Chapter III

Dara stepped out of the car and raced ahead of her mother inside the house. She went past Mrs. Kwon greeting her briefly and headed straight to the back porch. It’s been two weeks since the funeral. They’re going to leave Korea tomorrow… She thought she might want to see Ji or vice versa and maybe…

But would he want to see her also? She really couldn’t understand the way the wires on his brain works. Why does he even want to shove her away? She thought of several things to say. She must thanked him first and maybe she could just leave him with a–

She abruptly stopped as soft music floated in the air. The piano keys were being plucked. She went near to find Jiyong sitting comfortably, playing…

She cleared and he heard her. Damn the movies, she thought, why do dry throats catch so much attention?!

“Oh, hello Dee.” He greeted her calling her with his usual pet name for her.

Jiyong stared at her, his cool black eyes searching hers.

She sighed. “Can I sit?”

“I’m not stopping you.” Dara sat beside him then he starts to play again.

“What piece is it?”

“Nothing, I’m just playing. I’d miss this old piano... It’s gonna go to the auction house. I wish I could bid for it no matter how much it would take.” Jiyong’s left hand withdrew from the piano. His right hand remained on the melody.

“Is it that important?”

“It is that special, Dee.” Three notes climbed to a high C-trio.

“I just dropped by to say–”

“Goodbye?” Three notes subsided on a low minor chord.

“Uhm… In a way, yes.” The melody went lower until Jiyong had to use his left hand.

Jiyong began to play again. Dara fell silent; everything seemed to float on her mind. She fought against it…

“Why don’t you make a song?” Dara finally asked.

“You know too well I never made a complete one.”

“Then I’ll complete it for you.” Jiyong stared at her, a wan smile formed in his face.

“You will?”

“Certainly.” I’d have to learn the piano in that case, she told herself.

“Okay.” Jiyong began to make music. The notes flew softly, every bass followed the melody. The rhythm became obvious, the time and beat perfect. And the scale was explored.

Dara took the music sheets and the pencil. “Sing then.”

“I’ve walked a thousand mile and here I am now,

Tired and weary of the journey…

I’ve passed a million roads

In search of a star,

And fin’lly I found you.”

Jiyong stopped. He took the music sheets from Dara and wrote some chords and notes.

“There’s a song…,” he said and returned it to Dara.

“That’s it?” she asked, flashing her eyes in a mixture of bewilderment and frustration.

He grinned, nodded and stood up. “I can’t write a song for now. It’s just not appropriate.”

“Composing a song doesn’t need appropriate conditions. That’s not a good reason,” Dara replies as he walked away.

“For me it’s a very nice reason… which is in allied terms with good.” He disappeared into the kitchen.

He was trying hard to entertain her. She followed him to the kitchen and found him sitting on the table.

“Juice or soda?”

“No. Talk.” Dara sat down on a chair and placed the music sheets beside him.

“Is this your way of saying goodbye?” Jiyong stood up and took two soda cans from the refrigerator across the table. He shoved one towards Dara.

A heavy rush of emotion swarmed Dara suddenly, her heart thumping wildly. She stood up and looked at Jiyong. Burning with undefined emotion, something out of losing an important friend, she blurted out–

“I lay myself vulnerable right now. I will never do this again, Ji, just now. I came here because I wanted to see you and give my good luck to wherever you’ll go. For once, you were my friend and I will not prevent myself from saying that you have become close to my heart… like a brother. You are my only companion through everything in my life. I trusted you very much. I came here to thank you for being my friend.” She told him without breaking her gaze.

And for a time her heart alighted, her chest heaving for air…

Dara pushed aside her chair and started out of the house. But the terrible throbbing in her heart wouldn’t stop…

Jiyong tried to ignore her as he opened the soda and drank a mouthful. “Wow. What was that about?” he asked, and then ruefully laughed. She must know what he felt about leaving her or in this case, she leaving him alone.

Dara thought people change.

“Why that fast?”

“I dunno… Maybe people want to.”

“Maybe people need to.”

“Would I still know it’s father if he changes?”

“I think so.”

“Will he always have an angry face?”

“I don’t know… But I’m sure he’ll still love you.”

“Tell me Dee, will you change too?”

I didn’t, Dara thought. A ten-year old’s memory. They say there’s that irony in life that people who ask other people about their lives usually get what they asked for; change. It’s as if the more you say and think about something you don’t have, the more it becomes real to you until you’d be holding it in your hands.

Just like now. She had gotten tired calling Jiyong every time before she would sleep. This night, she won't hold the phone. Tomorrow she would not expect him at the front porch on a bicycle. Because he's going somewhere far... and he won't be back... forever.

Dara faced the mirror. She hated what she saw. There was a face so sad. Why, when people try to hide what they feel inside, it just usually prevails to manifest in their faces, even though they're trying as best as they could to feel the opposite? She needs a mask. There are thousands of them. What mask should she wear?

A happy face, a gleeful one, a mask that no one could call it is really a mask. A very bright face, full of thrill and conspicuous vitality... She has to make one, now.

Dadoong’s bark downstairs broke her free of her thoughts...

"Dara, honey, are you still awake?" She heard her mom downstairs. "Someone's here to see you."

No, it can't be... Dara thought life is so impossible. She headed down.

"Where?"

"Outside, in the porch," her mom instructed and headed back upstairs.

Dara opened the door.

"Hi, Dee."

A lazy tendril of hair hung on his forehead, she felt like brushing it. Maybe, it's time she believes in magic.

"You left something..." She saw the sheets on his hand.

Maybe not... magic is only for little kids.

Jiyong handed her the music sheets. She slowly took it.

Dara blurted out, "I thought you needed it."

"We're leaving tonight, Dee." It was obvious, he was all dressed up. "I want you to have it."

"But it's not finished," Dara remarked.

Jiyong smiled. "Your promise?" his eyebrows up in question.

It wasn't a promise, but now it is, Dara told herself.

"But I can't..." Dara looked at him.

"Yes, you can..." Jiyong sighed as she took the sheets from him.

“Uhm, when you get to New York, can I call you? Or maybe hook up in the net?”

Jiyong pursed his lips and looked at her steel blue eyes. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

She didn’t like what he just said and abruptly produced a non-verbal movement equivalent to a big why. Can friendship not continue even in distance? The coldness of the night suddenly went up her nerves. She said instead, "You won't come in?" She needs to preserve her pride.

"I don't think so, Dee." His smile faded as he looked at her. "I have to say goodbye." Dara just stared at him blankly.

And the world became smaller as a tear fell from her eyes while she looked at his back... leaving…