Kim Jinwoo – New York – Day 37

Jinwoo didn’t let this affect anything they had. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. If he acknowledged the truth, the harsh reality, he would crumble. He would run away like a coward. So he pushed away the truth. He hid it under piles of good memories and smiles. He wouldn’t let this ruin what he had. He wouldn’t let this ruin Sangyoon’s life. He just wouldn’t. He was going to do whatever it took to make the reality disappear, even if it meant lying.

“You don’t have to come every day. I’m fine really.” Sangyoon was living in her own lies. She couldn’t accept the reality either. She didn’t want to believe the words that spewed from the doctor’s lips. She didn’t want to believe that the treatment the nurses gave her was meant to try to keep her alive. She didn’t want to believe any of it. Not because she didn’t want to die but because she didn’t want what she had to be taken away from her. She finally found adventure and love but it was being taken away in less than a month of receiving it. She didn’t want to leave Jinwoo and she didn’t want Jinwoo to leave her.

“I want to come. If I can’t take you out, I’ll just come over and we’ll just have fun in this room.” But who were they kidding? What fun could they have? She couldn’t be near anything that could harbor harmful germs and bacteria. So what were they supposed to do? Lie around and just talk? But talk about what? What’s going on outside of her hospital room? But talking about that would make her feel horrible. What point was there to talk about something that she couldn’t enjoy?

“Can we talk about an old memory each day?” Jinwoo stopped taking off his coat and looked over his shoulder. Her eyes seemed to be smiling on the outside but he could tell she was trying her best not to cry. “Anything you want. Did you want to start today?” Sangyoon nodded and Jinwoo obliged. He lied down next to her, holding her now frail body into his arms. He tried to think of a good memory but every moment with her was amazing.

“What’s the first embarrassing memory that you can remember?” Jinwoo stared at her in surprise. Hadn’t she meant memories of them? Jinwoo cleared his throat “Getting lost in a grocery store.” Sangyoon smiled, amused. Jinwoo couldn’t help but smile as well. For the first time in days, she smiled and it was genuine. “What happened?” Jinwoo hummed and Sangyoon shifted close to his body, trying to get warm. “Well, I was about five or six at the time. My mom took me to this grocery store because they were having this huge sale. You see, they had just had their grand opening and to celebrate, they had a sale. Anyways, I remember walking there with my hand in my mom’s. When we got there, there was a ginormous crowd. People were pushing past one another and trying to grab whatever they could. Amidst the chaos, I accidentally let go of my mom’s hand. And it took hours just to be reunited with her.” Jinwoo went on to talk about every single detail that he could remember but soon he found himself tearing up. His words wouldn’t flow out and an imaginary lump formed in his throat.

Sangyoon stared at the wall parallel to the end of her bed. She could hear how he had become choked up and she tried her best not to cry as well. It wasn’t that sad of a story but it was just the thoughts that ran through their heads as he told the story. Jinwoo’s hold on her grew stronger and tighter. “Please don’t leave me.” His whisper was sad. Tears had already begun to flow silently. Sangyoon wrapped her arm around him and she hugged him as hard as she could. She wanted to tell him that she wouldn’t, that she couldn’t even if she wanted to. But she couldn’t because she would be lying. She would leave him one day and she would make him cry.

“Sangyoon, please tell me you won’t leave me. Tell me you won’t ever leave my arms and that you’ll lay with me here forever.” Sangyoon closed her eyes and a single tear rolled down the side of her pale face. “Sangyoon, please.” His pleas broke her heart. Why did he have to fall in love with her? Why couldn’t she be a healthy and normal person? Why did she have to leave him? What had she done wrong?

Jinwoo knew what her answer was by the way she held onto him for dear life. Her silence told him that she couldn’t promise him anything. She would leave him one day with a broken heart. She would cry as she leaves. And he would hold onto her until she drew her last breath. “Sangyoon, I’ll never let you go, I promise you.” Those words felt so right as they pierced her heart.

Lee Seunghoon – New York – Day 37

Five minutes passed, then ten. In the blink of an eye, an hour had passed and Katie was nowhere in sight. Seunghoon checked his watch and blew air into his cheeks. He wondered why she was late when she lived so close to the restaurant. He called her cell phone. She didn’t pick up. He called her home phone. She didn’t pick up. He called her cell again. She didn’t pick up. After calling her multiple times without getting a response, he grew concerned. He wondered if anything had happened to her. He took one step forward, about to make his way to her home but he stopped when loud sirens and police cars rushed past him and toward the direction he was headed.

He froze in his place. He turned his head and watched the police cars and fire truck go down the street. He prayed they wouldn’t turn right. But they did. He whispered her name in despair and ran to her home. He went down the street and turned right. His breath got caught in his throat when he saw the servicemen surrounding Katie’s home. He watched the paramedics bring out someone, covered by a white sheet. He saw someone else come out, dead. He grew dizzy.

He looked up and saw fire eating up the building. He wanted to scream at the firemen to put out the fire faster. He wanted to barge into the crumbling building and search for Katie. He wanted her to be alright. He wanted her in his arms, safe. He watched people stumble out but none of them were Katie. Then it dawned on him. What if she had already come out? Covered by a white sheet? He pushed through the large crowd of people who just watched a building burn down. He tried to look at the corpses but they didn’t allow him to. He helplessly stared at the exit.

His heart stopped when the last fireman came out, a limp body in his arms. She was covered in soot and ashes but he could tell that it was Katie. He made his way to the fireman and called out her name. He was held back as they performed CPR on her. They pumped her chest. They gave her oxygen. But she wouldn’t breathe. She wouldn’t open her eyes. Seunghoon fell to his knees and begged God to not take her. He begged Katie to stay with him.

“I’ve got a pulse!”

Seunghoon stared at the man who yelled out words he couldn’t comprehend. He saw Katie’s chest rising and falling, but barely. He grew relieved. He stumbled to stand back up. He watched them put her into the back of an ambulance. He was asked if he knew her. He partially understood, “Boyfriend. Her boyfriend.” The fireman urged him to get in with her. And he sat there, holding her slightly burned hand. “Katie, please open your eyes. You can’t stay like this. You’ll be okay. Katie?”

Song Mino – New York – Day 37

Her hand rested on his chest. His arm supported his head. His legged was propped up. They lied there silently, staring out into space, on her bed. Mino turned his head and stared at Minyoung, her eyes closed and her breaths even relaxed. A smile danced on his face as he traced her every feature. He could feel a wave of assorted emotions crash over him. He felt resentment toward the world for putting her through so much. He felt angry at himself for not meeting her sooner. He felt happy that she was his and was lying beside him, safe. And he felt sorrowful.

For a moment, his smile faltered and he felt gloomy. He looked over her closed eyes and apologized mentally for he would ring tears to those eyes someday. At that moment, as he mentally cursed himself, Minyoung’s eyes fluttered open and a loving smile appeared on her rested face. “That was a god rest.” As her eyes adjusted to the sunlight, she clearly saw Mino staring down at her with a troubled gaze. “What’s wrong?” Minyoung feared the worst but was soon comforted by his warm and safe embrace. He pulled away and tenderly her cheek, “Minyoung, I love you. More than the heavens. Much more than the amount of stars on a starry night.” She felt herself weakening and feeling as though she had lost control of her heart.

“I know. I love you just as much, Mino.” Slowly, lovingly, he began to lean in to capture her lips. Timidly, his lips waltzed on hers, as did hers. He slowly began to hover over her. His hand travelled her body gently, his fingertips grazing her skin. Minyoung gripped onto his white shirt and found the hem before peeling it off of his body. He carefully took her sweater off, revealing her curvy figure. “You’re so beautiful.” His words made her blush madly. Her arms began to cover her body, “I’m not. Don’t you see the scars?” Mino’s eyes scanned the scars that were scattered over her body. “I see them. But they make you seem lovelier. Knowing you survived these makes me fall harder for you.” Mino looked into her eyes and she became hypnotized.

As the sun fell and the moon rose, they took their time making love. His lips grazed over her scars. He whispered that he loved her. He made her feel like there was no need to feel alone. He showed her how precious she was.

Kang Seungyoon – New York – Day 37

The plate shattered into unmendable pieces as it hit the wooden floor. Her phone fell from her between her shoulder and cheek. Her mind grew blank and she grew numb all over. Seungyoon rushed to her side when he heard objects fall. He caught her as she crumbled to the ground. He stared at the phone when he heard a muffled voice that belonged to a man. She clumsily grabbed her phone and hung up. She mumbled something but it was unclear. Seungyoon asked her if she was okay but she ignored him. She mindlessly shuffled to her room, mumbling as if she had gone mad. Seungyoon silently watched her shut the door behind her and before he could take a step toward her, he heard her scream out in rage as she threw things around her room.

He barged in and saw her standing in the center, clutching her hair and crying. As she tried to reach for her desk lamp, he held her back, clutching onto her waist and demanded her to stop. Jennie held onto his arms and sobbed hysterically. When she crumbled again, he fell with her. He rocked her back and forth, “It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay.” Jennie shook her head wildly, “No, it’s not. He’s coming for me. He’s going to hurt me again.” Seungyoon knew nothing of the man she was referring to but he knew it wasn’t the time to ask. He quietly rocked her, smoothing her hair out and whispering tender words to calm her. Jennie slowly came back to her senses and looked up at Seungyoon with drying tears in her eyes. She looked so broken and desperate for the first time. He wanted to do everything he could to protect her from the stranger. Her child-like expression broke him a little.

“Seungyoon, don’t leave me. Don’t let him hurt me. Don’t let him drag me back to Hell. You have to promise me you won’t let him touch me.” The way she begged him made him boil in anger. Exactly what had the man done to her? What was he now aware of? But nonetheless, he promised her. “I’ll be right here, right with you. He won’t be able to come near you. I’ll protect you. I promise, Jennie. I promise.” He pulled her head toward his chest as he rocked her back and forth, kissing the top of her head.

As she let the last of her tears fall, he looked up at her bookshelf. He saw pictures of men standing with Jennie but there was on photo that didn’t seem right. His stomach churned with suspicion and disgust. Jennie stood there, next to her friends, an awkward and forced smile plastered on her face. A young man stood behind her with a smile that seemed too happy. He seemed different than the other people in the group picture.

Nam Taehyun – New York – Day 37

Aena anxiously sat in the waiting room. Her eyes darted here and there in concern and fear. She bit her lower lip and blew air into her cheeks. Her leg shook and she couldn’t tell what time it was. She just wanted Taehyun to be fine. They were supposed to have had enjoyed a nice breakfast and they should have been folding laundry, not sitting in the hospital. She didn’t understand anything. His hand had been fine after the first incident but why did it hurt so much all of a sudden? She hoped that Taehyun would still be able to draw but the chances were unlikely.

When the doctor stepped out and Taehyun followed behind, her heart stopped. He looked disappointed, crestfallen, like he wanted to die. Aena held her breath, she didn’t want to believe her assumptions. Her silence melded with his as they drove back to his home. His left hand gripped the steering wheel tightly and his gaze on the road ahead of him was hard. Aena slumped in her seat and lifelessly stared out of the window. Things seemed calm until he closed the behind him. It all began as soon as the door clicked in the frame.

He became blinded with rage. The coat hanger by the door was the first to fall. Picture frames fell and shattered. The coffee table was flipped onto its side and papers were thrown into the air only to float back down calmly. Aena watched him with tears in his eyes. She didn’t want to stop him. She was well aware of how much it hurt to give up on a dream without a say. When Taehyun finally fell to his knees, when he finally broke into tears, she approached him quietly. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders comfortingly. He leaned into her embrace and sobbed. He didn’t want to stop drawing. He didn’t want to give up his artistic ideas because of his hand.

“Taehyun, you’ll find a way. I’ll help you. Just don’t do this to yourself. Don’t hurt yourself.” He looked up at her and saw her tear-filled eyes. He knew he wasn’t alone but he felt as though he still was. He knew she was kneeling next to him, holding him but it felt like she wasn’t there at all. He became angry at himself. Art was his way of earning a living. How was he supposed to support the two of them? How was he supposed to look at Aena without shame washing over him? He felt embarrassed. He felt sorrowful. He felt dead.