“Do you still have names left on your list?“
“Only one”. Chanyeol pulled out the sheet of paper. It was crumpled from being folded to often and carelessly being stuffed into pant pockets. He didn’t really have to look at it, he knew every name on there by heart, even the ones that had long been crossed out. Chanyeol didn’t need to look up to know that his boss was giving him a disapproving glare for how he handled official work documents. He couldn’t care less. His thumb traced over the name at the very end of the list, ink faded from constant touch. “Do you want me to give you a new list?” “Nah, not yet,” his boss sighed. “You’re dismissed.” When Chanyeol was already halfway out of the door his boss spoke up again: “Try to not cause such a ruckus again, we don’t need the press to write about what we’re doing.” Not turning around Chanyeol nodded. He made sure to close the door with a bit more force than needed.
 
A friend had written Chanyeol earlier that day and said that he would drop by his work place. Now Jongin waited in the hallway for him, nose buried in a newspaper. A large photo of a burning house could be seen on the front page. The title read: “Family house burned down – Was it arson?“
The corners of Chanyeol's mouth tugged upwards when he saw his friend standing there. “Hey,“ he greeted the younger male. Jongin looked up and his face broke into a wide grin. “Look who's there! You're becoming famous, you know? Did you want to burn the whole house down or was it an accident?“. Chanyeol frowned, “I don't make mistakes.“ His friend raised a hand defensively “Okay, okay. I read that the uncle and the youngest son were killed. Which one of them was it?“ “The son“. Jongin raised an eyebrow questioningly “Why kill the uncle then?“ The older male rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. He enjoyed Jongin's company, but he was exhausted. Chanyeol had been up all night and had been ordered in by his boss early in the morning. Today was not a good day for more questions. “He protected the son“. Jongin didn't smile any more: “What kind of powers did he have?“ “The son? He could create lightning,“ Chanyeol replied. The younger male whistled appreciatively. He rustled with the newspaper for a moment and then began reading out loud:
 
“The recent tragic deaths of two members of the Kim family let old rumours resurface. The youngest son, Kim Jongdae, was a known Chojayeon (a person with supernatural abilities, for example flight, controlling water etc. ). The legal system in the kingdom of Exo states that every Chojayeon has to enlist in a special subunit of the kingdom's army. It's to be assumed that Kim Jongdae's death is related to him breaking this law. Many citizens believe that the king has a special force of Chojayeon to take care of those who disobey him. This rumour has never been officially confirmed nor denied...“
 
Jongin trailed off and looked at Chanyeol.
 
“Sounds like my job description,“ the older tried to joke, but his smile looked horribly fake. Jongin pulled a face. “This is serious, it doesn't help to improve the image of Chojayeon in society.“
Chanyeol said nothing. He knew the other was right, but at the same time he hated it when Jongin talked like he knew what it was like to be a Chojayeon. He wasn't one of them and no matter how hard he tried he would never know just how much this bad image dedicated their everyday life. Chanyeol was used to be thought of as freak by society, to see the fear in “normal“ people's eyes. Chojayeon aren't people. They're less and the only reason they're allowed to live is to do the dirty work for those without abilities, or so they say.
The two friends fell into silence. Jongin folded the newspaper and put it in his bag. He then coughed awkwardly.
“How's your boyfriend?“, he asked in an attempt to lighten the mood, “I didn't get a chance to see him in quite a while.“
“Baekhyun's fine, he went out with his best friend Luhan today.“
“Luhan?“
“Another Chojayeon. He can control time.“
“That's a very useful and very dangerous ability.“ Chanyeol nodded. “Is everything all right between you and Baekhyun?“ The older male was surprised by the question. When he answered, he looked at his feet, “Sure.“ Jongin didn't believe him. Chanyeol's expression had darkened when his boyfriend was mentioned, but the younger didn't want to prod. He sighed. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?“ A small nod. Chanyeol put his hand in his pant pocket. And felt the list there. Jongin was a good friend. They had known each other for a long time, and although Chanyeol being a Chojayeon lead to a few problems at first, Jongin had never let him down. Recently they didn't get to spend much time together and Chanyeol regretted it with what he planned to do. The murder of the last person on his list would change everything between them. His heart ached at the thought. He stepped closer to the younger and punched him playfully against the arm. “You're a good person. I hope you'll find happiness in life.“ Jongin looked at him confused. “Wait, what...,“ he began, but Chanyeol interrupted him, “I have to get going now, take care“. He play-punched him again and started walking away. When he heard Jongin call out his name he quickened his pace. He couldn't face his friend again. Chanyeol was pretty sure that if he turned around now, he would tell Jongin everything and then he would never be able to fulfil his job.
 
A harsh cold wind hit Chanyeol when he left the building. It had rained that morning and the sky was as grey and ugly as the city. He tugged up the collar of his coat and began making his way home.
 
The small apartment Chanyeol lived in with his boyfriend lay in the outskirts of the city. Everything was a bit run down and the neighbourhood was quite shady, but Baekhyun had assured him that he didn't mind when they moved in. It was not like they could afford something fancy in the centre of the city anyway.
Chanyeol noticed that someone had thrown in a window at the neighbours apartment. The married couple that lived their was fighting again. He knew that the husband was an abusive alcoholic and Chanyeol had thought about setting him on fire more than once, but if people found out that would get him in big trouble, . A Chojayeon killing a “normal“ person, that could get him hanged.
 
The apartment was quiet when he entered, too quiet for his liking. Baekhyun normally couldn't stand silence. They didn't have a radio or television he could turn on, so he would sing or cook, anything to create noise. Chanyeol checked his watch. Baekhyun should be home already. He took off his shoes and placed them next to the door. His coat was lazily thrown on top of them.
“Baekhyun?,“ he called out. No reply. He checked the living room and the kitchen. His boyfriend's jacket on the couch indicated that he was indeed there. Chanyeol opened the door to their shared bedroom slowly. He knew that it creaked horribly if you weren't careful. Maybe Baekhyun was asleep.
The sight that greeted him shocked him to the bone and his eyes widened in horror.
Baekhyun was sitting on the bed, the barrel of a gun in his mouth, finger on the trigger. When he noticed his boyfriend in the door he put the gun down in a moment of surprise. Chanyeol reacted quickly. He lunged forward and pulled the weapon out of Baekhyun's hand. “What the hell, Baek!“ he yelled. His boyfriend flinched at the loud voice, but then broke into a smile. “Chanyeol...,“ he said and got up from the bed. Chanyeol felt the adrenaline from the initial shock course through his veins. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. “I'm glad you're here so I can say goodbye properly,“ Baekhyun said and stepped closer to the other. Chanyeol thought he wanted to get the gun back. He quickly took out the magazine and threw it across the room, away from them both. “Why...,“ Chanyeol managed to choke out, “why do you want to kill yourself?“. Baekhyun took his boyfriend's trembling hands in his. “So you don't have to.“
Chanyeol's world seemed to shatter around him. “Channie, did you really think you could hide this from me? Do you think I would just let it go when my love comes home distraught and doesn't look me in the eyes for months? I've seen the list. You should really be more careful with such documents in the future...“. Baekhyun's eyes had filled with tears while he talked. Chanyeol couldn't look in his boyfriend's eyes. The other wore a short sleeved T-Shirt and Chanyeol noticed that the skin was burned where he had touched him when he grabbed the gun. He had lost control over his ability for a moment. It had happened before, but he had never hurt Baekhyun in the process. “Chanyeol...,“ his voice had lost all of its strength and instead he just sounded broken. Chanyeol's heart ached and he felt like punching someone, favourably himself. How could it ever come so far. “Why didn't you run?“ Chanyeol whispered. He didn't trust his voice at the moment. “It wouldn't have changed anything, would it?“, Baekhyun asked and laughed humourlessly. He wiped away the tears that were now running down his cheeks freely. “Damn, and I swore myself I wouldn't cry.“ Chanyeol thought that his knees would give any moment, so he went over to the bed and sat down. His lover sat beside him. Chanyeol took a few deep breaths to calm and collect himself. “Let's talk about this.“ Baekhyun smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
“I'm ready to die,“ he began “I don't want to, but I accept my fate.“
“How can you say it like that?“
“I'm a dead man walking. You can't stand up to the kingdom and think you'll get out alive. I knew sooner or later someone would come to get me, but that it had to be you of all people...“
“When you found out, did you think I would do it?“
“I didn't want to believe it, but yes. They said they'd harm your family if you didn't, right?“
“Yes, Baek, I love you, but my little sister and...“
“Don't! I've thought about it for a long time and of course it hurts, but I can't be as selfish to expect you to put me over your family.“
“Baekhyun“
“I love you and that's why I have to kill myself.“
With that Baekhyun took the gun out of Chanyeol's hand and stood up. Before the other could react Baekhyun had already retrieved the magazine and loaded the weapon. He pointed it at his head. Chanyeol jumped up “No!“ They were both crying by now. Baekhyun raised his free hand to signal his boyfriend to stop. “Don't come closer!“ His voice shook as did his hands “I have to do this! I know you, Channie, you won't be able to kill me, but you can't endanger your family. And even if you did, the guilt would eat you alive.“ Chanyeol opened his mouth, but Baekhyun just talked over him “This is my decision. I signed my death sentence when I refused to become a slave of the kingdom. Don't let this ruin you! I love you, please get happy with someone else, take care of your family and your friends.“ Chanyeol was panicking. He couldn't lose Baekhyun. He had needed half a year to convince himself that maybe he could kill him. But worries about his family that lived in another city and only had him to depend on since his father died gnawing at his mind. But he was wrong, so horribly wrong and he only realized it now. He would never have been able to do his job. He fell to his knees “Please, please, please don't do this! We can figure something out, no one has to get hurt, not you, not my family! You're the love of my life, I can't lose you!“. Baekhyun seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then Chanyeol could see a spark in eyes that showed he had made a decision. Baekhyun spoke the next words quietly and his calmness scared Chanyeol: “It's okay, I love you too, but there's no way out of this for me“. And with that Baekhyun pulled the trigger.

Chanyeol yelled his name, but it was to late. His lover collapsed. Chanyeol rushed forward “No, no, no“. He pulled Baekhyun's body, cradled his head in his lap, but Baekhyun's unseeing eyes told him that everything was lost. How could he ever have thought he would be able to kill the other? Chanyeol sobbed uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face and dripping onto Baekhyun's forehead. His lover's blood was on his hand literally and metaphorically. He should have done something. When he received the list with Baekhyun's name on it he should have told him and they would have run. There would have been a way to get Chanyeol's family and themselves out of the kingdom. They would have lived in the countryside where no rules applied and no one had to die because they were different. Should have, should have, should have. Now Baekhyun was dead. Chanyeol glanced at the gun. He could barely see it, because tears clouded his vision. How must Baekhyun have felt when he found out that his lover was supposed to kill him? He thought it would be best to kill himself. Chanyeol felt guilt and loss in every fibre of his body. His lover had killed himself, so Chanyeol wouldn't have to kill him.
“I'm so, so sorry“, he whispered and Baekhyun's hair lovingly. Then he reached for the gun...