That was a year ago; Now all we seem to do is fight. All day. Everyday. About the big things. About the small things. We just can't seem to agree on anything. Today, you struck me. We were fighting, screaming, breaking things then something made contact with my cheek. A sharp sting and the sound of something ripping. I thought you had thrown something again and broken it, but no, you had slapped me and my heart tore in two. That was it. I knew, right there and then, we could never go back to the way we used to be.

~ ~ ~

We are a broken couple; always fighting; wondering where we went wrong; wanting to break free from our misery, but we can't seem to say goodbye. 
I'm now here, all alone in the dark, waiting for you to come back home while endless tears flow down my cheeks. 
And you, where are you right now? Probably at a club, getting yourself drunk and hooking up with some random girl before dragging yourself back home. To our apartment. To me. 
Why can't you just tell me you don't love me anymore, so I can be released from the chains of misery. I can't survive, not without you, so I might as well...disappear. 

We were going to be perfect. We are perfect. We were perfect. 
When did it happen? 
Did it happen the first time you didn't come home until 1am and I got mad at you?
You just told me you had been out with friends, having a drink and catching up.
But honey, I'm not blind, I saw the lipstick stains on your collar. 
You slept on the other side of the bed that night. 
Or was it when I found some female underwear that was definitely not mine and I got mad at you? 
You just told me that it belonged to your sister who had been staying over at our place while I was away visiting my parents for a week. 
But honey, I'm not naive, your sister is only 11 years old. 
You slept on the couch that night. 
Or was it when you were in the shower and you received a text message from a girl asking if you wanted to come and 'play' with her tonight and I got mad at you?
You just told me that it must've been a wrong number. 
But honey, I'm not stupid, I clearly saw who it was addressed to. 
You didn't come home that night. 

~ ~ ~

I saw you. Yesterday, crossing the street, with a beautiful girl latched onto your arm. You were getting looks of envy from jealous men, and she, receiving looks of jealousy from envious women.

Remember when that used to be us? 

You looked so happy; much happier than you had been when you were with me. Did you really love me? Or was I just some tool for you to make your way to my best friend - or should I say ex-bestfriend. 

~ ~ ~

Not once have you ever lost my love, even though I have already lost yours.

What was the point of promising that we would always love each other no matter what? 

Well, all promises are broken. I know that now, but if only I had known that a year ago. Maybe I wouldn't be suffering, having to try and convince myself that you still love me just so I can survive. 

~ ~ ~

Today, I came back from a 2 week long business trip that had been cut down to only 1 week.
I had planned on surprising you. I had quietly opened the door and walked in, when I heard something I never want to hear again. and names being called out. You had brought someone home? To our house? In our bed?
I had already used up all my tears ages ago so even though I wanted to cry, nothing came out. I was tired and fed up and I was going to make sure you knew. 
I started throwing things, anything that came into contact with my hands. The sounds of things breaking must've caught your attention, because you came running into the living room, with only a pair of boxes on. The look of shock on your face was evident, which then quickly turned to a look of panic when a female, your partner, my ex-best friend, came running into the room, wearing one of your shirts. 
You started stuttering, forcing out some lame excuse and both of you were apologising, while not once able to make eye contact with me.
"Just shut up Baekhyun. It's far too late for excuses and apologies that we both know you don't really mean." My voice coming out cold and hard, which made both of you look up startled. 
I shot both of you a dirty look and turned around to pull out some papers from my bag. I placed them on the table, along with my wedding ring. I picked up my bags and started walking out but before I left, I turned around to look at you for the last time.
"I think you know what's on those papers. All you need to do is sign and hand them in. You can do whatever with our wedding rings, we won't be needing them anymore. I will come back later to pick up the rest of my stuff, maybe if you could be a dear and even pack all of it for me?" I asked sarcastically.
"Baekhyun, I'm honestly sorry that we ended up this way, but answer this? Who's fault is this? Who ruined everything? You think long and hard. 
Goodbye Baekhyun, I would like to say it was nice knowing you but honestly, I wish we never met. Its harsh, I know, but life always is."
I then turned around and walked out of the door before I could hear your response. I closed the door behind me and walked down to my car. Hot, salty tears were running down my face. 
"Stupid girl, don't cry. He isn't worth your tears. You spent your entire married life, having to make yourself believe he loved you, just so you could survive! You had to tell yourself he was going to come home, even when you knew he wasn't! You asked yourself, every single day whether or not it was okay to love him just because you couldn't break it to your heart!
Stupid, well now you have! You have finally broken free and now you can be truly happy. He isn't worth it, he never was and he never will be."
And with those reassuring words coming out from my mouth, I drove away from that apartment that was supposed to bring us happiness. But finally I was freeing myself, and I was going to find my happiness somewhere else.

~ ~ ~

The End 

- Sequel will be posted in the next chapter(s) -

~annagracey~

xx