I waited for him outside their house. His diary, what’s written on it, and his thoughts; I felt like I trespassed into someone’s property but at the same time, I found out about how he cared so much.

I leaned on the brick wall of their gate, all thoughts on his diary. I saw shadows coming, from the corner of my eye, there he was, finally.

“Yoon Seul…” He called, startled for seeing me there. He walked closer, and soon I faced him. I quickly hugged him and I felt his hands caressing my back. I was about to cry but I tried not to. I managed not to. “I’m sorry…” I uttered, still my face buried on his covered chest. I hugged him tighter. I missed him. It never crossed my mind that we’re just friends, nothing more. But the way I hugged him, was obviously an act like I’m her girlfriend.

I pulled off of him, “I’m sorry. I was just afraid.” He frowned, trying to get what I said. He stood there innocently; he doesn’t know why I avoided him for a month. He doesn’t know he appeared in my dream. I feel so guilty. He held onto my shoulders, staring and studying my face. “Tell me, what’s wrong.”

I couldn’t tell him. I paused for a moment, thinking what’s best to say. I noticed he wasn’t already carrying any crutches, I’m happy for him. “You can already walk without those crutches.” I said.

-

Jong In asked me to wait at the living room while he prepare for some snacks. Once again, I saw the picture frame from the console, that picture filled with smiles of a 4-member family. Jong In suddenly called me while carrying a tray with glasses of juice. “Yoon Seul-ah… I have something to tell you.”

Again, my heart pumped fast again, thinking that he’ll confess about the accident. His next words made my assumption a failure.

“It’s about my parents… and my brother” He cleared his throat. I stared at him and it seems like he’s about to cry. “I’m sorry for lying to you about them but… they were long dead…” And then he sobbed like a child who longed for an embrace of a parent. I couldn’t help but cry too. I gave him an embrace and he just won’t stop crying. I think it’s not the right time to talk about the diary.

--

Today, I helped him clean their house. He told me a few days ago, that he wanted to start over again. I’ll help him when I have time, or on the weekend which I suggested.

We first cleaned the living room, and again, I studied the features of its interior. It looked the same as what I saw in my dream. Anyway, I don’t want to recall that dream again. I went over the shelf and trailed the dust cleaner along the books. On the lower section of the shelf were photo albums aligned, I took one and opened it. Inside were mostly photos of Jongin, his brother, and some other kids of their age. As I flipped over the pages, I could see more kids added to every photos and one of these has caught my attention. One of the kids in that picture looked familiar. I haven’t seen him in person, but if can remember who exactly he is, his childhood photo would clearly remind me it was him. I deeply thought where I must have seen this person.

He then pointed to the boy next to his brother, the one familiar for me. “You know this one?” He asked and I just stared at him while waiting for him to continue. He stared back at me and then grinned. That face was the cutest I have ever seen! He then continued while flipping the pages and as he stopped into another page and took out a hidden photo at the back of one, “He’s my brother’s best friend, Do Kyung Soo…. But…” he paused.

So, he was Do Kyung Soo. I can now remember where I’ve seen him! He was in my dream! Why do the people involved in my dream are the people I don’t know the most? The feeling of configuring my dream’s mystery resurfaced in me, I think it will keep me bothered if I never find out why all things are connected to my dream. Anyway, I didn’t tell him about that. “but he’s long dead…” His voice lowered. I caressed his cheek without myself realizing I was out of limits. “I’m sorry about that.” But he just responded me a smile, and the way his cheek moved up, I felt it in my palm. He then held the wrist of the hand I put on his cheeks, taking it, and placed a peck on it.

--

On the days I was alone at the school cafeteria, and sometimes at the library, he would just appear there until he’s the one I have to be with for the rest of my vacant hours. He once asked me for a picnic near the forest, and no matter how the meadows looked the same in my dream, I ignored the fear of it being real. Although we went out so often, we stayed as friends; he’d never asked me for out as a guy but always as a friend. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me, but what we have is somewhat like enough to me, for now. I’m not hesitant to let everything go with the flow until the right time comes.

At midnight, he would call me, checking if I had eaten my dinner and if I finished my home works. He was caring, so much more than I could ask of having a boyfriend. We were best friends for a long time, and even until we graduated from college. Neither of us took one single move of confessing such feelings. We were alright with what we had throug