Appa’s pov

I was 16 when I first met Eunhee. She’s the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on – though some people thought that she’s an ice princess. Her eyes were shining as they’re stars, her skin looked so soft and tender, her lips were irresistible. She’s a perfection in my view and I admitted that it was love at the first sight. I tried to win her heart but it wasn’t easy. She rejected me for countless of time yet I still hoping that I would be in her heart – she’s really an ice princess. Many of friends told me to give up on her but I won’t as I knew that she’s my destiny.

Well, the ice would melt if it got heat and so was Eunhee. With love and earnestness, I captured her heart. Eunhee was so sweet and all. I love her with all of my heart. I was very serious with our relationship that I asked her for marriage and I was about to die in happiness when she shyly said yes. We got our bless by our parents and held the wedding three months after my proposal. I vowed that I would take care of her and bring her happiness. Both of us were still young at that time, I was a clerk and a part-time photographer while Eunhee was a freelance designer. Though at a young age, we already sketched our future, together.

We were blessed indeed as Eunhee got pregnant after a year of our marriage. I was so grateful and zealous to be a parent. We were going to be a happy family.

Our Joonmyeon was born prematured. He was named Joonmyeon for him to be full of love and laughter. He was so small and fair – like an angel and Snow White. I can’t hold him as he was put into the incubator. Our little hero was then diagnosed with a heart valve disease. It was a con valve disease. Con valve disease is an abnormality that develops before birth. This most often affects the aortic or pulmonic valve. It may be related to improper valve size, malformed leaflets, or an irregularity in the way the leaflets are attached.

Joonmyeon’s thoracic surgeon, Doctor Park Hoon informed to us about Joonmyeon’s condition. “There are several types of  heart valve disease. For Joonmyeonnie, it was Valvular stenosis. This occurs when the tissues forming the valve leaflets become stiffer, narrowing the valve opening and reducing the amount of blood that can flow through it. If the narrowing is mild, the overall functioning of the heart may not be reduced. However, the valve can become so narrow that heart function is reduced, and the rest of the body may not receive adequate blood flow. This can lead to heart failure and other symptoms.”

It was a lot for us to take and learn about Joonmyeon’s little anatomy. My wife kept blaming herself for Joonmyeon’s prematured birth but it was far from her fault. It’s fate that brought us this. Doctor Park told us that Joonmyeon would grow up as a child with a weak heart.

Raising Joonmyeon was same with the words, ‘handle with care.’ Joonmyeon was so fragile in my eyes and I believed that my wife was thinking the same thing. My heart’s sank even more when we found out that Joonmyeon was positively had Aplastic Anaemia (AA). I blamed myself for having anaemia, that I couldn’t donate my blood to my own child. His illness was probably genetics too. Poor my little hero. He was only two yet he had been facing a lot of challenges. Joonmyeon was a strong boy and I was so proud of him. I couldn’t afford to lose my son – not yet, I wasn’t ready to let him go yet but there’s nothing that we could do with his condition.

My wife mooted her idea about having another baby. Was she insane? We got a real fight before I finally agreed with her suggestion. We plant a big hope for our second baby. I was suddenly excited about our second child and so was Joonmyeon. He was all happy when he found out that he would get himself another sibling.

“Omma, why did you eat my dongsaeng?” Joonmyeon asked innocently. Eunhee and I burst into laughter.

“Joonmyeonnie, your Omma doesn’t eat your dongsaeng. The baby just had to grow in there first.”

“Was Joonmyeon too?”

“Yes darling.” Eunhee answered this time.

“Baby, please come out soon. Hyung can’t wait to play with you!” Joonmyeon whispered at the baby bump. I really wanted to pinch his cute cheeks. Aigoo, how can he be so cute!

"Appa is sure that baby would love to play with you, honey."

"Really? Hooray~"

I couldn’t wait for our second child to be born either. I already made a list of names for him. It was going to be a boy for sure. I wanted to name him Jongin, for him to be spreading  kindliness and benevolence to everyone. What a sweet name!  

Joonmyeon was named for talented and hardworking – It was Eunhee’s idea but I love the name so much.

Our Jongin was born with hopes. He brought joy and happiness to everyone. I believed that Jongin would grow up with laughter and smiles. He was perfectly healthy and we were more grateful of it. Jongin was so small in my arms, his skin was so smooth and soft. He resembled my wife a lot – especially his lips. Unlike Joonmyeon who looked like a little version of me. Whatever it was, I love my kids with all of my heart.

“Appa, Appa! Can I see my dongsaeng?” Joonmyeon asked with his eyes wide open. It was so sweet to see Joonmyeon’s all excited.

“Sure, sweetheart.” I smiled.

Joonmyeon gasped as he stared at the newborn. “Appa, he’s so small.” Joonmyeon said cutely. “Is Joonmyeon also this small when Joonmyeon is a baby?”

“Yes, you’re so small when you’re a baby. You look like an angel.” I pinched his cheek.

“Really? Hii.” Joonmyeon grinned. He sat next to, talking to his little brother.

“Jongin, annyeong! I’m your hyung. You can call me Suho-hyung.”

“Suho-hyung?” I asked.

“Uhuh, grandma says that Suho means guardian, I wanna be a guardian angel for baby.” I sweared that Joonmyeon’s eyes sparkled when he said that.

“You will be a good brother, Joonmyeon-ah.”

I was imagined of me, teaching Jongin how to play soccer and probably taught him how to flirt with girls. He was going to be a naughty boy – just like me. I already potrayed his future – his would be a kid with talent, handsome and popular, he would marry a nice girl just like his mom. It would be perfect.

 I pictured Joonmyeon would grow up with happiness. Joonmyeon would be a nice guy with all smile and kind. He surely would meet a nice girl. My wife and I are thinking about sending him to piano lesson. I wanted Joonmyeon to have a good life even though he’s sick. I didn’t want his illness to be an obstacle for his life.

Thinking about my children’s future made me grinned. Ahh, I was getting old. Eunhee was soundly sleeping. God, she’s so beautiful. I looked at Joonmyeon who kept staring at his baby brother – he couldn’t let his eyes off from Jongin. I was the same when Joonmyeon’s born. I took out my camera and took a picture of it. It was such a beautiful photo.  They just completed my life.