[CONTENTID1] CHAPTER 3 [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] This is the End [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

You've wondered if I'm happy with all of this. My life is changing for the better and I couldn't be more happier than I already am. People will have regrets and that person who is part of that group of people is me. I'm regretting. I'm regretting dating him. Sure, I love him, I'm really happy with him but what's worrying me is the fact that I've become a burden to him. A burden to protect me from my parents. He is put into danger because of me. Because of me, he will keep worrying over my safety. I was a curse and it seems like he has become my target. Having someone who loves you was the best feeling in the world but making that person love you become worried because of you wasn't a good feeling. He has lend me his home to stay and lend me the food he cooks. He has done everything for me, but what have I done? Became a burden. The feeling of regret and disappointment is filling me. 

I poked the rice that was set in front of me. It was currently the evening and we were here having dinner together. I kept poking and playing with the food until he tapped me on my shoulder. I snap back to reality in surprise but avoided eye contact with him.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Huh? Ah..Yeah.." I answered without confidence. 

I took a spoonful of the rice and placed it into my mouth. I went back to daydreaming and staring into nothing. Was I thinking too much about this? The spoon continued to be placed in my mouth without any food in them. I just left it there for a while. As I thought about it, I knew that it's wrong and I could hurt him either way but to push the burden out of him was too extreme. He tapped me once more on my shoulder, sensing something was wrong. 

"You don't look so well, get some rest alright." 

"Ah..yeah.." 

That's all I could answer. I got up from my seat and went into the bedroom and laid my head down on the pillow with the blanket wrapped around me. It's been weeks since I last saw my dad and it's been weeks since we dated. It wasn't even a month yet and I'm regretting this relationship. Was I wrong to accept? I didn't know. I closed my eyes as I let the thoughts continue to pour in my head. Sleep got to me in a matter of minutes and I was sound asleep. 

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I woke up to the gloomy clouds filling up the sky outside. The rain was pouring like a shower running and from this weather I knew it was one of those days that will turn bad. I got up from my bed and walked out of the room. I yawned a few times before walking out of Myungsoo sitting on the table concentrating on something. His hands was placed under his chin and he sat on the table with his elbow supporting him. I stared at him in confusion but walked up to him. 

"What's wrong?"

He turned to face me. His gaze gave me a sense of fear yet caring at the same time. Was I worrying him again? I wouldn't know. He turned his head back to the front as soon as we made eye contact. I settled next to him on the table and looked at him waiting for an answer.

"So I made contact with your dad"

I stared at him in shock. "What? Why?"

"Not that dad but your real dad Naeun. "

"I know that, but why would you contact him?" I was now upset. 

"I guess because you need to talk to him, ask him why he left and why he became like that, I think you deserve answers."

"Myungsoo... I'm better off not seeing my dad. You know that."

"I know but I also want to know why he left you, left you to those people."

I patted him in the back. Maybe he was doing something for me but the other option is that he just wanted to see my dad for answers in which he doesn't know himself. I sighed as I continued to pat him on the back and to sooth him down. 

"Alright then..." I agreed.

"I contacted the police and they said we can visit him today."

My eyes opened in more shock. "Myungsoo....you know, I don't--"

"I think we should give it a shot" He turned to make eye contact.

I stared into his eyes for a while and I can sense he was being serious. I guess I'll be visiting my real dad after how long. I sighed once more and finally gave in. I guess it could be better to meet my dad. 

We walked out of the house wearing long sleeves and holding an umbrella. It was still pouring and the fog as became clearer that we couldn't see the road. It was cold but wasn't as cold as a snowy winter. We walked together under one umbrella and called for a taxi. We entered the taxi with out wet shoes and told him our destination. Myungsoo and I was sitting in the back but silently. I stared out the foggy window and the rainy atmosphere. Why does this weather match my situation so well. I question sometimes. 

We arrived within a few minutes and we thanked the driver as we stepped out. The taxi driver drove off in a instant and we were left in this rainy atmosphere to stare at the building that was now in front of us. Myungsoo held my hand as we stepped into a room with other people wanting to talk to their love one. I sat down in front of a booth with Myungsoo standing behind me and got the phone that was hanging on the left of the booth. It was a way to communicate between each other. My dad eyes showed a sense of pain and regret but yet when he picked up the phone he didn't dare to make eye contact at me. I listened as he breathe through the phone. We were silent for a few minutes before I spoke. 

"Hi...dad" I hesitated 

"Hi Naeun. I see your all grown up now" He answered

"No thanks to you." 

I continued as I didn't get any replies from him "Why? Why would you leave me like that?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Apologizing won't help and your late." I said

"I just didn't get over the loss of your mother so I thought of a method to forget her."

"With drugs? Alcohol? I was there dad. I was right there."

"I regret it I do but with the loss of your mother, I couldn't look at you."

"Why? What have I done to you that made you despise me?"

"I don't despise you Naeun, I just can't look at you without thinking of your mother, so I thought maybe you'll be better off with another family."

I let a tear run down my cheek as I stare at him through the booth. 'Better off with another family' then another tear ran down my cheek. I wasn't better, I wasn't happy with another family. I was glad I was still alive. I used my hands to wipe the tear and answered with disappointment and anger.

"Well, I'm not happy, I'm sacred and I'm in pain. Better off with another family? I would have been better off being dead. Why would I have been born into a worl