I come to this cafe whenever I can manage it. The coffee is great but not enough to travel the distance it takes me to get here. Honestly, this cafe has nothing really special about it. Nothing but one particular barista. She may be one of the only people in this country who has no idea I am G Dragon of BIGBANG. She sits and talks with me and listens to what is bothering me better than any shrink money could buy. I need her today.

Today the world is treating me like a criminal. I smoked a joint. Big freaking deal. I don't advocate drugs to children. I am a hardworking, ambitious and talented person. I am good to my fans and stay out of trouble mostly. Life is stressful for me. Why can't I choose to relieve my stress with a little green every once in a while? I barely smoke enough of the stuff for it to register in my system on a drug test for goodness sake!

"Well hello stranger, would you like your usual?" my angel is here. Don’t ever call in sick. Just be here to talk to me whenever I need you. "Yes I would like the biggest white chocolate mocha you have with a side of you" I tell her just like I always do. There is joy in repetition. "You are in luck I am off the clock in 5 minutes. You are my last order of the day." she says with a smile.

I like to watch her work. She has a fluid grace about her. She is not willowy or thin like a ballerina but the way she moves is like a dance. She smiles a lot but not a big smile. It is like she has a secret that is trying to escape and she has to turn her lips up ever so slightly to keep it in. It makes me wonder what she is thinking. Like the painting of Mona Lisa does for people who visit her in the Louver.

She is a beautiful woman but not in a traditional way. I have no idea what her nationality is. Her skin is the most interesting shade of golden brown. You would almost expect her to glitter when the sun rays touch her but this is not some teenage vampire movie. Her hair changes almost as often as mine does so I don’t know what its natural color and texture is. Right now it is straight and colored black on the top and the bottom layer is an electric purple. She has it pulled into a bun on top of her perfectly curved head.

Her face is heart shaped and she has full lips that look like cupids bow. Her eyes are almond shaped like many Asian women which leads me to believe somewhere in there she is Asian but their color is the most startling shade of emerald green. I know no Asian women with naturally green eyes. Her nose is small and almost perky looking. It’s like it is turning up to get a better look at you. If her personality wasn't so strong you would say she is cute. She is too sassy to be cute.

She is really tiny too. I am not especially tall and she only reaches my chest. My mom is taller that her! Her figure reminds me of those old pictures of Marilyn Monroe. She has a much larger bust than Marilyn and her is rounder too. I shouldn't be thinking about her . I am here to have coffee and pour my heart out. Why are my hormones making an appearance?

Her green eyes settle on me with a questioning look. I think I just got caught staring. How could she tell with my sunglasses on? "Order up dear" she says handing me my coffee and taking a seat next to me. It always starts this way. She sits next to me and waits for me to begin talking. By the end of it I am lying in her lap like a child while she tells me the truth regardless of the pain it may or may not cause. It is astringent and refreshing at the same time. I should be embarrassed but her honesty is like a balm for my aching soul.

"Can I ask you a question before I wail on your shoulder Annalysa?" I joke with her. She looks surprised at the break in routine but nods her head for me to ask. "What are you?" She looks so amused. Her emerald eyes are twinkling and those full lips of hers are in a full smile showing perfectly straight and white teeth. "I am the product of a Puerto Rican and Korean mother and a Lebanese and African American father. Both my parents are in the United States air force stationed in Okinawa japan. Their last duty station was here and I decided I liked Korea enough to stay."

"Wow that is an amazing combination. You are a very interesting kind of beautiful. I know you speak English and Korean. Do you speak any other languages? “I ask her. “I speak Spanish also" she just smiles at me and continues to sip her coffee waiting for me to begin spilling my guts. Well here goes nothing. I didn’t even get mouth open when she stops me." I know who you are, I always have. I know why you are here." Now I am really confused. She has known who I was all this time and never treated me any differently. She has to be an angel.

"I can see that you are confused. You shouldn't be. You are probably wondering why I never treat you like an idol. You are probably wondering why I never ask you for anything or try to keep in touch with you. Am I right?" she says to me. "Yes I am wondering all those things" I admit to her. She is officially the most interesting person in the world to me at this very moment.

"You get treated this way often and being put on that pedestal is vexing at best for you. You are happy when you can go somewhere and not be recognized for that very reason. It bothers you that you can never be sure the people you meet are around you because of what you are or who you are. I have listened to you. I see you struggle with your privacy and now how you can't even use a harmless recreational herb that most teenagers have at least tried without people telling you that suicide is a good option for you." she begins.

"I wanted to give you the anonymity and peace you seem to need so badly. you poured your heart out to a complete stranger not knowing the only reason she sat down next to you was to ask you to sign her uniform shirt." she laughs. I must look as shocked as I feel. She is my FAN! "When you began talking I realized that the last thing you needed was a fan hovering over you so I decided to be what you did need, someone to listen. I didn't know you would come back but 7 times now you have graced my doorstep. 7 times you have borne your soul to me so I figured I may might as well keep my little fan girl heart to myself."

"This time I don’t think you need a listening ear. This time you need a kick in the pants and a reminder of who you are and how many people love you. VIP's will not abandon you because you took relief from your hectic life with a joint at an industry party. They want to label you a bad ? Give them the bad they ask for." she finishes and as per usual she gets up and puts her cup away.