“Lu Han, you made it.”

“Hey, Jongdae. Of course I did.”

Lu Han greets his friend with a familiar, old hand shake and a sideways hug. He eyes the apartment. It's small but classy, and clean. Jongdae probably spent hours cleaning up the place to make it fit for people, or probably his girlfriend had. That made more sense.

“This place looks nice,” Lu Han says. “Good crowd. Work friends?”

“Some. Some new, some old. I'm kind of enjoying watching the two crowds mix, or rather not mix. All these business suits really don't know how to deal with us musical kids.”

Lu Han laughs. “Way to honor your promotion. Telling all your co-workers you used to be a bum like the rest of us.”

“Hey, whoever said I was a bum? I was an acclaimed musical star in my heyday!”

“You mean you had one lead role in university, and then you called it quits and got a normal degree?” 

Jongdae smiles, full of success. “Isn't that the same thing? Hey, at least I'm making more money than the rest of you guys.” 

Lu Han thumps him on the back, good-naturedly. “True. True. Oh well, congrats for the promotion. Now tell me where the open bar is, since you're so rich and all.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Over in the corner. Tao's manning it today. Fancies himself a bartender or something. Give him a few cocktail mixers and he acts like this is some fancy club, but he's happy.”

Lu Han looks around the room some more. Apart from Tao he spots a few others, guys he hasn't seen in a few years. Junmyeon still looks the same, he muses; a little uncomfortable in this setting as he sits on the edge of a sofa with his shoulders tensed up, a drink in his hands still three-quarters full. He's managed to surround himself with people who were obviously from Jongdae's work place, and at least two girls seem to be fawning over him, one a little more drunk than the others.

“Aren't you going to save him?” Lu Han asks Jongdae. 

Jongdae looks up, confused. “Hmm? Who?” Following Lu Han's gaze, he relaxes. “Oh. Junmyeon? Nahh, he's fine. Those girls aren't too scary.”  Jongdae peers around the room though, and Lu Han recognizes this nervous twitch. 

“Something wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You look nervous.”

“I do?” Jongdae falters. 

“Yeah...”

Jongdae clears his throat. “Well, then I should probably warn you, but... uhm... he's here.”

Lu Han schools his expression, knowing from experience that nothing shows through. 'He' could only mean one person, if Jongdae looks this nervous about it. It’s very nearly comical, he thinks. Because really, he shouldn't be too concerned.

“He,” Lu Han repeats, “must be Minseok, you mean?”

Jongdae swallows uncomfortably. “Yeah. Sorry about that...”

Lu Han shrugs. “Why are you sorry? I'm cool with it. You know we didn't really part on bad terms.”

“I know, but... I know it's got to be a little awkward for you guys. I should have told you ahead of time but I chickened out. I warned him though... earlier. Said you would probably drop by.”

It's Lu Han's turn to swallow, heavily. “And?”

“He just said, 'That's cool'. Seriously what is up with you guys? It kind of creeps me out how similar you are, even now.”

“Ahh, but we were always good like that,” Lu Han says, ignoring the weird stare Jongdae gives him. “Anyways, thanks for the heads up. I'll let you make your rounds now.”

He pats Jongdae on the back, hoping to soothe man, even though it's Lu Han who probably needs it more. Minseok is here. That thought goes round and around in his head. Probably he should go pick up a drink before he has time to chicken out and leave too early. Or maybe he just wants a drink to steel himself before finding Minseok.

He doesn't not want to meet the guy. In fact he wants to see him. He wants to see him a whole lot. Has he changed? It will have been five years now, although he's never been quite out of the loop. He knows through Jongdae that Minseok finished school and got a Masters degree, that he found a job a few years later as a choir assistant in a local middle school. Lu Han stopped inquiring about him after that, content that Minseok was on track with what he always wanted. Maybe by now he had the top job. Maybe by now it won't hurt that Minseok is doing what he loves, without him. 

Lu Han shakes the thought off. Five years is a long time, longer than the time they were together. And a lot of things have happened in that time. Minseok moved on, Lu Han moved on, the world moved on. What was once thought to be inseparable had parted. 

The perfect couple, their friends called them. Lu Han laughs when he thinks about it now. Their friends had always assumed everything came easy for them. In many ways, it was kind of true. It had been so easy to be together.

Why was it also easy to be apart?

He has a drink in his hands now. He barely remembers asking Tao for something, barely remembers greeting the man and exchanging a few pleasantries. In fact all he remembers now is the way they used to be, back in the day. Minseok and Lu Han together, hanging in out of the way places, either a back couch or the end of a bar counter, the top of the stands, silently together while they watched their friends mess around. The others always seemed like kids to them. Always fighting and squabbling, falling in and out of love on a whim.

How flexible they all were. How inseparable were them two. 'You guys are so perfect and cute it makes me want to vomit.' 

Was it Jongdae who had said that once? Or Kyungsoo? 

'You know one day we're all gonna be old and still searching for our soul mates and there you two will be lording it over us. Nice house, nice jobs, couple of adopted kids and a dog...' That one had definitely been Baekhyun. 

When they broke up, Baekhyun was the first to come and apologize. 'I know you're in a bad place, Lu,' he'd said. 'What do you need? What can I do for you now?' 

What had Lu Han needed then? Sleep, alcohol, a walk in the park. A cat, comfort or sympathy? No, he didn't really need the sympathy. He'd make it fine without all of that; save it for someone whose life really was in the gutter, someone young dying of cancer, or for some poor widowed spouse, alone for the first time in decades; no need to waste it on a twenty-one year old man, healthy and ripe, whose life was still before him. Plenty of fish in the sea, and all that.

There was one thing he'd needed though. 'I need a friend, Baekhyun. I've lost my best friend.'

But not even Baekhyun could easily fill that request. The hole was too deep.

Someone, a girl, bumps into Lu Han. She's pretty, and not wasted, appreciative enough of Lu Han's obvious charms and currently solo status. Lu Han can easily save himself the trouble and share another drink with her. He won't take her home, but at least the conversation can't be too bad. Long, blond hair that looks nothing like Minseok’s. Small, pretty eyes and an intelligent mouth. Easily the kind of girl who can interest him for a matter of half an hour. In fact it all sounds like a grand idea and he's just about to ask her name and answer with his own when someone takes the words right out of his mouth.

“Lu Han.”

Not more than a few feet away, seated casually on a sofa, one leg crossing the other and an elbow perched neatly on the armrest, Minseok smiles up at him. 

“Hey,” Lu Han says back.

He smiles apologetically at the girl and steps around her, suddenly indifferent to the female's charms and determined to pretend like he's just spotted an old acquaintance. He has, actually.

“I heard you might be here,” Minseok says, as Lu Han steps closer. “Wanna sit?”

Lu Han helps himself to the spot beside his ex-boyfriend, a comfortable half-cushion between them. Minseok already looks cozy, seated with his body half turned towards him. He hadn't needed to move. In fact, he’s probably been watching Lu Han slowly meander across the room this whole time, waiting. 

“It's good to see you. You look good.” Lu Han starts out with the clichés. It's all he has, but more than that, it's because it’s true.

Minseok looks fantastic. His hair isn't as long as it was when they went out. It's shorter now, delicately brown, and styled artfully in a downward style that somehow makes him look young and mature all in one go. The gray vest fits him well too. It hugs snuggly to his body, taut enough for Lu Han to notice some muscles he hasn't seen before. He's pierced his ears as well. Minseok always said he would, but somewhere in the last five years he'd actually gone and done it.

Lu Han smiles with what he hopes isn't a creepers' face. Apparently he succeeds because Minseok doesn't look at all uncomfortable.

“Thanks. You too, by the way.”

“By the way, what?” Lu Han squirms, wondering just what it is that gives Minseok so much confidence. 

“You look good too.” 

Lu Han raises his eyebrows. Minseok was always giving easy compliments, another plus to how their relationship had worked. They talked easily, shared affection so easily, Minseok drawing out all of Lu Han’s natural shyness until they fit and communicated well.  It was all in the little things. In the ways they touched, and spoke, in the ways they quietly spent time together. 

Had anyone else ever noticed the problem areas though? Ever really noticed them? They barely existed, it was true. Lu Han almost believed everyone’s assumptions: that they were meant for each other, him and Minseok, destined for one another, and bound by something unbreakable.

 They didn't realize it was that very casual nature that caused them to drift apart. Nobody noticed the cracks. 'Why won't you get angry with me? Why don't you say something?!' Lu Han hadn't even been able to yell the words tearing at his heart, unable to believe that Minseok was so ice cold and unshakeable. Throw a lamp, get passionate, he'd pleaded internally. Not that he could do it either. 'But, why?' Minseok had asked. 'Aren't you upset right now too? Let's just stop fighting and go to sleep, huh?' Minseok sounded sleepy. So calm, and even with Lu Han's rage bubbling up inside, even he couldn't get it to boil over. What fighting? he wondered. We never fight. We just simmer and cool, simmer and cool. 

“I heard you got a nice spot over at the theater,” Minseok says.

Lu Han chuckles. “Ahh, yeah. You heard about that?” Minseok nods. “Yup, head sound coordinator. Always a great view in the sound booth. Above the audience.” Could Minseok hear the sarcasm? He probably could. He always picked up on it. He just never commented on it.

It seems some things never change.

“That's cool. Yeah, Jongdae mentions things every so often. How is... what's his name... Lay?”

Lu Han balks. He should have known that Jongdae's communication circles worked two ways. Lu Han knew that Minseok was doing well in work and life, and apparently didn't date much. But Minseok knew about Lay. 

How much did he know though? That they'd started dating a year after Minseok left? That Lay was a renowned stage actor, and sometimes he brought his fiery temper and personality home? That they had great and dramatic fights and even more dramatic make up sessions and were totally in love? Or at least Lu Han thought they were.

Lu Han cringes, remembering his raw and honest, open rants to Jongdae over the years. He prays Jongdae never related any of those facts. Please, God, not to Minseok.

“Lay. Yes. He's... good.”

“I read some articles about him the other day. Seems the local critics are pretty enamored of him.”

Lu Han was enamored of him too. Just not as much as he had been of Minseok.

“Yeah, people love him...”

Minseok murmurs, lips pressed together and he nods his head, one leg still crossed over the other and he reclines coolly on the armrest. He's always cool, always even-tempered, and it drives Lu Han crazy. Why won't he look even a tiny bit jealous, or a tiny bit regretful? Throw him a bone at least and hint that he misses them, the way they were? 

Lu Han grits his teeth. He swallows, and when nothing but saliva goes down he reaches down for the glass he'd set aside and he chugs it. But Minseok's eyes are on his, and that unnerves Lu Han so much that he chokes and sputters. Minseok sits up and grabs the glass out of his hand, setting it down on the table with a hard knock and he beats a hand heavily over Lu Han's back. 

He gasps for air. His eyes water and his throat constricts and his stomach muscles seize and tense up, but through it, or maybe this is the cause of it, something in his soul sings loudly to see Minseok in action. Minseok moving and looking concerned, touching his back, and their knees barely graze against each other, and Lu Han wishes it was more. He wishes it was so much more.

After a moment, Minseok realizes where he is and he scoots backwards, legs evenly on the ground and his hands in his lap. 

Lu Han smiles, shyly. “Thanks.”

But the other goes on like nothing happened. Like they hadn’t shared a look. A moment. Perhaps it was just in Lu Han’s head, memories and feelings, echoes of another time.

“You know I have a cousin, theater major in high school, who's in love with Lay.” Panic flashes through Minseok's eyes. “I mean! She- you know, well she wants to be an actress so she's got her favorites and...”

Lu Han laughs. “I know what you mean. It's okay.”

Are they really talking about Lay now? Lu Han almost can't believe it. Except this is Minseok, so it shouldn't be any surprise that his ex-boyfriend would ask so naturally about the actor Lu Han's name has long been tied to. He even figures he knows where this is going. 

“I was wondering if...” Minseok probes.

“If I could set up a meeting for her? Sure. I can give him a call.”

Minseok smiles. “Oh, thanks. She'll be excited. I think she'd really do well hearing some advice from someone in the industry.” Lu Han pulls out his phone, and Minseok's eyes widen. “Wait, you're calling him now? You don't have to now, you know. I just meant, you could ask him sometime, when... you next see him.”

Lu Han smirks. “Ah, but I'm not sure of his schedule right now. There are no theater rehearsals for a few weeks so he may or may not be around.” Lu Han pauses the conversation to focus on his texting. After a few seconds where he dares himself not to check Minseok's expression, he sends the message, and then he casually checks a few other messages too. “There. I'll probably know a time sometime this week. Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you, and you can talk to your cousin?”

Minseok swallows, his eyes hard, and he really looks like he's trying to remain still. “You still... I haven't changed my number. Do you still need it?”

Lu Han sighs, and rolls his phone around in his hand. “No. I still have it.” Why wouldn’t he still have it? That last tiny shred of Minseok in his life, embarrassing as it now is.

“Oh, alright then,” says Minseok, exasperatingly cool.

“Yeah.” Lu Han fumes inside, fighting the simmering boil. Part embarrassment, part agony.

Won't Minseok ask him? Won't he inquire about Lay? Doesn't he want to know why it may take a few days to figure out the stage actor's schedule? No, probably not. Because this is Minseok, and he doesn't do those things. He never asks. He just lets things be.

What was it Baekhyun once told him? 'You're an idiot, Lu.' Yeah, that sounds about right. 'You want him to fight for you, but you don't fight for him either. You just let things go. You both do. It's why you didn't work out, even though we all believed you were perfect for each other. You were too perfect. Too perfect that you didn't want to mess with things, because that was too scary, but look what happened. It all got messed up anyway.'

“You know we're not together anymore?”

“Huh?” Minseok snaps out of his daze.

“Lay and I. We haven't dated in a few years. We're just colleagues now.”

“You're not...?”

“No.”