- Chapter One - "His reasons."

Park Yoochun and Kim Junsu were sitting on the couch in their lawyer's office. They were surprised by this sudden summon from the older man while they were enjoying some vacation with their families after all the work they did for their first album in Korean. They looked at each other with confusion and hoped for their hyung to be there soon.

The hardy man in his forty who was sitting at his desk, was looking at the two young men with a look of regret. He did not know how to approach the important matter of this meeting without making them feeling dejected. But he could not delay this anymore. It's been three days that Kim Jaejoong had left the country. And the young man had specified him to tell them everything after his departure.

The lawyer pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded lightly. "I think we can start the meeting..."

"But Jaejoong hyung isn't here." Junsu interrupted the lawyer.

Mr. Song smiled weakly at the two young men who looked at him with a frown. He stood up from his desk, and walked towards them. He sat on the other couch in front of the two friends with an envelope in his hands.

"I don't know how to tell you this..." The older man said, putting the envelope on the end table. "But I think reading these letter will help you to understand the reason I called you here. It's from Jaejoong-ssi." The lawyer pushed the letter to the two men. Yoochun and Junsu frowned looking at the envelope on the table. "I, even, convoked the two remaining members of Dong Bank Shin Ki to this meeting. But, I received a refusal from SM Entertainment to have them next to you two. So, I will leave the other letter for them within the hands of SM's attorneys."

Kim Jaejoong knew very well that SM Entertainment would never allow Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin to stand in the same room with the two other men. So, he had written another letter for his two other friends who were staying with their former music label. And Mr. Song will do his job by giving in person that letter to SM Entertainment's lawyers if he couldn't give it to the two said men.

"What's going on?" asked Yoochun puzzled.

"Jaejoong-ssi withdraws his complaint." The old lawyer answered quietly.

"What?" The two men said with disbelief.

"Jaejoong-ssi abandons his charges toward SM Entertainment." The older man repeated.

"But why?" Junsu demanded.

"This letter is here to explain his reasons to end everything right now." Mr. Song said.

Yoochun sighed and massaged his forehead annoyingly. "Now... what will become of us?"

"It's depended on you." The man said quietly.

The two young idols looked at each other without knowing what to do from now on. Without Jaejoong, their approach was worthless. No one will believe them since one of them withdrew his complaint.

"I will only advise you to read the contents of the letter Jaejoong-ssi left for you first. And then, do what you think it will be good for you two. Take your time." The lawyer stood up from his armchair and left his office, letting the two men alone.

"How could he do..."

"Don't be angry without reading his reasons first." Junsu cut his friend. "Jaejoong hyung isn't someone who do things without thinking first. He must have a good reason to do that."

"Don't try to convince yourself when you are in the same position as me." Yoochun said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It must be because of that Jung Yunho."

Junsu shook his head, knowing that the man sitting next to him was hurting by the decision of the one he thought was his soul mate. But that title was just something created by their former music label.

Kim Jaejoong was only Park Yoochun's friend and nothing more or nothing less. Because everyone knew that Kim Jaejoong's soul mate was Jung Yunho within the group of Dong Bang Shin Ki.

It was just a façade to hide their interaction to the public view.

"Hyung... Jaejoong hyung has moved on. He's with Hana-chan now. They even got married in secret. And for god's sake, Yunho hyung isn't the cause of everything. We left SM not because of what the man did to Jaejoong hyung but because we want some rights as a human being not as a merchandising. Yunho hyung and Changmin-ah think like us. But things went bad at that time and we are separated into two units now."

"I know..." The other singer sighed. "Hope that you won't be disappointed by what will become of us from now on..."

"What will become of us?" Junsu asked with a frown.

"Don't play dumb with me. You know like me after they will discover Jaejoong hyung's disappearance, everything will go out of our hands..." Yoochun looked at the envelope on the end table. He took it in his hands. "You know things will go really bad for us without Jaejoong hyung by our side. He is... well he was our figurehead..."

"We will be fine." Junsu said sadly, knowing that they will face a lot of critics from their detractors, those who were waiting a misstep from them.

"I don't know..." Yoochun breathed out forlornly and tended the envelope to his friend, the only remaining member of their new group, JYJ. Now it will only be JY or YJ.

Junsu took the envelope from the hand of his friend, then removed the letter away from it. He read it closely, while Yoochun was thinking and laughing ironically at what will await for them from now on. The young man sighed and looked at his friend.

"What's going on?" Yoochun asked, seeing his friend frowning while reading the letter. "Junsu?"

The said young man put the letter on the table and pushed it to his friend without telling anything. He wasn't in a mood to speak right now. The only thing he could do was letting his tears streaming down his face at this moment. He could feel the hurt of their hyung. He could feel the misery of Kim Jaejoong. He could not condemn the man to let go of everything for the sake of someone he cherished so much.

"Junsu?"

"Read it." The idol said with a hoarse voice.

Intrigued, Yoochun took the letter in his hands and began to read what Jaejoong wrote to them.

'Yoochun, Junsu,

If you are reading this letter, it means that you are in our lawyer's office and I'm not in South Korea anymore.

I'm sorry for leaving you right now without telling you anything. I hope you will forgive me for my selfish action that will jeopardize everything we tried to gain for our own good, but also for everyone who has the right to be a singer. Hoping that everyone will have their chance to express themselves from those who dictate our every move and every word.

Trying to be a hero is so tired. And Hero Jaejoong won't suit me anymore... Trying to have some rights is so futile when we have a stronger opponent in front of us. I know, I will disappoint you to let go of everything. And you can call me a coward or whatever you want to call me. I won't blame you either if you hate me from now on. But, life was always a for me. You know my story. Where I come from. Who I am. And who I want to be.

To this day, I have lost a lot, even though I have you two at my side. My dream was to be a singer. And when life allowed me to be one, I encountered four other guys, you two, Yoochun and Junsu, but also Yunho and Changmin. We were a group of five men, going through everything together, feeling pain as five, feeling happiness as five, crying as five, breathing as five, trying to reach our dream as five.

It was my best years with all of you. But now, we have our own path. Something I never dream to have once I met the four of you. And it hurts me a lot. Alas, five will never become one from now on...

Ironically wanting our rights as a singer, I lost someone important in my life. I lost my best friend who was also my boyfriend. You two know what became of us... If I could, I would laugh with all my heart's content at this moment. But, I can't. I can't find a reason to go on in my life without the support of that special someone next to me.

I know, you two would gladly be that special someone. But, I don't want to burden you two. You have things to do better than to be stuck with someone like me. I'm the hyung between us. But, I'm so weak right now. I don't think I could protect you as I wanted to. I don't have the strength to make sure our path will be safe. You will have to protect yourself from now on. I'm really sorry.

Don't worry about me. Ha-chan is there for me. My little Ha-chan... my poor Ha-chan... That young woman is too good to be real. She accepted me as the man I am. A man with a heart that was owned by another man. A man who will always love that man, but try to give her a place she deserves in his life. Pathetic right? But it's me.

Not long after our marriage, we found out that she has leukemia, an acute leukemia.

I didn't know what to do when the doctor informed us that she was sick, very sick. My Ha-chan took the news better than me. She was smiling at me as if it was nothing. But, as for me, I was scared, really scared to lose her too.

I'm sorry. Really sorry. But I can't imagine my life without her.

Once, I lose the most important person in my life, because I didn't fight for that person. I thought that it was for the best for us to let go of each other when we live in this kind of society who you could dream two men to be together but in real life they won't accept us. This time, life allowed me to be like everyone with my Ha-chan. And I don't want to lose her. I don't want to be a pathetic man who can't even show her that she deserve the best in this world.

I want to give her the best time that fate allows her to have. If it's one year, two years or ten years, even until we die together, I want to be at her side. So, I decided to do what a husband will do for his wife. She will be my priority from now on.

As for the law suit, it's up to you to continue to press charges against them or not. But it will be without me. I don't have the heart to fight against SM entertainment with Yunho and Changmin in their side. They are my friends, my brothers.

You want to know what will be my situation with C-JeS, right now? Don't worry about that. I'm not broken. They won't be evil again me. If they are, it will be only my business not yours.

I hope you will forgive me in the near future.

Don't try to search for me. Let me live peacefully with her for the time being. And if you see Yunho and Changmin one day, tell them that I'm sorry for everything.

Please tell Yunho that I'm not angry anymore. Tell him that I will never regret what we had together. I was happy with him, really happy. And I wish him all the luck he needs to fulfill everyone expectation.

Your beloved friend,

Kim Jaejoong.'

Yoochun closed his eyes and let his tears flowed down on his cheeks. What will they do from now on without him?

"Why... why didn't he say anything?" asked the young man in a broken voice.

"He didn't want to burden us..."

"We're his friends right?"

"We are." Junsu answered, wiping his tears away. "What will become of him now?"

"I don't know... I don't know..."

The two men didn't think about them but about their friend. Their situation was not so dramatic as they thought if they compared to Jaejoong's situation. The man was losing everything, one by one in his life.

Firstly, his lover in the person of Jung Yunho. Secondly, TVXQ that represented his dream to be a singer. Thirdly, his rights to be a singer trying to go against SM Entertainment for the same rights. How ironic...

Now, Kim Jaejoong was losing the only one support he had in his life, his wife.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know..." Yoochun said, wiping his tears. "We need more vacation..." He added with a mockingly tone.

Junsu smiled weakly at the other's joke. He didn't know what he had to do right now... He was conflicted between anger a