Chapter 1

It was a perfect day for a stroll. Not sunny, for Kim Jaejoong hated the sun. He hated how it would shine from behind the clouds, taunting him, it seemed. Mocking him with everything he had lost. Forever. Today, the gray clouds were so thick that the sunshine couldn’t penetrate through them. To the rest of the world, it was a gloomy, depressing day but to him, it symbolized his life. Dark & unfeeling.

Up ahead, a young woman stopped. The air filled with sounds of her carefree laughter. It was clearly audible over the roar of the raging river after the storm. She whirled around to face him, her shoulder-length, natural brown hair flying out behind, her black trapunto-stitched melody dress fanning out.

"Come on, Jaejoong Oppa." The girl called, holding out her hands to him. When he continued walking at such an agonizingly slow pace, the girl ran back to him, threading her arm through his. Tentatively, Jaejoong took her warm hand, half expecting something to happen. Nothing did, 'I should have known better.' Jaejoong thought, 'After all, it hasn't happened in the past, why should it happen now?’

"Oppa. Hurry up." The girl urged him, tugging him towards the slippery banks of the fast paced river, "Wow, its so pretty." The girl sighed in her innocent fascination of the swirling river.

Jaejoong looked at her silently, wrapped in his own world of thoughts, 'Why won't it happen? Why? I love her so that should be good enough.'

He tapped the girl lightly on the shoulder.

"What is it, Oppa?" She asked, turning around to face him.

"I love you." He said hesitatingly. Ever since that fateful day so long ago, those three words have never crossed his soft, round, pink plump lips again, 'Was that good enough?' Jaejoong paused. Apparently not, ‘I must be close though.’ He reached out & pulled the girl towards him, planting a soft kiss on her full heart-shaped pink lips, causing her brown almond-shaped eyes to widen. Kissing in public wasn’t very modest.

Still, nothing changed.

Jaejoong was about to pull back when suddenly, an image formed in his mind. The girl faded in his thoughts & was replaced by a man. A man, armed with a gun. A madman, "Mr. Choi!" Jaejoong hissed.

"Oppa." The girl laughed, pulling him out of his reverie.

Gasping, he pushed her away, still viewing her through his hallucination, "Mr. Choi! Don't come near me!" He cried.

The girl stumbled backwards & lost her footing, "Oppa!" She cried, reaching out for him.

"No." Jaejoong reached out too, but he was a fraction too late. He could only watch as the girl slid further & further away from him.

"Help me!" She cried desperately, "Save me!"

Jaejoong woke up with a start as the echoing voice died in his ear. His heart pounded like crazy as he sat up.

'I have had this dream again.' He thought to himself, but it wasn't just a dream, it was a memory. A memory that had been stored away for so long that Jaejoong couldn't even remember the girl's name. He could only remember that bitter feeling, knowing he had come so close, knowing that he had lost a chance of living a normal life again.

Jaejoong got up absentmindedly & rang for his butler. A good thing about this condition was that it gave him a lot of time to make money. Too much time. True, he had to move once in awhile but wherever he went, he had the best house with the best view.

"Alright." He lectured himself out loud, "Forget about it. You will always have another chance if you want." He sighed. One thing Jaejoong had learnt from that incident so long ago was that it wasn't so easy to fall in love. Love wasn't just those three words that everyone longs to hear. They meant nothing if you don't say them from the bottom of your heart. Love was more than just holding hands & kissing.

"But I don't know if I have the ability to try again."

"I heard your mother say once that you were partial to flowers." Kwon Yuri watched as her aunt bustled around the kitchen, "So." Her aunt continued, "I got you a job working in a floral shop." She smiled widely as she put down a bowl of kimchi ramen in front of Yuri.

"Oh. Thank you, auntie Eunbyul." Yuri said, flustered. She was in awe of this hyper, energized woman, 'I'm supposed to live with her from now on?' Yuri wondered uneasily, 'Oh, lord. I don't know if I have the energy to cope with this.'

"Yuri?! Yuri! Have you been listening to a word I said?!" Eunbyul asked in her booming voice.

"What?" Yuri asked, looking up rather guiltily.

"Dear girl. You should pay more attention. I said, everlasting boutique is the best floral shop in town. Be glad I managed to get you a job there."

"Oh, thanks." Yuri wondered why her aunt even bothered to get her this job, 'It's not like I'm going to be here for very long anyway.’

"Sulli will be home in eight months." Eunbyul had resumed talking, "Meanwhile, you can have her room while I get the spare bedroom fixed up."

Yuri smiled wanly, "Thanks so much, auntie." She drank her ramen, feeling it burn a pathway to her stomach, "I'm a little tired. I had like to rest for a bit. I will be in my...er, Sulli's room."

"Yes, yes. Go on child. Call me if you need help." Eunbyul said in a sing-song voice.

'Need help with what?!' Yuri thought.

Upstairs, Yuri wandered aimlessly in Sulli's room. It was a beautiful room. She sighed. It was filled with things she had never had. The room itself was painted in pink with soft, pink color curtains over the big, bay windows.

Yuri moved to the wall across from the bed where many pictures hung. She never even had a camera. In the center was a portrait drawing of a young woman with waist-length light brown hair & thick pouting pink lips, 'Sulli.' Yuri thought, 'She's so beautiful. I wished I had hair like that.' Although the two were cousins, they had never met.

'Maybe we could become friends.' Yuri smiled a little wistfully, 'She looks like she would understand.'

Her brown, almond-shaped eyes wandered to a family picture. There was her aunt Eunbyul & Sulli with her perfect figure. There was also a tall, bald man in the background, 'Sulli's dad.' Yuri guessed, though she heard he had died a few years ago. Yuri traced the picture gently with her long finger, letting it linger over Sulli's dad. She felt a pang of loneliness in her heart. Sulli was so lucky, she had a loving family, something Yuri had never experienced.

She sat down on the bed, 'Dad?' Yuri asked silently. She had never had a father. There was no father to watch her grow up, to listen to her woes & triumphs, to work with her in her garden. Her mother had gone to a party twenty-five years ago & had done things without thinking of the consequences but Yuri was now the one that had to live with them, 'Oh, mom.' Yuri closed her eyes in pain.

*Flashback*

"Yuri, come here." The fragile woman beckoned her from the hospital bed.

Hesitatingly, Yuri went over, "I'm here, mom." She took her mother's trembling hands, despite all those tubes surrounding her.

"Yuri, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to leave you like this. I never." Ms. Kwon breathed in laboriously, "Never knew & now...now you have to take the burden of it."

Yuri shook her head, tears b over & falling down her cheeks.

"You still have time, Yuri. Do whatever your heart tells you to do."

"Mom, please don't go? Don't leave me?" Yuri bit her pale pink plump lips to hold in her ragged sobs.

Ms. Kwon smiled drearily, "I can't, honey. You will be well off. Eunbyul's a good woman. You will." Yuri's mom gasped, trying to fill her dying lungs with air, "You will have all those things you have always wanted. I'm so sorry that I couldn't give them to you."

Yuri shook her head, not trusting herself to speak, "I...I never assumed it was your fault." She managed to whisper when she saw her mother was clearly waiting for her to say something.

Her mother nodded, a look of devout relief crossing her features, "I love you, honey. Take care of yourself." Ms. Kwon took her last agonizing breath & her eyes closed.

"No, mom." Yuri clutched her mother, crying freely at last. Not just for her mother but for herself as well.

*End of Flashback*