note: Slight!angst, wordvomit, (heheh) taking time a few days after Patbingsu date

[Word count: 843]

Seoul’s street lights lightened Jieun’s way as she and her friends walked down the road to their homes. They were still in the middle of town, having finished a group task just an hour ago back at school and decided to have a meal before they went back. As she listened to her friends chattering she passed the pasta restaurant Taemin took her to and she smiled, remembering how it was where everything started between them. Her steps slowed down and she gazed in through the wide glass window, staring at couples, families having dinner and—her smile falters—the very guy he thought of, was eating there with his best friend. They didn’t sit across, but next to each other.

It wasn’t the fact that they were alone that left Jieun confused, but the way they interacted. Jieun probably a simple girl but she had strong intuition and she could tell people in love when she saw one. Given that the boys weren’t exchanging overly touchy gestures, but Jieun saw the way Jongin gazes lovingly at Taemin, and how taemin fiddled with Jongin’s finger under the table as he talked, probably telling the younger about his day. It wasn’t on nerve, she realized; it was instinctive of him.

They weren’t sitting so close to the see-through glass but the restaurant was bright and Jieun had no problem looking. Taemin spoke rather animatedly, with one hand motioning along to his story and his eyes shone so brightly. Jongin threw in playful banters sometimes and Taemin would pinch Jongin’s nose playfully. Said boy laughed in glee and Taemin merely held the back of Jongin’s neck, bringing them closer and whispered some stupid thing so Jongin could laugh again.

What hurt her most though, is how Jongin’s stare was reflected perfectly the same by the elder. She was suddenly struck with a memory from a few days ago, how Taemin told her she reminded him of Jongin; how Jongin looked at him the same way at him times. She had thought of Taemin at that time; of them, of what they could be and how they would be. How happy she would be with the male. It was when she understood more than a crush had bloom within her for Taemin and she had been so blissful until Taemin told him about Jongin. She had tried to push it to the back of her mind, thinking of it as a mistake made by Taemin; he probably had read things wrong but looking at the so called best friends right now, she supposed he hadn’t.

It was playful between them but she caught the subtle brush of Taemin’s knuckle on Jongin’s lips as the younger boy talks, the way Jongin leaned for comfort and was embraced by the elder. It looked so natural that none of the boys or people around them was disturbed by it. She held on to her bag tight, feeling the fresh feeling of jealousy and betrayal filled her chest and tried to fight it.

She had been so sure of how Taemin felt of him, after all Taemin wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings she had learned. Even Suji told her that Taemin stared at him a lot, often with meaningful ones that caused many girls to feel jealous. Jieun had been reluctant to believe at first but later, after lunches and caring words from the boy’s part, she soon forgot why she ever doubted him in the first place. Now she remembered though.

She was left far behind and Suji called her a couple times but Jieun noticed none of it. Whatever they had between them, its mutual and she was a hypocrite to think its just friendship. closed as she thought of the possibilities, or impossibilities of her to sneak her way in between the two highly connected souls.

For the first time in her life, Lee Jieun doubts her self.

 “Whoa, is that common of them to look like newlywed?” Suji was suddenly on her side, her palm on the glass and her eyes wide, looking a lot like toddlers at the zoo. At the disturbed expressions the closest table occupants send them and a waiter walking their way Jieun bowed embarrassedly and dragged her best friend away. People were looking at them both strangely and God, she must’ve been looked creepy, staring from the window like that. She stomped her steps with Suji behind her who’d been asking various things from don’t you think they looked like those couples in Kdramas to Do you think we could have a double date sometimes in the future? Us four?

Jieun sighed when they reached the rest of her group, “I thought I saw someone I know, I was wrong,” she smiled sheepishly. The others ‘ooh’ed and continued walking except Suji, who although hadn’t say anything, was narrowing her eyes at her. Jieun mouthed a ‘later’ and Suji finally looked away after a few seconds.

Jieun didn’t know what to believe anymore.

Was it alright for her to hope?