How To Write Fabulous Dialogue In 4 Easy Steps

Step 1: Talking Heads

I love dialogue. It is my favourite part of writing. It is also my favourite part of reading. I often skip blocks of description, especially if there is a lot of it. This habit translates into my writing, which isn’t ideal. I love writing that shows. That is full of action and people who do things. This is what I strive for and dialogue is the easiest way for me to do it. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be discussing dialogue in detail. 

You will find an example of how I start with dialogue below. I plan as little as possible. If you know your characters well, that won’t be a problem. If you are still getting to know them, dialogue will help you to find out who they are. The first thing you'll notice about the piece is that it is a classic or even extreme example of talking heads. No setting. No body language. No description. 

I sort of do that deliberately when I write dialogue, because I want it to be able to stand on its own, and remember what I've said before about being an under-writer? It just comes out that way. I don’t want to rely on the other elements just yet. They are needed - don’t kid yourself. I can get away with this because it is a short piece, but it’ll become irritating for a whole novel. 

In short, don’t plan. Go for it, but remember dialogue has a function. It should:

1. Reveal character
2. Move the story forward
3. Add conflict and tension
4. Give information
5. Create white space. 

This is an example of a very rough first draft:

You’re not serious, are you? 
Actually, I am. 
I don’t believe you. 
You should.  
Why? 
Because, this time, it’s real. 
But you promised. 
No, we promised. You didn’t keep the promise. 
Screw you. 
No darling, not anymore. You’ve lost that privilege. 
How did you find out? 
Pass the bag, won’t you? 
No, I won’t. 
Fine, I’ll get it. 
I asked you a question. 
Does it really matter, how I found out? 
I thought we had a deal. 
I thought we had a marriage. 
Let’s talk about this. 
We just did.  

As you can see, I don’t even bother with dialogue tags. I just want to get it down as quickly as possible. 

Does the piece do the following? 

• Reveal character? Sort of, I know there is a marriage, two people.
• Move the story forward? Yes, there is definitely a ‘next scene’. She has to go somewhere after all.
• Add conflict and tension? Yes, I want to know what is going to happen next and I am asking what happened before.
• Give information? Yes, but not a whole lot.
• Create white space? Way too much white space. Yes, there is such a thing. 

EXERCISE: Use the dialogue example above and write your own version of it, with description added, in the comments below. Please keep it under 300 words. It’ll be awesome to see your writing and the variations that you come up with. 

Step 2: Layering

Please use the list below to evaluate your version. My example is below.  

Before I rewrite: 

1. I read it aloud.
2. I make sure I skip the polite stuff. Only your mother cares about your manners. I want to drop you in the middle of a conversation. No pleasantries required, unless your character is hedging.
3. I make sure I know where I am and who is speaking.
4. I check that I have used contractions and have varied, even incomplete, sentences. If your character is a well-spoken, posh university professor, he or she will speak in full sentences without contractions. The rest us, well, we don’t speak as well. We leave out words, use contractions. Your dialogue must sound real. Most of the time our speakers and their sentences are fragmented, distracted, interrupted and unsure.
5. I don’t use dialogue tags and if I have used them, I cover them. I want to see if the sentences look different, because that means they will sound like two different characters. The words must fit the age, profession and background of the speaker.  
6. I make sure there is conflict, confrontation or compromise. We shy away from conflict in real life; in fiction we don’t have to.
7. I fix any talking heads by adding setting, description, and body language.
8. I format the dialogue so that it looks like dialogue. I’ll be discussing formatting and punctuation next week.

Now here’s my example:

His wife fusses around the dressing room. Stacks of clothes lined up on the bed. She packs like she lives. Neatly. Not a wrinkle in sight. Ironed, starched, folded. It looks more like origami than clothing.
“You’re not serious, are you?”
“Actually, I am.” She turns back to the bed, folding, patting, straightening. Her feet sunk deep into the carpet.  
“I don’t believe you.” He leans against the doorjamb. His tone, carefully crafted carelessness.
“You should.” She smiles as she scurries past him.   
“Why?” he demands, arms crossed as he blocks her path to the bed.
“Because, this time it’s real.” She slips under his arm clutching another load. Tiny, fast, determined.
“But you promised.” He is whining now.
“No, we promised. You didn’t keep the promise.” She has her back to him. She shakes another sweater into submission and adds it to the pile.
“Screw you.”
“No darling, not anymore. You’ve lost that privilege.” She laughs, but it is hollow.
“How did you find out?”
“Pass the bag, won’t you?” She points to the Luis Vuitton on the top shelf.
“No, I won’t.” He folds his arms. The whine is back in his voice.
“Fine, I’ll get it.” She darts past and grabs the bag. 
“I asked you a question.” He blocks her route to the bed again.
“Does it really matter, how I found out?” She sighs and starts transferring the piles to the bag. Methodical. Shoes, pants, coat, sweaters. She has a system for everything. 
“I thought we had a deal.” He holds her arm.
“I thought we had a marriage.” She pulls her arm away and slips her feet into her shoes.
“Let’s talk about this.”
“We just did.”  She walks out the door without looking back. The Luis Vuitton clacking on its tiny wheels.

I hope this exercise and the rewriting list will help you. Don’t over-think it and have fun. In the following weeks I‘ll be discussing formatting, adverbs, and punctuation in dialogue in more detail.

Step 3: Keeping Up Appearances 

Be careful of getting yourself and your reader confused. The simpler, the better. Remember reading it aloud should be your guide. 

Punctuation in dialogue

Quotation marks:

1. The words spoken aloud are placed inside the quotation marks. Internal thoughts are not.
2. These are not used for indirect dialogue, which is used in, for example, in a diary entry or by a narrator.
3. We can use ‘single’ or “double” quotation marks. 
4. A dash can also be used, or you can leave out the quotation marks completely, but think carefully why you would want to do that. Margaret Atwood is good at no quotations marks. 
5. The most important thing is to remain consistent. 

Full stops, commas, and capital letters:

Yes, there are rules, but I would recommend that you read your dialogue aloud before deciding what goes where.

“Yes, please,” said Alice. “I would love some.” Take note: Open quotation, dialogue, comma, close quotation, verb and name, full stop. Open quotation, dialogue, full stop, close quotation. Both lines of dialogue start with caps.
Once you have established who is speaking you don’t need a tagline. 
“You are crazy.” Take note: No tagline, no comma, use a full stop instead. 

Ellipses and dashes:

Use these for interrupted dialogue or unfinished sentences.

“I never thought…” she closed her eyes and melted into his kiss.
“I just wanted to—” he tried again.
“Of course you wanted too. It’s always about what you want to do.”

Question marks and exclamation marks:

These always go inside the quotations.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I hate you!” she said.
Don’t use an exclamation mark and then write exclaimed. 

When action is involved:

“You’re a goddess.” He kissed her back.  Take note: Full stop and capital letter.
“You’re a goddess,” he said, kissing her back. Take note: Comma, no capital letter. 

Once again, the golden rule is to read it aloud. Record yourself if you have to and listen to the rhythm. A great activity is to listen to radio dramas. Think Agatha Christie with sound effects and voiceover artists. 

Format your dialogue: 

1. Each speaker must be on a new line. Their actions should be in the same paragraph. If a character speaks for several lines, try to use the tag as soon as possible, after the first line if you can, to avoid confusion.  
2. Insert quotation marks. I prefer double, but single quotations marks, a dash or even nothing is also accepted. 
3. Only words spoken aloud go inside the quotation marks.
4. Insert taglines. I use ‘said’ as often as needed. I try to avoid other verbs like admonished and exclaimed and adverbs(-ly) like angrily or happily. 
5. Use correct punctuation. These go inside the quotation marks.
6. Comma or full stop? If the verb is part of the sentence, use a comma. If not, use a full stop. 
7. Indent dialogue. No spaces between lines. 
8. Place tags and names at the appropriate place in the middle of a sentence.
9. Check for viewpoint errors. Internal thoughts can get you into trouble.

Another suggestion is to listen to the podcast of a programme like Serial. Pay attention to how they speak, especially during the interviews. Be careful of too many breaks and mmm and ahh-ing. It gets annoying. If you know of any awesome dramas or podcasts, please leave their names below. I would love to listen to some more.  

Step 4: Just Add Verbs

Adverbs tell us how something was done. You should rather try to show us how it was done. When I talk about adverbs I want you to be pay close attention to the words that end in –ly, namely adverbs of manner. Instead of using these, I want you to try to use verbs, but not any old verb will do. I want you to use strong verbs, for example, stride instead of walk, sprint or race instead of run.

Knowing which verbs to use will be easier if you know your character well. Think of the difference between a woman who strides and a woman who shuffles. Each verb creates a different person or a different scene. 

You don’t have to obliterate adverbs, but often they are redundant or could be replaced by a strong verb. Adverbs are the tequila of writing. There is no such thing as one tequila and there is no such thing as one adverb. Once you have used one, more will sneak in. Be careful.

When all is said

That said I want to talk about the word said. Said is awesome. Use it. Don’t replace it with words like admonished or exclaimed. Stephen King recommends using them only 10% of the time. It’s good advice. Said is invisible to a reader.  

Below is an example of dialogue with adverbs and verbs other than said. I used the prompt: ‘Keep your morals away from me’.

“Don’t do it.” Alice demanded angrily.
“Keep your morals away from me.” Janet said snidely as she stood over John, tightly tied up in the corner.
“You’ve never minded my morals before.” Alice retorted sarcastically.
“Well, I mind them now.” Janet said irritably as she steadied the gun, the weight of it uncomfortably heavy in her inexperienced hand.
“How inconvenient for you that I am here then.  Please, just drop the gun, Janet,” Alice said as seriously as possible. “We both know you are not going to shoot him.”
“I am going to shoot him. I hate him.” Janet said bitterly. Her eyes narrowed dangerously.  
John whimpered through his gag and pleaded with his eyes.
“You don’t hate him, you love him. You always have.” Alice said, exasperated.  
“No, you are wrong. I used to love him.” She said as she squeezed the trigger.

Now the rewrite:

I have removed adverbs and added action to show, instead of tell.

“Don’t do it.” Alice grabbed Janet’s arm.
“Keep your morals away from me.” Janet pulled away and stood in front of him, trussed up and pathetic in the corner.  She steadied the gun, the weight of it uncomfortable and heavy in her inexperienced hand.
“You’ve never minded my morals before.” Alice said, folding her arms.
“Well, I mind them now.” Janet said, as she levelled the weapon.
“How inconvenient for you that I am here then. Just, drop the gun,” Alice stood in front of Janet and took a step closer so that the gun pressed against her bone. “We both know you are not going to shoot him.”
“I am going to shoot him. I hate him.”  They watched him squirm. He whimpered through his gag.
“You don’t hate him, you love him. You always have.”
Alice shoved Janet out the way. “No, you are wrong. I used to love him,” she said as she stepped over her sister. She smiled as she squeezed the trigger.

Using action makes the story immediate. It also stops you from creating unwieldly words that your reader will have to reread. Look at your last piece of dialogue and try using an action instead of an adverb. 

Happy writing.