Kim Jinwoo – New York – Day 78

“I’m sorry but you can’t go in there! Sir! Please calm down!” It took multiple nurses and doctors to hold him back. As tears streamed down his face, he screamed for her. Her name had never sounded so precious before. He reached his hand out for her. He needed her so much more than she needed him. He tried so hard to push away the medical staff away. This wasn’t how the day was supposed to go. He was supposed to bring her a few books and read them to her. He was supposed to sit on the other side of the plastic house that was enclosed around her. He was supposed to tell her more about his past memories. She wasn’t supposed to be dying so soon. She wasn’t supposed to be vomiting blood. She was supposed to be in his arms, in her bed, falling asleep after studying.

Jinwoo begged her to stay alive. He made sure she could hear him from the other side of the door.  He fought and fought but he became limp as he heard the one thing he dreaded most. The heart monitor made one sound, one long continuous sound. His heart dropped and it shattered as it hit the cold, hard ground. He fell to his knees and held his breath. Tears rolled down his cheeks and down onto the shattered remains of his heart. The medical staff’s arms limply fell down to their sides as they felt sympathetic for the poor young man.

The heart monitor stopped and he could hear the doctors and nurses cleaning everything up. He could hear them announce her time of death. And he heard them leaving the room, exhausted from trying to bring her back to life. Her doctor, the man that Jinwoo relied on to keep his Sangyoon in this world, knelt down beside him and placed his hand on Jinwoo’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry, Jinwoo-shi. We tried everything we could. I’m very sorry for your loss.” Without saying anything else, he stood up and walked away. Everyone left him. They left him to grieve in silence in the empty hallway.

He raised his head and stared at the people who were rolling Sangyoon away. And then it finally hit him, if they took her away, he would never be able to see her again. He would never be able to tell her anything again. Not even a last, “I love you”. Jinwoo stumbled as he tried to stand up. He raced after her covered body. He yelled for them to stop. He begged. But no one would listen. As she was pushed through the door, as the door began to close and she began to disappear slowly, his words sounded shaky, “Goodbye, Sangyoon. I love you.”

Lee Seunghoon – New York – Day 78

He was confused, befuddled. He thought back to what he had done recently. Maybe it was a misunderstanding he didn’t know about. He glanced over at Katie as she silently listened to music. Her eyes were closed and she looked as though she were angry, possibly at him. Seunghoon rubbed the back of his neck and thought hard. What exactly had he done to upset her? Had he said something wrong? Maybe he had done something that he wasn’t supposed to. But no matter how much he thought about it, he hadn’t done much.

As he thought about the past few weeks, he realized that they had hardly done anything. They barely talked and they barely saw each other’s faces. Things weren’t awkward but they were distant. He wondered how things had come to this. He realized how Katie rarely smiled around him. She was the one who always declined his offer to meet up. She pushed him away ever so slowly. It seemed as though she were pretending she was in love with him. But he could sense that maybe she was somehow bored of him now.

“Katie.” Seunghoon gently touched her arm to catch her attention. He could tell by the way she acted that she didn’t want to be disturbed. She acted as though he were being troublesome. “What is it?” She took her headphones off and looked up at him with tired eyes. Seunghoon hesitated for a moment. He felt hurt that she seemed tired of him. “Are you okay? You seem a little distant lately.” Katie looked away, down at her lap, and then back at him, “If you can tell that I’m not okay, why are you asking?” Seunghoon’s eyes widened in surprise. That hadn’t been like anything he was expecting. “I’m tired of every, Seunghoon. Things have changed since the fire. I’m working my off to earn enough money for a new place. And frankly, I’m a little tired of pretending that I’m okay. Can I go back to listening to my song?” Seunghoon didn’t say anything, he just silently nodded. Even if he did want to respond verbally, he wouldn’t know what to say.

He watched her turn her head away and drift away to a world where he wasn’t invited. He watched her drift away from him, slowly and painfully. She was still within his reach but it was as though his arm had a heavy weight tied to it, preventing him from grabbing onto her and pulling her back to him. He watched his heart drift away with her, leaving a trail of blood in the still waters. And he quietly said his last goodbye.

Song Mino – New York – Day 78

Mino stared at the blinking cursor. He was close to finishing his story. But he had no clue on how to end it. He was torn between a happy ending and an ending that would leave the main character with no happily ever after. Two scenarios played out in his mind and then he chose the latter. It would feel more realistic. It would bring tears to his reader’s eyes. It would tug at their hearts. It would bring back memories of their past. His readers would feel the same way Minyoung would feel. He typed on word that would be the beginning to an ending but he stopped. He stared at the word and he just couldn’t bring himself to bring the next word to his fingertips. He shut his laptop and put it away.

“Done already?” Mino looked up and saw Minyoung standing in the doorway with his shirt on. He smiled softly at the image, “Not yet but I’m done for the day.” Minyoung walked over with a cup of tea and handed it to him carefully. “It’s hot so make sure to blow on it before sipping on it.” Mino thanked her as he held the warm cup in his hands, the calming aroma tickling his nose eagerly. Minyoung sat next to him and rested her head on his broad shoulder with a content sigh, “Today can’t get any better.” Mino set his cup of tea down before staring down at her curiously. She looked up to meet eyes with him, “It’s just so quiet and calm today. You’re here and I just feel happy. I haven’t felt like this in a while.” Mino kissed the top of her head gently. He felt his heart drop to his churning stomach. He was the reason for her happiness and he would be taking it away sooner or later.

“Minyoung, I want you to promise me that you’ll find something else that makes you happy. I want you to grab onto it and keep it with you until the day you die.” Mino stared sadly at the wall ahead of him as Minyoung’s arms wrapped around his waist. “Not me. Find something else. I may not be able to see you for a while and I want to make sure that you’ll be okay. I want to know that you’ll be smiling even if I’m not with you. Can you do that?” Minyoung pulled herself away from him and looked at him inquisitively. “Where are you going?” Without uttering a word, Mino grabbed his things and walked out of her room. Minyoung chased after him and hugged him tightly from the back, “Mino, where are you going? When will you come back?” He stared down at the floor before turning around. Oh so tenderly, he cupped her face and stared deep into her sad eyes, “I have to go finish my book. And then, I have to go back. I promise that I’ll come back to New York. Back to you.” And with that, his lips brushed against her for one last time.

Kang Seungyoon – New York – Day 78

For weeks, Seungyoon stayed with Jennie. He slept in her bed. He lulled her back to sleep when she woke up screaming from the same nightmare. He checked to make sure that her doors were locked securely. He held her closely when she broke down randomly throughout the day. He listened to her talk about the stranger that hurt her in so many ways. And this night was just like any other.

Jennie gripped onto Seungyoon’s shirt as she stared into space. She listened to his soft voice as he sang her another song. Her eyes travelled to the window. The moon was full but the clouds shrouded its beauty. “Seungyoon, do you think he’s going to come and get me?” He stopped her head and kept quiet. Jennie got ready to ask him again but he interrupted her, “No, he couldn’t even try. I’m here. I’m right here so he won’t even be able to touch you.” Jennie smiled softly but her grip on his shirt tightened. Seungyoon began to sing again before she began to speak.

“He me,” Seungyoon stopped everything he was doing, “I was 10 the first time it happened. He told me that my mom was looking for me. I followed him but no one was home. He kept coming back until my parents found out. I was fifteen when he was finally arrested. The police officers told me her would never get out. They said that he would never be able to touch me again. But they lied. I’m not safe no matter who’s with me. I’ll never be safe from my uncle.” Seungyoon didn’t know what to feel first. Anger? Sorrow? He hadn’t known anything until that moment. He had only assumed things, he never expected his assumptions to be true. He didn’t know that it had gone on for so long. He hadn’t known that it was her own uncle, her family, who hurt her.

“I’m so scared, Seungyoon.” He felt her tears wetting his shirt and all he could do was hug her more firmly. He whispered words of encouragement. He told her that she was strong, that she would be okay. But the truth was, he wasn’t sure. He doubted that he could protect her. “Seungyoon, I love you.” He looked down at her before whispering an “I love you” back to her.

Nam Taehyun – New York – Day 78

“Taehyun, dinner’s ready.” Aena knocked on his bedroom door softly before poking her head in. She quietly sighed when she saw him lying in bed, his eyes open and lifeless. She carefully approached him and knelt down beside him, “You have to eat something. You’ll need all the energy you can get for tomorrow’s physical therapy session.” Taehyun didn’t respond, he just lied still and stared at his sketchbook that collected dust on his bookshelf. A woeful sigh escaped his lips. Aena continued to try to coax him out of bed but she failed.

She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up. Taehyun resisted but Aena succeeded. She tried to drag him out of the room but Taehyun grew frustrated. He pulled his arm away from her, “I don’t want to eat! Just leave me alone!” Aena stared at him, dumbfounded. She was too shocked to react. Slowly, she approached again, but the moment her hand touched his body, she was on the floor, a bruise forming on her elbow and knee. Taehyun froze when he heard the thump. He rushed to her side but she stumbled backwards, trying to get away from him.

He could see how betrayed she felt. Her eyes showed that he had hurt her. “Aena.” He took one step forward, “Get away from me.” Taehyun stopped in his tracks and watched her stagger out of his room. He chased after and grabbed her arm. “Aena, I’m sorry. It was an accident.” She stopped grabbing her things and slowly turned around. “I never expected you to do that to me.” Taehyun embraced her warmly, “I didn’t meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.” Taehyun held her close but her arms stayed by her side.

Aena silently ate dinner with Taehyun before going to bed. She reminded him of his physical therapy session but as she walked over the bathroom, he caught her arm, “Aena, I’m really sorry. I’m just really frustrated that I can’t do what I love the most. I just don’t know how to deal with it.” Aena nodded and told him that she understood her actions but her actions told him differently. Taehyun grew frustrated once more and somehow, someway, Aena was sliding down the wall, “I told you I was sorry! What more do I have to do?!” Taehyun’s breathing grew calmer and he had realized what he had done. He saw Aena on the floor, crying and falling apart. He stared at his hands and wondered what he had turned into.