Kim Jaejoong’s cooking was a talent bestowed upon him by the gods. He was so good that people praised him whether he made them something elaborate or just threw leftovers on the pan. He was a superb cook, a cooking prodigy if you will, so naturally he was more than a little shocked that on his first day at his new working place someone, especially that someone being a mare manager (or the owner, whatever, who cared) dared to criticize his cooking.

‘I will murder Jung Yunho and make Bulgogi out of him’ he complained as he downed his drink, immediately reaching for the bottle to refill it.

‘I heard human meat tastes like pig so won’t he make a better Samgyeopsal?’

Junsu, Jaejoong’s best bud in not-drinking-but-hauling-your--home-so-you-wont-get-randomly--by-strangers, offered his wise advice, picking up a piece of pickled garlic as consolation.

‘Oh my GOD you are totally missing the point’

Jaejoong ditched his glass and started drinking straight out of the bottle.

Jung ing Yunho. The ing heir of the Jung restaurant chain and a colossal . Was he born to make a fool out of Jeajoong? He hated him so much already, how was he ever going to work for him? His life was sad.

‘Maybe he was just teasing you?’ Junsu suggested, letting go of the issue about human flesh. Maybe watching Hannibal until five o’clock in the morning hadn’t been the best idea ‘It could happen?’

Because it happened a lot, especially when the cook in question looked like he should have been a stripper instead. People complimented Jaejoong’s cooking all the time and he could feed them for dinner.

‘NO’

With one hand carrying his whole weight and with the other holding onto the bottle for support, Jaejoong hoisted himself up and leaned close to his friend, his eyes flaring and his mouth way too close for comfort.

‘He’s belittling me’

Junsu could smell his breath reeking of alcohol and right now, at this very moment, Kim Jaejoong was the furthest thing from y he could possibly imagine.

‘He said that my cooking was too spicy’

Which was-

Yeah, Junsu could see where this Jung Yunho was coming from because, honestly, Jaejoong layered on the sriracha a bit too thick.

‘I even halved the pepper since the dish required a mild taste and he still complained and I swear to God he’s such a ’

Ok, he layered it on way too thick. Jaejoong spiced everything up to the high heaven and Junsu feared that his friend’s taste buds had been completely burned off at this point.

‘Well. There, there’ he patted his back and forced him to sit down. People were starting to stare and the last thing he needed right now was another scandal. Did he mention that he was a famous and beloved musical actor with the voice of thousand angels and the that the Kardashians would be jealous of? No? Well, he was, and Jaejoong didn’t care. Junsu sometimes cried at nights because of that.

Why was he stuck babysitting the old man?

‘But he’s also SOOOO good looking’ Jaejoong’s voice cracked as he started wailing for everyone around and their relatives at home to hear, slumping across the counter and sobbing uncontrollably.

Wearily, Junsu took out his phone and considered calling for help before dialing the number of another Jaejoong’s friend and maybe his not-too-obvious-but-I-totally-want-his-body crush.

‘Yes?’ Yoochun’s warm silky voice wormed its way into his ears and Junsu grinned. Right. There were perks of being Jaejoong’s friend although lately the cons were dominating.

‘I’ll be right over’ the same voice continued when Junsu told him the address. From the wailing coming beside him Yoochun needed no imagination to know what was happening. If only Yoochun would come at any of his whims, Junsu thought while dreamily staring at his phone. For the shortest moment he entertained the thought of getting drunk but the ugly sobbing coming from Jaejoong stopped him.

---

‘It’s still too spicy’ Jung Yunho declared, the rest of the staff wearily looking from their manager to the new cook.

If looks could burn, Yunho would combust on spot. Jaejoong was dangerously close to exploding and everyone except for the person in question sensed the danger.

‘OH. Isn’t it’ Jaejoong snatched the spoon out of Yunho’s hands and dropped it back in the bowl, the content of it splashing all over their clothes.

‘That’s - unhygienic’ Yunho made a face and looked at the fuming cook. He was nice to look at but too erratic and the scowl on his face didn’t suit him. This just wouldn't do, Yunho decided and took the other’s hand in his own.

‘You’re too hasty, Jaejoong. You need to calm down. You’re a great cook but there’s no love in it’ and with that he pressed the hand against his own nicely toned chest. ‘Can you hear my heart beating? It’s beating for this place and for everyone working here. This is my life and my love and it hurts me whenever anyone hurts it. Please give all your love to this place and please give your love to me as well’

Jaejoong stared. Then he stared some more. He felt partially disgusted and partially tuned on and couldn't decide which part of the two he felt stronger.

---

Junsu looked at the caller’s ID and immediately put everything on hold. Practice could wait, Jaejoong was calling.

‘Yes? Could you call me later? I am-’

‘Oh my GOD I think he’s a maniac’ Jaejoong’s yell shattered Junsu’s eardrums, rendering him deaf for the rest of the day ‘he’s in love with a restaurant can you believe it? A freaking restaurant, Junsu,that’s my competition! I think I’m going to die, why are all the hot men insane?’

Why, indeed, Junsu wondered, whimpering at his mental health slipping. There were days when he appreciated the drama. It made his life so much more entertaining but then there were days he just wanted to curl up in his bed and wait for his hoard of cats to engulf him in their sweet fur and purring and whiskers. Cute, fluffy balls of ...

‘Junsu?’

Soft paws and tiny whiny noses...

‘Helloooo?’

Soft purring in the evening and adorable head bumps in the morning.

‘You still there or are you daydreaming about cats again?’

Damn it. Jaejoong knew his so well.

‘I am NOT daydreaming about my cats. When have I ever-’

‘Anyway. So Yunho’s a maniac’

Yeah. Of course Junsu’s problems were of no importance whatsoever. Not to mention that, despite him giving Jaejoong free tickets for every one of his musicals, the other had never shown up, not even once.  

‘I’m sure he’s not a maniac, Jae. He just wants you to do your best and maybe you’re not listening to him like you should’

Which was totally the case. In Junsu’s experience Jaejoong never listened and just went on and on and ON about his own problems and himself. He wouldn’t be surprised if he used half of the kitchen equipment to look at his own reflection rather than doing any actual cooking.

‘But-’

‘No. Listen’ Junsu glanced over at the impatiently crowd surrounding him and gulped ‘why don’t you just, you know, actually listen to him and do what he says? It’s his restaurant after all. Don’t you think it’s disrespectful to disobey him like that?’

The other kept silent for a few moments before letting out a frustrated groan. Then he hung up. Of course a goodbye or thank you would be too much to ask for.

‘You done there, princess?’ Junsu’s co-star rolled her eyes and grabbed the singer by hand, dragging him back to the stage. His absolute lack of priorities was well known among his circle of friends and, if not for that amazing voice from heavens, they would have kicked him out years ago.

---

Yunho picked up a piece of the meat with his chopsticks, a pair of eager eyes following his every move.

Jaejoong’s face was strained to the max, his eyes wider than two saucers and his lips hanging open in anticipation of what Junho’s judgment was going to be. Honestly speaking, Junho didn’t care for the dish all that much as what he really wanted was to taste a completely different meal from those lips and then move straight to the dessert.

‘Is it good?’

Yunho put the piece in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully before nodding and swooning as the cook’s face bloomed in excitement. Jaejoong was smiling, his eyes sparkled like two starts picked out of the heaven, and Yunho had to hold out on the last bits of his self-restrain to not make out with the man in the kitchen of his own damn restaurant.

‘It’s really good’ he added, putting the chopsticks down. He wasn’t even lying. The other was a fantastic cook and, once he actually followed his advice and lay off the pepper, the meat tasted tender and juicy.

‘But-’ Yunho continued and his lips turned into a smirk at Jaejoong’s face falling ‘the cook himself is still way too hot for this dish’

The other’s mouth formed a perfect o at the sudden realization and his hand crept up in front of his face to cover up his shocked expression.

‘Seriously?’ he whispered and well, yes, thank you, Yunho would never joke about things like these.

‘Seriously’

Whatever he had expected, it was not Kim Jaejoong taking his beloved sriracha sauce and pouring a generous amount into his own mouth without as much as a blink of an eye.

‘Well then, Jung Yunho’ he sneered with an obvious challenge-mode on his face ‘then I dare you to kiss me without becoming the little pathetic wimp that you are' he said and beaconed for him to come closer ‘Or are you afraid of a little hotness?’

---

That evening, Jung Yunho brushed his teeth for a half hour straight.  

a/n: I don't even care anymore about what's happening with my mind