you are doing that scan. I’m paying for it. I’ll transfer you the money to your account right now.”

“Se-“

“Hyung, if you don’t do this, I’ll cry,” threatened Sehun. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t do this. How do you think this makes me feel? What if this was you instead of me? You would be forcing me to do this too. If that is what the doctor says you need to do than you need to do it Byun Baekhyun, I want you to do it-“

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it,” rasped Baekhyun. “Don’t cry Sehun. And don’t transfer money into my account. I can take care of it.”

“And I want to take care of you,” said Sehun.

“I’m only doing this for you,” gritted out Baekhyun.

Baekhyun was sent home with antibiotics, a throat spray and to expect a phone call somewhere in the next week or two.

---

Baekhyun sat on the floor of his balcony. It was nearly 6pm, and he stared out at the scene before him. The grey sky. The grey apartments, some of the windows starting to light up. The endless maze of roads, the cars and taxis weaving in and out.

And he could hear nothing.

All he could hear was the thumping of his own heart, and the anxiety that was crushing his head.

“Hyung? Baekhyun? Where are you?” Sehun called from inside.

Sehun must have come back from his shoot.

“Hyung? Are you here? Are you in the balcony?”

He heard Sehun step out next to him but he didn’t look up. Baekhyun didn’t want to look at Sehun. He didn’t have the strength to do anything.

“Hyung… what’s wrong?”

Sehun knelt in front of Baekhyun, taking Baekhyun’s limp hand in his. “Hyung, your hand is so cold. Let’s go inside. You’re going to be sicker.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond. He looked at their hands, his now between both of Sehun’s who was rubbing it to try warm it up.

“Hyung,” whispered Sehun. “Please.”

“Sehun,” he croaked. “I got a phonecall.”

“From who?”

“The hospital.”

Sehun was silent, before enveloping Baekhyun in his arms and trying to get him to stand up.

“Let’s go inside hyung.”

“Sehun,” he said, his hands now around a cup of tea at the dining table. “They found a spot on one of my lungs. They don’t know what it is. They want to do a biopsy on Tuesday.”

“Okay,” said Sehun, his arm around Baekhyun and kissing his temple. “It’ll be okay.”

A/N: Sehun sometimes doesn't call Baekhyun hyung because they're familiar with each other in this story. 

Sebaek is just lllloovveellyy :)

Yall snuggle up, lovebugs

This is what I mean by Baek tying up his hair btw

Tell me what you think of this chapter, and thank you for reading!

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