Chapter 7

Looking back on the day of his father’s funeral, Donghae couldn’t help but to feel a great remorse wash over him. Not only had it been the day that he’d finally had to put the man who had taught him most everything he knew to rest, but it had also been the day when he most fearsomely felt the loneliness that has sprouted in his heart since the man’s official death. Ever since the day that Kibum had attacked him in the boy’s bathroom at his school, Donghae had decided not to go to school. It had been three days since the bad news was received, two since the funeral and countless days since Donghae’s life fell to tatters. Eunhyuk had gone missing from his life.

The day of the funeral had been a normal day. Warmth beyond belief washed over all who had come to say their farewells and left them distracted; each looking to get out of the sun as soon as could be done, none really focused on what was happening before them save Donghae and his family.

  Donghae remembered hearing his mother’s sniffled cries from the shadows behind him, he could feel the grip of Donghwa’s hand on his shoulder as his older brother tried to contain his emotions will all his will. The three on them were focused alright. They all watched with vigilant eyes as their beloved was pulled down into the earth. They watched as his casket landed and heard the first thud of finality as the sand was replaced into the hole it had come from, hitting the box as it landed. The song they sang was a sad song, a song of grief, a song of sorrow and never ever afters. The reality of the situation hit hard when all had gone and just three remained.

“May your soul rest in peace my love.” A heartbroken woman spoke. She stood between her children and held their hands with a squeeze of what little reassurance she could give wither own heart howling in pain. The shovel had hit the newly formed lump in the ground with the solidity of their fated future. It was one where smiles weren’t as bright and the rain never stopped beacause it was leaking from within.  Heavens gates had closed for Lee Seungyeon and the world he’d left behind. They’d shut his family out, Donghae could feel the difference now. He no longer had any distractions as he’d had when he’d met a friend. He’d thought all would be fine, but nothing ever really was now was it?

That morning he had made the effort to make his way out of bed. He put on a somewhat presentable outfit and walked out the door. It was cloudy out; the expected rain an after effect of too much sunshine. Spring had come with heartache, but that morning was well matched with how he felt. Donghae made his way to the park that had grown so familiar in such a short space of time. His gaze wondered over to the new life that bloomed atop tree branches and scoffed at the irony of life. He wondered how the world could be so alive when a person he loved was dead. His gaze lingered a while longer as he walked slowly towards a familiar driveway. But even so, the shadows can’t hide I such bright light, he though and yes, it was shadowy indeed.

The life that grew across the street from where he stood was overcast with the shadow of sorrow. Even the brightest rays of sunlight couldn’t hide the darkness that took over his world. It only made sense for the place where he once found solace to be drowned in darkness as it was as the clouds rolled in overhead. His light had vanished after all. 

***

Afraid

That was his current state as he sat huddled in his room. His parents had come knocking several times during the days passed but found no answer to their inquiries. Eunhyuk had seen what had happened to Donghae a few days back, he had been watching from afar, too scared to get close, too scared to alert Donghae of the change in him, but when he had seen Kibum marching his way into the bathroom after Donghae, he had failed to act on time.

It was only hours later that he had come to his senses and told Donghwa of what had happened to Donghae, to which Donghwa’s response was to slug him in the face with a burning hot fist and rage scorching his every following accusation of abandonment. 

Eunhyuk couldn’t deny any of the accusations thrown at him nor could he deny that he had deserved to be punched in the face.

He had done worse than just abandon Donghae in his time of need; he had hidden and cowered in the face of facing a reality he wasn’t yet strong enough to handle without Hyukjae. He had failed the one person who had been brave enough to put his faith in him and as Eunhyuk sat hidden in the confines of his room, he wondered what Donghae was doing then. Was the boy alright? How had he reacted after the confrontation? Would he want to see him after he’d been missing all these day?

  None of the questions when answered but one; when Eunhyuk heard the sound of the door bell ringing. Because of the absence of both his parent- who worked- he was forced to leave the stuffy safety of his room to go check who that was, never once imagining that it would be Donghae, staring at him beneath a head of sodden hair that leaked with the tears of the pouring rain. The heavens had been grumbling all morning but Eunhyuk had failed to notice when at last they had decided to unleash their cries. 

“Well, are you gonna let me in.” Donghae seemed stoic and nonreactive. Eunhyuk had never seen his expression so void of emotion that it dug into the hearts of even those who viewed it. He was afraid that his absence had contributed to that emptiness. It was with w heavy heart that he stepped aside and let the soaked boy in. 

  “Stand on the mat for a moment.” He said as he closed the door and headed to the bathroom to grab a dry towel for Donghae. Donghae took it without a word and wiped himself down. He removed his shoes and placed them to the side before taking his first step towards Eunhyuk and the freezing. It seemed to Eunhyuk that he was contemplating something deeply for second before he finally decided to act by rushing Eunhyuk and throwing his arms around him as if he was his last life line.  Eunhyuk instantly returned the embrace and let his feelings catch up with him. It had been days since he had last seen Donghae and he really had driven himself crazy with guilt over just leaving him. Seeing the boy at his doorstep, well that did the trick enough to knock him out of his frightened stupor and into the realness of what he was feeling.

He had found a friend in Donghae and Donghae had found a friend in him. His fear seemed so stupid as he realised that all the time he had been hiding he could have leaned on Donghae’s shoulder while letting the other lean on his. As they stood there crying in each other’s arms,, Eunhyuk came to see that all this time he’d spent thinking that he was weak for relying on Hyukjae, he had failed to see that he was strong enough to let Hyukjae rely on him. He had been irrationally afraid  and all that was left to say to rectify the matter was:

“I’m sorry Hae. I’ll never leave you again.”     

Heaven 

“I’ve made up my mind”

Hyukjae just couldn’t help but to think how everything had just spiralled out of control since his first encounter with Donghae at the park in the past two months.

During the weeks they had just left behind them, Hyukjae found himself doing only reckless things that he knew he was not allowed to do, especially since this was still his first assignment as a Guardian. He had broken an important rule, and he just barely felt remorse for it.

Hyukjae had done it purely on impulse. 

His brothers had warned him not to get too emotionally involved, but instead of listening to them, Hyukjae had gone ahead and befriended his assigned family. He had tried his best to see his mission through yet in the end Hyukjae had failed miserably in his quest.

“Don’t need to think it over”

As he roamed the confines of what was Raphael’s imprisonment- his pure spirit in the form of an endless room- Hyukjae found himself thinking up all the ways possible in which he could change his fate. He was back to escorting souls across the Cinvat Bridge but somehow change had taken what had been an honourable assignment and turned it into what seemed a tedious task now. He could feel the shame wash over him each time he regretted that he wasn’t with the Lee’s because in Heaven, the task he was reassigned was just as important as all other tasks he could have been allocated. It was just that he could still feel. Perhaps that was part of Raphael’s punishment for him. 

Regardless of the Arch Angels intentions, his feelings remained the bane of his existence. It was not only the feelings, but also the memories. He could still remember the brightness in Donghae’s smile the first time he’d deigned to show it to him; he could remember the warmth in Donghae’s hand as he connected it with his own in comfort the first time Donghae had broken down from the stress of his situation.  Hyukjae still remembered the times when he and Donghwa would shoot some hoops at the park whenever the latter needed to release some steam. He remembers how both boys had trusted him enough to cry in front of him and share their burdens with him. He had thought that despite his human form, he was still helping them and could continue to protect them after their fathers passing. He was wrong.

He told himself each day that he was making a difference, but even that had been a lie.

Stuck in the never ending stillness that was his cell, Hyukjae could only think of one way to truly make a difference in the lives of those who he now considered his friends.

Raphael’s imprisonment was solid; a force field around the singular form that was him- never ending and never beginning. Hyukjae could go anywhere he liked; do anything he liked; as long as it was within Heaven space. Raphael sew to it that Hyukjae was bound to Heaven. This is why the plan that Hyukjae has formulated HAD to be executed while he was stuck within Heaven space.

Hyukjae had been asking many questions of late; “Are you an angel under Chief Gabriel?” 

“Do you have direct contact with him?”

 “No? Do you know how I can get in touch with him?”

  “Brother Eeteuk is within his direct line of communication?”

“How can I find Brother Eeteuk?”

The Questions had been flying out of his mouth as quick as they were formulated but with good cause. He had to find the Arch Angel Gabriel.

If I’m wrong, I am right

It was much sooner than expected that his encounter with the Chief Angel came to an abrupt reality.

“I hear you’ve been seeking me” The voice was soft, but lacked gentleness. It was rather playful yet had a firmness to it that warned caution to all who heard it. Hyukjae had just handed a soul to Heechul- who stood by the Gates of heaven to let souls in- when the voice sounded in his ears. There was no presence to accompany it and he could tell from the lack of static in the channel that transmitted it that it was not coming from Enochian. It seem, rather, like the voice was coming from within him, like a though one thinks consciously; but this was not his thought. It was Gabriel’s.

“Yes” he thought in reply, “I have been seeking you brother of all brothers, messenger of our Father. I have much to ask you but no time now.” 

  “Is that so?” the voice responded, “Then call me to you when you are free of duties and I shall appear before you.” And just like that the voice was gone. 

Just like humans often did, angels worked in shifts, though not on an hourly basis. It was two weeks later that Hyukjae was finally relieved of his duties and permitted some rest. It was during this time that he hid and took the first vital step towards implementing his plan.

“Brother Gabriel” he called vocally, afraid that his thoughts may end up being transmitted through Enochian if he tried to call the angel by means of thought. It was instantaneous, the response he received. It came in the form of a round dot appearing before him as plain as day. The dot resembled a raindrop but as Hyukjae squinted to inspect it further he saw it change right before his eyes. At first he could not tell what it would become but as he looked on it to moulded itself into the form of a man; tall and handsome.

“You called for me?” the angel said with a grin playing on the face that he wore. He gave Hyukjae a once over before saying: “Aren’t you the handsome one? I’m surprised you still choose to remain in your human for even after being pulled so forcefully from him. Did you get hurt? Is the vessel okay?”

  The casualness with which Gabriel spoke made Hyukjae feel at ease at once; to him, it seemed as if the Angel was not as concerned with formalities as all the rest apparently were.  

“Brother-”

“Please, call me Gabriel. No brother this brother that business. I find that highly annoying.” Hyukjae was right. The angel had no interest in formalities but seemed rather irked by them instead.

“I’m sorry…Gabriel… My name is Hyukjae-” Hyukjae began, but it seemed like the arch angel was set on interrupting him.

“I know who you