A/N: Because nobody is ever too perfect. Enjoy!

Chapter 10

“You’re so cute, I don’t know what to do with you,” Jongdae murmurs to himself, sincerely at conflict with himself. He takes another glance at Cho and sighs heavily yet somewhat dreamily, fingers subconsciously ghosting over her exposed cheek. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the alarm clock change time, signalling that it’s becoming late and there’s work to do tomorrow. Sighing again, he picks himself up and grabs a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, somehow suddenly reminded of the morning he woke up in Cho’s apartment.

The whole ordeal was strange, in a sense. By the time he had woken up, Cho was off to work but had kindly left a plate of breakfast on the dining table with a folded note. He ate it heartily and decided to wash his dish and utensils before dragging him and his full stomach to the living room to pick up after himself. Letting the air mattress deflate, he folded the blankets and set them on the couch, not too entirely sure of where they came from. The borrowed clothes and mattress were also folded neatly to the side and he took one last look before leaving and locking the door with they key on top of the door-sill that she had mentioned in the note.

By the time Jongdae has replayed the scene in his head frame by frame, the shower is done and he steps out of the stall and dries himself off. He wraps the towel firmly around his waist and looks into the mirror, only to meet fog and blurriness covering his figure. With no energy to wipe the mirror, he shakes his head and brushes his teeth.

He’s drying his hair when he quietly steps out of the bathroom and towards his bedroom, only to find that the bed is neatly made and no Cho or her guitar in sight. Jongdae jogs over to the bed where a sticky note that’s been scribbled on from his desk lies on the pillow that he had set her head on. In the neat cursive-like print that seems vaguely familiar, he reads:

I’m okay. Thank you for everything.

-Cho

Jongdae lets out a frustrated sigh. She didn’t look okay and didn’t look like she will be okay over the next few days. But now it’s dark and he wouldn’t be able to find her. Perhaps she needs some space by herself.

All of a sudden, he vividly recalls the night he saw her sitting by the Han River and how fragile she had looked, her knees drawn up to her chest and arms rested on her kneecaps, hair flowing behind her in messy tangles. Nonetheless, she still looked angelic, but so so sad. Melancholy, almost borderline pitiful.

Please take care of yourself, Cho.

-

Senior Prom night, 2010

Bodies are everywhere on the dance floor, heavy bass pounding through the auditorium and through people’s hearts. Cho and her date are pulling some legitimate moves with the group of friends they had gotten dinner and pictures with earlier. It’s been so long she’s felt this free to do whatever.

Cho turns her head and spots Jongdae in the process, but instead of Kate in front of him, there’s another girl. He nearly has his arms around her and Cho observes how he always shifts to be behind her, almost borderline grinding her. After looking away and then looking back at the next song, he’s still with her and as a dance light swivels in the direction of Jongdae’s girl, Cho recognizes her as his ex-girlfriend. Throughout the night, Jongdae never leaves her side.

Disappointment and shock are the first emotions to strike her in the heart. Why would he ask Kate to prom and then not dance with her at all? Why would he shove Kate, one of the smartest, sweetest girls in the entire world, to the side to get touchy-feely with his ex-girlfriend? Kate looks like nothing but a third wheel as Cho sees her a little ways next to them.

All the respect she had for Jongdae dropped at that moment.

That image of perfection so neatly laid in her head that was bolstered by concrete evidence had just gone into shambles.

“How could you, Jongdae?”

-

Cho shivers, partly from the flashback and partly from the night cold. Jongdae had been so affectionate with her and it all seemed like this one unforgettable dream. But when she woke up in his bed and tightly tucked in for guaranteed warmth, she realized that Jongdae was not her reality.

Jongdae was not her daily reality check to keep her from veering too far into fanfiction-like expectations. He was simply too good to be true.

And the very memory haunted her. Prom was almost five years ago, yet she could never forget how the sight tore down her image of him. She never knew why it never bothered her until now. Maybe it was because they weren’t really close in high school and so she subconsciously jumped at the chance to be close when he found her at the Han River.

When she looks up from the sidewalk, she’s in front of Cafe Sylvia somehow and notices how there’s virtually no one in there. Some hot chocolate would do, she decides, and opens the door to let herself in. Cho meekly smiles at the barista behind the cash register and sets her guitar on the ground before fishing out the amount of money needed for the mug of warm goodness. She picks a high booth in the far left corner of the cafe and sets her guitar there before going back to grab her mug.

Cho is disappointed but not surprised when the liquid doesn’t make her feel that much better. She does understand why she’s still so shaken up by a memory so old, though. Even after hot chocolate, Jongdae still wouldn’t be her reality no matter what happened. And if they ever ended up together, it’d be the farthest dimension away from reality itself and she can’t have that. She’s never liked being lifted up too far from the ground because she hates the pain of the impact so much that it turns her stomach inside out and makes her clench too painfully.

Cho doesn’t even realize she’s quietly crying until a couple of tears have already trekked down her face and dropped onto her hands that are holding the cup on each side. At the sensation, she takes in a sharp breath before blinking her eyes rapidly and grabbing a napkin from the napkin holder on her table to wipe her face, hands, and eyes.

Akdong Musician’s cover of Eyes, Nose, Lips is playing softly throughout the cafe and Cho chuckles bitterly to herself. Everything was so relatable at this moment and it sickened her. Her phone’s notification tone goes off and she looks at it to see that Jongdae has texted her, asking if she was okay and safe in her apartment. A little white lie couldn’t hurt more than anything else did right now, so she texts back a simple “Yes and yes” before putting her phone down. Ten seconds hasn’t passed before another text comes in that wishes sweet dreams and a good sleep and Cho chokes on a small sob. This is exactly why she hated deviating too far from reality.

Because she wasn’t strong enough to take the impact once she fell.