The rookies go on numerous radio shows, variety shows, music shows, interviews of all sorts. Heechul watches them, sometimes. When he’s not busy, he’ll flip through the channels, and watch the five boys give their nervous answers to the questions being asked. If anyone questions him, he tells him he wants to see what the rookies are like, see if they’re keeping up a good image for their company, and no one bothers him about it again. There’s one radio show in particular that sets off a series of questions in the interviews that follow, and the situation makes Heechul feel both sick and annoyed.

They’re asked about their families. Heechul watches the stream, watches the five boys talk about their parents or siblings, and he watches as the maknae is unable to answer the first time he’s asked. The kid gets all choked up, and they skip him for the time being, only to come back to him and have him lower his head and laugh lightly at the tears in his own eyes.

He talks about his mom, and his grandparents. Says how he misses them, how he loves them, and how he’s praying for them.

The same generic bull that makes Heechul roll his eyes.

When he’s asked about his father, however, Heechul becomes interested. Except the boy looks surprised, and then he bites his lip, and he looks almost upset before he starts laughing nervously, “Uh, pass.”

s look a bit surprised, as if he hasn’t told them much about his family, and Heechul wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Maybe he’s embarrassed, or maybe he just doesn’t like talking about it.

Either way, the kid should have realized that it would be brought up again.

So there are other interviews, other radio shows, other television programs, and he’s questioned about it. Why did he want to pass? Why didn’t he say anything to his father? What’s so different about Lee Taemin that he doesn’t want to talk about his father?

Heechul almost feels bad, but he pushes the feelings away, because Lee Taemin is not his problem.

There’s one instance where Taemin finally just says, “I don’t know my father.”

s don’t look surprised this time; he’s probably told them by now.

When he’s questioned further, when he’s asked why, he smiles and says, “I just don’t.”

News articles are written, column after column of how SHINee’s maknae doesn’t know his father. Articles about how he’s illegitimate, how he and his mother lived with his grandparents most of his life, how his father isn’t in the picture, to the point where he doesn’t know who his father is.

But there’s something in the way Taemin looks at the cameras and answers the questions that tell Heechul that he does know, that this rookie knows Heechul’s darkest secret, and it tears the singer apart, breaks him down.

He doesn’t let it show; doesn’t let anyone know about his drunken night in high school. He doesn’t even talk to the teenager, because he’s not his problem.

The articles that judge his upbringing don’t faze Taemin, because he loves his family. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with living with his grandparents, with his mother’s age, or his lack of relationship with his father. Every family is different, so what’s so wrong with his? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with his family, because he loves them, and he wouldn’t trade them for the world.

There’s one instance, though, where SHINee are walking in a crowd. There are fancams of it, so many fancams and fan accounts, and they make Heechul’s blood boil.

People calling the boy a bastard. Hurling harsh words at this child; mocking and insulting the boy for something he has no control over. People calling the boy’s mother a , a , and so many other harsh names that make Taemin clench his fists, and a manager put a heavy hand on the boy’s shoulder to pull him back in the right direction, because Taemin looks like he’s about to punch someone, knock them out, if he can.

Heechul doesn’t care; it doesn’t matter to him if people call this kid and his mother names, he only cares that this kid, this rookie, almost lost it in public. He needs to be more careful, he needs to not listen to what other people say. Someone clearly forgot to mention that to the rookie. That, or he just didn’t care in that moment.

But Heechul doesn’t care. Heechul doesn’t care at all.

Taemin’s fifteen now, and SHINee are winning awards and becoming more well known. They all revel in the fame; soak up all the recognition and praise. This is what they worked so hard for, this is what they wanted. This is what they’re being rewarded for.

They’re thrown a party for one of their wins. Their rookie of the year awards are apparently quite amazing, and everyone wants to celebrate.

Heechul is forced to go. They’re not just celebrating SHINee, anyways, they’re celebrating the success of the whole year, but SHINee seems to be their honored guests, since they’re rookies. The families of the rookies are there, and Heechul feels his stomach churn when a certain family member notices him. The rookies aren’t even here yet, but the man is walking over to him, shaking his hand firmly, a knowing look in his eyes as he addresses Heechul in front of his group mates.

“Kim Heechul, it’s been a long time.” Taemin’s grandfather is shaking his hand, talking to him, and Heechul swallows hard before he stares indifferently at the man.

“It has been a long time, hasn’t it?” Heechul replies, and he feels his knees start to shake at the possibility of this man spilling his fifteen year old secret in front of practically the entire company.

“You know him?” A member questions, and Heechul nods quickly.

“I went to school with his daughter. We used to be friends, before she moved away.” Heechul says too much, he can tell he’s said too much, but he can’t stop his mouth, “I didn’t realize he was her son.”

The man is staring hard at him, his eyes calculating, “She told Taemin about you when he was younger, about how you wanted to be a singer. Then you debuted, and he was dead set on SM Entertainment.”

The kid knows. Taemin knows, and he’s been here for years. His kid has known for years, apparently, long before he joined SM, and the thoughts are a mess in his head because Heechul’s son knows who he is and she wasn’t supposed to tell him and he knows, Taemin knows.

The members and people around him all find it funny, cute even, how Heechul is apparently the reason Taemin joined their company.

It makes Heechul feel sick to his stomach.

He can tell the man wants to say more, wants to out Heechul, wants everyone to know what Heechul did to his daughter and his grandson.

But the rookies come in before he can, and Heechul sees the boy run by in a blur before he’s hugging the man in front of him tightly.

“Papa!” The word is familiar, full of emotion, and Heechul feels a pang of jealousy at the affectionate term the boy uses for his grandfather.

When the man doesn’t hug back with as much enthusiasm as normal, Taemin looks up at his grandfather, his face twisted in confusion. He turns and looks at the people around them, his eyes falling on Heechul before he turns back to his grandfather.

The man looks like he’s going to say something again, but before he can utter a word from his partially open mouth, Taemin speaks quickly, “Papa! I want you to meet Jinki hyung; you haven’t met him yet!”

The man looks at his grandson, “I thought I met him when you debuted?”

Taemin rolls his eyes in fashion so similar to Heechul, “Shaking his hand and saying, “Congratulations,” hardly counts, papa, you gotta actually talk to him! Come on!” Taemin drags the man away quickly, whispering not so quietly up into his ear, “Don’t tell anyone, but he’s my favorite.”

Heechul can tell he only did it to get a rise out of s, because he’s laughing at their expressions when he brings his grandfather and grandmother to actually meet the rest of his group.

Taemin knows, Taemin knows, Taemin knows.

 That’s all that Heechul can wrap his mind around. Taemin knows about him, Taemin apparently knows everything, or at least enough to act fast enough to stop his grandfather from saying anything too personal.

Taemin knows, and Heechul can’t help but watch him the rest of the night.

Taemin questions where his mother is, looking around the room while he sits between his grandparents. He looks upset, worried, and he glances at Heechul every now and again with an anxious look on his face. He’s told that she’s going to be late, had to work a double shift at the hospital today, and Taemin nods. Heechul notes that he doesn’t look surprised, and wonders if she worked a lot when he was younger.

He doesn’t care. Their family problems are not his problems, because they’re not his family. This child is not his responsibility, so he doesn’t care.

Heechul sees her hurry in a little while later, but no one else seems to notice. She looks beautiful, just like she did when they were in high school. She’s aged, but not much. She still looks like her old firecracker self, and he can’t help but stare as she walks up behind her son and covers his eyes with her hands.

“Guess who?” She smiles next to his ear, and the grin on his face is wide while he bites his lip, laughing. He holds her hands in his, pulling them down around his neck as he turns in his seat to smile brightly at her.

“Mom,” He whines, but playfully. She holds onto him, smiling into his hair and telling him how proud she is of him.

Heechul watches them interact. He watches as she cards her fingers through his hair, as he complains playfully that she’s messing up his hair, as they laugh quietly with each other in the same mischievous way the two of them used to laugh together. They used to be like that, mischievous, when they would go to parties, and play beer pong, and have without a like two stupid teenagers who didn’t know what they were doing. But the way she’s mischievous with Taemin is completely different; it’s like they know everything in the world, and they’re keeping secrets from people. They are, he supposes. They’re keeping a huge secret from the world; his secret.

He looks away before she’s being pulled over by someone who heard his conversation with Taemin’s grandfather, about how the two of them used to be friends in school. She looks nervous, but smiles anyway. They talk civilly, discussing things like high school and jobs, before Heechul looks over her shoulder to see Taemin staring at the two of them with an anxious look on his face. Heechul stares at her, narrowing his eyes before smirking almost angrily at her.

“You told him about me?” He questions, because he’s angry, because she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.

“I told him about my friend named Heechul who wanted to be a singer.” She says, her eyes narrowed, “Then you debuted a few years later, and he came home from school one day and said, “Mommy, I wanna audition for SM Entertainment.” I’m sure you can imagine my surprise.”

“And you obviously said yes.” Heechul accuses her.

“No,” She says, almost harshly, “I told him no, and not to question my decision.”

“Oh yeah? Then how is he here?” Heechul asks.

“He has my father wrapped around his little finger; has since he was practically an infant.” She informs him, “But I can’t stop him from doing what he loves, and if that’s dancing, then by all means, I’m going to let my child dance.”

The emotion in her eyes is fierce, but Heechul won’t back down from it.

“They’re close, then? Him and his grandfather?” Heechul questions.

“Extremely.” She answers.

“He calls him papa.” Heechul says, his eyes narrowed.

“Mom?” Taemin half calls from his seat, getting nervous about the way the two are talking to each other.

She scoffs, “Lots of children call their grandfather papa, it’s not that big of a deal. If you’re jealous-“

“Why would I be jealous?” He seethes, looking around to see if anyone heard her.

“Moooom?” Taemin whines, because he can see the two are getting agitated, and it’s making him more and more anxious with each passing second.

“We used to be friends, and now I have a son, and you don’t know him-“

“Mom!” She’s cut off by the tugging at her sleeve and the hug she’s wrapped in by her son, “Mom, I have lots to tell you and you’re not even sitting with me and I missed you and you’re over here and you’re not with me-“

She cuts him off by putting a hand over his mouth, quite used to his rambling to distract her, “Mommy will be over to sit with you in a second, baby.”

“Mooooooom, I’ve been waiting for-e-ver,” He drags out the last word, pouting, “I missed you what about me huh am I not special anymore mommy why are you not-“

Her hand is once again clamped over his mouth, but he’s smirking triumphantly behind her hand as she drags him back to his seat.

“Mooooooooom,” His whine is muffled from behind her hand, and she rolls her eyes.

“You’re being annoying, Taeminnie.” She tells him in a warning voice, but he only smiles smugly at her.

“It’s my job to be annoying, did you forget? Maybe I should remind you.” He suggests, an evil glint in his eyes, and she almost groans at the idea.

Heechul has to admit that the kid is good at distracting other people. He can only imagine what she would have brought up had Taemin not intervened.