Dear Siwan,

This year has flown by so quickly. It was also my first year here, at this middle school. Most importantly, my first year meeting you.

I don't know if you realized it or not, but you meant so, so much to me. Your smile, your laugh, just seeing you made me happy. I wonder why, but who knows.

But, you hated me. It felt like you hated me with ever fiber in your body, it was that intense. This didn't faze me. Why should I be shaken by how you judge me?

Around February, I changed my mind. I told myself that I was too good for you, and moved on to one Kim Myungsoo. That was short-lived. If anything, I liked you more than ever. Myungsoo and I got closer as friends, but nothing more.

So, I went back to the inevitable choice, you.

Except...

I made the very naïve mistake of confessing. Confessing somewhere that you wouldn't care to listen. Confessing somewhere that you could turn away and ignore me. That's what you did. You told me to eff off, out of your life.

Do you know how much I cried that day? The sobs came like rain. Unpredictably unstoppable. You've called me things like ugly, or fat, but nothing hurt as much as your cold rejection did. You're probably thinking to yourself, "Why is that dummy even thinking about this in middle school? Besides, I'm a year older!" Though I don't get how the age difference is significant, I know you thought that eighth graders were "so much better" than seventh graders. At least, o