Lee Jieun's pov

I was hopping up and down impatiently, and that earned a few glances from the people passing by. It was hard not to just dial him and whine on the phone, but I didn't like whining about something as stupid as this. Still, I was really irritated by the fact that he was late, it's the third time this week already! I knew he was very busy ever since he got that job in the office, but jeez, I'm his girlfriend for Pete's sake!

Does he have to make this lovable and totally gorgeus girlfriend of his to wait? Well, I'm not totally gorgeus nor lovable, I was just exaggerating a bit. No, I mean a lot. Sure, I had changed after that winter. A lot of things changed actually. I was no longer sad, and I definetely wasn't depressed anymore. I felt these feelings I hadn't felt in three long years. 

Nothing I knew was the same it was before. All those sleepless nights, puffy eyes, and that miserable feeling that I felt was replaced with happiness, pure happiness. I felt happy after a long time of waiting, it felt like I had finally achieved it, my goal. I felt relieved that my heart could rest and gather some more strenght to survive the coming future, which I hoped wouldn't be as bad as it was.

I could feel the spring day's bright sun, I felt the cold rain that dripped over me, I felt the coldness of our house once again. I felt... saved. Saved by that one person, my own special prince Charming, the person called Kim Suho. Well, his real name was Kim Joonmyeon, but he preferred people calling him Suho. He might have some personal reason for that, or it's just that it sounded cooler, but I didn't mind calling him that and I didn't want to ask something I wasn't supposed to know yet.

I was snapped out of my thoughts suddenly, when someone covered my eyes with large and warm hands. A smile crept to my face as I recognized the owner of this hand and this scent I smelled hovering around me. "Oppa!" I exclaimed happily. He was now used to being called 'oppa', and he even forced me to say it all the time. He said I was cute when I acted like that, but I didn't quite believe him yet.

I heard him chuckle sweetly behind me, and then he turned me around to face him before he finally released his arms. I opened my eyes and saw his beautiful smile that was reservated for me, the smile I didn't want to ever see vanishing from his face. Suho closed his eyes and tapped his lips with his finger like he'd be expecting a kiss for a prize. I decided to act frustrated by the fact he was late, so instead of a kiss, I slapped his chest gently.

"What took you so long?" I asked and pouted without thinking. He opened one of his eye to glance at me and when he saw my pout, he started laughing out loud.

"You have changed so much." He stated and I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Why do you make it sound like a bad thing?" I asked sadly.

"No, no no! It's extremely cute and awesome! I wouldn't like you to be a zombie anymore!" He corrected quickly.

"Thanks.." I replied, not knowing if it was a compliment or not. I mean, I was a zombie, but did he have to say it like that? He patted my head, trying to assure me it was a good thing. I smiled at him and managed to look at the time on his wristwatch.

"Yah!" I shouted and he froze immediately.

"W...What's wrong?" He asked and tried to study me.

"We're late from the movie!" I shouted. He blinked couple of times with that blank look of his, but after awhile of thinking, he finally cracked a smile dedicated to me.

"Yeah, sorry about that... Something unexpected happened at the office." He explained and I did believe him. He was always tired after work and here he was, spending time with the impatient me.

I felt sorry for him, but I really wanted to see the movie! Really! Yes I know, it was an animation, a children's movie, but I love animations! Especially Disney. I'm quite childish and I might not seem like 21year old, but who cares? There are other adults that like to watch them as well! I could clearly see Suho didn't want to see that, but I really did.

I sighed in defeat, knowing we couldn't go there anymore. Suho must've felt my frustration and disappointment, and he started hugging me tightly. "I'm sorry..." He muttered.

"It's fine.. What do we do now?" I asked. Okay, I did lie it was fine, but why would I force him to do something he obviously didn't want to do?

I glanced up to see his face and he looked really apologetic. It made me want to regret every little bad thought I had about him. "Aish.." I muttered under my breath, so that he couldn't hear. "Whatever, let's just grab some chinese and cuddle on the couch." I said. He brightened in seconds and pulled me by my hand already. He really didn't want to see that movie, huh?

I felt like we were at that point of relationship, where you needed no words to understand each others feelings. Well, at least I didn't and maybe he didn't either. That only meant our relationship was special, unlike our not so flashy pasts. I didn't have this feeling with Sehun and I don't think he had this with her. But, how could I know? I wasn't there.

Finally we entered the chinese near our house, only couple blocks away. We both absolutely loved chinese food and we had already befriended all the workers. They always said how cute we were together and we always got special discounts other customers didn't. We'd usually hang out with them while eating, but today was our date, so no way, not today. 

The workers awed in glee when we explained why we wouldn't stay there and chat, so they prepared the food immediately. They made it fast, so we were ready to head home almost immediately. I just had to use the toilet really badly, so I didn't know what to do. Walk home or just use one of the toilets here? I knew I couldn't last the way home, I had to use one those toilets in here.

"Suho, I'm going to use the toilet. You want to go ahead? I can pay." I offered. He seemed puzzled, not knowing how he should act or what should he say. "Or are you going to wait?" I suggested. He thought about it for a while before an mysterious smirk appeared on his face.

"Nah, I'll just prepare an surprise for you." He said with a wink. I laughed happily and walked to the toilets. 

After I was ready, I paid the food he had taken already and started to walk after him. I decided to walk fast since I couldn't wait to see the surprise Suho had for me. I thought I walked really fast since I catched up with him before he had even reached home.

He was near our house and soon, I realized he had just stopped walking. He was standing still, staring at something. No, someone. That someone, a woman, was sitting at our porch. I didn't recognize her, but something about her was so familiar..

"Oppa, who is she?" I asked Suho as I suddenly clung to his arm. He flinched and I had this déjà vu from the times with Sehun I didn't really want to have. He looked so distant that I didn't know what to think. I haven't seen him like this since.. since last Christmas. Does that mean that woman over there is-

"Suho oppa!" I heard the woman shout brightly and loudly.

She just ran over and hugged Suho while I stood there frozen. If I didn't recognize her by her looks, I certainly did when I heard her voice. That was a voice I hadn't heard in awhile, a voice that I could never forget.. I still remembered the mocking tone she used when she talked to me, no, laughed at me.

"Yeah, because you're a loser. I can't believe someone like you even exists."

Ouch. Even after all this time, I had to admit it did stung and hard. And now, she was back, hugging Suho right in front of me. She didn't have a permission. That... That.. Witch!

"Uhmm.. Hi. I'm his girlfriend." I noted her, cutting their lovely reunion. Sooyoung didn't even ask for my permission to do that, that hug was illegal! Or can I say it was illegal? It should be! Let's make a new law, do not hug other girl's boyfriend or you're getting an justified punch on your face. There, I like that.

But the thing that made me hurt was the fact, that Suho didn't shove her away. I didn't know if his mind was playing a trick on him or was it his heart. Whatever it was, it made me feel sad to feel like she still had some space inside of him. That.. He might still care about her. I had to stop thinking that stuff now or I'd lose my mind by those thoughts.

Suho finally moved the puzzled Sooyoung away and came towards me. He placed his hand around my waist and pulled me closer to him to show her I spoke the truth. I didn't know if he just read my mind or was everything just my imagination, but it did make me feel a lot better. I saw Sooyoung narrowing her eyes for a split second, but then she blinked and acted like nothing happened.

I wasn' sure if it was only my imagination, but I started to have some bad feelings about her and it made me uncomfortable. Or then I was just super jealous that she was once closer to Suho than I was now. I remembered the hug that happened less than a minute ago, and I felt like boiling. Yep, definetely jealous. 

"You're dating now?" Sooyoung asked with a sugary voice that had a curious tone, but that tone did have something else inside it. I'm not a master at recognizing feelings, but her words seemed bitter.

I could see she tried to act all innocent, but I wasn't convinced. Like she'd try to make us believe her and maybe.. pity her. Something about her just kept bugging me really, really much. 

I sighed and tried to let all these negative feelings go away, so I wouldn't do anything stupid because I was simply jealous. I didn't want to embarrasse Suho in front of his hot ex I conviently hated. No one would like that, right?

"Why are you here Sooyoung?" Suho asked with an tired voice, Sooyoung spoke at the same time.

"Can I move in with you again?" She asked out of nowhere with those big innocent eyes. I tried not to gasp dramatically and I tried not to cry from the frustration I felt. It was hard, since it felt like I received a punch on my stomach. A punch she gave, she hit me with her fist and it hurted, a lot.

"Why? I'm already living with Jieun. Besides, you still have Sehun." Suho pointed out and I felt like patting his head proudly. Sooyoung stared at the ground and there was an awkward moment of silence between us three. I shifted uncomfortably under Suho's grib and wanted this to end soon.

"We... We broke up." She revealed sadly. I had the talent to recognize a voice that was sad, and that certainly wasn't it. Hey, after being sad for so long, it was unavoidable to get used to hearing the real sadness in people's tones. So... You got fed up with him already. And you came here, because...?

"Are you alright?" Suho asked out of the blue, and took his hand that was hugging me, away.

I felt shocked by his actions as he ran to his ex and hugged her. I was also shocked to see Sooyoung stare at me victoriously. I was really pissed, but I tried to calm myself. Maybe I was just imagining things out of jealousy and she was actually sad. Maybe she was one hell of a- stop! Don't start this Jieun. Not you, you weren't like this.

Suho was comforting her, because he knew excatly how she felt. But the thing was, she was the one that dumped him. It might have been some instant karma, but I knew we hadn't heard the whole story. He was just comforting her, and comforting a sad lady was a good thing. Suho had manners, of course he would do so.

"Suho.. I'm just going to go inside and prepare the food, okay?" I suggested, wanting to leave them alone. He looked at me like he had just remembered my existence and nodded, NODDED without words and handed me the food. Calm down Jieun, calm down now. He didn't mean it, you saw wrong and you understood his actions wrong. Chill!

I tried to smile at them friendly, but I guess my smile was just one of those crooked smiles I used to give before. I entered our house and when I had closed the door, I dropped the food and leaned on the door quietly. Why does it feel this horrible to see them together? They have broken up, but why do I feel like they're the ones dating?

After a long time, pure sadness washed over me again. I've been too happy to notice that maybe I was the only one. It seems like he wasn't as happy as I thought he would be with me. It took three years for me, why wouldn't he still love her? Who am I to judge if he had tried, but still was unable move on. I should be there for him, supporting him. 

I sighed at my stupid reaction and started to take my shoes off. I heard the door open and saw Suho coming in. I was expecting him to smile his angelic smile and assure me that everything was okay, so I looked at him with hopeful eyes. And then he opened his mouth.

"Can she move in with us?" He asked and my head started spinning.

It was hard to breathe for awhile, but I managed to stand straight like I wasn't affected. He was studying me, but obviously he didn't know what I felt. So, I was the only one that needed no words. I looked his eyes that were begging me to say yes. I wasn't sure was his heart begging as well, but I had to trust him. Without trust, how could we be together?

"Are you sure about this?" I asked while staring at his eyes. I didn't want him to break the eye contact even for a second. That would only mean he wasn't sure about his feelings, and that would kill me.

"Yes. Please, I beg! Just for awhile!" He pleaded. I smiled at him faintly and nodded.

"For you.." I said.

Without a hug, without a kiss, he left outside to tell the news. No thanks were heard, nothing. It made me feel hurt, but I kept it inside of me as i knew he didn't mean it. He loved me, and he would surely repay that later tonight. Maybe he just felt like it would be awkward in front of his ex.

I left to the kitchen to prepare the food that wasn't enough for three. I was starving, but I couldn't let our guest starve as well. She could think I did that on purpose. Besides, I could eat some bread or something, no big deal. I had lost appetite anyway, just by looking at her made the deed. 

I took the chinese and put it on two big plates. I knew they were waiting in the dining room already, so I hurriedly warmed the food in the microwave before serving them. I sat on the opposite side of Suho, since Sooyoung had already occupied the seat next to him. "Are you not eating?" Suho asked me. I was glad that he managed to noticed it.

 "No, I already ate some while preparing it to you. I wasn't that hungry anyway." I lied to him. Sooyoung didn't even pay attention to me, but I didn't let it bother. Suho nodded to me, and then they digged in. Maybe this wasn't as bad as I thought...

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I was terribly wrong. Sooyoung promised to get a job in two months, but a month had gone by already. I hadn't seen her look any job applications, I hadn't seen her even have one resume. She didn't even pay for the rent or her own food! All she did, was to take my position as his girlfriend. She didn't do it literally, but with small steps, she tried to push me away. 

Suho couldn't even see it coming, so he had no chance. I was the only one suffering there at that moment. I have tried to talk about it with him, but he didn't believe me. Instead of believing in me, he defended her. He defended her with these facts of her being homeless and jobless. When I tried to argue with him, that she didn't even look for a job, he said I was just overreacting.

Today, was another day like that. A day full of heartbreaks. I had just woken up from the beautiful dream I had. It involved me and Suho, and we were on a picnic in a place that had a beautiful scenery. We laughed, we played around and we kissed. We were a true couple, until I woke up.

No matter how much I have tried to convince myself, that I was just jealous, it didn't help. What I saw everything that happened between them, made me feel like a stranger in our home. They were the couple, and I was the guest. I was the liar and th paranoid girlfriend. I didn't dare to say ex, it would have broken my heart.

I walked outside my and Suho's bedroom and I immediately saw them. They were sitting beside each other once again, playing games with Suho's ipad. Sooyoung almost sat on Suho's lap, while Suho just concentrated on playing. They cheered when they won, and even high-fived. I walked towards them, but I was stopped by the feeling of being a stranger again. 

"Look! That reminds me of 'chick-Lee'" Sooyoung said and pointed out something on the screen. I didn't know, what or who chick-Lee was. It must've been a funny inside joke they shared when they were still dating. No outsiders would know, myself included.

I smiled at them, looking at the perfect picture in front of me, the picture that didn't involve me. I walked past them to the kitchen and started preparing today's lunch. Yes, lunch. I sleep late, so it was already noon. Wait... It was already noon?

I hurried outside the kitchen to the room I previously escaped from, and opened my mouth. "Suho oppa!" Sooyoung said just a second before I did.

"What? You want to play?" He asked her. Sooyoung giggled cheerfully and shook her head.

"No, oppa. Time to work!" She reminded him and he looked at the clock. 

"Oh? You're right, I must go now." He said and stood up. 

When he glanced up, he met my eyes. "Jieun! You were awake already! Why didn't you join us?" He asked. Because you didn't need me. Because I feel hurt that you share something with some other woman than me. The fact that you guys are closer than we ever were, hurts me.

"I didn't want to bother and ruin your game." I said truthfully, but it was only a part of the truth.

"Oh okay." He stated and almost passed me.

"Ahem, mister." I declared, trying to keep our close relationship glued to the full picture I was invited in as well, so that it wouldn't fall apart.

"Yes, honey." He muttered and came towards me. I closed my eyes and expected a kiss, but only received a peck on my forehead. I was lucky that he was in a hurry, so he didn't see that one little tear that slipped from my eye. The tear of seeing how I had lost him already, I had no hope anymore.

I wiped the small tear away and went back to the kitchen, forgetting that Sooyoung was still here as her lovely self. I hadn't heard her entering the kitchen, so I was frightened by her sudden comment.

"Making food?" She asked. The tone she used, wasn't the one she used around Suho. No, this tone was cold and uncaring with a hint of mock. Ah, my favourite.

"Yes." I simply stated, trying to ignore her hawkeyes.

"Huh. What are you doing?" She suddenly shrieked. I looked at her in confusion.

"Sushi." I stated simply again. This was our conversation, her mockings and my one word answers that always crashed against each other.

"He doesn't like sushi." She stated. What?

"Yes he does. He has eaten it with me before and he said it was delicious." I claimed, and that was the truth. Sooyoung smirked and narrowed her eyes.

"Well, he lied. He doesn't like it. Actually, all the foods you have prepared for us, don't fit his taste." She said.

Now that was absurd. Why would he say my food was good, if it wasn't? That doesn't make any sense! I was getting enough by her disturbance, so I stopped cutting the salmon and washed my hands.

"Why are you even doing this to me?" I muttered out loud, not in purpose. I didn't want her to think she had beaten me already.

"Have you seen how he doesn't touch you as much as he did before?" Sooyoung pressured and walked closer to me. I felt intimidated by her sudden presence of dominance and power. "Don't you know why?" She asked, but I still wanted to deny the fact she was trying to hint about. "Because.." She started, playing with the words in , enjoying the moment fully.

"Don't say it." I muttered, trying to stop her from saying it. I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want to believe it. She smiled at me evilly and put on her innocent act again. "Suho loves me more than you." She stated with a cute voice that didn't match her at all. I accidentally dropped a plate from the table and it shattered on the ground. 

"Oh... Déjà vu." Sooyoung stated, and she reminded me of the last winter she broke up with Suho. Here she was, stealing him away from me. My only hope.

"Sooyoung? Jieun?" We heard Suho yell. Like on que, Sooyoung sat on the ground and acted fearful little girl, all innocent and pure. She wasn't deceiving me any longer, she wasn't an enough good actress to do that.

Suho arrived in the kitchen, and dashed towards the weeping Sooyoung that shed crocodile tears. "What happened?" He asked her, not me. He paid attention to her, but not to me.

"She.. She said I was an evil witch that tried to ruin your relationship.." She started and I couldn't believe what I heard. Sure, I did think that way, but she made it sound so... Evil, full of hatred. It was funny, that was the truth anyway.

Suho glared at me quickly, but that one quick glare held so much pure hate and disappointment I almost lost the power on my knees.

"I tried to convince that she got it wrong.. T-that I just tried to help her.... But she threw that plate towards my direction..." Sooyoung said with a cracking voice and tears. 

"Suho-" I started, but I stopped when I saw the way he looked at me.

He believed her, I saw it. He belived her, even though I was his girlfriend. Didn't he know me at all? Didn't he know how much I endured? It would be impossible for me, to suddenly throw things broken and yell at people. He should know it. Or maybe not, I have changed so much that he might not know what kind of person I really was. Maybe... He didn't know me as well I thought he did.

"Why did you do that?" He asked harshly. I looked him in the eyes and remained silent. I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't know how to defend myself, when I felt like I lost my hope once again. I thought this hope he gave me was secured, but I was wrong. Nothing in this world lasts forever, not even us it seemed.

"How could you do that to her?" Suho asked again, but slowly the hate was disappearing. He started to realize what he was doing, and who he was blaming. He even knew who was the one he defended and cared about. Someone else than me, and now it was too late.

I couldn't stop the tears that already showed how hurt I felt. I knew he regretted it already after seeing my tears. I knew him. And I knew Sooyoung hadn't left his heart. I knew I had no place in here, not yet. I had to go, I had to go far away so I couldn't get hurt again. "Goodbye." I said and left.

I did it. I actually did it. I ruined my life again. What do I have? No home, no family that would accept me, not enough money until I take double shifts for months and I left my purse with my wallet inside. It started raining again. Rain... That was the thing we had in common..

So maybe we didn't share the chick-Lee joke or the same taste of food if Sooyoung really was right. We didn't share years of life together like they did, but I didn't mind it before she showed up. I thought we had something special, something unique compared to their old relationship. It to be terribly wrong, or maybe not. We did have something unique, a relationship of three. Couples didn't usually have three people in it, so at least we had something.

I was happy that the rain made me feel better. It was the start, and so shall it be the end as well. Sehun was my past now, I let go of him after that rainy day with Suho. Am I able to do it for Suho too? Am I able to get over him? I didn't even want to break up with him. I didn't want to leave him. Will I be the useless and pathetic me all over again?

But why do I feel so... so at ease? What is this feeling? Why am I feeling like this? It's like... I'm relieved or something. Now why would I be relieved with breaking up with the man I love? My thoughts were interrupted by the shouts of a man, but my mind was in an ingnoring mode.

"JIEUN!" Someone yelled right behind me. I turned around, ready to yell at that person, but the words got stuck in my throat when I saw Suho behind me. Now, all the sadness decided to finally show itself. My feelings were hiding, not wanting to put my heart fo through that hell again, but when I saw him standing in front of me, I couldn't help but to feel devastated.

"What?" I asked and even with that one word, my voice cracked.

"Listen Jieun, I'm so sorry!" He shouted with passion, even though he was standing right in front of me, only couple steps away from me.

"And what about it? Go to your girlfriend!" I shouted back and turned my back to him.

"I can't! Because you are my girlfriend!" Suho shouted after me, stopping my steps.

"Am I?" I asked him when I turned around. I was curious if I really was his girlfriend, at least I didn't feel like it, not at all.

"Yes!" He said confidently and started walking towards me with a light smile on his face. I almost believed him for a moment, until...

"Oppa! Wait!" Sooyoung shouted as she ran towards us. Suho stopped walking. He stopped when Sooyoung ordered so.

That was the last sign for me. He hadn't moved on, he still loved her too much to let go. I wasn't needed when his heart still took her side and didn't accept mine shattered one.

"I should've known it wasn't that easy... I should have listened to my mind. I'm not you girlfriend, Suho... She is." I said sadly as I pointed towards Sooyoung that had caught up with us already.

She grinned happily at me, thinking she won against me. Right now, I didn't care even if she thought so. Heck, she could be even the queen, not that I cared.

"This all happened because I trusted you too much. You could've told me you couldn't let go of her and I could have helped you." I started, trying to gather all my strength to talk. Suho looked at me and tried to approach me, but I stopped him.

"I offered myself to you, giving you everything I had. Yet, you still couldn't share what you felt with me." I said and Suho seemed to be hurt by my words. "I'm not saying I'm not at fault as well. I should have said no, when you asked me if she could live with us. I should've acted like a normal jealous girlfriend and say that, but I didn't. I gave her a permission to destroy us instead." I said and I felt how my heart ached with every word I said.

Suho looked at me in agony. I didn't know did he feel guilty, or did he get mad by my words that hurted even myself. Maybe he took my words for real, and now he thought I willingly let this happen. Whatever it was, this couldn't be avoided any longer.

"Don't contact me unless you don't need her anymore. If I don't hear about you in a year, I can only assume you started again with her." I stated firmly. I even shocked myself with that, I said it so confidently. "Goodbye." I said once again, but this time I left and didn't turn back.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

It was the sound of my tears mixed with rain. Secretly, my heart whispered a wish.

'Please let him come to my side once again.' 

I'm sorry that I didn't update this as fast as I promised! T.T I'm really sorry if the ending was a bit crappy. I planned an happy ending first, but then I don't know what came into me and made me ruin it.

Thank you for you all that waited for this patiently! As you can see, this series might turn to be a trilogy~ What about that? Any supporters?

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