- Chapter Eight - "His fears."

Leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom, Jaejoong was smiling while watching his wife talking to the viewfinder of their camera which she was holding in her right hand.

Since the beginning of her pregnancy, Hana has recorded her every day, hoping to let some advices to their little peanut, the name that she had given to the little one in her womb after seeing the first sonography of their child. Doctors had said that the fetus was perfect. They didn't find anything abnormal. Little peanut's body was developed normally and all the exams they did showed them that Hana's sickness didn't affect the fetus for now.

And it was a relief for everyone.

At the second sonography, they knew that they were expecting a baby girl. Jaejoong was happy to know that he was going to be a father of a little girl who will surely look like his wife when she will grow up, while Hana was sulking a bit. She wanted a little boy who would carry on onto the name Kim in the near future. But at the end, she could not see Jaejoong's life without their little girl.

"As I was saying, baby-ah don't freak out when you see your papa kissing someone else than me, your mama. Because I'm not here by his side anymore." She said with a smile. "Your papa is a good man and deserves to find happiness with someone else." Hana leaned a bit to the camera and put her hand on the right corner of , as if she was going to confide a secret with their future child. "Don't freak out if you see your papa kissing another man. Mostly if that man names Jung Yunho. He's a good man. I think you will like him. He's good with children."

"Ha-chan." Jaejoong scolded her from the threshold of their bed room.

"Oops! Your papa is angry." She said, sticking out her tongue playfully. "But little peanut, you have to be cool when you see them kissing. Because that man Jung Yunho will be someone important in your life." Hana added seriously at the camera.

"Don't teach our daughter things like that." Jaejoong added, walking to the bed and snatched away the camera from her hand. "Baby-ah! Don't listen to your mama. She's a bit foolish. I think it's her hormones." He sighed, shaking his head in front of the camera's viewfinder. "To tell you the truth, she's always like that since I met her. Hormones or not."

"If I'm a bit foolish, you're no better than me." Hana hit his back playfully with a pillow.

"And why you call our baby girl little peanut? I thought we had decided to call her Capucine Hanlyeon." Jaejoong turned to look at his wife.

"Don't know why? But since I saw her first sonography, she looked like a little peanut so... she became little peanut." She shrugged.

"That's why I said your mama is a bit... aww! Stop that." Jaejoong complained at the Hana gave him on his back.

"Stop calling me names Mister pretty boy." She hissed playfully.

"Well, I can say that I'm more pretty than you." Jaejoong snickered.

"Argh! You're supposed to call me beautiful or pretty little lamb." Hana pouted, crossing her arms over her round belly.

Jaejoong rolled up his eyes and turned the camera towards his wife. "Look at your mama baby girl. Isn't she pretty? Well, men would not find her at their tastes but mine..." The man turned the camera to him and added, "...would it mean that I'm a bit weird to find her at my taste?" He frowned.

"I'm not ugly." Hana complained while hitting her husband slowly with the pillow with the little strength she had. As for Jaejoong, he was smiling at her indignation which wasn't really one. "People find me y with my long and slender legs. My eyes are beautiful. Look, hazel blue! Every girl would die to have those eyes! And don't forget this!" She palmed her s. Being pregnant, she gained not only a size but two and she was thinking that God was lenient to her, letting her know how it was to have a nice rack before her death. "Thanks God! They don't look like two apples anymore."

And Jaejoong could only burst into laughter.

"You know I like your apples." He said still chuckling and recording his wife who was feeling her with a delightful smile on her lips.

"You didn't complain when they turned to be melons." Hana said playfully.

"No man would complain to have melon than apple."

"ert husband of mine." She laughed softly. "Oppa?"

"Hmm?"

"You think I will keep them after Cap's birth?"

"Hmm... All my noonas who have given birth to their first child said that their fill their bras more than before. So yes you will keep them after Cap's birth."

"Cool!" Hana grinned. "You will have melon from now on."

And again Jaejoong laughed at his wife's words, while Hana looked at him with a smile on her lips. She was happy to see Jaejoong laughing to his heart's content instead of worrying about her all the time, monitoring her every move and planning her daily routine hoping to minimize her strength.

"Ooh!"

Jaejoong stopped laughing and turned to look at his wife who was frowning with her hands on her protruding stomach.

"Are you okay?" He asked a bit panicked. But when Hana took his hand to press it on her round belly, he felt a movement. Jaejoong looked up at his wife with a smile. "A kick..."

"Yes." She nodded.

Their baby girl's first kicks. They were worried about the baby not moving inside her since she was at her sixth month of pregnancy. Doctors didn't find anything to worry. But the future new parents could not help but worry that their daughter would never make it into the end. And mostly all Hana's efforts would be in vain.

"Looks like she will become a football player." Jaejoong said with a genuine smile, happy to feel his daughter for the first time. "I know someone will be happy about knowing that..."

Hana knew to whom Jaejoong was referring to. Kim Junsu. "Yes he will..." She said slowly. "And what if she becomes a ballerina?"

"Hmm... She can be one too."

"It will be good if she has the best dancer to teach her how to dance. Right?"

Jaejoong laughed softly knowing who she was referring to. "Will he be okay with that?" He asked with a smile.

"Of course! He's going to be her godfather, no?"

"Will he be okay with that too?"

"He will. Yunho oppa will never say no to you."

"It was in the past." The man said quietly with a nod. "You don't eat much," Jaejoong added not wanting to think much of his ex-lover. "So, she won't be a food monster like that maknae of mine." He smiled.

"Hope so! It's not good for a girl to eat a lot. Our organism isn't like you. We store what we doesn't want here!" Hana pointed at her thighs with a grimace. "She will be so round that people will see her as a ball."

"You're so graphic." Jaejoong shook his head slightly with an amused smile on his lips.

"Because I'm an artist!"

"Yeah! I like your paintings."

"It's a pity that the scent of the turpentine makes me feel sick." She said with a smile. "You think your parents will like one of my former project for college?"

"They will."

"Should I send one for them?" Hana asked slowly, discarding his soft raven hair with her frail and skinny fingers.

"We will give it to them in person." He said with a sad smile.

"Yeah... It will be better..."

Jaejoong pressed his face on her round belly, trying to hide his sadness. Every time they talked about their future projects, they did it as if Hana wasn't sick and that she would be still there after the birth of their child.

Was it delusional of their part?

But, they only knew one thing. Trying not to think of that day which seemed so close.

"She will be with us soon. I can't wait to see her for the first time." Hana stated in a low voice.

Jaejoong closed his eyes and let Hana blabber about the arrival of their child. He wasn't going to say anything. He just felt useless as days passed by.

What was he going to do when that time comes?

"Hey? You're so quiet." Hana said, running her fingers through her husband's hair. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing." He answered quietly.

"Everything will be alright."

"If you say so..."

"I want her to look like you..." She stated suddenly, wanting to lighten the mood between them. "She's going to be the most beautiful baby in this world. Then, years after, she will be the most beautiful woman in this world. Just imagine your little girl being the most wanted girl in this world." Hana added, feeling proud of being the mother of their baby who will be born soon. Another month to wait and they will see her.

"Well, looking at me she could only be beautiful." He said, teasing his wife. "God! I don't want my baby girl wooing by some s in this world." Jaejoong added, being the possessive father he always wanted to be.

Hana laughed softly. "You were an in the eyes of my father."

"Yeah..." Jaejoong smiled. "He wasn't fond of me being a singer."

"He is a business man. He extols the seriousness and the hard labor. For him every entertainer was... and still is a little joke. Playboy. Merrymaker. Selfish and a little diva."

"What made him change his mind about me?" Jaejoong asked, looking up at his wife.

"The way you begged him to be with me." Hana said with a soft voice, caressing her husband's cheek with so much love.

"God..." Jaejoong breathed out.

The man laughed softly at the memory of him kneeling in front of his father-in-law demanding his permission to marry Hana. At that time, Jaejoong knew that her father wasn't ready to let go of his only daughter. She was still his baby girl in the man's eyes. And mostly he was against their relationship since their first date. The older man had dreamed of another life for her with a man who could always be with her not with a man who will spend the most of his time away from her.

"I was so lame." He added, lying beside Hana.

"You weren't lame. Just desperate not to lose someone important in your life." She said quietly, turning to look at Jaejoong on her left. "My father never wanted someone who could just spend money on me... someone who just felt the need to have a partner... He just wanted a man who could... who can make me his priority... And you fulfill all his expectations. He is proud of having you as his son-in-law. Mostly when you decided to give up on your career for me."

"Does he know about me and Yunho?"

"He does."

"And he still allowed me to marry you?!"

"Yes..."

"Isn't he..." The young man couldn't say the word.

Hana will never force him to say that word. So, she said it for him. "...disgusting?" And Jaejoong nodded. "He isn't a narrow-minded. But he isn't fond of this kind of ual orientation. However, he knows that love isn't something we can control. And we can't tell our heart who and which gender we should fall in love. You know my parents are a mixed couple. My father is French. My mother Japanese. They felt in love at first side and now they live a peaceful life together. But, they had their own obstacles too."

"He will be a good friend with my father. They think the same."

"It would be good to have a family meeting one day." She said with a smile on her tired face.

"It would be epic. My parents who talks in Korean. Yours in French or Japanese. What a cacophony." Jaejoong smiled, delighted to such a perspec