Beer Fairy

Summary: Kris believes in something called the beer fairy, but Tao doesn’t. However, one day after Kris takes six cans, Tao starts to believe in the beer fairy too.

A/N: I intended this as an AU crack fic. Please read and enjoy, and if you like upvote/comment. There will be 1 chapter of epilogue after this.

~

Tao looked Kris over with a hint of distaste, wrinkling his nose at his very drunk best friend and roommate.

“Tao, do you know that there’s something called the beeeeeeerrrrr fairrrrrryyyyyyyyy?” Kris’ voice slurred as he leaned onto Tao, breath stinking of alcohol and whatever he had swallowed in the course of the evening till now, slightly past midnight.

“Wu Yifan, exactly what did you tell the bartender? He called me to come pick you up and now he’s looking at me weirdly.” Ignoring Kris’ previous statement, Tao’s sharp gaze cut across Kris’ blearied, unfocused one.

“Nothing.” Kris’ grin scared Tao, because he had never seen Kris like this.

“How much did you drink, you bloody wanker?” Tao had his arms under Kris’ and supporting him when the pair stumbled out of the bar (read: Kris stumbling and Tao holding him upright).

“Not much. I put it on your tab. You know, Tao, the beer fairy makes you do things you normally don’t dare to.” Kris skimmed over the details as Tao threw Kris into the backseat of his car. , his car was going to smell like alcohol after this.

“Shut up. The beer fairy does not exist, Kris Wu Yifan.” When Tao started the car, he finally spoke, choosing to ignore what Kris said about the alcohol on his tab.

It wasn’t like Kris hadn’t done it before, all Tao had to do was threaten to rip apart Kris’ alpaca stuffed toy and Kris would pay up.

Kris just smiled toothily, then promptly vomited all over Tao’s backseats.

~

Kris muttered something about painkillers as he left the house. Tao nodded absently as he flipped through the latest Gucci catalogue, past the ladies’ section to the one for men. He didn’t know what was going on until Kris returned half an hour later with two six-pack cans of beer.

“Your ninety-dollar drinking spree wasn’t even a week ago, and you want to drink again?” Tao closed the catalogue and put it safely on the higher shelf- food stains, drool and alcohol had gone all over his catalogue the previous time he left it on the coffee table, no thanks to the grinning bastard sitting next to him.

“I wonder if the beer fairies will come,” Kris muttered as he slit the packaging open with a penknife, painkillers forgotten on the kitchen counter. Rolling his eyes, Tao got the ice and dumped some into a cup for Kris- Why did he tolerate him again?- and took a can of his own.

At least the beer was good.

~

Ten cans and two rounds of Wushu competitions later (six cans by Kris and four by Tao), all the ice had melted away in its bucket and cups, and Kris was rolled up on one of the end of the couch in a foetal position, hugging his stupid alpaca stuffed toy. Tao was sprawled out on the other end, feet dangling on the back of the couch. The pleasant buzz of the alcohol and the television in the background was lulling Tao into a strange feeling- like he wanted to do something with the itchy feeling in his veins.

Then he raised his head and saw a short, baby-faced man standing at the foot of the sofa. “Kris…” Tao muttered, moving one foot to nudge Kris with his toe. “Kris, why is there a man with a face like baozi in our house?” Before Kris could answer, the man spoke, rather indignantly: “Hey! I don’t have a face like a baozi! I do love baozi though…” Kris raised his head groggily at those words, then threw his stuffed toy at the man halfway through his rant about baozi.

“Anyway, I’m the beer fairy! My name is Xiumin! Well, actually, my name is Minseok, but people call me Xiumin!” the enthusiastic introduction was met with Tao’s arched, unimpressed eyebrow and Kris’ groan as his head dropped, before realizing that the Alpaca toy he threw had disappeared.

“Baozi?” “My alpaca!” the two varied responses confused the beer fairy aka Xiumin aka Minseok further.

“Your alpaca? Named baozi?” Uncertainty drifted over his childish features, and he called out before either of them could stop him. "Baek? Baek, do you know any alpacas? Named baozi?" 

"Alpaca?" The next babyish face that appeared was just as confused as Xiumin, and Tao fought back a groan. Two beer fairies, and a drunken half-hysterical Kris? this couldn't be good.

"Quiet! Shut up! Where is my alpaca stuffed toy?" above the babble of Xiumin and the fairy called Baek arguing about the colour of Alpacas, Kris was shouting and contributing to the headache building behind Tao's eyes. How the fairies got to aruging about the colour of Alpacas was a mystery to Tao, so he decided to take matters into his own hands- the two baozi sitting on the table that he and Kris intended for their midnight snack was stuffed into the fairy's mouths, and he walked around the couch to get the alpaca stuffed toy. He smacked it onto Kri's stomach, inciting a noise containing mixture of annoyance and gratitude that Tao couldn't quite decipher, and the house was quiet.

For about two seconds, maybe.

Tao swore that Xiumin probably should have been a baozi fairy instead of a beer fairy- the bun disappeared in ten seconds and he was talking again.

"Anyway, beer fairies, at your service!" Xiumin swallowed the bun, grinned and smacked his lips. Then Baek finished his bun too and both of them wore stupid, identical grins as they stared down at the pair of roommates.

Then Tao's world went black, fading into unconsciousness.

~

"I was supposed to confess to him!  Not have you knock him out!" Kris protested as the beer fairies looked at him and grinned. 

"Well, actually, you knocked him out." Kris growled at Baek's (valid) point, making him scoot two steps away from the volatile male.

"Why don't you just kiss him?" Consultation with the beer fairies 3 had begun. Well, hopefully, this would work out, Kris thought resignedly. Third time's the charm!

"Wait what?" When the words the baozi fairy had said finally registered in his brain, he blinked. "Kiss Tao?" Okay, fine, maybe he was in love with his best friend, but right now Tao probably wouldn't remember what happend the next day. Kris was less drunk than he let on, but Tao was more drunk than he acted out to be, which was why Kris never brought him drinking outside the house. He could wreck the entire bar or incite a riot with drunken wushu.

"What should I do..." Kris groaned. He had no idea how to confess, even though he had received countless ones from brave girls. go figure, he couldn't confess to his best friend, making him more cowardly than all the random girls during high school.

"Beer fairies~ you're supposed to help me-" Kris looked up from wallowing in self-pity to see two said fairies each other's faces off, from their lips.

Letting out a groan of disgust, Kris crawled over to Tao- he didn't want to see two lovebirds kissing; he wanted to kiss his own lover, aka (hopefully) Tao in the near future.

"Gah..." his fingers lingered over Tao's features, thumbs brushing over his cheeks and his lips as he straddled Tao's chest. The beer fairies were working their magic, and he leaned down, slowly pressing his lips against Tao's.

To hell with it.

~

Tao woke up to the feeling of warm, soft lips pressing against his and a pressure against his chest, warm and moving and altogether too comfortable.

Wait... What?

Kris' face was in front of his, eyes half-lidded as his lips were connected to Tao's own in a light, intimate and not unwelcome tingling. Tao moaned into Kri's mouth- his brain was shutting down, and one small part wondered why the was his best friend kissing him, and why was he kissing back- but something else shut up it up, maybe because Kris was a good kisser, or maybe he might have liked Kris, just a little bit, since they first started rooming or maybe even before it.

When Kris moved his face away, face burning, Tao stopped him by wrapping an arm around his waist, and Kris realized - very slow and very late - that Tao was awale. Oh, .Tao was going to go all wushu on him and he was a butchered chunk of meat. His brain must have been in a bit of a mess to realize that people usually don't put an arm around your waist before they prepare to kill you.

"Don't you have something to say, Wu Yifan?" The amusement in Tao's voice was not lost on the 'frozen-oh-' thinking Kris (finally). Well, here goes nothing.

"I like you." Three words from Kris, and Tao's brows furrowed. Kris' heart dropped into his stomach.

"I like you too, Kris. Now what do you ask me next?" , it was seductive Tao, and a frozen Kris was not good at dealing with sedutive Tao. Kris' hands on Tao's chest were slowly moved away and Tao sat up such that Kris was sitting on his lap. Said Kris couldn't breathe. Tao liked him back. Now what?

Tao muttered something about idiots and pressed his lips against Kris' neck, nuzzling it softly.

"Will you be my boyfriend, Kris?" he spoke slowly, softly, his lips moving slowly across Kris' heated, flushing skin.

this was all wrong, but Kris couldn't care less. "Yes, yes, just-" as Tao flicked his earlobe, he let out a short, shuddering moan, and Tao looked amused as he heard the sound.

"Good."

~

When Tao woke up the next day on the couch with Kris sleeping on his chest and beer cans scattered everywhere, two baozi missing from the table, he grinned to himself. Maybe, just maybe, the beer fairies existed after all.

~

 

I am done. Thank you so much for reading /bows and laughs quietly/

The epilogue will be up next, hopefully by tomorrow.

Thank you and good night~