“The heart wants what it wants.” Junhong says sadly. “My hearts wants you, but your heart wants him.” His lips tugs into a small smile while his yearning eyes gazed into Young Jae’s. “And I understand. You don’t need to be sorry about anything.” His hand comes up to cup the side of Young Jae’s face, his thumb gently brushing away a tear. “The heart wants what it wants, and I can’t change that.” His voice is just a whisper now. “But can I ask that you never forget what we had. Even if it was just for a fleeting moment, it meant a lot to me.” Junhong looks into Young Jae’s eyes. “Even if it didn’t mean anything to you, can you just lie to me and said it did. I just want to matter to someone for once.”

            “You matter to me.” Young Jae confesses with a soft voice. “You matter. But…”

            “But not enough.” Junhong finishes with a sad smile. “And I understand.” He leans his forehead on Young Jae’s. He takes a trembling breath unfortunately taking in a breath full of Young Jae’s natural scent. The scent that he has learned to love so much.

            “Junhong-ah…”

            “Shhh…” Junhong hushes Young Jae quietly. “Just…” Junhong can’t help the tears that escaped him. “Leave me with something good to remember us by.”

            And with that Junhong leans forward and gently meets Young Jae’s soft lips with his own. It’s soft, and loving, and everything that JB isn’t. It’s everything that it should be but not what Young Jae wants. Not who Young Jae wants. When Junhong gets no response, he decides this is the best he’ll ever get at a goodbye kiss. He finally pulls away from Young Jae.

            “I’ll see you around Jae.” Junhong whispers on his lips before turning and walking away. He’s stopped when he feels a tug on the back of his shirt. The sudden warmth of Young Jae’s arms around his waist causes his heart to race and pound on the inside of his chest. He feels as if it’s about to explode. It hurts. It hurts so much. His hands come up to Young Jae’s and gently holds them. He could feel the tears from Young Jae soaking up his back.

            “You’re making it really hard for me to leave.” Junhong says through tears of his own.

            There’s a long moment before Young Jae breaks the silence.

            “You deserve better than me.” Young Jae mumbles into Junhong’s back. “I’m broken, tainted, and unworthy of having someone like you care for me.” Young Jae’s fists clench onto Junhong’s shirt one last time. “I don’t deserve to love you.”

            Junhong bites back the sob that almost escapes him. “You’re right. You’re broken. You don’t deserve me because you need someone stronger than me to help you put yourself back together. I’m a child. I don’t have the strength or knowledge to help you. To support you.” He gently peels Young Jae’s fingers off of him. He knows if he doesn’t leave now, he’ll never leave.

            “Goodbye, my love.”