A/N: there are so many thing that I want to tell you but I end up standing here, looking at you in silence. Time goes by but feeling remains.

Rain water thundered down on the grass. Graves were in a perfect line, but there was a new one reading

LEE SUNGYEOL

Born: August 28th 1991

Died: October 22nd 2020

And with that, a room full of grieving family and friends. A raven haired man who was hovered over his grave, staring at the scratches in the cobblestone spelling out Sungyeol's name. Rain pattered on his face so you couldn't see if he was crying or not, but by the redness of his cheeks and the pain in his eyes, he was clearly hurt. He dropped to his knees weakly. Splashing his knees with mud. "Why do you leave me, Yeol?" he sobbed ."Why you leave me without letting me tell you how much I love you, how much I miss you, how hard I try to live without you." he cries in between sniffling. "and now I feel like I'm missing a part." he just stared at the grave. Then after a few painful seconds, he started digging. His fingers sunk into the mud and he threw the moist ground behind him. The rain got heavier. He dug and dug, his finger nails filling with dirt until he hit the wooden box that contained the body. The coffin had been closed throughout the funeral, but Myungsoo just felt like he had to see him, a very last time before he left him. He swung open the coffin, he hadn't deformed yet. He was exactly as he remembered him, but with a smile across his face. Myungsoo grabbed his hand and cried. Rain fell on Sungyeol's face, making him look like he was crying like he would be if he was living.

Myungsoo gasped as his eyes shot open. Cold sweat was dropped down his handsome face. His heart was beating so fast against his chest. Myungsoo quickly glances to his side. Sungyeol was laying motionlessly on the hospital white bed. The heart monitor show the up and down line which means Sungyeol was on stabil condition. Myungsoo sighed in relief. "Fortunately that's just a dream."

Myungsoo got up from the sofa where he was lying before and walks toward Sungyeol's bed. He scans Sungyeol's face carefully. Even though his face was covered with many life sustain but it's not make his handsomeness decrease. Myungsoo gently touches his cheek. Many years had passed but for Myungsoo, he is still his adorable choding. Myungsoo had been staying in the hospital for a week already since he came back from Osaka. He never leave Sungyeol's side, except for toilet, take a bath on staff's dorm in the hospital area, and for having his meal in the hospital cafetaria. Seems he wanted to pay those past fourteen years when he was away from Sungyeol. He doesn't care even Sungyeol's parents feel strange with his presence. They never knew him before. He doesn't care even he knows Sungyeol has Woohyun. He had to admit Woohyun is the best fiance for Sungyeol and he was glad that Sungyeol chose Woohyun. Does he really glad? If he does, then why did his heart ach? No, he was lying to himself. The fact is he wished that man was him not Woohyun. He wished that he is the one who filled Sungyeol's day. But that's not the point anymore. The most important thing right now is Sungyeol's health. And Myungsoo willing to do anything even to sacrifice his own life.

Myungsoo leans down and kisses Sungyeol's cheek lovingly. He sighs, his hand still holding on Sungyeol's hand, Sungyeol didn't give any reaction at all.

"Yeol-ah, what are we gonna talk today?" Myungsoo started the conversation. "Um... do you remember when we dance under the rain after school? And you ended up got heavy flu. Hehe. Mianhe for that." Myungsoo chuckled, flashing back to that moment.

Flashback

"That's mean I go home by myself again?" Sunggyu groaned annoyingly. Sungyeol chuckles at his friend.

"Mianhe, Gyu. You know it's so rare I could go out with Myungsoo. This is my golden opportunity. Pleaseeee." Sungyeol begs him with his puppy eyes. Sungyeol knew Sunggyu so well. He has weak heart. He would never able to resist Sungyeol's cuteness. 

"Arasso, arasso, no need to give me that disgusting face. Falling in love really make you look insane." Sunggyu pouts.

"Pssttt... don't say it out loud, Gyu. I will get trouble if someone heard you." Sungyeol covered Sunggyu's mouth.

"Then how long do you plan to hide this one sided love?"

Sungyeol shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe until I'm sure with my own feeling, Myungsoo's feeling, and..." Sungyeol sighs deeply. "Gyu... I just don't know. For now, let me be with him, let me enjoy my feeling admiring him with my own way."

Sunggyu shooks his head. "Love is very complicated. I will always wish you luck."

Sungyeol smiles widely, hugging Sunggyu tightly. "Gumawo, Gyu. You're really my bestfriend."

"Ya, just go to him before I kick your ." Sunggyu scolds which only got a laugh from Sungyeol.

"See you then, Gyu. Bye." Sungyeol waves, running towards Myungsoo who had been waiting for him in school entrance. 

"Sorry to make you wait. I have to convince Gyu to let me go with you." Sungyeol said once he approached Myungsoo.

"Looks like you have a very good relationship with that hamster boy." Myungsoo said flatly.

"Yeah, I've known him since I'm six. We grew up together, spending time together. I've taken him as my brother." Sungyeol explains.

"Good then, I hope he would take you as brother too, no more than that."

"What do you mean, Myung?" Sungyeol tilts his head.

"No, it's nothing. Come on, I will take you somewhere." Myungsoo said, walking away.

They walk around the town. Myungsoo takes him to buy some painting stuff then Sungyeol takes him to his favourite cafe. 

"This cafe is my favourite place. I used to come with Sunggyu." Sungeol said as they took a seat.

Myungsoo glances around. "The layout was unique and cozy. The view is also beautiful." He comments.

"Do you think so? Asaa... I know you will like it." Sungyeol said excitedly.

Myungsoo chuckles. "Do you always full with energy like this, Yeol?"

Sungyeol blushed a little. "Sorry, I'm just too excited."

"Don't worry, I like it. Looks like you have a very good time enjoying your life. It's so different with me."

"Why? Do you not enjoy your life?" Sungyeol asked.

"I don't even know when the last time I hang out to a public place like this. Maybe because I was too busy moving from one place to another."

"What's your father do?" 

"He is a diplomat. We often move from place to place. Japan, China, Thailand, Fillipines, Myanmar and many other places. We never stayed at one place more than a year. That's why I only have few friends."

"It must be hard for you. You have to adjust yourself over and over again." 

"I'm used to it. The good side is I can speak many language."

"Really? Cool. Can you teach me then?" Sungyeol looks excited. "I'm always interest with language."

"Sure. What language do you want to learn?"

Sungyeol his chin, thinking. "Um... how about Japanesse?"

"Of course, why do you choose Japan?"

"Because I like Japan so much. That's a beautiful country and I will visit there someday."

"Really? I like Japan too, especially Osaka. My biggest dream is to open a small gallery there."

"Then I will often visit your gallery and buy many of your picture. But you have to give me big discount, okay?" Sungyeol jokes. Myungsoo chuckles at his comment. 

They are talking so many things as they ejoying their coffee. People said time is so short for them who rejoice. Without they realize, it's already raining outside there. 

"Ugh, it's raining. How can we go home?" Sungyeol pouts, glancing out.

"What a beautiful rain." Myungsoo mumbles.

Sungyeol sighs. "I think I talk to a wrong man. I forgot that you are a rain maniac." 

Myungsoo laughs. "What did you call me? Rain maniac? How could you call me that? Rain is beautiful thing. It gives life to human beings, maintain water supplies and become the source of energy."

"Arasso, arasso, Mr. Professor. Now, my question is how we go home? Can you answer that simple question?" Sungyeol glares at him.

Myungsoo stays silent for a while, "I have an idea." 

"What idea?"

Myungsoo smiles widely, "Come with me." He grabs Sungyeol's hand and drags him out. Sungyeol just following him cluelessly. But what happen a moment later makes Sungyeol more surprised.

"Kyaaa.... so this is what you called good idea? Now I'm all wet." Sungyeol groaned when Myungsoo pulled him out. They are now standing in front of the cafe with the rain was pouring on them. 

"Enjoy it, Yeol. I bet you will love it." Myungsoo said, spreading out his hands with his head facing up the sky. Sungyeol narrowed his eyes on Myungsoo, the heavy rain makes his vision a bit blurry. Sungyeol copied Myungsoo, trying to enjoy the rain. A moment later, Sungyeol was really absorbed by the rain. He even doing something crazy. He started to move his body around, dancing. Myungsoo glances to his side, now it's Myungsoo turn to feel surprised. 

"What are you doing, Yeol?" 

"Like you said, enjoying the rain." Sungyeol said, still moving his body here and there. "You are right, Myung. Rain makes me feel romantic."

"I know I know, but you don't need to dance like that. Now people start to stare at us."

"Who cares, now Myung, come on, let's dance together." Sungyeol said, grabbing Myungsoo's hand. At first, Myungsoo was refused but then he slowly joined Sungyeol dancing. They are dancing together under the rain. When the other people are busy avoiding rain, there they are, dancing crazily under the rain.

End of flashback

"You know, Yeol. That moment is the most beautiful moment in my life. You're the second person who I can share with after Minam. But different with Minam, I felt something more than friend with you, I don't know why. Is this love? Since that day, I fell for you more and more. But a popular man like you make me afraid to tell you that I like you, so I decided to hide my feeling. For the first time in my life, I was afraid to lose someone." Myungsoo can't stop talking even though Sungyeol can't answer him yet. But he was sure that Sungyeol heard everything that he said. 

"There's so many things that I haven't tell you yet and there are so many misunderstanding between us. But I promise, I will explain to you slowly one by one, please give me time." Myungsoo said, lifting Sungyeol's hand and kissed it. "I love you, I really really love you, Lee Sungyeol."

Myungsoo confessed out loud. How good if he could say those words earlier. He really wants Sungyeol to reply it, even if it's a refusal. He only wants Sungyeol to wake up.

"Please, wake up, Yeol." Myungsoo rested his head next to Sungyeol's hand. Less he knew, someone was watching on him since before.

Woohyun POV

I froze at my place, listening on Myungsoo's story. What he told was exactly same with what Sungyeol wrote in his diary. Sungyeol loves him and so does he, but in different point of view. In one hand Sungyeol was wondering how Myungsoo felt towards him, and in the other hand, Myungsoo was too afraid to tell Sungyeol about his feeling. Oh, God, what's this? Is this some of Your game? And how about me? Do you want me to take part of their game too? This is too hard for me. Just call me ridiculous, but really, for now I feel like I already lost from Myungsoo. Not only because I don't know that Sungyeol didn't like Geography, but also I never did everything that he did with Myungsoo. Maybe I have Sungyeol's present. But one thing that I never have, his memories.

I stare down at a pink book on my hand.

'I don't have rights to read this book. You're his fiance, Hyun. You can keep it. But whatever he wrote inside there, that's his feeling. You can't judge him. If you love him, you have to accept him whole-heartedly no matter what he felt about me. Everyone has their own secret. Maybe I used to fill his past, but you're his future.'

That's what he said when he gave me back this diary. What a cool man. But that's so different from what I saw. He lied to me. Myungsoo loves him. Myungsoo loves him so much, maybe his love is bigger than mine. No, I love Sungyeol too. I love him with all my heart. I will do better than him. I will catch up my lag. And maybe this diary could help me. My eyes landed back to the pink diary. I slowly open the page by page until I found the neatly written words.

I’ve learned the hard way that no matter how badly your soul wants something.. Whether you get it or not.. You have to fight for it.Forever.If you don’t.. You’ll never know what you could have had, or you’ll lose the best thing fate had ever given you.

I close the book. Yeah, I will fight for you, Yeol. No matter how hard it is, I will fight. I know I can't do what Myungsoo did with you in the past but I can give you a better future. I promise.