A/N: An analytical essay on a few observed habits of Park Jinyoung. (Blue are clickable links!)

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Jackson Wang once proclaimed quite confidently on a show being watched by avid fans across the globe that, “Mother is basketball.” This statement was directed at a particular member in this multi-talented group of seven boys, one going by the name of Park Jinyoung, stage name Jr., later renamed Junior so as to avoid confusion over his identity on many different fronts. This claim by Mr. Wang was clearly meant to be a descriptor for this fascinating male, and yet, I argue today that it would be folly to not examine the matter further. However, I wish to state very clearly here that the purpose of this essay is not meant to refute the mother-like role Park Jinyoung/Junior/Jr. holds. Nor is my purpose to examine the complicated relationship between “Mother” and “basketball” and the state of being and existence the word “is” invokes. That is a matter beyond my realm of expertise. Rather, it is simply my intention to delve behind the surface of appearances, and perhaps reveal an astonishing new side to this motherly Park Jinyoung. (Again Junior, just to be clear).

Through my long extensive hours of studying, research, and observation, a few trends began to surface. Well known habits of Park Jinyoung include caring for s, feeding them food, teasing the maknaes, and a variety of other very heartwarming scenarios that perfectly help shape his image as a motherly person. He smiles fondly and is known for indulging in hugs, and yet, I have also discovered that Jinyoung (Junior, don’t get confused with JYP now) has a startlingly tendency to twist his features into a much less...common expression for one of his status. His eyes grow wider, blinking at lesser frequencies. His lips jut out, and occasionally his cheeks will inflate for maximum effect. If you’ve managed to produce a mental image of the expression I’ve described, please do not be alarmed; you are exactly right. Jinyoung (not Jr. but Junior) seems to be very predisposed to pout.

You can see evidence of it for yourself here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here here here.....

I could easily go on to provide more evidence, but I believe it’s safe to say the first-hand documentation I have thus far provided should be more than sufficient in proving this phenomenon is one that recurs quite frequently. And yet, there exists even more shocking behaviors. The next habit I stumbled upon was quite befuddling to my mind, since it is probably as rare as it is strange. After careful observation, it seems harmless enough, and yet, to this day I have yet to discover a productive cause for it. In terms of the pouting, as shocking as it may seem, at least there are undeniable merits to being able to pull out aegyo on a whim. Especially if you have weak hyungs or friends you can exploit for their money. However, Park Jinyoung’s almost unconscious obsession with sleeves, of all things, continue to be an enigma that I must pursue with more extensive research.

Please, take a look for yourself, here, and here, and here, and here, and most importantly this large compilation here...

It is simply mind boggling. It makes one wonder; perhaps he has perpetually cold hands? But then, why not use gloves instead? Is it that all his clothes manage to be ill-fitting at the sleeves? But then, do they not have stylists? I still have no answer. However, it was while studying this particular phenomenon that I accidentally stumbled upon a hidden caveat, which turned out to be my third and final point today. Take a careful look at this particular incident. Just sleeves again, isn’t it? That may be all it appears to be at first glance, but with just slightly more digging I found this was no simple posing for the camera. Rather, it appears to be only one incident of an alarmingly frequent act Park Jinyoung Jr. partakes in. An act that is not simply bizarre, but dangerous. Yes, as improbable as it seems, it would appear that Junior often possesses the irresistible urge to put random objects in his mouth, quite literally whatever he can get his hands on. From microphones to clothing to fingers to wreaths(?) to more microphones to ?????!!!!!!!, he doesn’t seem to discriminate at all. Not only is this an extreme hygiene concern, one also cannot help but wonder if there are other underlying problems that are causing this phenomenon. A perpetual hunger that is urging him to eat whatever is at hand? He’s even tried to take a bite out of fellow Got7 member Yugyeom (more than once), and if that particular hypothesis is correct, this insatiable hunger could be cause for safety concerns.

And yet, despite all this, I would like to assure you, or at least assuage some fears, that I sincerely do not believe the situation is quite so dire. Instead, in taking a step back, I believe these otherwise alarming behaviors may be pointing at a different conclusion. Rather than attributing the third habit to a deep hunger, by looking at the evidence gathered you may see that the behavior more closely resembles that of a teething baby, perhaps going through the oral fixation stage all young children go through. The pouting, as well, is indicative of a more childlike mindset. As for the sleeves, well, I must humbly admit I have yet to find a solid connection but I remain optimistic the link I’m trying to make is still quite plausible.

This is as far as I have gotten in my research, and I would like to reiterate I am not attempting to draw any conclusions as of yet. This is simply sharing the hypothesis that perhaps, perhaps there is more to be explored when discussing this well-established mother of Got7. Much remains to be examined, and I will do my utmost best in remaining diligent in my research and will report back on any further findings.

And if the stars align, perhaps one day, I will finally have enough confidence to tackle on the complex theory of “Mother is basketball.” One day.

And the nyoung peach. 

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A/N: Happy April Fools’ day~~~ lmao hope you guys found this at least a little amusing ;)