Finding Yourself (Part 2)
The Wonder KidPracticing dance was probably one of the hardest things for Sara to do. Although she excelled in all of the sports Ho Dong had shown her and all the excercises, she was not good at following a beat. Eventually Sara found herself dreading spending time with Ho Dong because that's all he ever wanted to do: dance; that and of course study. One afternoon after school, Sara trudged along to an empty room in the school where Dongie liked to practice. She slowly opened the door and saw him already there and already sweating.
"Hey~" Sara said quietly.
"Oh! Hi Sara! Look I finally mastered that floor move I showed you the other day now I can work on it with you and -"
"Dong."
"Huh? What? What's wrong you don't look so good?" He rushed over to her and cupped her cheeks in his hands, staring intently at her flushed face.
"Ho Dong.. would you be mad if don't dance with you?"
"What? No of course not! If you feel sick then rest, you can dance when you feel better." Sara twisted and chewed on her bottom lip.
"No Dongie, I mean if I don't dance at all anymore." She looked down and his hands dropped from her face.
"You don't like it?" He looked hurt as if she had said that she didn't like him not that she didn't like dance. But Sara sniffled a little before explaining that she just wasn't good at it and she didn't particularly love it like him enough to try to be good at it.
"I like baseball and basketball and all the other sports you've shown me. But I'm just not good with dance and I really don't like doing it anymore. I feel a lump in my stomach everytime I walk over here to practice. I'm really sorry Dongie."
"No, it's fine. You can go if you want." He looked dejected and just walked away from her. When she said she could stay to keep him company and cheer him on he simply said, "no thanks, i'd rather be alone." Sara was hurt. Here was a boy who hated feeling alone and he just told her that he'd rather be alone than have her in the room with him. She didn't want to push it though and nodded slightly before leaving the room. She decided to head back home since she really didn't have anyone to play with and any activities of her own to do. The walk home made her feel even more lost than she felt several months ago that night in Ho Dong's house.
When she arrived home she was greeted by a sight that she had never seen and only heard of. The smell of bulgogi was heavy in the air and she drifted into the kitchen to see her brother standing on a stool and mixing the meat with some vegetables in the pan. Her mother continued to chop ingredients and adding them in to the mixture while her brother seasoned it. She looked in awe with the focused expression on her 10 year old brothers face.
"Mom do you think I should add a little bit of lemon? I saw that someone did it on tv, I think they called it zest. They said it makes the meat pop, like the flavor."
"If you want to try it go for it sweetie. That's the fun about life, taking risks and challenging yourself. Whatever you want to try go for it and if it doesn't work you try again and don't give up." Sara smiled, her mom always gave a lesson to her and her siblings when the opportunity presented itself. Growing up without a dad made control and authority a big job for their mother. But she somehow managed to be both strict and gentle with her children. Her mother turned to grab a lemon when she suddenly saw Sara standing at the kitchen entrance. "Oh Sara! You're home from school early today." She wiped her hands on her apron and went to hug her daughter. "Did something happen?"
"No... I just.. I really didn't feel like dancing today... or any day really." She shifted, pinned to her spot in the kitchen not daring to enter her brother and mother's world.
"Noona you can cook with us if you don't want to dance! We finished dinner already but you can make dessert!" Joon jumped from his stool and hugged his sister.
"I don't know Joonie.. I've never made anything other than cookies."
"C'mon noona, i'll help you! We can make a cake." Sara took tentative steps into this new world and slowly but surely found herself enjoying the time she spent with her mother and brother. She loved the smell of baking and decorating a cake proved quite entertaining and enjoyable to her. She added dices of fruit to the cake and a small coating of pink sugar before presenting it to her mother.
"Sara! It looks wonderful!" She took a spoon and cut off a tiny bit of cake, "And it tastes wonderful too. It's very moist sweetheart. You did great." Sara beamed. She had done something that Ho Dong had never done. She had experienced something for herself. Something personal.
After dinner Sara's mother instructed her to take half of the cake over to Ho Dong's house and give it to his mother for the family to eat. Once she had her last spoonful of cake she packed the rest in a Tupperwear and headed off to the Lee residence. As she was walking up the side walk she saw Dongie entering his front yard with his dance bag over his shoulder. Sara called out to him and his face lit up to see her. He raced over to her and hugged her, almost squishing the cake Sara balanced in one had. "I'm sorry for acting weird." He mumbled in her hair.
"Huh, it's fine Dongie. To be honest I'm happy you told me to leave. I ended up going home and I got to try something new. Look, I baked this cake with my brother! It's really fun Dongie. I didn't know baking something could be so much fun. I'm gonna be making dessert every night from now on. Here, this half is for you and your family." Sara beamed but Ho Dong's expression fell once again. He quickly changed it and smiled.
"I'm glad you're good at it. I hope you have fun with it." He took the tray from her hands and smiled at it. Strawberries were his favorite fruit, but he didn't particularly want to eat this cake. "Thanks, i'll be sure to share it. I should probably go inside now.. I still have some homework to do." He mentally kicked himself for using homework as his excuse, but Sara brushed it off and nodded, retreating back to her home. He looked at her figure sadly as he thought back to how he spent the rest of the afternoon that day. When he heard the door close in the dance room he tried to shake the guilty feeling off and keep dancing. No matter how much he focused his mind wandered over to the expression of hurt that Sara had on her face. He sprawled himself out on the floor and took deep breaths. He stayed there in the dark for a few hours before deciding that he wouldn't be dancing much today and decided to head home.
The next couple of years put a bit of a strain on their relationship. They would get together whenever Sara could convince him to kick around a soccer ball, using the pretence that it would be very good for his legs. However, aside from those days of soccer and their study sessions, they didn't spend nearly as much time together. Sara started going to baking lessons after school and Ho Dong practiced his dancing. The last time they saw each other was when they agreed to go to a different high school then their classmates and went to drop off their applications. Sara took Ho Dong's to turn them into the front desk when she saw something odd.
"Ho Dong? Why did you put Ho Won as your name? You know you're suppose to put your real name on here."
"It is my real name. I forgot to tell you cause I'm so use to hearing you say "Dongie" I didn't really bother me coming from you, but anyway I changed it legally. Mom said if I stayed in the top 20 at school I could change my name. My current pacing is 10, nothing compared to your wonderful 5 but still mom and dad are happy so."
"So I should call you Ho Won from now on?" She repeated Won and Wonnie over and over again to try to get the hang of it.
"Yeah if you don't mind. I want people to know me as Lee Ho Won from now on. I'm tired of the Ho Dong jokes."
"Eh... sounds good I guess. I'll call you Wonnie I guess, but you'll always be Dongie to me." She giggled and placed the applications in the basket and bowed to the receptionist. They walked back home wondering how high school would be and who they would become. Ho Dong's change of name had reflected his change in person. He was having doubts about being a cop. Lately dance had become very important to him and he had picked up on singing and rapping to the songs that he danced too. He hadn't told his family of course. Sara however was finally finding her own route and was lined up to start working at a bakery once her first year of high school was over; a favor from her mothers close friend. They were growing up and having dreams, but no dream comes easy.
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