1 year later.
Paradise Lost
“Here you go!” Dongwoon chuckles as he hands you a huge strawberry ice cream cone, complete with a chocolate waffle shell. You accept it gratefully, it was so hot today, your thin white t-shirt was sheer from sweat.
“Aish..why did we choose the hottest day of the summer to come to the zoo?” you laugh, taking a huge bite from your cone. Dongwoon shrugs happily, his towering triple scoop of vanilla ice cream. "Because I wanted to make you smile."
“Dongwoon-ah..” you stifle a giggle, waving your hand at the gooey mess on his lips. “You have ice cream all over your...here..don’t move.” Smiling, you brush your thumb over the lower corner of his lips, the sticky sweetness off your fingers. Dongwoon chuckles, giving you a sweet kiss on your cheek. “I’ll go get napkins.”
Smiling, you watch the tall, handsome man disappear into the crowd, completely oblivious to the lustful stares that were thrown his way. Despite encouragement from practically everyone, Dongwoon and you still just remained friends. You know you love him but.... It’s just safer this way.
Distracted, you almost didn’t notice the pink icy goop threatening to drip down your own fingers, as you try to it up gracefully. Waiting for Dongwoon to come back, you flip through the wrinkled park brochure, ‘I want to see the polar bears,’ you muse. ‘And tigers.’ A splotch of strawberry ice cream drips on your thighs. “Yikes..’ you quickly try to alternate hands and wipe it up before it leaves a stain on your white denim shorts. Standing up on the bench, you squint looking through the crowd. “Where is he?"
“Dongwoon-ah..” you stifle a giggle, waving your hand at the gooey mess on his lips. “You have ice cream all over your...here..don’t move.” Smiling, you brush your thumb over the lower corner of his lips, the sticky sweetness off your fingers. Dongwoon chuckles, giving you a sweet kiss on your cheek. “I’ll go get napkins.”
Smiling, you watch the tall, handsome man disappear into the crowd, completely oblivious to the lustful stares that were thrown his way. Despite encouragement from practically everyone, Dongwoon and you still just remained friends. You know you love him but.... It’s just safer this way.
Distracted, you almost didn’t notice the pink icy goop threatening to drip down your own fingers, as you try to it up gracefully. Waiting for Dongwoon to come back, you flip through the wrinkled park brochure, ‘I want to see the polar bears,’ you muse. ‘And tigers.’ A splotch of strawberry ice cream drips on your thighs. “Yikes..’ you quickly try to alternate hands and wipe it up before it leaves a stain on your white denim shorts. Standing up on the bench, you squint looking through the crowd. “Where is he?"
A loud scream sends a shock through your body. You're still hate loud noises. You whip around, relieved, smiling at little kids squealing with glee at the chimpanzees. But something else caught your attention. A pale, pale black haired boy caught your eye. You gasp....that face, that perfect nose, those lazy, piercing eyes, staring straight at you.
L.
Your knees buckle, the pink ice cream slips out your hand, splattering on the concrete, sad and abandoned melting quickly into a thick, gooey puddle. You run.
“HEY, WATCH IT!” a heavily tattooed girl yells as you crashed into her shoulder. “Sorry, sorry.” you mutter as you try and keep your eyes on L.
“L!” you yell, waving your arms, silver bracelets clanking against each other. "L!!" You push through a crowd of chatty tourists, nearly tripping as you fall onto the strange black hair boy, the both of you stumbling to the floor.
“Who.......?” he falls back, confused. Getting up quickly, his face embarrassed and shocked at the sudden intrusion. He holds out his hand reaching out to help you up.
"L..."
Your bright smile drops, realizing it was not him. It wasn’t.... him.... but he looked...you take a closer look at him realizing he looked nothing like him. “I’m... sorry,” you mumble, your hands dirty, your long hair wild and tangled. "I'm.. sorry." The stranger walks away with his girlfriend confused as you brush bits of dirt off your knees still kneeling on the ground, aware that people are pointing and staring. You keep your eyes to the floor, your face red with shame, ashamed that after all this time, you still can’t control yourself.
A firm, reassuring hand clutches your elbow, pulling you up. “Dongwoon...” you mutter, avoiding his concerned gaze, unable to make eye contact. “Sorry. I was just heading..... to the restroom and tripped..” you lie, uncomfortably, clutching your purse to your chest, hoping to muffle your beating heart.
Dongwoon opens his mouth to speak, then closes it, tilting his head slightly, the corners of crescent shaped eyes drooping slightly, sad. He says nothing as he holds your trembling hand, walking you to an empty part of the park, a lone bench underneath a tree. You both walk silently as if contemplating what to say next, He’s not going to want to be friends anymore. He’s never going to date some freak.
Wordlessly, he pats his shoulder, laying your head on the firm, stable shoulder that you’ve grown to depend on. Nuzzling your face against his soft flannel shirt, Dongwoon takes your hand into his own, slowly tracing his fingers in your palm, intertwining his long fingers with yours. You sit together, breathing slowly, your heartbeats slowly becoming one. You close your eyes, letting your mind indulge, let your mind think of them again.. peel back every raw layer, letting yourself hurt again. Subconsciously, you reach up to touch the silver charm around your neck.
The promise of your everlasting bond...
__________________
“Do you need any help up there?” Dongwoon called from downstairs, huffing as he carries boxes to the truck.
You look at the nearly full boxes around you, sighing. “Noo. I’m almost done up here.” you call back, as you open the bottom drawer in Sunggyu’s closet. One more drawer to go. You.. you’ve been putting off packing for a long time. But you need this. A fresh start. They weren’t coming back. They didn’t even love you enough for a proper goodbye. You blink back angry tears, no tears today, you promised yourself.
Coughing, you pull out the creaky drawer filled with winter sweaters that hardly got worn, dust balls floating in the air. You carefully place them one by one in the last box ready to be sealed up. You pull out the last woolly sweater in surprise, noticing a pale pink envelope lodged in the back corner with your name on it. Your heart beats faster as you rip it open. What the..... you bite your knuckles hard to prevent from crying out as your eyes pored hungrily over the short, sloppy hand written note.
Hey babe..by the time you find this, we hope that you have forgiven your oppas. I wish we could have said.. good bye the right way. Both times. I guess when it comes to goodbyes, there’s never a proper way. But we promise you..In the next life, we will grow old together. We will say good bye with white hair.
This necklace.. we got it for you a long time ago as a good luck charm for your first concert..but never got a chance to give it to you....
Tipping the envelope upside down, a thin silver chain slides out connect by an shiny silver infinity charm. You hold it tightly in your palm, your knuckles white.
It’s pretty right? Like you ^_^ Please wear it well...
Until we meet again..
Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Woohyun, Hoya, L, Sungyeol, Sungjong
_______________
The closure. The closure you so desperately needed.. now dangling on your thin collarbone. A daily reminder that...they’d want you to be happy.
“Are you OK?” Dongwoon asks softly, squeezing your hand. You let out the breath that you've been holding. Physically, metaphorically...
You look at the beautiful man before you, so patient, loving. Always there for you, desperately needing for you to be full again.
Lifting your head, you kiss him sweetly on his lips, still tasting of vanilla, catching him by surprise.
Your bright smile drops, realizing it was not him. It wasn’t.... him.... but he looked...you take a closer look at him realizing he looked nothing like him. “I’m... sorry,” you mumble, your hands dirty, your long hair wild and tangled. "I'm.. sorry." The stranger walks away with his girlfriend confused as you brush bits of dirt off your knees still kneeling on the ground, aware that people are pointing and staring. You keep your eyes to the floor, your face red with shame, ashamed that after all this time, you still can’t control yourself.
A firm, reassuring hand clutches your elbow, pulling you up. “Dongwoon...” you mutter, avoiding his concerned gaze, unable to make eye contact. “Sorry. I was just heading..... to the restroom and tripped..” you lie, uncomfortably, clutching your purse to your chest, hoping to muffle your beating heart.
Dongwoon opens his mouth to speak, then closes it, tilting his head slightly, the corners of crescent shaped eyes drooping slightly, sad. He says nothing as he holds your trembling hand, walking you to an empty part of the park, a lone bench underneath a tree. You both walk silently as if contemplating what to say next, He’s not going to want to be friends anymore. He’s never going to date some freak.
Wordlessly, he pats his shoulder, laying your head on the firm, stable shoulder that you’ve grown to depend on. Nuzzling your face against his soft flannel shirt, Dongwoon takes your hand into his own, slowly tracing his fingers in your palm, intertwining his long fingers with yours. You sit together, breathing slowly, your heartbeats slowly becoming one. You close your eyes, letting your mind indulge, let your mind think of them again.. peel back every raw layer, letting yourself hurt again. Subconsciously, you reach up to touch the silver charm around your neck.
The promise of your everlasting bond...
__________________
“Do you need any help up there?” Dongwoon called from downstairs, huffing as he carries boxes to the truck.
You look at the nearly full boxes around you, sighing. “Noo. I’m almost done up here.” you call back, as you open the bottom drawer in Sunggyu’s closet. One more drawer to go. You.. you’ve been putting off packing for a long time. But you need this. A fresh start. They weren’t coming back. They didn’t even love you enough for a proper goodbye. You blink back angry tears, no tears today, you promised yourself.
Coughing, you pull out the creaky drawer filled with winter sweaters that hardly got worn, dust balls floating in the air. You carefully place them one by one in the last box ready to be sealed up. You pull out the last woolly sweater in surprise, noticing a pale pink envelope lodged in the back corner with your name on it. Your heart beats faster as you rip it open. What the..... you bite your knuckles hard to prevent from crying out as your eyes pored hungrily over the short, sloppy hand written note.
Hey babe..by the time you find this, we hope that you have forgiven your oppas. I wish we could have said.. good bye the right way. Both times. I guess when it comes to goodbyes, there’s never a proper way. But we promise you..In the next life, we will grow old together. We will say good bye with white hair.
This necklace.. we got it for you a long time ago as a good luck charm for your first concert..but never got a chance to give it to you....
Tipping the envelope upside down, a thin silver chain slides out connect by an shiny silver infinity charm. You hold it tightly in your palm, your knuckles white.
It’s pretty right? Like you ^_^ Please wear it well...
Until we meet again..
Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Woohyun, Hoya, L, Sungyeol, Sungjong
_______________
The closure. The closure you so desperately needed.. now dangling on your thin collarbone. A daily reminder that...they’d want you to be happy.
“Are you OK?” Dongwoon asks softly, squeezing your hand. You let out the breath that you've been holding. Physically, metaphorically...
You look at the beautiful man before you, so patient, loving. Always there for you, desperately needing for you to be full again.
Lifting your head, you kiss him sweetly on his lips, still tasting of vanilla, catching him by surprise.
Smiling, he cups your face softly, lingering for just a second longer.
“I am now.”
The end.
A/N: Ugh. Sorry for the sloppy ending. On one hand I wanted it to end at the last chapter but …. I thought it needed some sort of closure, no matter how weak :( never writing a sad story again haha, sad stories are impossible to have endings.
Thank you so much for reading <3 and WHOS EXCITED FOR THEIR WIN TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. OMG.
A/N: Ugh. Sorry for the sloppy ending. On one hand I wanted it to end at the last chapter but …. I thought it needed some sort of closure, no matter how weak :( never writing a sad story again haha, sad stories are impossible to have endings.
Thank you so much for reading <3 and WHOS EXCITED FOR THEIR WIN TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. OMG.
Comments