Four Ways To Help You Make Your Reader Stop And Stare

You know when you're reading and you come across a line so beautiful, or a description so perfect, that you have to stop and stare at it for a few minutes. A description so vivid and accurate you can see exactly who or what the author is describing. 

And then you wonder if you will ever write something as good as that. If you will ever write a line that will make a reader stop and stare. And then that line lingers in your mind. It stays with you and becomes what you remember most about that story, that character, that setting.

I want to write lines like that. And then I ask how they did it. How they created such a gorgeous line, such a prefect description. 

I found this quote on Pinterest. Yes, I spend a lot of time there.

“If I tell you my character has grey hair, you will not see her. If I tell you she has a tiny scar at the upper left corner of her lip from which protrudes one grey whisker—you will make up the rest of her face with absolute clarity. If I tell you my character is waiting in a car, you won’t be ‘caught,’ but if I tell you he pushes his fingers down in the crack of the car seat where the ancient leather has pulled away from the seat frame, and pulls up a small coin purse with a faded note in it—you will be mine.” — Pat Schneider, Writing alone and with others.

I love that, but like all things I find on Pinterest it looks easier than it is. Like the time I almost blew up my kitchen trying to make a three-ingredient recipe or the two-step DIY industrial light that I needed twelve steps and a band aid to complete. The ideas always seem simple enough, but the execution requires some practice and a few more steps. Just like the lines in this quote.

Those descriptions work so hard. How can I make mine work harder? 

1. Free write: Finding out what is unique about a person or setting or object isn’t always immediately obvious. Writing about it helps. I use paper and a pen and I write. I examine it from every angle, if it is an object I think about where it was found or if it’s a place, what happened there.
2. Write a list: To find a line that stands out I rewrite it. A million times. I fiddle with the words, I change colours, I swap verbs and I rewrite and rewrite just that line. I keep on going until I fill a page and then I go on to the next page.
3. Use a picture: I have mentioned using pictures before. If I want to describe a teacup I use as many pictures of teacups as I can find and I try to describe them all. Is it chipped? Does it have a pattern? I do the same for people and for settings.   
4. Less is more: Be careful of using too many descriptions. One strong description is worth more than three weak ones. Make sure you choose the right one. 

My current favourite line is from Dreams of Gods and Monsters by Laini Taylor, ‘Once upon a time, an angel and a devil pressed their hands to their hearts and started the apocalypse.'

And another one, from The Rock Orchard by Paula Wall, ‘When it came to men, Charlotte Belle strictly ascribed to the law of catch and release.’ 

And I could add my favourites from Janet Fitch’s White Oleander but then I’d have to copy/paste the whole book.

Here are the 51 of The Most Beautiful Sentences In Literature from Buzzfeed. Take a look.

Which lines that you've read have made you stop and stare?